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Elf From Space ([info]elffromspace) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2003-12-03 20:07:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:fandom: harry potter

Not-Bob will "SUE" us all!
Some of you may recall Not-Bob from a wank here and here mid last week. Shortly after that, Not-Bob went on vacation for the weekend. The residents of pottersues mourned the passing of their amusement and sat around making NUMEROUS Evil Minion icons of all sorts. Then, today, Not-Bob finally came back! Apparently she(he? It?) doesn't like the name you've given her (I'm just going to assume it's a 'she')

100% PMS!!!! PMS ALL THE TIME!!! THAT MUST BE POTTERSUES PROBLEM!!!!! And what does bob mean anyway?????? Yes I know something lesbian so nevermind!!!!!!!!

At first it doesn't seem quite like our good old Not-Bob, as she apparently lost (found?) her CAPS LOCK key for a few sentences, but we were soon relieved when the later posts returned to Not-Bobs unique style of ALL CAPS, lack of punctuation, and any semblance of logic:


STFU YOU DUMB BITCH
I'M GOING TO GET YOU AND POTTERSUES TOO DUMB BITCH!!!! I'M GOING TO
DESTROY THIS PLACE!!!!!!!
I'LL SUE YOU AND THEN REPORT YOU TO LIVEJOURNAL. THIS HAS TO BE ILLIGAL AND IF IT ISN'T THEN I WILL MAKE IT ILLIGAL!!!!!!!

All of this made more amusing by one Narnian Dreamer offering grammatical corrections to each of the flames. Then there's the best line of the entire thread:


MY NAME IS NOT BOB YOU FREAK IF YOU WANT TO CALL ME ANYTHING YOU CAN CALL ME YOUR DOWNFALL!!!!!!

To which clairehuflpuf replied "We know your name is Not-Bob. That's why we've been calling you that."


(Post a new comment)


[info]seventy_three
2003-12-04 04:44 am UTC (link)
Looks to me like the girls on Pottersues can't tell when they're being poked by a troll.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]yadda
2003-12-04 04:48 am UTC (link)
IF YOU WANT TO CALL ME ANYTHING YOU CAN CALL ME YOUR DOWNFALL!!!!!!

When a troll is this amusing it's hard not to poke back.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]zannechaos, 2003-12-04 02:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2003-12-04 05:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2003-12-04 05:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2003-12-04 05:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ruaha56, 2003-12-04 06:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2003-12-04 07:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2003-12-04 06:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2003-12-04 07:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-12-04 06:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2003-12-04 07:07 pm UTC
Hello, my name is YOUR DOWNFALL - [info]elffromspace, 2003-12-04 07:22 pm UTC
Re: Hello, my name is YOUR DOWNFALL - [info]panthea, 2003-12-04 07:55 pm UTC
Re: Hello, my name is YOUR DOWNFALL - [info]ahiru, 2003-12-05 05:09 am UTC
Re: Hello, my name is YOUR DOWNFALL - [info]panthea, 2003-12-05 05:12 am UTC
Re: Hello, my name is YOUR DOWNFALL - [info]elffromspace, 2003-12-05 08:57 am UTC
Re: Hello, my name is YOUR DOWNFALL - [info]ahiru, 2003-12-05 08:37 pm UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
Re: Hello, my name is YOUR DOWNFALL - [info]zannechaos, 2003-12-05 08:49 am UTC
Re: Hello, my name is YOUR DOWNFALL - [info]loafing_oaf, 2003-12-05 11:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-12-04 07:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2003-12-04 07:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2003-12-04 08:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2003-12-04 10:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2003-12-04 10:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2003-12-05 05:38 pm UTC

[info]smo
2003-12-04 04:52 am UTC (link)
WHERE IS THE PERSON WHO HATES ME I WANTED TO HAVE HER LESBO BABIES???

How can you tell if a baby is a lesbo, anyway? Does it come out of the womb clutching a tiny lavender power tool?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2003-12-04 05:37 am UTC (link)
How can you tell if a baby is a lesbo, anyway? Does it come out of the womb clutching a tiny lavender power tool?

Ah, a question for the ages.

And might I say that Jareth is quite the appropriate icon for this conversation. I'm not sure *how* he is. He just *is*.

-Alexa (random_chick on LJ)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]smo, 2003-12-04 05:46 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-12-04 07:16 am UTC

[info]trismegistus
2003-12-05 03:47 am UTC (link)
Nah, you just wait for the little bundle of joy's first words--if they're "Home Depot," you know you're going to be buying hers & hers towel sets in the far future.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]smo, 2003-12-05 06:44 pm UTC

[info]pipssister
2003-12-04 04:56 am UTC (link)
Things like this make me happy to be alive. :-)

(Reply to this)


[info]senor_pinata
2003-12-04 05:32 am UTC (link)
Ahaha. I don't care if Not-Bob is real or not, this is great fun.

(Reply to this)


[info]rann
2003-12-04 05:33 am UTC (link)
Yeah, you gotta wonder if this is all some elaborate farce to provide Fandom_Wank amusement... n.n;

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]elffromspace
2003-12-04 05:42 am UTC (link)
Farce or not. I'm entertained. If nothing else, then by all of the neat titles. I've always wanted to be an Evil Minion ^_^ Also the vague threats of 'sueing' everyone there. Someone is either trying to be funny, or is just a little TOO sue-happy and doesn't appear to even care what the laws actually are, if she's unhappy then pottersues must be doing something illegal.

In the end, does it really matter when it's this amusing?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]squeakytoy
2003-12-04 02:09 pm UTC (link)
If it's providing amusement to F_W, it has purpose. If it has purpose, it's not a farce.

...

I think. :D

Oh, what the hell. It's funny as. That's worth something, surely!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]eyebrowofdoom
2003-12-04 07:24 am UTC (link)
I had to read that three times before I realised she wasn't saying that now she knows something lesbian, she is disengaging from the conversation to devote her attention to the the lesbian something.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]elffromspace
2003-12-04 07:51 am UTC (link)
There is a grammatically corrected version of that particular rant in the main thread, as provided by Narnian Dreamer, if that helps at all:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/pottersues/75009.html?thread=2486273#t2486273

Yeah, the lack of any punctuation aside from "!" and "?" makes flames pretty difficult to read, but sometimes also allows for oh so many more interesting interpretations. ^_^

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Not-Bob YouFreak
[info]zorrorojo
2003-12-04 08:45 am UTC (link)
I was literally laughing so hard, I had tears in my eyes!

My goodness, this is good stuff.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Not-Bob YouFreak
[info]terminal_frost
2003-12-04 09:30 am UTC (link)
I was literally laughing so hard, I had tears in my eyes!

My goodness, this is good stuff.

Oh yeah.

We should give out awards to stuff of this level of quality.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]terminal_frost
2003-12-04 09:32 am UTC (link)
MY NAME IS NOT BOB YOU FREAK IF YOU WANT TO CALL ME ANYTHING YOU CAN CALL ME YOUR DOWNFALL!!!!!!

To which clairehuflpuf replied "We know your name is Not-Bob. That's why we've been calling you that."

Clairhuflpuf and Narnian Dreamer are now my heroes.

OK. Bitches then.

You've gotta love people like them, oh yes indeedy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


ataniell93
2003-12-04 09:39 pm UTC (link)
Would I be a plagiarist if I used this line in a fic? Probably. Sigh.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]elffromspace, 2003-12-04 11:00 pm UTC

[info]bubosquared
2003-12-04 10:22 am UTC (link)
If nothing else, I now have the ultimate rebuff to assholes who insist on calling me "honey". Bwahahahahaha!

Sometimes, the wank is just too good to be true.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]smo, 2003-12-04 01:13 pm UTC
Re: - [info]bubosquared, 2003-12-04 01:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2003-12-04 01:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2003-12-04 01:36 pm UTC
ROTFLMAO!
[info]squeakytoy
2003-12-04 02:16 pm UTC (link)
I'm sorry: "PREPARE FOR YOUR DOOM!"

*falls over laughing*

*picks self up off floor*

Terry Pratchett thought: If five exclamation marks is the sure sign of someone who wears their underpants on their head, then what is seven exclamation marks a sure sign of? Suggestions?

To wit:
I didn't forget about you I just thought you were going to block me somehow anyway!!!!!!!
and
I guess it is the same thing that makes you make this webpage!!!!!!!
and
Yes I know something lesbian so nevermind!!!!!!!! (ooh, might be eight there!)
and
I am giving you a while to take down this webpage on your own but if you don't prepare for A VIOLENT WAR!!!!!!!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: ROTFLMAO! - [info]rous, 2003-12-04 02:21 pm UTC
Re: ROTFLMAO! - [info]squeakytoy, 2003-12-04 02:22 pm UTC
Re: ROTFLMAO! - [info]dae, 2003-12-04 07:40 pm UTC
Re: ROTFLMAO! - [info]zannechaos, 2003-12-05 08:52 am UTC
Re: ROTFLMAO! - [info]squeakytoy, 2003-12-05 09:56 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2003-12-04 03:33 pm UTC (link)
THIS HAS TO BE ILLIGAL AND IF IT ISN'T THEN I WILL MAKE IT ILLIGAL!!!!!!!

Easily my favourite quote of the bunch because Not-Bob has placed cunning clues as to his identity. After careful analysis, I can now reveal that it is in fact ...

George Dubya Bush!

Yes, Pottersues has just joined the Axis of Evil!

nonny.
PS - clairehuflpuf is my heroine. When I grow up, I want to be a gentle smack-down provider, just like her :)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]beccastareyes, 2003-12-04 03:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]redmenace, 2003-12-06 09:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bushleaguer, 2003-12-04 03:51 pm UTC
Teh Funneh - [info]deoridhe, 2003-12-04 05:24 pm UTC
Re: Teh Funneh - [info]bushleaguer, 2003-12-04 09:09 pm UTC
Re: Teh Funneh - [info]deoridhe, 2003-12-05 12:00 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-12-04 08:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bushleaguer, 2003-12-04 09:10 pm UTC

[info]sagralisse
2003-12-04 04:48 pm UTC (link)

(Reply to this)


[info]livii
2003-12-04 06:13 pm UTC (link)
To which clairehuflpuf replied "We know your name is Not-Bob. That's why we've been calling you that."

Oh...beautiful. Just love it.

(Reply to this)


[info]darthfi
2003-12-04 09:43 pm UTC (link)
It's so cool! It's like she's channelling bad-fic Voldemort and it's utterly utterly wonderful.

*sits down and reads, utterly enchanted*

(Reply to this)


[info]elfy
2003-12-05 01:11 am UTC (link)
AWAY FROM ME LESBIAN PERVERT

...is probably my favourite.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]yadda, 2003-12-05 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2003-12-05 04:21 am UTC
So then... - [info]castellated, 2003-12-05 07:55 am UTC

[info]bunny
2003-12-05 01:40 am UTC (link)
THIS IS THE INTERNET AND NOT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE PERFECT.

Argh! Sign #12964 that the internet is "teh Evil". Run for your lives and rudimentary spelling skills, kids!

(Reply to this)


[info]musette
2003-12-06 05:00 am UTC (link)
::dies laughing:: Oh god it's so beautiful! I think this may be the standard by which all future Troll!Wank is judged.

(Reply to this)

  
   
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