Transsexuals wank two standard deviations better than normal wankers!
To no one's surprise, the Queen of Wank has got her introitus all squirty again. Before I begin, I beg forgiveness for wanking her again; you must understand that JDR-watching is my hobby. Some people RP--I do this.

To those who have lives better pastimes than mine, Jennifer Diane Reitz is a 40-something MTF transsexual who is quite possibly the most irritating person ever put upon God's green Earth. Dubbed "Whiny McBlame-chan" by some long-forgotten POE wag, she is notable for...holy crap, if I had to list it all I would probably die or something. Just look at the first URL, you'll get up to speed pretty quickly.

At any rate, said Creatrix runs excessively huggy and pretentious forums, and has just started an offense to Wacomkind a new webcomic based on an old story she did for Otakuworld ages ago. The religion in this particular comic is a thinly-veiled parody of Catholicism, which has led of late to lots of fun arguments which have made JDR pretty damn touchy even for JDR. (The link above, though not the subject of this particular wank, is a wonderland of "GODDAMN FUNDIEZ RATIONALISM IS TOTALLY COOLIEZ!!!!ichi!SOMEONEFUCKINGHUGGLEME!" rhetoric, and thus well worth the time taken to read it. Whatever kind of logic this is, the planets are flat.) Combine this with the fact that JDR may have to quit calling herself a hetaera and maybe actually get a real fucking job, and you have a stumpcock that fairly aches for sweet splurty release.

Bingo.

It starts off innocuous enough, but then JDR, in her infinite wisdom, decides to let everybody know that Lewis Carroll was indeed a pedophile. One of the forumites, apparently something of an expert on Mr. Carroll, takes issue with her characterizing him as such, and asks to see some evidence (beyond his ballyhooed naked girly photographing, which is not incontrovertible proof of pederasty) that he was such. And then...this. (Regrettably, putting this in italics destroys the formatting of the original, which is VERY special indeed. My apologies.)

Yes it is cool. Because I know my stuff. Because I know my stuff so well, I can say things like that and not have to be questioned about it. I shouldn't have to be called out over stuff like that. It makes me cranky.

Being called out pisses me off, Kenny. Especially when I am right. I did make one mistake, though, and I will admit to it at the end. So you win one. But the rest...well... ok, fine. You calling me out? Normally I just ignore such questioning of my validity, but tonight I am feeling really pissy. REALLY REALLY PISSY!

Which means I slam down references, and a little anger too, perhaps. We'll see. Did I already mention I'm feeling pissy about being questioned about knowing what I speak of and also being called 'not cool' as well?

Let's bring it on, then....

She then goes on to cite multiple references, several in foreign languages, that allege but do not prove that Carroll was a genuine pedophile. Tempers flare, several people come out of the woodwork to criticize the Creatrix for essentially calling herself infallible, and all in all there are 9 solid pages of me bouncing up and down in my chair like a kid with ADHD on Christmas morning.

Eventually, JDR apologizes, and then reveals that she didn't think Carroll was a pervert at all. Why would she defend her claim to the contrary so strongly? No one can say. The wank continues apace, but summarizing it robs it of its beauty. It is akin to attempting to describe the physics of a bumblebee's flight. The essence is lost in the retelling.

I swear it's my birthday again or something.