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	rann 2004-01-15 07:09 am UTC (link)
	It's never a good idea to ask for those opinions. You sometimes wind up actually getting them. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	sagralisse 2004-01-15 08:17 pm UTC (link)
	I had that same thought. ::bangs on tin hat:: This thing is acting strange today. (Reply to this)(Parent)

sagralisse
2004-01-15 08:26 pm UTC (link)

Purplesmurf, this is you, right?

As someone who no longer has anything left to lose, let me be brutally honest here.

I once lived at this board. I credit it with saving my life in the rather literal sense of the word -- as someone who suffers severe depression, this board gave me hope. It gave me friendship, and it kept me from killing myself several times over.

However, for well over a year now I haven’t set foot here, because the backstabbing, bitching and utter hypocrisy demonstrated by all too many of the people who frequent this place drove me away. The hypocrisy demonstrated towards the characters, and also towards fandom and each other.

Buffy/Spike not a healthy relationship? Does the term “Angelus” ring any bells, persay? Or maybe “stalking and killing her friends, and torturing her watcher”? Maybe he was soulless at the time, but so. was. Spike. Maybe DB acts with sufficient difference between Angelus and Angel, but it took Angel a good century to get to that point. It’s all about glass houses. I may be a B/A shipper to the end, but at least I can see that.

Yes, I was the one who posted this to fandom_wank. What I said was far less harsh than what an outsider would have said, and I’m aware that I’m just perpetuating said wank by posting this. But I think I’ve managed to develop enough perspective on fandom in general now to be able to step back and tell everyone (including myself) to just get the fuck over it.

And let me just say that I never thought that I’d be saying those words.

I'll always treasure this board for some tarnished memories, but mostly for giving me some friendships that will last the test of time -- despite this post.

'Cause, damn. Have you ever heard of police-assisted suicide? This looks just like it, only with f_w instead of the police. And mock instead of bullets.

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rann
2004-01-15 08:52 pm UTC (link)

'Cause, damn. Have you ever heard of police-assisted suicide? This looks just like it, only with f_w instead of the police. And mock instead of bullets.

I dunno. I'm torn on this. When I start seeing stuff like: yes, I can't bring myself to be more specific over people I consider friends... probably soon to be ex-friends..., it makes me start wondering. How can they be considered friends if you are willing to toss them up in front of strangers to be mocked?
Yeah, I know, everyone always says "Well, it's good to inform people when they get wanky, and it's all in good fun". And I think with a portion of F_Wers, it is all in good fun. But not all, though. There are some who are going to be cruel, and mean, because in any sufficiently large group there's gonna be people with different takes on things.
I've seen more than one post where people said they expected to lose friends over reporting wank. I mean, what's that about? Either they're not really friends anymore because you don't care, or you value getting comments from a F_W post more than friends, which damn, just ain't right.
*sigh* I know this is probably me being wanky again, after all this, but I just don't know about some of this anymore. A lot of F_Wers seem more and more eager to breed all the hostility that they can, and don't care where it's aimed. Maybe it's always been like that and I'm only noticing it since it's been turned on me and brought to my attention that apparently, people hate me. Or maybe that's just how I'm feeling because I'm frustrated and tired and kind of hurt, and have been wanking and getting wanked more than is healthy. ... Heh.
I guess... I dunno. This is probably just setting myself up for more mockery anyway, but I wish people would just continue to view this place as a community for entertainment, rather than something worth more than friends.

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sagralisse
2004-01-15 09:58 pm UTC (link)

It made me think of the suicide-by-cop thing because it was meant to be self-destructive. I don't mean to come off like an amateur psychologist or anything, but sometimes people just want to do that big dramatic scene that'll kill off all their friendships. Like, once that's done then they don't have to worry about what they should do to salvage anything because it'll all be over. Social suicide... or pseudocide.

The thing is, when I looked at the thread there seemed to be a lot of people trying to fix whatever problems there were between them. And some signs that maybe some folks are a leeetle too dependant on a single message board and might ought to branch out. And some of the obsession over ships and stuff that's just a part of being in a fandom. And some ranting and wanking. But mostly my heart went out to the people who were trying to fix a community that they greatly value. I don't much feel like mocking it, especially since it's like purple is trying to use f_w to make things worse.

I like our community better during those times when we aren't afraid to be nice or compassionate or thoughtful when the mood strikes us. And when we try to... not exactly sure how to put it, but to exaggerate someone's wankiness or demonize them just gets shrill and boring. Which is okay if that's what most everyone wants to do. I can go do LOTR stuff if I don't want to play. But those "You're are wanking! Admit it! You're a wanking wanker!" posts don't give me the same thrill as when one of the really funny people in this community makes me look at something a whole different way and makes me laugh out loud.

And on another note, more people hate me than hate you so nyah nyah.

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Re:

rann
2004-01-15 10:07 pm UTC (link)

I like our community better during those times when we aren't afraid to be nice or compassionate or thoughtful when the mood strikes us. And when we try to... not exactly sure how to put it, but to exaggerate someone's wankiness or demonize them just gets shrill and boring.

Yeah, I feel the same way. It's like the difference between Monty Python and, say, Michael Moore/Rush Limbaugh. Monty Python puts a sort of silly, almost good-natured spin on everything they mock, from Arthurian legends to pet stores to the story of Jesus Christ. They're quite obviously mocking some things, but doing it with such lightheartedness and good nature that it's obvious there's no malice behind it. Whereas the others are just disguising vindictiveness and anger with a thin vinire of comedy.

And on another note, more people hate me than hate you so nyah nyah.

Gimme time, gimme time. Heheh.
I've been considering some good advice Icz gave me and thinking of taking a break from F_W. It is good advice, but then damn it all if I haven't been having FUN today commenting and joking around with people in the threads. Damn you, fun!

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	Two Cents iczer6 2004-01-15 10:30 pm UTC (link)
	My view I think one issue is that we seem to have some members that forget what F_W is about. Part of it is personal axe grinding and I think another part of it is people using F_W as a way to 'get back' at those they don't like. That's not really what we're supposed to be about. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Two Cents

kannaophelia
2004-01-17 05:02 am UTC (link)

Right with you, babe. Some people seem determined to use this to be as spiteful as possible... and it's not what it's about, and it's not what I mean when I praise this place. At it's best, f_w is *healthy* for fandom, as well as a lot of fun. I wish some people would remember that it's not meant to be a place to vent spite.

None of which is aimed at the OP, because I don't know much about it, just at something that happens here sometimes. But still... mostly f_w is what it was when I first joined way back in the early days of its existence on LJ, an irreverent answer to the

metablog

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Well, I just enjoy this place..

wankprophet
2004-01-16 03:14 am UTC (link)

I've actually found myself justifying my presence of F_W to a person who was friends with a recent wanker, and pointed out that, when F_W is on the ball, it's about having fun. Fandom is often annoying and idiotic...so I come here to enjoy the mocking, most of which is good-humored. Pointed, but not malicious.

And I like both of ya'll, rann and sagralisse Deal with it, okay?!?

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	sagralisse 2004-01-16 04:33 am UTC (link)
	And I like both of ya'll, rann and sagralisse Deal with it, okay?!? Noooo!!! I can't deal with it! Being liked freaks me out! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	wankprophet 2004-01-16 10:36 am UTC (link)
	::sits back, watches the totally wanky freak-out, and smiles adoringly:: (Reply to this)(Parent)