And now, something (maybe slightly) different-- soap opera wank!
SoapZone, usually abbreviated SZ, is a very large soap opera site dedicated to discussing all soap operas, but mainly General Hospital. The GH Board is quite the wretched hive of scum and villainy (or cave of catfighting cunts, if you prefer). Shrieking-screaming-flamewars are everyday occurences there, and most of the arguments these days revolve around Sonny and Carly (S&C), the main couple on the show for the past four years. Some time ago, the pro-S&C faction made a big deal out of "leaving SZ forever" and going to post on their own special site, No Ordinary Love, or NOL. NOL is "special" because they have "insiders" who give them spoilers way in advance of other sites. They get really really mad when people post these "special" spoilers to SZ or to other sites, and have gone to extreme lengths to make it hard to do. (It's just like smushing Domlijah and icon-theft wank together!) Now, to the actual wank-- it's nowhere near the bitchiest SZ has ever been, but it's really quite classic.

It all starts when Joybaby posts that she heard "someone" had a conversation with Tamara Braun, the actress who plays Carly, in which Tamara gave out some info about where the current storyline is headed. Joybaby later posts a transcript of the conversation that was copied from NOL (uh-oh), which she says someone e-mailed to her. People freak out, first about the contents of the conversation, then whether Tamara is going to get in trouble for "leaking" this info. Baby_Davis-Corinthos says she's going to be a tattle-tale and get Tamara in trooooouuuu-ble! People laugh at her.

Then the drama really gets going. Fee93 has found Joybaby out! She claims someone has been emailing her these spoilers, but in reality she (gasp!) posts at NOL, pretending to be an S&C fan! She's a SPY! More people react badly to this, increasing the wank exponentially! Then Joybaby responds-- she is shocked, SHOCKED that NOL tracks its members. Sadly, no one compares NOL to Nazis, but people do scream "hypocrite!", because Joybaby, a DIRTY SPY, is mad about being SPIED ON. (Oh, the irony!)</a>

What next? Why, we bring DataLounge into it! An anonymous "insider" posts in the DL Gossip forum that Tamara denies ever having the conversation. This is then posted at SZ.

Finally, we reach the absolute apex of the wank, which has oh-so-sadly been deleted. (I saw it this morning, but didn't have time to save it before going to work. Alas.) Someone decides they've had enough of all this NOL crap and calls for a boycott of all SZ posters who are also NOL members. She decides that whenever one of "them" replies to her, she's going to respond, "I don't speak to NOL people." Yeah! That'll show 'em!

And then there's some falling action, with your obigatory "You're all so mean!" posts like this one, "The COWARDNESS [sic] that abounds at SZ!", and then the group hug/poster appeciation/popularity contest can't-we-all-just-get-along post. And SZ settles back to its usual bitchy self, awaiting the next big fight, which is sure to come along in a few days.