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Sister Wank - Like the Bride of Jesus In A Way ([info]sister_wank) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-02-22 18:52:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:energetic

If you want your wank, come and claim it!
It's The Anti-Arwens versus the Pro Arwens!

I was going to do individual links to the wanky posts, but there are so many you can just roll down the pages and boggle.


(Post a new comment)


[info]snacky
2004-02-23 02:55 am UTC (link)
They're...having a war?

Over ARWEN?

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[info]skarrow
2004-02-23 02:59 am UTC (link)
The face that launched a thousand 'ships.

But of course. She's so integral and important and stuff.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iczer6
2004-02-23 04:17 am UTC (link)
I don't know the way some fans seem to wank rant about her gives me the impression that Arwen must've single-handly destroyed the ring, kick Sauron's ass, and had hot sex with Aragon while he was being crowned, in the books.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]crickets
2004-02-23 08:00 am UTC (link)
*snerkle* That's hilarious. Other than by oblique reference, Arwen barely surfaces in the books. She has a guest starring role in the Appendices.

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[info]ruaha56
2004-02-23 12:50 pm UTC (link)
What book? What appendices? They'd have to read it first. x_x

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[info]crickets
2004-02-23 11:03 pm UTC (link)
Point.

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[info]littleshebear
2004-02-23 03:11 am UTC (link)
Oh god. You couldn't possibly link to all the wank in there, it's just not possible. Poor Arwen must be drowning in spooge.

But I must say, I like the sub-title of the Anti-Arwen journal: for those who have actually read the books.

Because it's just not possible to have a person who has read the books, and the HoME series AND like what they did with Arwen in the movies. Hm, it was a big shock to discover that I don't exist.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]seventy_three
2004-02-23 03:25 am UTC (link)
Nope, you have to have "The bitch STOLE Glorfindel's horse!!!!" tattooed on your forehead or you're not a True Fan.


(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re:
[info]littleshebear
2004-02-23 03:32 am UTC (link)
So all those re-readings of the books, my good working knowledge of Quenya and my all-round obsession with Tolkien will avail me nothing if I don't get my ass down to the tattoo parlour? Well that's a bummer. *sighs*

Can I have a "'The Arwen's fate tied to the Ring' subplot was craptastic," tattoo instead? I could go one of them.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]seventy_three
2004-02-23 04:06 am UTC (link)
Can I have a "'The Arwen's fate tied to the Ring' subplot was craptastic," tattoo instead?

Sorry, no. Because even a fangirl who had never touched the books could tell that little subplot was lame as hell. You have to be visibly and violently opposed to anything besides a brief view of her from across the room in Rivendell, followed by her sudden reappearance at the end of the movie or you don't get the True Fan badge. Who cares if the rest of the audience says, "Who the hell is that?" As a True Fan, you'd be in on the secret.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]crickets
2004-02-23 08:07 am UTC (link)
ROTFL! This is what I get for not reading all of the posts before opening my big mouth. *points up* I came close to inadvertently quoting you before I cut the post short.

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[info]vengeance_bean
2004-02-23 03:30 am UTC (link)
I hate Arwen, therefore I am?

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Wheee, Descartes!
[info]littleshebear
2004-02-23 03:32 am UTC (link)
..."I am a thing that hates Arwen. I am an Arwen hating substance."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Wheee, Descartes!
[info]vengeance_bean
2004-02-23 03:37 am UTC (link)
Dude. I am so voting for Elrond.

...is he giving out buttons and, if so, where can I get one?

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[info]littleshebear
2004-02-23 03:39 am UTC (link)
They've got them in Rivendell, but nowhere else. His campaign really isn't very well organised.

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[info]mariagoner
2004-02-23 03:54 am UTC (link)
Poor Arwen must be drowning in spooge.

I hate to say it, but I kinda dig that mental image...

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[info]littleshebear
2004-02-23 03:57 am UTC (link)
*laughs*

Whatever floats your boat.

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Now I dead from ICON
[info]vengeance_bean
2004-02-23 04:15 am UTC (link)
You have the best icons EVAH.

I love you.

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Re: Now I dead from ICON
[info]littleshebear
2004-02-23 04:27 am UTC (link)
Thanks.

See children? Mocking Tolkien is fun!

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Re: Now I dead from ICON
[info]terminal_frost
2004-02-23 04:52 am UTC (link)
That icon is even better.

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Re: Now I dead from ICON
[info]musette
2004-02-25 12:44 am UTC (link)
I just choked on Thai peanut noodles from that icon, I hope you're happy.

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Re: Now I dead from ICON
[info]littleshebear
2004-02-25 12:45 am UTC (link)
I'm sorry...I just thought Haldir's funky go-go boots needed to be shared with the world. ;)

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Re: Now I dead from ICON
[info]musette
2004-02-25 02:25 am UTC (link)
Does Haldir want the funk, gotta have that funky funk?

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[info]thespacecat
2004-02-24 11:26 am UTC (link)
....dayum. And you pretended not to like Eternal Hearts.

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[info]mariagoner
2004-02-24 11:54 am UTC (link)
Here's how it goes.

Good old fashioned consensual bukake = Okay!

Turning a Lesbian into a Happy Hetero Through the Magic Power of a Vampire's Cock & Fangs = Not Okay!

Do you understand now?

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[info]thespacecat
2004-02-24 11:09 pm UTC (link)
It's like you're speaking some kind of crazy, made-up language.

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(Anonymous)
2004-02-23 10:10 pm UTC (link)
The top 12 Reasons the Tomato is better thenArwen

1: It has more personality. You can draw a face on it and make it talk, which gives it more depth then Arwen will ever have.
2: It has many uses. You can mash them up for katchup or sauce, You can fry them, boil them, put them in a stew. Eat them raw, or roast them over a flame. Arwen has one use: Sitting around pouting.
3: It comes in a variety of types, green, ripe, over ripe, roma tomatoes etc. Arwen come in one type: Teary and whiny.
4: The tomato plays a large roll in the LOTR movies, if Pippin, Sam and Merry had NOT been cooking some at the camp on weathertop, then the nazgul would never have come, there would have been no fight, and Arwen would never had to steal Glorfindil's part and be so insanely out of what charactor she has.
5: The tomatoe is an important plot point in ROTK. Denethor eats one, very messily and symbolicly, whilest Farimer rides to certain doom. Arwen sits around and sobs alot for the whole movie.
6: Tomatoes can't wear slutty purple dresses.
7: Tomatoes have stared in many books and tv series such as "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" both the movie, cartton, video game and comic book series. In the book Arwen appears twice in text, has 1 line and the rest tolkien stuck in the appendixes, and until the movies she was just "the elf lady Aragorn marries". In the movie she sits around crying. She manages to cry in EVERY scene she is in. Which brings me to number..
8: tomatoes can't cry. They can't lay around feeling sorry for themselves and sobbing. And if they could, you can always sprinkle some salt on them and eat them so they stop it.
9: Tomatoes don't need to be on every piece of merch ever made to convince the public of there worth.
10: Fans of tomatos don't go into other non-tomato eaters communities and steal posts and such. They just say "oh, you don't like them? Have some corn instead"
10.5: Tomatos don't have to rely on thier parents to tell them who they can and can not pollonate and make baby tomatos with. Or when to become ripe and fall off the vine. Arwen can't make her own decisions, so she listens to daddy to tell her whom she can and cannot marry and when.
11: Tomatos are braver, they have to fall off that big old vine to near certain doom! Arwen.. safely sews a flag
12: when tomatoes die (get eaten) they don't wish they'd never fallen from the vine. When its time for Aragorn and later herself to die, Arwen regretts her choice.

Huh? Arwen cried in the movies?


Bonasi

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ataniell93
2004-02-24 02:27 am UTC (link)
I could put a tomato in a slutty purple dress.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2004-02-24 04:51 am UTC (link)
Icon, please!


Bonasi

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[info]sagralisse
2004-02-24 04:18 am UTC (link)
Am I the only one who's sorry that they made up?

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[info]musette
2004-02-25 12:45 am UTC (link)
Was just thinking that, clearly we are not alone in the desire for eternal wank.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

  
   
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