Calimante is back, and badder than evah!
We all remember Caminante, right? Sure we do, how can you forget someone who threatened to rape rapefic writers with robot knives?

Well, guess what?

He's back. And now all writers of erotic fanfic need fear his robot AIDS.

Well, Internet, You've Completely Ruined Everything For Me.
I can say with complete and utter confidence that the makers of Teen Titans did not want their series to inspire either of the circumstances I am detailing in this post. Bailing that...


So, I just finished watching TEEN TITANS (WHOO WHOO WHOO WHA) while drinking what appears to be either coconut rum or Aftershock. One or the other, I might as well just say that I had a combination of both.

Anyway, I was watching Teen Titans. I thought it was a very nice episode. I was enjoying this ALL-NEW episode of Teen Titans, seeing as how they had done a fairly decent job of introducing a brand new character, and whatnot. But, as the end credits were rolling, one GODDAMNED thought suddenly popped into my head:

"I Wonder How Many Internet Faggots Are Racing To Their Computers, Right Now, In Order To Start Writing Slash Porno Fiction About This New Character?"

Then, I suddenly realized that they made a mention to her taking a BATH, and showed her in a bathrobe! Holy God, there are going to be some people going straight to damned town on this episode and this character!

God Damn It All! You Pricklicks, like, totally ruined everything for me, right there! Remember how I said I would change it, so that the robots would use metal files on you instead of knives? Well, now, the robots are using knives covered with AIDS! Robot AIDS! And Robot AIDS can hurt humans just as badly as it can hurt robots, you bastards! PLASTIC BAGS OVER ALL YOUR STUPID FIC WRITING HEADS AND SEVERAL PUCHES TO YOUR FACES AND GENITALS AND GUTS AS YOU SUFFOCATE AND I CONTINUE TO RULE!

Oh, hey, when I say pricklicks, I totally mean the fic writers, not the people who made or are a part of this community. You're all okay. If I ever see any of you, you'll get hugs and a nice big bag of cookies and smiling hearts!



My spelling and writing take little suffering from me being drunk. Isn't that just lovely? I think it most certainly is. I love you.

UPDATE: I SPELLED THE WORD "WRITING" TOTALLY WRONG, SO I WENT BACK AND TOTALLY CORRECTED THE MISSPELLING! I SO WANT TO WRAP A PLASTIC BAG AROUND A FIC WRITER'S HEAD!

Ah, Calimante, as long as you remain in this world, I will remain amused. And incredibly frightened, somewhere in the back of my mind.