I...can't....
...can't...speak... I just... *babbles incoherently for a few minutes and makes crazy hand gestures*

I don't know if this has been posted before, but...GOD, WTF is this indeed!?

Of Self-Hating Fen and Time Wasters, or, The Fandom Wank, in Two Movements

Oh, God, it's so beautiful I don't know where to begin...

—And we're the time-wasters as well as being pretentious and insincere. Oh yes. The Fandom Wankers refuse to believe that anyone could really care about such things. They are offended by the very idea that strangers could take things that don't interest them seriously enough to get into semi-private heated arguments about the topics. Not only are they offended enough to mock the concept, it is itself a concept outside their pea-brains, that we could have been having this debate (these debates, rather, as like all symposiae it diverged into overlapping segments) in all sincerity, and not to impress some fictional audience (after all, we didn't know that Azusa was lurking there, or who is/was or isn't, unless/until they jumped in and started arguing) or to "make ourselves look intelligent" (again, to whom?) by giving ourselves airs…

And later...

But the Fandom Wankers don't let anyone who doesn't already belong to their community, the JournalFen setup, to post there. And to log in to JournalFen, you have to be friends with someone who has already been made an Initiate of the Circle, rather like joining a secret society (is there a JournalFen handshake, I wonder, or what would the net equivalent of one be? Some sort of ASCII art?)

Just pick a paragraph, ANY PARAGRAGH!

Now, one particularly interesting thing about all the Fandom Wankers, is that they are extremely narrow-minded in their focus. They don't seem to fully realize that there is a wider world out there than their own particular fandom, despite their stated aims of mocking those who take fandom too seriously on a panfandom level. Instead, they each mistakenly believe that their own fandoms are the worst, the only circles of human civilization filled with such pettiness and concern for issues of such triviality (q.v. Azusa's rants on anime fans.)

And:

But the poor Fandom Wankers are stuck in their circles of private hell, obsessing over the behaviour which offends them, and doing absolutely nothing creative8 about it (well, they can't, since what offends them is nothing specific, really) but puffing themselves up with spiritual pride over this negative status as universal critics — when they merely are like the Bandar-log, the howling monkeys of the Mowgli stories, envying the world of sentients, first seeking to mimic it, and then in spite mocking it when they cannot accomplish it themselves, for their limited attention spans and abilities.

On the meaning of the word 'wank':

(...)some total stranger calling gtst's self "Aja" informed us, with a cute little smiley and an obliging link, that we had "been wanked," — an incomprehensible, unparseable statement by any idiomatic useage of the word. This resulted in my current familiarity with the Fandom Wank entity, (and a certain amount of bawdy humour at the Fandom Wankers' expense.) Because the Fandom Wank does not seem to understand the irony of their situation, namely that although they use the word "wank" as a kind of slang shorthand for everything which they disapprove of or condemn as pointless (which makes it essentially useless as a scientific term in this context)

And my personal favorite...

Now, is this article, in turn, a waste of my time?

*wipes tear from the eye* It's...so...beautiful! *falls to her knees...and quietly weeps as a light washes over me*

I have reached it! I can touch it! Orgasm Wank Nirvana!

(First-time poster. Apologies if it was posted before...it was just too hard to resist...)