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Tiara [my demand] (mydemand) wrote in fandom_wank,
@ 2003-12-26 16:00:00

Want your own fanfic?
Gacked from tws_support in LJ; if this doesn't belong here feel free to mock me.

Your own 1500-word fanfic with anyone you like - for only $80!

o_O

(Post a new comment)

	siegfriedwanks 2003-12-26 10:19 am UTC (link)
	Er... is that legal if it is a sort of private commission only the person who orders it gets to read? (Reply to this)(Thread)

Re:

mydemand
2003-12-26 10:26 am UTC (link)

Well I did read a story in Reader's Digest about this one guy who used to set up a stall near a beach and write "novels-while-you-wait" (short stories, basically) for whoever wanted them. He didn't charge that much (probably just a few cents?) and he did it more as a hobby than for any monetary benefit. He actually met his wife this way :)

so...maybe it is technically legal, just way too expensive?

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	mariagoner 2003-12-26 11:23 am UTC (link)
	Oh my Goddess. This is on par w/ that lady who sold a CD of her stories for over $100 on EBay for sheer fuckitude factor. (Reply to this)

	mariagoner 2003-12-26 11:27 am UTC (link)
	Oh, and one more thing. At the very least, the "writer" of this ought to have given a short sample of her writing skills. Even in my wildest dreams,I'd never pay $80 for a iiitsy-bitsy lil short story without having someone that writes like Vladimir Fraggin' Nabokov doing it. (Reply to this)(Thread)

mooncalf
2003-12-26 12:02 pm UTC (link)

Well, considering that she uses multiple question marks, multiple exclamation points, and the dreaded 'hehehe' on her site... uh... maybe that's all the writing sample we need.

But. Seriously. $80 for 1500 words?! Hell, I just finished doing a short-fic-by-request meme on my LiveJournal, in which I wrote fics to order for anyone with the ability to type out a request for free, and several of those hit close to a thousand words just by themselves. And I'll write porn.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: damn, why didn't I think of this first? Oh, wait. Because I would have had to write someone else's Mary Sue for them. I'm a whore, but I'm not that kind of whore.

(And okay, so maybe right now this is more cheesy than properly wanky, but let's keep an eye on that guestbook, because what with the 'uhhh... interesting' post and the first outright flame already in there, the wank may yet come, yes it may.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

rann, 2003-12-26 08:36 pm UTC

	franny 2003-12-26 03:15 pm UTC (link)
	Funniest part is, there is a link there called "Fiction," which I assumed would have the writing samples. When I clicked on it I got a 404. There's some kind of message there, I think.... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

arabella, 2003-12-26 08:04 pm UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-12-27 12:08 am UTC

arabella, 2003-12-27 06:28 am UTC

misswindy, 2003-12-28 03:40 am UTC

arabella, 2003-12-28 05:24 am UTC

misswindy, 2003-12-28 05:43 am UTC

arabella, 2003-12-28 05:51 am UTC

ladymalen, 2003-12-28 07:19 am UTC

phosfate, 2003-12-30 04:57 pm UTC

misswindy, 2003-12-31 01:24 am UTC

	kyuuketsukirui 2003-12-26 11:50 am UTC (link)
	For those too lazy to write their own Mary Sue... (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gairid 2003-12-26 02:14 pm UTC (link)
	"For those too lazy to write their own Mary Sue..." ...and who enjoy setting money on fire because they have so much of it to toss around. And no porn? WhatEVER! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mariagoner, 2003-12-26 04:03 pm UTC

soy_latte, 2003-12-26 05:42 pm UTC

darkrose, 2003-12-26 06:13 pm UTC

smo, 2003-12-26 10:00 pm UTC

	ingrid 2003-12-26 06:26 pm UTC (link)
	I like how she hints that she's going to raise that bargain basement price Any Day Now. shakes head If she makes a dime from this, there is no God. (Reply to this)

	sarajayechan 2003-12-26 07:12 pm UTC (link)
	CHOKE For a FANFIC?! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	iris 2003-12-28 01:45 am UTC (link)
	snugs your icon Mmm. Suboshi. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

sarajayechan, 2003-12-28 11:27 pm UTC

	wizzard 2003-12-26 08:39 pm UTC (link)
	She's part of a real vampire support ring. Ha ha ha! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2003-12-27 12:11 am UTC (link)
	Says it all, really. Fantastic! (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Anonymous)
2003-12-27 12:05 am UTC (link)

If, for instance, you like Aaron Carter because you think he's sweet, I won't turn him into a psycho, but rather write a story where he's sweet!

I had to read that sentence three times before it made sense, but maybe the eggnog I'm drinking is doing things to my head. I guess it means she won't, uh, canon rape Aaron Carter? (but how does she know? I think he has mob connections, but that's just me) I'm really tempted to send in a really bizare request too...I dunno, something involving fetishes and old men slash ^.^; maybe her head will explode. But it's probably not worth the $80, considering she won't write porn.
What about shounen-ai? She doesn't say anything about that. ^_^

(Reply to this)

	ataniell93 2003-12-27 12:29 am UTC (link)
	Isn't paying someone to write your Mary Sue a lot like paying someone to masturbate you? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	eljuno 2003-12-27 01:01 am UTC (link)
	paying someone to masturbate you? Sounds like a good idea to me, depending on who I'm paying. I mean, isn't that basically a handjob? Or...why isn't there a good female equivalent of handjob? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

mariagoner, 2003-12-27 08:49 am UTC

pyratejenni, 2003-12-27 06:52 pm UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-12-29 04:30 am UTC

mariagoner, 2004-01-01 08:58 am UTC

phosfate, 2003-12-30 04:59 pm UTC

banal_o_rama, 2003-12-27 02:23 am UTC

mariagoner, 2003-12-28 04:40 am UTC

ladymalen, 2003-12-27 06:48 am UTC

	c_chan 2003-12-27 04:09 am UTC (link)
	I saw this and laughed so hard I think I broke something. Man, like everyone else said - If I want to write a Mary-Sue (which I DON'T, kthnx), I'll write it by my god-damned self. I don't need some grammar-lacking 24-year-old doing it for me. ESPECIALLY if it's $80 for 1500 words. (Reply to this)

	psychofangirl 2003-12-27 04:44 am UTC (link)
	Has anyone been checking her guestbook? Just wondering. (Reply to this)(Thread)

crickets, 2003-12-27 07:00 am UTC

psychofangirl, 2003-12-27 10:23 pm UTC

	ladymalen 2003-12-27 06:49 am UTC (link)
	Just when you think fandom can't get any more pathetic..... We should use this as a barometer for removing people from the gene-pool. If you're stupid enough to buy this, we get to take away reproductive organs! (Reply to this)(Thread)

mariagoner, 2003-12-27 09:00 am UTC

ladymalen, 2003-12-28 12:18 am UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-12-30 06:21 am UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2003-12-30 06:22 am UTC

phosfate, 2003-12-30 05:02 pm UTC

Re: -

ladymalen, 2004-01-01 02:49 pm UTC

	afrai 2003-12-27 07:25 am UTC (link)
	o_O God, that's so sad. But I've heard of this one before, actually. See? But at least this one's cheaper. Also, porn! (Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: -

mydemand, 2003-12-27 07:47 am UTC

	beccastareyes 2003-12-27 07:58 am UTC (link)
	May I suggest a Mad Libs book? It would be cheaper and probably as good as some of the romance and/or humor and/or angst and/or AU fics on the Pit of Voles. (Reply to this)

	Awww.... pyratejenni 2003-12-27 06:55 pm UTC (link)
	I think she may have taken down her guestbook. (Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Awww.... - (Anonymous), 2003-12-28 12:48 am UTC

thanatos, 2004-01-06 01:42 am UTC

Maybe I'm Just Overly Capitalist, but...

misswindy
2003-12-28 03:47 am UTC (link)

Did anyone else read that and (after wiping away the tears of laughter) think, By God, I've been in the wrong business this whole time! ???

ATTENTION: NEW BIDNEZ ANNOUNCEMENT

Have you ever wished you could grope a celebrity? Well, act now, and for the low, low price of $47, if you e-mail me a picture of yourself and another picture of the Actor/ Singer/ Fandom Celebrity Of Your Choice with his/her arm around a supermodel/ porn star/ C-rate WB actress/ Christina Aguilera, I will badly photoshop your head onto Xtina's body!

Hurry up and PayPal me some money, bitches, because I'm going to be ~~paying my phone bill~~ charging more any minute now!

(Reply to this)

	darqstar 2003-12-28 11:36 pm UTC (link)
	I have this vision in my head... that this girl has taken two old romance stories from her mother's collection of rag mags... typed them into her computer. If you order a story, she just changes the names and prints them up. For some reason, this vision is haunting me... and it probably will forever. (Reply to this)

redmoose
2003-12-29 03:03 am UTC (link)

*looks at brand new 450 page (nevermind how many words) hardback book*

Hrm. $24.95, minus the 20% discount from the after Christmas sale. Oh hell, give it the full $24.95. Sure, it doesn't have my name in it but I wouldn't even pay $80 to have my name put into a 450 trashy romance novel.

And she really thinks she'll get someone, anyone, to pay $80 for 1,500 words? That has to be a typo. Not that I'd pay $8, but that'd at least be... I don't even know.

(Reply to this)

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