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Porn Purveyor (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} darkrose) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} fandom_wank,@ 2003-12-30 16:18:00 |
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| Current mood: | Deeply Amused |
I do believe in wanking! I do! I do!
N.B.: I have to confess to having participated in this wankery, but given the sheer volume of spooge, I don't think my participation is at a high enough level to make this go to i_wank.
It never would have occurred to me that Peter Pan would create wank even by IMDB standards. I'm not even sure where to start...
The first splurts came before the movie was released, with questions of why it was being made at all and gratuitous jokes about Michael Jackson. Then the partisans of Spielberg's Hook chimed in:
Hook is an amazing cinematic achievement. From the looks of the trailers......Peter Pan's production design will have nothing on Hook. I've heard some of you fools complain it wasn't a good kids movie because it took an hour to get to Neverland. Do you have to be spoon-fed everything in life from the start? Are you the same ignorant viewer that watches a dvd for the first time with director's commentary on, so they understand the plot better? Ignorant fools that expect the wrong things from a film, ruin it for everyone else just for being stupid people. Hook is a bad ass film, one of Spielberg's finest. I don't think Peter Pan will come close.........for one thing Dustin Hoffman played the ultimate Cpt. Hook.
And my personal favorite quote from the entire wank:
So, in conclusion, Hook is one of the most spectacular, heart-wrenching drama action adventures ever (with heavy emphasis on DRAMA...sniffle). It has the fun of Harry Potter mixed with the drama of Schindler's List and the action of the Matrix/LOTR...and this new PETER PAN movie will have a tough time topping this magnum opus of joy, love, truth and dreams.
That's right, folks! Hook is just like Schindler's List!
When the film opened last week, many were shocked by the "sexual tension" between Peter and Wendy--because ya know, teenagers never have crushes:
What was with all the sexuality in this movie?? There is the joke in the beginning with Wendy's drawing, then John and Michael are exposed to Tiger Lily, then John and Tiger Lily have a very passionate kiss, THEN Peter and Wendy have a very passionate kiss, which makes Peter turn pink and fly around like crazy. And the whole time Peter and Wendy are together, it looks like they want to... do something that would not get by the PG rating. The movie just felt... wrong.
A side thread developed when someone asked if those folks who thought Jeremy Sumpter was hot "felt like pedophiles." Someone correctly pointed out that a pedophile is someone who is sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children, and Jeremy definitely doesn't fall into that category. In response, posters were warned that:
Just to warn you folks before you reply. This thread has been featured in a thread of discussion on a pedophile Chat board called BoyChat.
The posters on that board are pedophiles who go there to discuss their sexual attraction to boys with others who are sexually attracted to boys. The poster You should be careful about fellow posters who sound like pedophile apologists. Chances are they come from BoyChat and are here for what they consider a cause.
That cause being allowing adults to have sexual relationships with children.
They are finding this thread amusing.
Thought you should be warned before you proceed with further posts to it.
But wait! There's more! Apparently the fact that Jeremy Sumpter is an American is part of the Great Hollywood Conspiracy to oppress British actors, even though the film was shot in Australia by an Australian director:
Peter Pan is a British-authored novel, yet I don't care too much about who plays the characters, just so long as the characters from London have perfect accents. It seems to be acceptable for American actors to play any number of characters who are English, German etc, and yet it would seem totally strange, and there would be outrage, if you had a couple of Englishmen and some Germans playing people from New York and California. People would ask "what's the point, what's wrong with our decent American actors?" That's the double-standard of Hollywood.
As long as they do a good job I don't care too much. The real reason why I might be annoyed some, is because us Brits write the best books, and yet get negelected in Hollywood; the books to movies are a great chance - in some actors' cases the only chance - of being in a blockbuster film, whereas American children and adult actors will have far more scope and chance to achieve this.
And after being out for less than a week, the film has already been decreed "a flop."
Me, I'll just sit over here and write my Panslash and drool over a shirtless Jason Isaacs.
ETA: Apparently, that's also a problem:
Ok I know Jeremy Sumpter is hot and all, but come on...No offense, but do you really think you are ever going to meet him or anything? I mean you should be focusing on guys that you can actually see almost everyday instead of someone who you only read about and look at their pictures...Not to be rude, but some of you guys are just way to ga-ga over actors...
Obviously, someone who is not familiar with the tinhats. *adjusts tin baseball hat of Jason/Liam OTP*
ETA2: Another twist in the pedophile thread: Jeremy Sumpter must be gay!
Jeremy Sumpter seems gay. In every interview i've seen him in, he has a lisp, and even in the movie, he and hook seem to have some kind of weird sexual relationship. I thought it was really weird. And he didn't love Wendy! I would have
How on earth could anyone think there wasn't slash fodder for days was anything odd about the vibes between Hook and Pan? Only all of my friends perverts would have such filthy thoughts!
