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	morganya 2003-04-02 09:09 am UTC (link)
	How would you like it if I told you one day that your spouse/lover had been brutally murdered and all that was left of his corpse was the bloody remains of his genitals?! Why, I suppose I'd boil some water for soup. I had to eat it his way all those years, now I'll eat it my way. Yes, I know. Old, old joke. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	sorchar 2003-04-02 06:55 pm UTC (link)
	AHAHAHA Old, but good. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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madmouth, 2003-04-03 02:07 am UTC

Re: -

sorchar, 2003-04-03 02:32 am UTC

	telesilla 2003-04-02 09:40 am UTC (link)
	And a most excellent wank it was too! And while your at it why don't you also realize that you are incapable of the realization of anything? That there is no absolute. That everything is only an assumption, and that the human mind is really incapable of thought. Uh yeah ... right. (Reply to this)

	soy_latte 2003-04-02 10:17 am UTC (link)
	The best part of April Fools isn't how funny the joke/prank is, it's the hilarity of how people react to it. (Reply to this)

madamotaku
2003-04-02 10:55 am UTC (link)

Wow, that's the third LJ April Fool's joke I've read about tonight that turned sour. Gee, guess people really aren't in a "Ha, ha, you got me!" mood these days...and who can blame them? But I think all this "How DARE you, you vile person!" bile being spewed all over LJ is unwarranted.

Or maybe all these jokesters really are insensitive bastards and I'm just too jaded and soulless to sympathize with people who've had their widdle emotions toyed with momentarily in the name of a silly tradition (a very strong possibility).

(Reply to this)

	silverthoughts 2003-04-02 12:16 pm UTC (link)
	Argh! You beat me to it! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	kyuuketsukirui 2003-04-02 07:51 pm UTC (link)
	Mwahaha! Grace (Reply to this)(Parent)

	gairid 2003-04-02 01:27 pm UTC (link)
	Wow! Wankable on so many levels! Truly lame April Fools "joke". The comments that follow are absolute gems, though, as are the so-called prankster's answers/justifications. I think my favorite comment is the one that repeatedly calls the original poster a shore and a slut. How does putting up a really stupid joke make one a slut? goes back to read again (Reply to this)(Thread)

	sagralisse 2003-04-02 07:21 pm UTC (link)
	Gah! See, that's why I don't do those kinds of jokes. I don't want people calling me a shore. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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kimera, 2003-04-02 10:02 pm UTC

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sagralisse, 2003-04-02 10:04 pm UTC

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cesare, 2003-04-03 01:02 am UTC

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madmouth, 2003-04-03 02:08 am UTC

	dawnjosephine 2003-04-02 02:09 pm UTC (link)
	Naturally, my internet connection would choose April Fool's to screw up. grumbles Ah well, at least I can catch up on some of the drama thanks to f_w. (Reply to this)

mirabellawotr
2003-04-02 02:50 pm UTC (link)

What happens if someone who actually LOVED her saw this and didn't bother to check the replies or news sources, but just ended their life?

Hey, that isn't funny. My cousin's boss' ex-boyfriend KILLED HIMSELF after reading on DL that Elijah had been imprisoned in the vast Sekrit PR Penal Colony below the Arctic Circle along with Rupert Everett and Jonathan Taylor Thomas!

Isn't there a name for this? Reductum ad absurdio or something? No, wait, I think that means making someone else's argument sound really stupid, not making one of your own that's about fifty light-years past the stupidity horizon and picking up speed.

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	cimorene111 2003-04-02 04:20 pm UTC (link)
	Like Oh my god! I cried because of what you said! I didn't know people could be as inconsiderate as you. Don't you care about MY feelings, or the feelings of others you could have crushed? that was pretty priceless too. oh! goddammit, you're RIGHT! i forgot that it's my responsibility to feel personal empathy with every other human being alive. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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madmouth, 2003-04-03 02:09 am UTC

esorlehcar
2003-04-02 06:19 pm UTC (link)

My cousin's boss' ex-boyfriend KILLED HIMSELF after reading on DL that Elijah had been imprisoned in the vast Sekrit PR Penal Colony below the Arctic Circle along with Rupert Everett and Jonathan Taylor Thomas!

Oh, yeah? Well, my mailman's yoga instructor's second wife went mad with grief and became a cannabalistsic serial killer after reading that Elijah disappeared because Dom got him pregnant.

Top THAT.

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sagralisse, 2003-04-02 07:23 pm UTC

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esorlehcar, 2003-04-02 07:25 pm UTC

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kyuuketsukirui, 2003-04-02 09:00 pm UTC

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sagralisse, 2003-04-02 11:01 pm UTC

	mireille 2003-04-02 02:59 pm UTC (link)
	What happens if someone who actually LOVED her saw this and didn't bother to check the replies or news sources, but just ended their life? Oh dear god. Yes, because CZJ's nearest and dearest regularly get their information about her well-being from LJ. (Reply to this)

	phosfate 2003-04-02 04:50 pm UTC (link)
	Ehehehehehehehheheeeeee... (Reply to this)

girl_friday
2003-04-02 05:20 pm UTC (link)

"You know why it's not funny? Because dying during childbirth is a TRAGEDY. So fucking what if people die every day!?! My first child was born over 2 mos early, and I died on the table during her birth. Only by sheer luck and medical skill were they able to save me and my daughter."

I thought that was a joke, not a quote. This woman is kidding, right? She obviously wasn't DEAD dead, or she wouldn't be typin away on LJ. Crazy ass people.

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	kyuuketsukirui 2003-04-02 07:53 pm UTC (link)
	Haven't you ever heard of zombies? Guh. Grace (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

"We're losing him! Oh, I love this episode." -

phosfate, 2003-04-02 08:54 pm UTC

Re: "We're losing him! Oh, I love this episode." -

kyuuketsukirui, 2003-04-02 08:58 pm UTC

Re: "We're losing him! Oh, I love this episode." -

phosfate, 2003-04-02 09:00 pm UTC

Re: "We're losing him! Oh, I love this episode." -

sweetle, 2003-04-03 02:05 am UTC

Re: "We're losing him! Oh, I love this episode." -

phosfate, 2003-04-03 07:08 pm UTC

hitwoman
2003-04-03 02:22 am UTC (link)

Actually, she (the poster)did die on the table, but doctors were able to revive her. Her daughter's life was also on the line because she was so very premature, and she (the baby) was in the hospital for the first either six or eight months of her life.

(Sorry. Hate to bring the serious in, but I know that particular person, and I understand why she didn't see the funny.)

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girl_friday, 2003-04-03 02:44 am UTC

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hitwoman, 2003-04-03 05:26 am UTC

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girl_friday, 2003-04-03 05:36 am UTC

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hitwoman, 2003-04-03 05:39 am UTC

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girl_friday, 2003-04-03 05:45 am UTC

wizzard
2003-04-02 06:15 pm UTC (link)

And what the hell is with the ugly smiley things? All o.o! and *.*! and o.O! They are dumb. They aren't even cute. They don't even fit with what you're saying. What is the obsession with putting them everywhere? And why to you /put slashes in front of some things/ and italicize others?

I love how this girl takes the opportunity to trash her on something completely unrelated to the joke. She also brought up how she thought her opinions on Cabaret sucked. Nothing like an April Fools Day to provide justifications for bringing up buried resentments.

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	snacky 2003-04-02 06:35 pm UTC (link)
	The smiley things bitchout was my favorite part of the wank. Beautiful. It brought a tear to my eye. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	hugsnkisses 2003-04-02 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	Dude, don't joke about that. My sister once died because one of those smilies ATE HER BRAIN. It's just not funny. o.O (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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sagralisse, 2003-04-02 11:02 pm UTC

sorchar
2003-04-02 06:59 pm UTC (link)

Two years ago, the girls who ran the Poetry In Motion website, which was a fansite for Matt and Jeff Hardy, did something similar to this, saying that the boys had been in a car accident.

Unfortunately, it was a poorly-timed joke sinec Wrestlemania happened to be on April Fool's Day that year and when the boys actually showed up for their match it was pretty obvious that the "report" had been a joke.

Nonetheless, the hordes of rabid teenie fangirls were shrieking for blood. It was beautiful.

(Reply to this)

No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but...

oxydosic
2003-04-02 07:08 pm UTC (link)

I agree with the complainers on LJ, to an extent. I don't find that a funny joke at all. Probably because i have been in a situation close to this. I nearly died due to a very serious disease i developed during my pregnancy. My daughter had to be delivered 3 months prematurely and was gravely ill for months herself before she pulled through. So, sorry if it makes me a stick in the mud, but i don't find that joke the least bit funny. You have NO idea until you've been in that situation.

And for those who question the woman who said she died during a birthing problem..yes, you can be clinically dead and be brought back. Belittling her experience or calling it a lie is just wrong.

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Re: No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but... -

sagralisse, 2003-04-02 07:31 pm UTC

Re: No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but... -

kyuuketsukirui, 2003-04-02 07:57 pm UTC

Re: No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but... -

mireille, 2003-04-02 08:15 pm UTC

Re: No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but... -

kyuuketsukirui, 2003-04-02 09:58 pm UTC

Re: No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but... -

mireille, 2003-04-02 10:51 pm UTC

Re: No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but... -

chaya, 2003-04-02 08:32 pm UTC

Re: No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but... -

phosfate, 2003-04-02 08:51 pm UTC

Re: No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but... -

kimera, 2003-04-02 10:05 pm UTC

Re: No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but... -

phosfate, 2003-04-02 10:09 pm UTC

Re: No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but... -

kimera, 2003-04-02 10:23 pm UTC

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mauralabingi, 2003-04-03 12:14 am UTC

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phosfate, 2003-04-03 12:19 am UTC

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chaya, 2003-04-03 04:28 pm UTC

Re: No doubt i'll be told to lighten up but... -

hitwoman, 2003-04-03 02:26 am UTC

	madmouth 2003-04-03 02:00 am UTC (link)
	"that's not funny, bitch! die, whore! blasphemer! terrorist!" christ, would they shut UP? (Reply to this)

	sajasma 2003-04-03 05:08 am UTC (link)
	Pheh. While I understand how many people would not find the "joke" funny, I guess morbid humor runs in my family. My sister called my other sister once and told her that I died, as a joke. And - HA! - wasn't even April Fools! When I heard, I just laughed my ass off. Whee! (Reply to this)