Do Orcs have belly Buttons?
I think I found the motherload of wank and idiocy, aka The yahoo movie boards. There isn't a Kate Bosworth thread out there that doesn't eventually devolve into teenies calling for Orlando to 'dump the anorexic skank' and date meeeeeeee!

But for scary proof that anyone can get online these days I bring The LotR board. Keep in mind that this board's second message claimed there will be a LotR 4: Revenge of the Ring. Not everyone got that it was a joke.

The board is pretty wanky anyway, but goes completely OT when someone wonders how Orcs reproduce, or *something* Someone else, *cough*sockpuppet*cough*, jumps in to ask if Adam and Eve had belly buttons. This spawns a flame war that manages to touch upon Creationism, Hitler, Freemasons, with enough idiotic detours to make Clark Griswold happy and is hilarious to anyone who actually took a science class outside of Alabama.


On religion:
Why do Orcs have belly buttons? Unfortunately the first post has been purged but the replies, a psuedo-scientific debate to prove creationism:

I want proof! Darwin recanted (or revised evolution under pressure) so I'm right!

So r637c offers up some data: blah blah blah isotopes *yawn*

That's not proof! No one can actually observe an isotope decay in their lifetime! (and who'd want to?) IT ISN'T REAL:
"Since when can science observe, in real time, the half life of any isotope? "Constructing a plot" is not observing and measuring.
This is an example of worshipping science."

But fortunately when Science makes too much sense we have...prophesy? Yup, that's the brand being sold, and when all else fails, just start quoting biblical passages.

Interestingly, while atcchris doesn't believe in carbon dating to prove evolution, he does believe in it to prove events in the bible actually occurred. The irony is completely lost on him.

And why stop when you're on a roll? Christians are persecuted because what they believe in is right, Jews were persecuted because they're a different race and Muslims are persecuted because...they deserve it. Or something like that .

And the debate displays an amazing grasp of other cultures:
because it's the only one that can be proven a historical fact. Jesus did exsist. Can't say that about Mohommad, Budda, Mooses, or Vodo guy.

In the "Oh God, please stay off my side" category:
Jesus existed but wasn't God's son because: "People exagerate things my friend. People believed anything back then" and this gem "The third age....where middle earth has it's final battle..maybe this third century will be the last battle of our Earth's war between good (c) and bad (m)"

Ah, yes, almost forgot, this WAS a LotR message board

which board regulars keep trying to remind everyone

It starts nicely: The subject of this board is RoTK. If you're not here to discuss the movie then piss off.

but quickly devolves
For the love of all that you people believe in, DROP THIS DAMN SUBJECT OR GET THE FUCK OFF THE BOARD!!!!!!!!!!
Jesus child-raping Christ! Go to the "Pasion" board or somewhere else and talk about this shit!

You're like a messageboard cancer. Every time you come along a board devolves into stupid sideshow bickering.

You're like the uninvited party-goer who doesn't take a hint that everyone wants him to leave and crawl behind the wheel of his car and drive into a lake.

As you might imagine, the regulars on the board are quite fed up. What's one to do? Use the ignore option, of course! Only it's no fun being left out, and a whole series of I CAN'T HEAR YOU! NYAH! NYAH! NYAH! Posts ensue. And get flamed.

meanwhile, on the front lines, the fen continue to share their views:
On History:
American Revolutionary war..caused..by opperssion and terrony. American Civil War, caused by states rights. French revolutions, caused by class envy. WWI and WWII caused by Hitler's lust and desirer for an New World Order (being a Freemason..will cause you to have a demented out look on life). Korea and Vietnam..Cold War..fight against oppression from Comdunists, who were againt human rights. Just to name a few. I sense a lot of anger and shame in him, I guess mom and dad abused him.

The First two Crusades..well..they needed that because the Muslims where invading most of Eastern and Western Europe..so that was a nessecitity..That's it..what other wars were started by Chrisianity...None..Learn your western civ first before you start making outragous claims.

But Wait!
She's not done:
First of all Jack Ass you don't know anything about history. Hitler was not Christian, he was a self hating Jew..if knew anything about history you would of known that. His father was Jew and left his family for another woman. Hitler was also a freemason, along with the founder of the KKK, their persecutions of Jews were not brought around for religious reseason, it was for finacial reason. Hitler believed in a fascits society..and if you remember they killed both Jew and Christians. But for some reason, the millions of Christians that were killed and yes there were millions Christians killed in those concentration camps (documented fact). But for some reason only Jews were mention..and lets not forget, it was the western Christian Country that came to the Jews aid.. So don't force that bull shit down our throat. So no, WWI and WWII were not brought on by a religious bias. Second the Crusades were brought on by Muslims slaughter Christians..they were in France, Spain, German, and Italy. Yes the Pope did call for a war to reclaim the holy lands..but that was to unite the people against theose ass hole bastard Muslims..that to this day go around and kill people. And as far as Bosinia..the Christian Serbs were fighting against the Muslims because they murdering Christians in order to appease their reglious leader..as they are in the middle east!! Learn your history jack ass!!!

Excellent. Let the flame war begin!
Oh, we're resorting to name calling now? Well, monkey nuts, I do study history. Hitler was NOT a freemason. and so on. I think I love this poster.

[sic] You're a freemason (this goes on for a bit. Apparently someone was traumatized by the tiny cars in the shriners parade)

On Sex:
You are not one to talk about being a good Christian..which I never said i was a good one to begin with. But where in the bible does it say take in the ass.

On Race:
This poetic movie resembles the battle the White Race has to fight in order for it to survive. We too have the evil mud races swamping our nations and if our people dont wake up soon we will be destroyed as the the White Race. Only when we our people wake up from self-imposed liberal self-destruction will we be able to survive. Since world war 2 every White Nation is being invaded by the worlds 5 billion non-white populous and it's being done be a Jewish elite who want total domination and only our people can stop them. Evil verse good and at the moment evil is winning. But not for long.

ok rodney king! tell me where you live so i can beat the shit out of you the day after xmas!
holly jolly! mahawawawaawawa!!
you fuckin gimp!

whats EOM?
and R U RACIST OR SOMETHING DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS BLACK!!!

And Oh, yeah, in case you forgot, it is a LOTR message board:

On the LotR Actors:
Viggo: My guess is hes retarded and his views on polotics are irrelevant =) Just stick to acting Viggo if your smart.

And so from creationism to freemasonry, there you have it. But is it enough to shut them up? No! Of course not! (not going to bother linking these; they start around 10300 and go well past 10800. Highlights:

go suck on your momdalfs tits cum sucker!
profile is massage therapist hahahahaha just be honest and say dick sucker!
suck me bitch suck me bitch !!

Are you a "prison bitch"?
If so, get back in the shower. A really old guy with a really long schlong wants use your mouth as a Drive-In.
Enjoy it...there's a whole bunch more where than "came" from!!

oooo prison bitch ? hahahahhahaha is that the best your mommy could come up with.
tell her to buy some fuckin perfume for her twat so she can spray it down before you eat her out and lick my jizim !

Etc. etc. etc.

The final word goes to:
You just said you were going to drop it. I just got here and I'm always up for these type of debates. Normally I wouldn't do it on a LOTR board but this is the YAHOO LOTR board where most people are ignorant.