Egads...
You know... if I ever venture onto the Friends of Josh Groban messageboard and find no wank at all, I will consider it a sign of the approaching apocalypse.

The first of these wanks I noticed yesterday and thought of reporting it then, but I figured I'd wait and give it time to grow. Unfortunately, it seems to have vanished, but there is a related thread. The gist of the wank is that somebody noticed that a person with the username 'JanuaryLMJ' is lurking around the boards, and posted a message wondering if this was January Jones, Josh' girlfriend.

Cue wank.

Personally, I think that if January Jones were ever to come by the MB, she wouldn't use anything so obvious as her username because I'm sure she's well aware that a good half the people there would happily asassinate her.

On a related note, somebody else took the opportunity to ask, "who is this January person, anyway?"

Cue further wank.

nanapati: Her name is January Jones , and she is the Host of the TV show American wedding ....I saw her in NYC with Josh ....She is a beauty , and must be a great lady if our boy likes her sooooo much....I saw him kiss her , and boy !!!!was I jealous !!!!!

(It should be noted that if her avatar is in fact a picture of herself, nanapati is at least 45).

LasVegasAngel: You saw him kiss her?!?!? Ugh, that would have been a punch in my stomach if I had seen it.

TiffinyKaye: Again guys...I know I'm going to get crucified for saying this (the familiar "You should be happy for them!" stuff that we all hear)...and yes, I am happy that Josh is so happy...but sorry, I'm incredibly envious. If anything, they do look happy together. I'd say we should drop the January topic, as it always feels like another stab through the heart every time I hear about her and Josh, but it'll be inevitable that this topic will be raised at least every time someone new joins the club and doesn't know who she is. Glad they're happy...

totaljoshfan: Ah, Tiffiny, I'm with you on this horrible jealousy thing going on every time I hear her name. I mean, if she were butt ugly or something that might help...

(A note could be made that totaljoshfan lists her occupation in her profile as 'Josh' Future Wife')

kickchick214: Call me a green, jealous, envious monster, but I agree with Tiffiny. Although she is really sweet (from what I've seen of her), and she has to be a wonderful person if Josh is that starry eyed over her, it is a punch in the stomach. It just feels, wierd to talk about it. *slinks off to corner*

SingingRozebud: My only concern is that she is as sweet and wholesome as he seems to be. Some of the pictures I've seen of her are...well....lets just say leaves VERY little to the imagination.

From there, the thread suddenly switches directions and these people start backpedaling, "oh, no, I don't really mean that..."

kickchick214: I don't have any dreams of ever marrying the guy, I'm not that star struck. But, I do feel awkward about talking about her. I mean, what if JanuaryLMJ (or whatever the username is) really is her, or if she surfs here sometimes? I dunno, I even feel wierd talking to my friends when their boyfriends come over, almost like I'm intruding on their privacy. Must be the traditional values thing....

totaljoshfan: To all who are concerned about my mental state, don't worry, I'm not delusional enough to actually think I'm ever going to marry Josh. I'm actually quite sane. Sometimes. Okay, rarely. But that makes life more interesting. I'm not young and naive. I'm 25, still very single, and enjoying it. I'm not ready to be in a relationship at all. And I'm totally okay with that. I'm happy for both of them, too...but come on, admit it--you're all jealous and wishing it was you, deep down inside.

Then new people enter the thread and start being weird.

oceano13: Yeah I heard that January Jones was Josh's girlfriend.... grrr that's so not fair!!! And you guys are right they would make great looking kids!! But... but... but..... *Focus, Shaina... You have a b/f..... All is well....* Okay I'm fine now!!

shooshers4: actually, in some interview or something josh said that it was casual and that it's just nice to have someone there right now....

Bostonian4Life: Even if he gets married, I'll still have hope... hehe

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So if you liked that here is today's wank de resistance... remember yehamema, the rather scary woman who happily admits she's old enough to be her idol's grandmother?

yehamema: The very first time I saw his DVD/Video with Closer...and I saw "The Dog"....well, I can tell you all "That is the FIRST time I really longed to be "a dog"...not any dog mind you...THAT DOG! Aggggghhh! Be still my heart! "Thud, Thud".

He just keeps on, keepin' on, amazing me, thrilling me, and longing to know more...more..more...about Josh Groban !

Well, I knew he loved dogs because of "Barnaby", but he really showed us more of his great character when he stopped to pet that dog. I would love to know.. was that part of the plan during the pictures?? Or was that just ONE LUCKY DOG on the beach that day?? If anyone can answer this, I would really like to know!!

And the really scary part?

iluvjosh: Ohhh yah!!!! To be the dog ..uhh huh!!!! I think that would be the only time I could get away with licking his neck!!! Really I am not obsessed, his neck just looks lick-able slurp slurp

LasVegasAngel: Yes, i'd like to be that dog too.... To feel Josh's caresses....oy vei. *stands in front of a fan to cool off*

They named the dog "Lucky".