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Irony ([info]isntitironic) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-01-21 11:11:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Flippant
Current music:Si Volvieras a Mi
Entry tags:fandom: star wars, i see stupid people

Star Wars Fans Wasting Bandwidth
This morning I said to myself 'y'know... I'm tired of finding nothing but lame pottersues wank and half-joking wank... I'm going to go look for some real wank to post.' So I visted theforce.net. Specifically, I went to the Attack of the Clones messageboard.

Hoo, boy...

We start off with this nice little whine about bad scriptwriting... which degenerates into a bizarre discussion of expectations, editing, gratuitous characters, karma, and the proper way to spell 'Beru'. For five pages.

Then there's this (locked, but still readable) complaint about the sheer volume of CG in the movie. The first couple of responses basically warn the poster that this will get wanky, and then things head downhill in a hurry. Naturally, ILM is compared to Weta and nobody can agree who is better at it, the die-hards complain that people are just looking for something - anything - to criticize... and this goes on for twelve pages.

Over here somebody complains about double-standards in judging film effects... why does Star Wars get criticized for certain things that the Matrix and LotR also did? So everybody lines up to spend sixteen pages telling him he's wrong.

Somebody has this in his signature:

Star Wars is not Lord of the Rings with space ships
It never was, and it never will be . Peter Jackson's style IS NOT SW That is true for the OT and Pt as well
GET OVER IT!!!
I will not be seeing Return of the King; I refuse to sign that O-OT petition

This reads to me as: I actually think LotR is better than SW, but I don't want to admit it and am going to hide from it instead.

Finally, this guy thinks Mace Windu is in league with darkness and has many, many reasons why. All of them are stupid. People mock him. For twenty-one pages.


(Post a new comment)


[info]rhi_silverflame
2004-01-21 09:52 pm UTC (link)
Sorry, but I refuse to be swayed from my conviction that the battle at Pelennor Fields was the Battle of Hoth with organic creatures, and without the snow. ;)

The sheer volume of pages-per-wank at theforce.net scares the shit out of me. o.O I marvel that you were able to count.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]skarrow
2004-01-21 11:09 pm UTC (link)
Oliphaunts do have an uncanny resemblance to AT-AT Walkers.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]rhi_silverflame
2004-01-21 11:13 pm UTC (link)
Well yeah, there was definitely that, plus the bit with Merry and Eowyn hamstringing the Mumak reminded me of Luke and the harpoon cable . . .

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2004-01-22 01:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhi_silverflame, 2004-01-22 04:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jediowl, 2004-01-23 05:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]schneck, 2004-01-24 05:07 am UTC

[info]oxydosic
2004-01-22 03:27 pm UTC (link)
Wow, then i wasn't the only one sitting in the theatre and wondering when the landwalkers were gonna show up? Whew.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-01-21 10:04 pm UTC (link)
God bless Star Wars fans, may they forever wank.

(Reply to this)


[info]wankprophet
2004-01-21 10:17 pm UTC (link)
Thank god for the all-pervasive persecution complex of fandoms everywhere. After the last asshat elitist is laid to rest in a solid gold Caddy, after Orli and whatshisface Draco mutilate each others' faces in a knife fight and all lust for them turns to disgust, when spell-check gets installed in every cranium, when even Not-Bob is but a memory and a kiss, when all those damned monkeys with all those damned keyboards finally manage to write every theoretical slash pairing possible and quite a few that aren't, and then the other monkeys write every possible homophobic trash flame ever to grace the Ellen Degeneres Posting Board of Smarm, after the seas have boiled away and Sauron has won his deathmatch with Buffy the Vampire Slayer...there will still be the persecution complex of fanboys and girls everywhere to entertain us. I love the persecution complex. I want to take it home and snuggle it, cause there's no finer wank in the world.

Thank you and goodnight

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]wereleggo
2004-01-22 03:10 am UTC (link)
man, that was beautiful.

as was the way I just spelled that "beaufitul". go, me!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]wakkymse
2004-01-22 09:22 am UTC (link)
*standing ovation*

-lee

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sagralisse
2004-01-21 10:21 pm UTC (link)
Is the wank better than the movie? Because the badness of the movie made me want to shriek and claw my eyes out. I didn't do either, of course. I just cringed and sat through it in the theater, moaning quietly to myself. My heart went out to the little children there who were crying from the movie's awfulness, crying as their tiny unformed minds were twisted by the painful dialogue. They had no choice but to stay as their parents sat inert and drooling, staring at the special effects and perhaps hoping that the next scene would somehow make it all worthwhile. And if not that one, maybe the next, or the next, until at last it was over and we shuffled out of the theater like dazed survivors of some unimaginably hackneyed holocaust.

Or, at least I thought it was over. Then the nightmares began.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]rhi_silverflame
2004-01-21 10:49 pm UTC (link)
You're feeling exceptionally eloquent today, Sagra. I quite like it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sagralisse
2004-01-21 10:59 pm UTC (link)
Thank you. AOTC is inspirational.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ignatius
2004-01-21 11:17 pm UTC (link)
Dear Lord, fanboys.

I can't believe how wanky that place is.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]ladylisse
2004-01-21 11:29 pm UTC (link)
This is pretty tame for Star Wars fanboys.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]beccastareyes
2004-01-21 11:43 pm UTC (link)
*hearts your icon*

The smug grin on Luke's face makes it perfect.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ladylisse, 2004-01-21 11:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-01-21 11:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ignorant_bliss, 2004-01-22 07:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2004-01-22 11:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-01-22 11:58 pm UTC

[info]jediowl
2004-01-23 05:15 pm UTC (link)
Yup. Tame, tame, tame. Try the GREAT CANON WAR FROM HELL WTF!!1111 It goes on, and on, and on, and never stops, and whole message boards self-destruct, and puppies are killed and grown men weep...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dunc
2004-01-21 11:36 pm UTC (link)
This is EXACTLY why I avoid prequel forums, even on my own boards. It's just scary in there.

Not that the EU fans can't get just as bad, but at least there I care enough to have an opinion. But even then, the thread degenerates into 5 pages of nit-picking.

Good old TFN. Wank by the boatload.

(Reply to this)


[info]rogue
2004-01-21 11:45 pm UTC (link)
I'm always suprised at the lack of SW wank around here - as far as SW people go, that is tame. Very, very tame, and the kind of thing that happens hourly, at every message board in existance.

My favorite is the Does Mara Jade Suck Or Not battle, because it's impossible for either side to win. It's fantastic. Half of everyone who likes Star Wars thinks she's the best thing to ever happen to it, and the other half (myself included), thinks she's a horrific demon spawn virus type thing come to demolish the entire franchise. Fun for the whole family!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]dunc
2004-01-22 12:29 am UTC (link)
There are two, count 'em, two of those going on right now.

I wasn't going to report them here unless they got out of control. Right now it's pretty standard.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: - [info]rogue, 2004-01-22 12:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dunc, 2004-01-22 12:38 am UTC
Re: - [info]rogue, 2004-01-22 12:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dunc, 2004-01-22 12:59 am UTC
Re: - [info]rogue, 2004-01-22 01:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dunc, 2004-01-22 01:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dejla, 2004-01-22 07:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dunc, 2004-01-22 11:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladylisse, 2004-01-22 03:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dunc, 2004-01-22 04:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhi_silverflame, 2004-01-22 05:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mariagoner, 2004-01-22 06:24 pm UTC

[info]jediowl
2004-01-23 05:25 pm UTC (link)
Oh, that wank. Yes. I come down on the Sucks! side of it. Eh, she used to be ok, before she morphed into the Sue to end all Sues in the NJO crap. The sadistic part of me would love to see Papaltine killing off a red-haired toddler in Ep III, just for the fanboy wank that would ensue. Heh heh.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]napoleon
2004-01-22 04:04 am UTC (link)
Wow. Wowie-wow-wow-wow.

I just finished watching the original Star Wars trilogy for a Mythology class (comparing it to Beowulf in terms of modern mythology and other such -- well, I'd call it rot but it actually isn't, for once) and as a slash-happy HP fan, I was thinking about whipping up some Hans Solo/Luke Skyewalker fic, since those two scream OTP for me. But now I know better than to attempt such evil deeds, for lo! there is a fandom wankier than Harry Potter.

. . . That last thought scares me.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]dunc
2004-01-22 04:43 am UTC (link)
Nah... we've just been at it longer. HP's still a young'en.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]musette
2004-01-22 04:46 am UTC (link)
We did an analysis of SW using Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey model in a Psych of Mythology class I took, surprisingly cool and accurate, despite not being a big SW fan. We did it with Wizard of Oz too, which was more amusing.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]guinevere33, 2004-01-22 05:08 am UTC
Re: - [info]musette, 2004-01-22 05:12 am UTC
Joseph Campbell fandom? - [info]bishounenhuntrs, 2004-01-23 02:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]croik, 2004-01-22 06:56 am UTC
(no subject) - lampbane, 2004-01-22 07:18 am UTC
Re: - [info]croik, 2004-01-22 07:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]naeelah, 2004-01-22 07:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aruru, 2004-01-22 10:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2004-01-22 07:41 pm UTC
Re: - [info]guinevere33, 2004-01-23 08:29 pm UTC

[info]jediowl
2004-01-23 05:28 pm UTC (link)
I don't think it's wankier than Potter, it just has three or four uber-wanks that go on and on, world without end, for ever and ever until the seas dry up and the stars fall.

Bizarrely, Han/Luke feels more incestuous to me than Luke/Leia. It gives me the whole big brother vibe. Unless you're talking about two new characters called Hans and Skyewalker. :-P

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]thegoldsky
2004-01-22 06:15 am UTC (link)
i actually used to frequent those boards during the summer of 2002. stick around, my friend, because the wank flows pretty freely at that place. of course, most of the best wank is at the spin-off boards. i was tangentically involved in one of the biggeer wanks that board has seen...

ahh, the good old days.

(Reply to this)


[info]lots42
2004-01-22 03:06 pm UTC (link)
Windu -is- a bit of a spaz

(Reply to this)

  
   
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