Behold my l33t writing skillz...
Over on the Neopets forums (on which I spend no time at all, nah-ah...) american_diva_missy is having delusions of grandeur.

Apparently she's written a movie that's coming out in February. It's called "A Misty Glory". She even lists the stars. People call her on this, pointing out that it doesn't appear in the IMDb or, in fact, feature any real people.

When challenged with this, plus the fact that she's apparently only 11, she refers people to the script.

Scene 1: Emma: (storms into the room) Mother! Mother! It’s a letter from Father! We got a letter from father! Mother: Oh read it aloud dear! (Holding 2 babies) Emma: (looking at letter) Dear Family, I received your last letter! I hope you get this before Christmas. We have a nice lead in the battles so far. At this time it’s impossible to tell when someone will surrender. I know how much it means that we are together for Christmas. General Washington has decided to let me come home for the holidays! (Voice is slowly rising in excitement) Which means I’ll be coming home on Christmas Eve. Emma: Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve. He’s coming home tomorrow! Grace: Daddy’s coming home! Mother: Oh that’s wonderful news! The whole family can be together for Christmas once again! Mother: Now get ready for bed kids. Tomorrow we’re going to make a special welcome home dinner for your father! Annieliese: Let’s have pork and mashed potatoes with gravy!… Grace: (interrupting Annieliese) and carrots Emma: and for desert a big pumpkin pie! Mother: Yes. Tomorrow we’ll make everything for your father. Now good night children. Get a lot of rest. Tomorrow will be a big day! (Annieliese and Grace pick up a ragged doll and blanket and walk upstairs.) Oh and Emma I’ve got to put Marianne and Claire to sleep so would you mind finishing the chores. Emma: Yes mother. (Mother walks upstairs and Emma walks into other room and starts cleaning dishes from sink) Mother: Also, I need you to make that pumpkin pie you were talking about for dinner. It’s one of your father’s old favorites. Emma: Wow! I didn’t know that he liked pumpkin pie that much. Of course I’ll make it. It will be a memorable day when he comes home. Don’t worry mother, I’ll have it finished first thing in the morning. Mother: Oh thank you dear! I’m sure your father will appreciate all the extra things we’re making him. Even Lord knows we can’t afford it easily but I assure you that it will be done. Emma: Anything for Father is worth it, no matter how hard it is. Mother: Good night Emma dear. Emma: Good night Mother. _______________

Although no-one's being particularly wanky apart from the OP, she's a wank and a half all on her own... especially with the addition of a handy sockpuppet (annna166), threats to sue them for annoying her, and the resounding statement (regarding the age of other posters):

i know this is a room full of fakers! No one is 18 D-U-H DUHHHHHHHHHHHH only stupid 18 year olds play neopets.

Why yes. Yes indeed.

(Post a new comment)

	rikoshi 2003-12-07 10:00 pm UTC (link)
	i know this is a room full of fakers! No one is 18 D-U-H DUHHHHHHHHHHHH only stupid 18 year olds play neopets. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... (Reply to this)(Thread)

	panthea 2003-12-08 06:49 pm UTC (link)
	So take this ring? (Reply to this)(Parent)

bunny
2003-12-07 11:08 pm UTC (link)

Scene 1: Emma: (storms into the room) Mother! Mother! It’s a letter from Father! We got a letter from father! Mother: Oh read it aloud dear! (Holding 2 babies) Emma: (looking at letter) Dear Family, I received your last letter! I hope you get this before Christmas. We have a nice lead in the battles so far. At this time it’s impossible to tell when someone will surrender. I know how much it means that we are together for Christmas. General Washington has decided to let me come home for the holidays! (Voice is slowly rising in excitement) Which means I’ll be coming home on Christmas Eve. Emma: Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve. He’s coming home tomorrow! Grace: Daddy’s coming home! Mother: Oh that’s wonderful news! The whole family can be together for Christmas once again! Mother: Now get ready for bed kids. Tomorrow we’re going to make a special welcome home dinner for your father! Annieliese: Let’s have pork and mashed potatoes with gravy!… Grace: (interrupting Annieliese) and carrots Emma: and for desert a big pumpkin pie! Mother: Yes. Tomorrow we’ll make everything for your father. Now good night children. Get a lot of rest. Tomorrow will be a big day! (Annieliese and Grace pick up a ragged doll and blanket and walk upstairs.) Oh and Emma I’ve got to put Marianne and Claire to sleep so would you mind finishing the chores. Emma: Yes mother. (Mother walks upstairs and Emma walks into other room and starts cleaning dishes from sink) Mother: Also, I need you to make that pumpkin pie you were talking about for dinner. It’s one of your father’s old favorites. Emma: Wow! I didn’t know that he liked pumpkin pie that much. Of course I’ll make it. It will be a memorable day when he comes home. Don’t worry mother, I’ll have it finished first thing in the morning. Mother: Oh thank you dear! I’m sure your father will appreciate all the extra things we’re making him. Even Lord knows we can’t afford it easily but I assure you that it will be done. Emma: Anything for Father is worth it, no matter how hard it is. Mother: Good night Emma dear. Emma: Good night Mother.

I am blind, I am blind!

But even when you ignore the formatting, the sheer pointlessness of this scene is mindblowing.

(Reply to this)

	cleolinda 2003-12-07 11:29 pm UTC (link)
	only stupid 18 year olds play neopets Yes, but the twentysomethings are really intelligent... (coughusernamegelsominacough) (Reply to this)(Thread)

	shoiryu 2003-12-08 01:21 am UTC (link)
	I must be stupid, then. cough usernamefuryofwrath cough (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thecomfychair 2003-12-08 04:14 am UTC (link)
	that's a nasty cough you have there, the stupid must be going arou-wheezeusernameorange_quackwheeze oh, pardon me. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sadisticferret 2003-12-08 04:20 am UTC (link)
	Oh, dear. I seem to have caught it too. coughwheezeusername_sadisticferrethack (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mare 2003-12-08 04:37 am UTC (link)
	Oi. I just got over being si- sniffleusername:aureus_obscurumsneeze (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	eljuno 2003-12-08 04:44 am UTC (link)
	Ack, no, bu...coughusername:guster_goldflycough (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mare 2003-12-08 04:50 am UTC (link)
	OT OMG GUSTER! >.> (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	eljuno 2003-12-08 06:26 am UTC (link)
	Guster ownz j00. Any band with a drummer named Brian "The Thundergod" Rosenworcel is gonna get my infinite love. And they fed me beans, once... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mare 2003-12-09 03:00 am UTC (link)
	Bwuah. Yes. I have been 0wn3d. ^_^ sporfle I agree. Oooo.. Beans? What kind? O.o (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	eljuno 2003-12-09 03:08 am UTC (link)
	7 bean salad. They were doing an instore appearance...jeez, right after Goldfly came out, so quite a while ago...and my brother and I were the only people there. They fed us so that they wouldn't have to sit there and admit that no one was coming in for them (those were pretty much Ryan's exact words...) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mare 2003-12-09 03:25 am UTC (link)
	Oooo. laughs Awww. pets them So cute. Hehe. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	loki 2003-12-08 05:36 am UTC (link)
	Cough drop? coughnarsilshardcough I've got plenty... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	virago 2003-12-08 04:10 pm UTC (link)
	Cough drops are unbuyable, ahahahaha. Beg me and act like your world is ending so I can tell you 16 times to visit the dratted Healing Springs. No, I have no idea what you're talking about, and neither have I heard of estieb - weird name. ahem. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ironymaiden 2003-12-08 08:05 pm UTC (link)
	as if anyone of my calibur would play that childrens game! no, my username is NOT layleijecht, no I do NOT worship slorgs, and no, I do not consider myself a HCer. hides in shame (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cotume27 2003-12-08 08:36 pm UTC (link)
	Man, something in this board must be catching. Of course, I, like the rest of you, do not have a Neopets name. Also, I certainly don't have two of them, neither of which are cotume27 or duosgrl72, and I was not thrilled when I FINALLY managed to get a Poogle. Nope. Not at all. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	norabombay 2003-12-08 08:52 pm UTC (link)
	I wouldn't dream of admitting i'm er, norabombay. And that I have Bat Bombay, a something batlike. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	coyotegirl 2003-12-11 04:18 am UTC (link)
	Of course not! I wouldn't ever think of having a username such as prolixity, nor would I ever think of creating a gallery nor being a nasty bitch on help-chat. cough Man. Still a contagious thread after all this time. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tindomerel 2003-12-17 12:09 am UTC (link)
	Exactly! I mean, what kind of a name would tindomerel_hp be anyway. And why would I just have realised that my pets are dying because I haven't been there for ages if I haven't got any pets anyway... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	psychofangirl 2003-12-08 08:53 pm UTC (link)
	Or those close to their 30's coughjowysirencough Course, I haven't played in awhile, but this wank report compelled me to check on my poor pets. :D (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thecomfychair 2003-12-09 12:37 am UTC (link)
	i think neopets secretly created this wank as a vast program to get people to check their pets... mine had been "dying" for like oh...one month? two? three? fandom_wank: saving virtual creatures from virtual death (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	virago 2003-12-09 01:07 am UTC (link)
	Mine are perpetually in the hotel these days. That way I can slack off looking after them and still not suffer virtual-pet guilt. It also amuses me to have a bunch of pets living in a hotel like Eloise. Hehe. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	alseides 2003-12-07 11:53 pm UTC (link)
	I'm so embarrassed for the poor twit.... (Reply to this)

	hephaestoschick 2003-12-08 12:26 am UTC (link)
	That's just... I love how she throws out random names that don't mean anything. They're probably her neighbors, or extras from Law & Order or something. (Reply to this)

	teratologist 2003-12-08 12:43 am UTC (link)
	We have a nice lead in the battles so far. What, is the poor child under the impression that the Revolutionary War was some sort of sporting event? Or a Pokemon tournament? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	trismegistus 2003-12-08 01:43 am UTC (link)
	Oh, you know that Benedict Arnold was part of the Revolutionary War incarnation of Team Rocket. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	beccastareyes 2003-12-08 03:51 pm UTC (link)
	just dies from the MI (Reply to this)(Parent)

	livii 2003-12-08 01:44 am UTC (link)
	That script is just beautiful. It'll be so exciting to watch! Anyone want to quote some of the comments, though - particularly the "actors" in the movie's names? Too lazy to get a Neopets login just to read them... (Reply to this)(Thread)

shoiryu
2003-12-08 01:49 am UTC (link)

Scottie Richards,and a bunch of other various actors!

It's being filmed in the rocky mountains it's being produced by Anna Duhit and a whole bunch of other people. I'm getting paid 300 thousand dollars it's directed by Devin Heroit

Jule Morlow is in it also as one of the dancers as well as back up dancing my Kristina Wentis, Jard Davis, and Celly Flegher

This is the point where the laughter really begins.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cleolinda 2003-12-08 02:20 am UTC (link)
	Battles and dancers? WTF? Oh, it involves... General Washington. See, I was imagining hip-hop dancers. Like some godawful collision of Honey and LOTR. Oh, and I don't know who's typing every single response in the "no forgiveness comment here on the streets of this town" format, but they need to be stopped, stat. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dawnswalker 2003-12-08 08:50 am UTC (link)
	Wait... wait... in the finale, maybe the Americans and the British have a dance-off to settle who gets control of New England? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	smo 2003-12-08 01:32 pm UTC (link)
	The scary thing is, there actually was a musical about the Revolutionary War. No, really. I think it was called 1776. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	eljuno 2003-12-09 01:48 am UTC (link)
	Shit, I'd almost successfully repressed my memories of that stupid thing... (I helped produce a production of it...er, 11th grade, I think...) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	smo 2003-12-09 06:45 am UTC (link)
	Coulda been worse. Imagine the retroactive mortification of the poor schmucks who actually had to perform in it. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	eljuno 2003-12-09 09:04 am UTC (link)
	Now I'm glad I never made it to actor status... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	livii 2003-12-08 04:44 am UTC (link)
	I have to agree - dancers? WTF? Interpretive battle dancing, I suppose. Thanks for the quotes! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2003-12-08 05:36 am UTC (link)
	300 Thousand dollars? I think I have JUST the script for them...Hell I will even throw in paragraphs for free! (I have a big heart like that.) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ramlatch 2003-12-12 10:38 am UTC (link)
	300 thousand dollars?!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHwheezedies laughing That alone tells you that she's full of crap. NO ONE gets paid that much just for writing a script, unless they used gold ink! I don't even think KERUAC would get paid that much. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Not to be a party-pooper, but... rachelmap 2003-12-08 05:37 am UTC (link)
	If she really is 11 isn't she off-limits to Fandom Wank? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: Not to be a party-pooper, but... miss_void 2003-12-08 06:34 am UTC (link)
	Not if her posts are to a community. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	beckalina 2003-12-09 10:05 am UTC (link)
	Hell, with the state of the industry today, you never know. Gigli was made, after all. weeps Oh, Ben. And am I the only one vaguely reminded of Little Women? Very, very, very vaguely, but still. (Reply to this)