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Erik ([info]erik) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-03-17 17:57:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
IMDb does it again
I bring you more Phantom of the Opera wank, this time on IMDb, which seems to send out some sort of miracle pheromone that makes any innocent fan who ventures there into a masturbatory monster.

Exhibit A is a general worry-fest over the actors in the upcoming movie, but it doesn't get interesting until down here. People start complaining about beating dead horses and such, and BudGgal lets fly the personal attacks against Synergy-5. Nice, concise wank on both sides.

And since it wouldn't be IMDb without parallel wanks, I bring ye a fresh bout of Colm Wilkinson splooge. Ahhh, familiarity. The man's tied with Michael Crawford for his ability to stir up huge amounts of wank wherever he's mentioned. Later in the thread they go off on a tangent about Gerard Butler being dubbed.

On yet another thread, we have Webber versus Sondheim.

And digging back into February, should the Phantom be sexy?

Is it the Phandom? Is it IMDb? Is it a lethal cocktail of both? And really, who cares? It's fucking funny.

(Post a new comment)


[info]judyhazeleyes
2004-03-18 01:59 am UTC (link)
ahem. do i see colm wilkinson bashing?

i've never found it so hard to keep it in my pants as i do at THIS VERY MOMENT. someone stop me, before i drown you all in splooge!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]erik
2004-03-18 02:18 am UTC (link)
Yes you do, and he rightly deserves it.

Perhaps if we think unsexy thoughts, the urge to wank will go away. Just... you know... think of baseball, or Latin declensions, or Michael Crawf--

*splurt* Oops.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]judyhazeleyes
2004-03-18 02:23 am UTC (link)
well, i've never heard him as the phantom, so i suppose i've no right to judge. he's just so mind-blowingly good in the vastly superior les miserables that i find it hard to imagine him playing any role that badly.

but don't even get me started on michael crawford. that's quite enough wanking for one thread, i believe.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]erik
2004-03-18 02:30 am UTC (link)
I've heard lots of fans say he does very well in Les Miz, but he's a truly awful Phantom. Wrong type for the role, I guess.

If you don't start on Crawford, I won't either. Can't have God decimating the kitten population, after all...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]orphanannie
2004-03-18 07:12 am UTC (link)
I saw him live once in Les Miz and he was incredible, though not my favorite of the Valjeans I've seen live.

Though I do prefer him to Crawford if we're just talking cast recordings. Not that that says much. ;-)

"Phoney voice, I still can shovel..."

(Reply to this)(Parent)

When Fan and Mundance Collide
[info]pfeffermuse
2004-03-18 03:22 am UTC (link)
You can find wank anywhere, but three easy targets are always IMDB, Amazon.com and BN.com.

Most fans have earned their battle spurs on the 'net via the UseNet, message boards, lists, journals they're involved in. We know wank, and we know trolls pretty quickly. The poor mundane has no compass to guide him/her, so the wank keeps growing exponentially.

Laugh at Pity the poor mundane.

Pepper

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: When Fan and Mundance Collide
[info]orphanannie
2004-03-18 07:10 am UTC (link)
There's also the brand-spankin' new http://www.phantomfans.net.

And the ever-wanky Le Café and its more aniemic counterpart on the Phantom site.

Newbies are like shrooms. They keep coming, even if you mow 'em down!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: When Fan and Mundance Collide
(Anonymous)
2004-03-19 05:13 am UTC (link)
Holy shit! Le Café still exists?! I wanked there incessantly as an obsessed kidlet....what, seven years ago?

-Anonymous Creepy Lurker

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: When Fan and Mundance Collide
[info]orphanannie
2004-03-19 06:24 am UTC (link)
Yes, sadly.

It's a shadow of its former self, and the floor is covered in a thin film of Eponinegirliedrool.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: When Fan and Mundance Collide
(Anonymous)
2004-03-22 04:56 am UTC (link)
the floor is covered in a thin film of Eponinegirliedrool

So, you're saying it hasn't changed a bit, then?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: When Fan and Mundance Collide
[info]orphanannie
2004-03-23 04:14 am UTC (link)
LOL! Well, if you thought it was bad BEFORE... ;-)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]darkrose
2004-03-18 04:18 am UTC (link)
Must...not...wank...

But it's so tempting! Yes, Sondheim's a genius but Into the Woods is second-rate Sondheim. Sweeney Todd is still the best thing he's ever done. I shudder to think of what the movie will be like, actually...

(Reply to this)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2004-03-18 07:12 am UTC (link)
random anon popping in to say....

YES!!! sweeney todd is orgasmically good! ridiculously better than into the woods, in my opinion.

*salutes you*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]bookshop
2004-03-19 05:24 am UTC (link)
I cast my vote for Assassins. Sweeney Todd is definitely his greatest achievement on the most fronts (ideological, thematic, structural, musical, and of course commercial), but if we're talking classic Sondheim in terms of his *vision*--there's just nothing that comes close to Assassins.

Into the Woods is my personal favorite, largely for sentimental reasons (it's the show I discovered Sondheim through), but if I had to choose the best, if only in terms of ambition, I'll always come back to Assassins.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]musette
2004-03-19 07:20 am UTC (link)
Assassins is freaking orgasmic, but ITW definitely has sentimental appeal. But Sweeney, mmmm Sweeney. It's so hard to pick, even crap Sondheim is better than 90% else of what's out there.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

"Nothing changes, nothing ever will..."
[info]orphanannie
2004-03-18 07:09 am UTC (link)
OK, wrong show, right sentiment.

Sheesh. If you changed some of the names around I would've thought this was 1997 again. Or 1999, for that matter.

Is Di Flogerzi around? ;-)

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2004-03-18 07:41 am UTC (link)
The POTO fandom is fucking scary. I got frightened away by the constant obsessing over the movie.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2004-03-18 07:59 am UTC (link)
Wait...movie? But-but- I haven't seen it live yet! A movie will ruin my vision! Argh! Well, I hope it'll be good at least.

(Reply to this)


[info]rebeccasama
2004-03-18 08:44 am UTC (link)
Should the Phantom be sexy?

Well... depends if you find hideous disfigurement on one side of the face sexy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2004-03-18 11:28 pm UTC (link)
Don't forget the murdering, manipulating, kidnapping, blackmailing....

Not to mention the serious lack of people skills.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]rebeccasama
2004-03-18 08:52 am UTC (link)
I define fiction as working within a connon, I'm not doing that, I'm retelling the story straight up. And It's long enough to be three novels. And I'm going to (try really really hard to) get it published, so it's a novel to me. If you think Kay is fanfiction too, than that's different, but this work is very important to me so please be respectful until you've read it.

Sheesh. Someone stick a pin in her ego. (Personally I liked Phantom of the Opera when I read it...) Anyway. I'm not understanding this "I shall rewrite Phantom of the Opera but it is not fanfiction cause I say so." *shakes head*

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Finding wank on IMDB is like shooting fish in a barrel. I love it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]roz_mcclure
2004-03-20 03:55 am UTC (link)
wait, where is that?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]eag
2004-03-18 10:00 am UTC (link)
They could solve everything by making it animated and using the original cast voices on the cartoons.

The Phantom can have like one of those magical girl transformations in which his clothes fly off in a mass of sparkles and he's replaced by some hunky gorgeous guy. With like, that wind-wavy hair and cherry blossoms and feathers.

I also vote for an Akira-esque motorcycle chase scene when they're going down into the catacombs after the Phantom. It'd be all sorts of cool. Then he can sprout tentacles and it'd have a more interesting climax, if you know what I mean.

Problem solved!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]starherd
2004-03-18 11:04 am UTC (link)
Dude, I'm *so* watching that version.
right now, as I listen to the soundtrack.
"I am your Angel," *sprouts wings, Clamp-type feathers start flying* "Come to me, Angel of Music..."
Raul, looking strangely like Kamui:"Angel of Darkness! Cease this torment!"
Phantom, winged and looking oddly enough likr Fuuma w/a mask: "You're not so bad looking yourself."

I live for Masquerade. Nothing else in that musical matters. :-D

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]lab
2004-03-18 11:43 am UTC (link)
Now I dead from CLAMP.

*rolls around*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(Reply from suspended user)

[info]phosfate
2004-03-18 08:42 pm UTC (link)
Everybody else onstage: KAMUIIIIIIII!!!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-03-18 12:09 pm UTC (link)
And one more thing, I consider myself rather unattractive for the most part and am quite self-conscious about the way I look. That is why I have loved POTO since I was a child and why I don't want to see this one looks screwed up.

Maybe she should wear a mask.

(Reply to this)


[info]delfeus
2004-03-18 06:19 pm UTC (link)
I'm too lazy to read the wank, but I have to say that the best version of the Phantom of the Opera song I've heard is the one on Nightwish's Century Child... Female vocals by Tarja Turunen and male vocals by my god Marco Hietala. Yum...

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]erik
2004-03-18 07:12 pm UTC (link)
Nightwish kick ass. Lacrimosa did some interesting things with the harmony, but the Nightwish version is just more energetic and... well... better.

Do not even speak of the Gimme Gimmes cover in my presence. Eurgh.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re:
[info]delfeus
2004-03-18 07:18 pm UTC (link)
What's Gimme Gimme?

There's also a version by some powermetal band with male vocals, can't remember what it was, since I hadn't heard their stuff before... a fan of theirs told me to listen to it, but it wasn't even close to NW's quality.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]erik
2004-03-18 09:37 pm UTC (link)
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. Pop-punk cover band who did a truly horrible version of that song.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]bookshop
2004-03-19 05:33 am UTC (link)
Come now. Lloyd Webber v/s Sondheim is not wank: it's a way of life. :D

Seriously, if you're in love with musical theatre, Lloyd Webber v/s Sondheim is like "dog-person v/s cat-person." It's not a question of debate, it's just one of those things that inevitably divide the (musical theatre) world into its two natural groups.

If you want to see musical theatre composer WANK, just mention Frank Wildhorn. Bwahahaha.

Aja (who, when it comes to Sir Andrew and Uncle Steve, will always go to the bat for Aspects of Love and Assassins, respectively, as their best shows; and who will always, always be the person to cast the first stone--preferably a very blunt, heavy stone--when it comes to Frank Wildhorn.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]musette
2004-03-19 07:25 am UTC (link)
Well see, it doesn't help that Wildhorn has a fucking army of obsessive, undersexed, middle aged, frightening fans. I admit, I like Wildhorn in a guilty pleasure kind of way and because he at least picks decent source material, but come ON. Even Sondheim on his worst day at the age of like fourteen wrote better music.

As for ALW, I'll still call Sunset Blvd. his best show, but Aspects has moments.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

  
   
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