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I'm reunited. I am the SPARK! ([info]psychofangirl) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2003-12-23 16:43:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:
Current music:tv

Look what I found! PublishAmerica
Months ago, there was some wank posted here about an author who's from publishamerica.org. I was looking for that wank because it was funny, but I couldn't find it, so I tried Google. When I tried google, I found this:

Hey all my fellow Publish America authors! Its time to speak out and defend our publisher! We need to tell folks why we chose PA, why we stand by them, why we believe in them, and why they belive in us!
Proud PA author,
Sherry A. Mauro


It's old, but there's 13 pages worth of this and quite a few gems. And "mysterywriter" spooging over PA is just hilarious! Gods!



"Publish America is setting a new standard in the publishing industry. They pride themselves on discovering new talent and giving unknown authors a chance to spread their wings and soar. They put their trust and confidence in the big league of unknown authors. Authors are the great creative force that has carried and lifted America's imagination into the new millennium." Mysterywriter (The OP)

"I received my contract from Publish America last week, and, like a dutiful author, I read it through completely. I then handed it to my brother who also read it through, and we agreed on the course of action (a rare event for us); to throw it in the garbage." Pattgavin

"I'm sorry that you decided to throw away this great opportunity. " Mysterywriter (I included this because it made me think of Amway...)

"THEY ARE TO BOOK PUBLISHING WHAT POETRY.COM IS TO POETRY." Malyze

***

Anyway, this all goes on for months and is actually a very good source of information(especially about how some publishing companies have become better at hiding their scams). But, it's here because there's still quite a bit of wank and a great read overall!



(Post a new comment)


[info]smo
2003-12-23 08:25 am UTC (link)
That Sherry Mauro character has got to be working for PA. There's no other explanation for why she'd be backing up such a blatantly asstacular publisher.

I hope.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]mydarkstar
2003-12-24 05:33 am UTC (link)
Nah, I think it's more out of gratitude - out of curiosity, I went to her website and read an excerpt from her novel, and let's just say that writers like her are the reason vanity and POD publishers exist. I've seen better work from 15-year-old Mary Sue authors.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]psychofangirl
2003-12-24 09:54 pm UTC (link)
It put me to sleep.

ZZZZZZZZ...zzzzzz...zzzzz...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-01-08 02:47 am UTC (link)
Sherry A Mauro (and may I add that I find initials pretentious) doesn't work for PA. The only work she does is work in her family's pet shop. Meaning that she didn't earn the job - she only got it because of connections.

Her novel, "Even Angels Fall", is a complete copy-off of VC Andrews' novels. Sherry actually sent me a free copy, and I'm glad because there's no way I would've paid money for that.

I actually let her know in full detail what I thought of her shoddy novel, and she never responded to the comments I sent her.

For someone twice my age, Sherry has a lot of growing up to do.

Erin Horgan
http://www.livejournal.com/~fahrigf1/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/erin_horgan/ - anti-Sherry people are most welcome :-)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]jfpbookworm
2003-12-23 08:32 am UTC (link)
What's PublishAmerica? Is it the Woodside Literary Agency of the 21st century?

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[info]eljuno
2003-12-23 08:47 am UTC (link)
Ever played that game, Maniac Mansion?

Know the "Three Guys Who Publish Anything" ad?

Same general idea. They're guys who publish anything.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ruaki
2003-12-23 09:05 am UTC (link)
Best. Comparison. Ever.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]virago
2003-12-23 03:41 pm UTC (link)
Ahhhhh, I had forgotten about them!! XD

Whew, flashback.

Anyway. I'm picturing "The League of Unknown Authors" as a steampunk comic book, and the results are prrrretty amusing.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kijikun
2003-12-24 02:15 am UTC (link)
Great comparsion, double points for good game ref.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]milochka
2003-12-23 10:47 am UTC (link)
Oh, it gets better. Page 4 is priceless -- two men (who must have some sort of history on that board) bitching at each other like Waldorf & Statler on crack.

"Dave" says: Too bad Iraq is no longer controlled by Saddam. You could have become an Assistant Information Minister with your visual and verbal abilities. ... By the way, while we're at it, how many fan letters from strangers, rather than any family members or close friends, have you received regarding your writing?

"James" shoots back: As for "fan mail", well, I guess if I wrote the equivalent of "Playboy Magazine letters to the editor" I'd probably get a lot of lonely men writing me too. Thankfully you and I have different markets.

*giggles*

(Reply to this)


[info]heyoka
2003-12-23 12:30 pm UTC (link)
Sweet. Baby. Jesus.

I went through all 13 pages. That was like driving down the highway and seeing a three-car pileup, and then coming back a couple hours later to find out it'd acquired two more cars and a semi.

Man, all it was missing was a Nazi comparison and it would have been a full house. I think markywhatever was just about to that point. ;P

(Reply to this)


[info]mariagoner
2003-12-23 02:00 pm UTC (link)
I'm not quite sure what the hell is going on... but it's all pretty funny!

(Reply to this)


[info]fearthainn
2003-12-23 08:09 pm UTC (link)
Whoa...wank synergy! I just came across the lj of a girl who was once rejected from the D/G archive I mod for because her fics were so bad (which, considering some of the stuff we aren't mean enough to reject, is saying a lot...) and said girl was actually bragging about her book on Amazon, published by none other than good ol' PA.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]psychofangirl
2003-12-23 08:15 pm UTC (link)
I bet it has a TON of great reviews, right? Hehehehe.

Oh, if you have the link, please gimmie gimmie! :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]fearthainn
2003-12-23 08:23 pm UTC (link)
Her book is here. Marvel at her 5-star review. (And I'd be willing to bet she wrote it herself, if her past behavior is anything to go by.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]eljuno
2003-12-23 08:50 pm UTC (link)
$15 for 68 pages?!?!

Jesus god...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]psychofangirl
2003-12-23 08:59 pm UTC (link)
It was just as I thought too. You can bet that the people buying those books are her friends and family. PA counts on that.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kijikun
2003-12-24 08:03 pm UTC (link)
ooo she's gotten a bad reveiw now. hehe the person didn't even want to give her one star

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2004-01-08 04:23 am UTC (link)
Hehe, I wrote that!

I noticed that my review wasn't there anymore, so I've just sent it through again.


If you're looking for an intelligent heroine, look elsewhere. This debut novel from Californian author Sherry A. Mauro appears sloppy and tedious at times, but nothing that better editing and a sharper re-write couldn't fix... or so we can only hope.

The protagonist is Sabrina Ayres, an only child with a childhood straight out of a V.C. Andrews novel – the peers that taunt her, as well as a family secret. If she had paid closer attention to the names of Charlotte Devour and Jonathon Tate, she might've stayed away from Richard Tate, but that would've been too intelligent.

Sabrina continues the VCA formula by being an outcast, who is also a straight-A student (in the beginning, until "love" comes along) and – dare I to scoff at this – "beautiful". Quite frankly, readers deserve a more personable protagonist.

Supposedly, the Ayres family is short on funds, living only on Jack Ayres's salary, but Sabrina and her mother Trisha ignore this, by selfishly and frivolously spending Jack's hard-earned money.

Another amateurish aspect is for the author to have a first-person character who also wants to be a writer. Apparently, thinking up a different occupation was too much work. There are also contradictions, such as "though I loved school" on one page, with "though I disliked school" on the very next.

Another VCA copy-off (or would you call it a "tribute"?) sees Sabrina clash with a peer, complete with taunts of inbreeding, as well as Sabrina committing an act of violence but – get this – making friends because of it. Seems as though violence is rewarded in Centreville society.

Sabrina spots wealthy Richard Tate in church, and her best friend gives her a makeover, and we can predict that people are going to notice that she's "beautiful", etc... ugh! Spare me!

The dialogue when Sabrina and Richard meet is terribly cheesy. Having Amanda Brooks explain how Richard used her to get to Sabrina is not only unoriginal, but also a pitiful attempt by the writer to get Sabrina and Richard together.

Since it's clear that Trisha Ayres's old flame was Alexander Tate, Sabrina should've noted this, as it was obvious. But intelligence is not Sabrina's strongpoint. Jack Ayres rightfully explains that Richard is bad news, but of course bubble-brained Sabrina chooses not to agree. The bubbles continue as she becomes vainer.

The first half of the novel is a long chore to read, with unappealing characters, clichéd situations, and a notable lack of originality.

The paranormal aspect begins with Sabrina "seeing a ghostly apparition". This continues to the end of the novel, but is never given a logical, believable explanation as to why, which appears sloppy and thoughtless. Richard Tate's house is blamed for deaths and disappearances, ripped from Stephen King's "ROSE RED", and possibly other novels, too.

One workman's hand is severed, and another is found facedown in the pool of Richard's house. Richard's half-sister appears suddenly, released from institutionalization, after being born a love child.

In another VCA copy-off, Sabrina is placed in a sanatorium, but this is short-lived, being released as the staff had "made a mistake". This really was poor writing by the author, especially considering how Sabrina threatens the staff – which in reality would've confirmed to the staff that she should NOT be let go.

Pettiness comes to the Tate Mansion in the form of Sabrina spraying peers with champagne. And yet another VCA copy-off sees Sabrina dressing up as someone else, with Richard and Trisha Ayres believing that she really is Catherine Tate. The story ends with Sabrina leaving the mansion for the evening.

The comparisons between this and the novels of V.C. Andrews are numerous. Sabrina could be Catherine Dollanganger, Trisha Ayres: Corrine Foxworth, Richard Tate: Tony Tatterton, Madeline Tate: Sylvia Adare, the institution could be like "MUSIC IN THE NIGHT", the final chapter is ripped from "PETALS ON THE WIND", and the prisms and stairs spell out "MY SWEET AUDRINA".

If you're looking for VCA fiction, read VCA novels. "EVEN ANGELS FALL" cannot truly be considered original.i>

Erin
http://www.livejournal.com/~fahrigf1/

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]psychofangirl
2003-12-23 08:56 pm UTC (link)
As expected, the book is expensive as hell and she sees less than a fraction of that money.

If she's as bad as you say she is, then I think she deserves to get fleeced. Oh, that was a bad thing to say, but I see PA as the easy way and that's no way to get published. Heh

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2003-12-24 02:35 am UTC (link)
Your icon is a thing of great beauty.

- vassilissa on livejournal

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]psychofangirl
2003-12-24 02:38 am UTC (link)
Thanks! I wish I made it!

[info]tviokh did! :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2003-12-23 10:12 pm UTC (link)
Showtime, Synergy!

[/Jem and the Holograms]

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kannaophelia
2003-12-24 04:12 am UTC (link)
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iczer6
2003-12-24 05:41 am UTC (link)
Sadly that image pops to mind whenever I hear the word 'Synergy'. I think I had the doll of her, a personal fave of mine because she was a purple skinned fashion doll.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kannaophelia
2003-12-24 12:02 pm UTC (link)
I never had Synergy! ~envies~ Getting Jetta at last completed my Misfits collection, though.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2003-12-24 07:38 am UTC (link)
Oh, you're definitely not alone. I used to wake up early on Sunday mornings just to watch Jem. That show was like crack to me.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dwarfjen
2003-12-26 02:41 pm UTC (link)
The other PublishAmerica wank was over on otf_wank. I'm too lazy to go find the link for it, but I do seem to recall that James came over to tell everyone off and then threatened to have the site shut down when we started quoting parts of his novel off his webpage and taking the piss. Ah, good times.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]psychofangirl
2003-12-26 06:56 pm UTC (link)
HEEEE!! I FINDZ IT! I FINDZ IT! :D

http://www.journalfen.net/community/otf_wank/7062.html


WHEEE!!!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


 
   
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