Current mood:	sporfle!
Entry tags:	elitism, fandom: harry potter, high school girls

Brought to you by Ms. "I am a lit grad student, therefore my opinions are fact and your puny opinions must bow before them" of yesterday's HP/metaquotes wank:

ElitistAsshat

The community info:

We are the elite best of the best. We went to the Universities you wish you had gone to, we read the books you pretend to have read, we bedded the beautiful people who didn't know you existed. We are the ones you call pretentious elitists, and this is where we lay it all out on the table, every conceit and literosexual fetish, every obscure linguistic profanity and outrageous claim to intellectual fame. We know Latin plurals and understood The Wasteland. We deconstructed Harry Potter and then burned him in effigy in Central Park during our bi-annual bacchanal.

We are everything that threatens your mind in the suburban night. We are the Great and Marvelous Succubi--you hate us, but you still want us to touch you in all the naughtiest places. We are smarter than you, stronger than you, and prettier than you. We are the avant-garde, we are the eaters of souls.

Hate us and we will only grow stronger.

*sighs happily* And the posts are even better.

This wouldn't be anywhere near as funny if the community founder hadn't spent the day proving she actually believes much of this...

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	(Anonymous) 2003-12-25 09:37 am UTC (link)
	coughs loudly Satire! I will point out that we are really only a little serious about all this. --Asshat Moderator (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mydemand 2003-12-25 01:29 pm UTC (link)
	Only? raises eyebrow Saw your post about us in your own journal. And referring to this comment : it is quite humorous, in the way only 300 posts of "omg, omg, i totally can't believe these guys are for real" can be. imagine voice-over by britney spears. All I have to say is : Britney is more l33t than you. :P (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Anonymous)
2003-12-25 11:30 pm UTC (link)

If it's all satire, then why do you believe you're hot shit and brag about it to the world, then whine when no one but your friends agree with you?

The Bad: And this kills me. I was so proud of what I did, so proud of my work. And I still lost. The Labor Day Novel Contest, which I earnestly completed--that's right--a novel in 3 stinkin' days, as the Uruk-Hai would say--didn't even both to tell the other contestants who won, I had to find out by going to their site, where I discovered that once again, the accolades go to your typical mid-40s bald man who lists how fast they can drink a pint of beer on their bio. How many of these fucking Chuck Palanuik clones are there? Charming. Mine, in case you're curious, was called Yume no Hon: The Book of Dreams (because I'm so ethnocentric I write novels about Japan) and if anyone cares, I will email them the text to read. I swear to god, it was genius. But I can't chug a beer in 4 seconds, so I'm out in the cold. Not to mention that it is really too short to be published as it's own novel--the length requirement was 100 pages typewritten--so it will likely rot on my hard drive.

Unless there are any small press publishers reading this who want to print massively gorgeous literature--but who am I kidding?

I'm not bitter. I'm a misunderstood artist. And that has made all the difference.

There's satire, and then there's D-E-N-I-A-L.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mauralabingi 2003-12-26 02:46 am UTC (link)
	"...published as it's* own novel..."* If this confusion between the contraction and the possessive infests your entire Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, possibly that's why you lost. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	slashcat 2003-12-26 02:55 am UTC (link)
	Now you're just bringing LOGIC into it! For shame! <3 (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2003-12-26 02:47 am UTC (link)
	There's satire, and then there's D-E-N-I-A-L. Ah, yes. You may drink of the waters and drown your sorrows once in a while, but hear this and be warned: the waters are cursed by the ancients to be more addictive than crack. You deny this fact do you? See, you have already drunk too much from the great river. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	siegfriedwanks 2003-12-26 06:09 am UTC (link)
	Whatever else it may be, it is a h00t! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2003-12-26 04:56 pm UTC (link)
	Welcome to The Long Road, where the rejections far outnumber the acceptances! That's the world of writing. And if one does believe in the glorious worth of her work, she would find a small press publisher and submit it to them next. After all, that's what a real writer would do. But perhaps, I make too much sense. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	phosfate 2003-12-26 04:38 am UTC (link)
	Satire works better when it's funny. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	banal_o_rama 2003-12-26 05:27 am UTC (link)
	Forget funny. Try "less like the flailings of an epileptic ape". OMG ZING (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	iczer6 2003-12-26 05:54 am UTC (link)
	Wow, that would've made a lot more sense if the poster wasn't using the World's Longest Sentences. And they we're being such an asshat. (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Anonymous)
2003-12-28 10:05 am UTC (link)

Wow, it's like one of my dad's students got lose in a community or something. He's an assistant professor (read: poorly paid benefit lacking peon) and his economics class this past semester was filled with students like this.

They thought they were too intelligent to have to stay and listen to the lectures. So, they'd get up and leave after the homework was corrected. And then they thought they had too much reading to do and should have open book exams. No wonder so many of them failed.

Asshats. Our education system is producing asshats.

Caorann

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