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efuctuta! ([info]anatsuno) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-03-31 19:38:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Leave it to Kevin, man
okay, so, i'm not a huge FW poster or anything, but this i thought belonged here.

i just love it when Real People-- Real Artists omg, even-- get down and boogie with the worst wankiest best of us.

it's just the one post, as i haven't actually checked the forum to see if further wankiness exploded or whatnot, but man, can Kevin Smith work it or what?

and it's not like I don't understand the guy at all either, but... make it to the last line, and see.

it made me think of MsA. that's good reason enough to share, yeah?

i know, i don't have a talent for funny posts. i don't capitalize either. ream me a new one, what do i care. the icon is worksafe, plplplplpl

(Post a new comment)


[info]judyhazeleyes
2004-03-31 07:55 pm UTC (link)
Oh man. Circle jerks love-ins like this always make me a little nauseous. Everyone's slinging mud and waxing snarky, until the actual subject of their wrath shows up and suddenly they're pushing one another out of the way to be the first to lick his shoes. Bitch, s'il vous plait.

(Reply to this)


[info]truculent
2004-03-31 07:58 pm UTC (link)
::sigh::....when did Kevin Smith turn into such a total tool?

Dude, Kevin, you're a writer. You "rein" it in, not "reign."

And I really can't deal with the "I'm feeling sad today, NOBODY SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE AT ALL." Dude, you're feeling sad and don't want to read bad reviews of your crappy, crappy work? Don't go looking for them!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]smo
2004-03-31 08:09 pm UTC (link)
Seriously. I think he peaked with Chasing Amy and Dogma, anyway. Maybe he should just hang it up.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


pooka
2004-03-31 08:17 pm UTC (link)
But, but...it's his "home!"

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dejla
2004-03-31 08:38 pm UTC (link)
Absolutely -- homonyms are such a pain in the ass, huh?

Does it really matter that I don't have the faintest idea who he is?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iamtheenemy, 2004-03-31 08:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]acari, 2004-03-31 09:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - darthhellokitty, 2004-04-01 10:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]anatsuno, 2004-03-31 08:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankprophet, 2004-03-31 09:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lizardlaugh, 2004-03-31 11:48 pm UTC

pooka
2004-03-31 08:23 pm UTC (link)
I'd give him some cheese to go with his whine, but I already ate it. Mmmm, brie.

And your icon is not only worksafe, it is muy sexay.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]smo
2004-03-31 08:31 pm UTC (link)
And muy hilarioso.

Seriously, cry me a freakin' river, Kevin. All former convenience store clerks should only be as successful as you. Suck it up and deal.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]littleshebear
2004-03-31 08:29 pm UTC (link)
The only thing I really got from this wank was that I want to go to ratemykitten.com and see people shitting on the kittens.

(Reply to this)


[info]wankprophet
2004-03-31 09:04 pm UTC (link)
So here's my movie idea. After my first movie, "Jerks", the tale of my life working at Fandom_Wank, and my second one, "Galledrats," the modernist story of limitless ennui and, somehow, bile, in fandom (starring phosfate, I hope), I'll move onto "Snarking Kevin," starring, of course, me. I'm just a snark-artist toiling away at my feeble creations, and one day, I come to the Fandom_Wank site and see a beautiful wanker named Kevin. I am instantly obsessed with sniping and snarking at this convenience store clerk turned auteur, but in a bizarre twist, I discover that, omgwtf!?! he's a thespian and thus unavailable for my loving snarks. There will be a beautiful scene where Kevin and my best friend (hmmm...nobody cast in that role...let me check my JF friend's list...hmmm...volunteers?) compare psychological scars from being wanked and discuss the quality of their splooge (example: "mine impregnated an entire fandom and now millions of people think Jason Mewes is actually an actor rather than Roboto the Monotone Wonder")

All well and good, but I'm now obsessed with mocking Kevin, and as more of his thespianism and his thespian past is revealed, I grow disillusioned. No longer can I hold out the hope that I can mock a thespian if only the circumstances were right. I no longer that the ecstatic Muff-dive of Mendacious Fanwank can ever hope to be replaced with the Penetration of Petty Snark. And, in a twist, my aforementioned best friend leaves me because we can't agree on whether it should be "teh_porn" or "the_pr0n."

And then, as a final twist, I have to stop Victoria Bitter from entering into Heaven (or the Halls of Mandos) and thus negating all of Fandom_Wank's existence

Okay, half of that didn't make sense unless you've watched "Chasing Amy." The other half probably doesn't make sense even if you have. Sigh. C'est la vie.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]anatsuno
2004-03-31 09:09 pm UTC (link)
It's beautiful, and I haven't seen Chasing Amy.

But heh, I know a few things about it, and I've seen Clerks (♥).

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kindest_demon
2004-03-31 09:21 pm UTC (link)
I've seen them all at one time or another, and would like to take this opportunity to fangirl your bitter irony. *does so* ;)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]truculent
2004-03-31 09:25 pm UTC (link)
That icon is the best icon in the history of the world--nay, the universe!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2004-04-01 06:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankprophet, 2004-04-01 09:33 pm UTC
::madly fangirls you::
[info]snacky
2004-03-31 10:09 pm UTC (link)
You've made me so very happy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(Reply from suspended user)

[info]virago
2004-04-01 04:06 am UTC (link)
Rocked. A whole bunch. That is all.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]wakkymse
2004-04-01 05:37 am UTC (link)
Once again, Wankprophet, you are teh_awesome. I salute you. :D

-lee...I need a "w00t!" icon.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]apoplexia
2004-04-01 07:43 am UTC (link)
Wow. Even though I still think the Lord took the wrong Kevin Smith, I don't think even I would have it in my heart to be this bitter creative.

Certainly more amusing than the film on which it's based.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]schneck
2004-04-02 12:58 am UTC (link)
i want to marry your icon. that is all.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]iczer6
2004-03-31 09:09 pm UTC (link)
In honor of this wank I want to share the recent Penny Arcade that was also about KS new movie.

http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2004-03-24&res=l

Enjoy!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]cleolinda
2004-03-31 09:23 pm UTC (link)
That is the most awesome thing I have ever seen. I would like to take this opportunity to say that my work isn't for critics, either. Particularly not the bad stuff.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2004-03-31 09:43 pm UTC (link)
*snerk*

Awesome.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]anatsuno, 2004-03-31 09:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2004-04-01 12:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2004-04-01 07:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thecomfychair, 2004-04-01 02:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2004-04-01 03:52 am UTC

[info]valarltd
2004-03-31 09:49 pm UTC (link)
Maybe I'm odd, it sounded pretty reasonable.

"I'm taking on the press corps this week, and my cow died. So I don't need your bull. Just give me breathing space until Saturday, then have at it!"

It wasn't a "play nice forever" it was a request, on his own boards, to not bitch about the movie until it actually opens!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2004-03-31 09:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-03-31 10:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]anatsuno, 2004-03-31 10:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-03-31 10:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2004-03-31 10:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-03-31 10:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]anatsuno, 2004-03-31 10:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-03-31 10:36 pm UTC
Re: - [info]anatsuno, 2004-03-31 10:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-04-01 01:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]anatsuno, 2004-04-01 09:06 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-04-01 09:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]anatsuno, 2004-04-01 09:24 pm UTC

[info]persephone
2004-04-01 12:26 am UTC (link)
Holy cow, is this wanky artist day at F_W? Not that I'm complaining.

I can't decide which is worse for Kevin, having made that post or all the lips that are now firmly attached to his ass as evidenced by the comments below.

(Reply to this)


[info]lots42
2004-04-01 03:06 am UTC (link)
Lets see if I got it right:

Keven = "OMG SOME PEOPLE HATE MY SHIT WAH WAH WAH I JUST WANT THEM ALL TO GO AWAY. But remember, don't kiss up to me. Just don't post anything negative."

Sheesh, the guy needs therapy.

And wtf is he doing making a movie he knows is going to suck a lot? That just makes no sense

(Reply to this)


[info]pipssister
2004-04-01 03:48 am UTC (link)
Ugh... yeah. I'm a huge fan of Kevin Smith. (I had the pleasure of meeting him, even). But yeah, that was definitley wanky.

As for the new movie, I thought it was cute, but not particuarly special. I'm hoping the Green Hornet will be better.

(Reply to this)

  
   
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