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Ayla Pascal ([info]aylapascal) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-04-14 14:27:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:irritated

Exercising all possible permutations of the word "F***"
First wank here, so please be gentle with me. Take it out on the little wanker.

One of my friends pointed me to this little piece of Wank from the HP LJ community. It started when [info]not_useful decided to start an entire LJ account dedicated to to letting the world know exactly what a terrible person [info]saphreanth is for de-friending her. Saphreanth doesn't know who the hell this person is in the first place it seems, but that's irrelevant.

I'd point out specifics, but the entire journal is a large, sticky, smelly pile of wank. It's tempting to say this is just a troll (although we still aren't 100% sure), but even if it is, it's just too funny to miss.

In less than 30 hours, the journal's only two entries have a total of 1,090 replies, and the count changes every time you hit the refresh button.

So, have yourself a laugh at the raw stupidity, and see if you can count the number of times you see the word f***!

~P, who is borrowing Ayla's account, because she is a goddess and loffs me.

EDIT: Five minutes has elapsed. The post count is now 1,140. Er, strike that. 1,142.



(Post a new comment)

*cough*
[info]nevadafighter
2004-04-14 07:32 am UTC (link)
http://www.journalfen.net/community/otf_wank/82750.html

Placed there because I don't think saphreanth quite qualifies as fandom.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: *cough*
[info]aylapascal
2004-04-14 07:38 am UTC (link)
Neither does any HP fandom member, if that's the case, including Cassie Claire. Or anyone else that does anything wanky within the HP fandom. So, if wanks about HP BNF's that have nothing to do with the actual books can go here, so can this.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: *cough*
(Anonymous)
2004-04-14 07:40 am UTC (link)
Thank you for making my day brighter! I feel...QUALIFIED now *grins*!

- Saphreanth, who apparently qualifies as fandom again

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Minor wank - [info]loafing_oaf, 2004-04-14 09:54 am UTC
Re: Minor wank - (Anonymous), 2004-04-14 10:12 am UTC
Re: *cough* - [info]nevadafighter, 2004-04-14 07:49 am UTC
Re: *cough* - [info]nevadafighter, 2004-04-14 08:02 am UTC
Re: *cough* - [info]diane_duane, 2004-04-14 10:00 am UTC
Re: *cough* - [info]nevadafighter, 2004-04-14 10:10 am UTC
Re: *cough* - [info]pokecheck, 2004-04-14 10:31 am UTC
Re: *cough*
(Anonymous)
2004-04-14 07:38 am UTC (link)
You...you mean you've all been telling me LIES? *is stunned*. I can handle the truth you know...just be gentle with me.

- Saphreanth, who apparently no longer qualifies as fandom...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: *cough* - [info]aylapascal, 2004-04-14 07:40 am UTC
Re: *cough* - (Anonymous), 2004-04-14 07:42 am UTC

[info]hoorofcrowley
2004-04-14 08:06 am UTC (link)
I'd have to agree that this would work better in otf_wank. But then, FW gets the largest audience and that's one of the main things, yes? And no, I can't even begin to slog through those comments when there's no real backstory to give me leverage.

I'd even toss it into ljdrama but it's probably not going to top the cigarettes drama. Just sayin'.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]rachelmap
2004-04-14 08:35 am UTC (link)
It already is in otf_wank. I don't know why it's been posted here too. It's pretty funny, though.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hoorofcrowley, 2004-04-14 09:02 am UTC

[info]mynxkittie
2004-04-14 08:08 am UTC (link)
So why does OTF_wank exist if so many posts here are redirected to that comm eventually?

No matter. This was amusing as hell.

I'm discusting with all of you.

Especially that line.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

OFT
[info]deoridhe
2004-04-14 05:59 pm UTC (link)
In the vain and somewhat pathetic hope that other than fandom wank will find its way there?

I have every community that references wank friended, though, so perhaps I'm odd.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]c_chan
2004-04-14 08:24 am UTC (link)
That was some great fun over there. *cough*

But seriously, I went over there to try to get the full story at first, and I got nothing. 'cept made some friends, but that's it.

I dare someone to go through all the posts and count how many times she uses the word "fuck".

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]darkwitch666
2004-04-14 08:26 am UTC (link)
There's no way in hell that's possible. It's got to be well over the 10K mark, though.

I'm so happy. This thread is how I got my new icon.

:points:

:beams:

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: - [info]c_chan, 2004-04-14 08:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkwitch666, 2004-04-14 08:36 am UTC
Re: - [info]c_chan, 2004-04-14 08:38 am UTC

[info]iczer6
2004-04-14 08:46 am UTC (link)
But seriously, I went over there to try to get the full story at first, and I got nothing. 'cept made some friends, but that's it.

I think the kicker is that the whole story is what was said here.

Person A unfriend person B and person B had a meltdown.

At this point I think it's some kind of bizarre, flame writing, no spellchecking robot.


Icz

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: - [info]c_chan, 2004-04-14 08:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-14 02:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-04-14 04:48 pm UTC
Re: - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-14 06:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-04-14 06:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-14 10:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-04-14 11:04 pm UTC
Re: - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-15 03:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-04-15 04:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-17 06:23 am UTC
Ayame!!! - [info]deoridhe, 2004-04-14 06:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-14 06:16 pm UTC
AYame!!! - [info]deoridhe, 2004-04-14 06:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-15 03:54 pm UTC
Pathetic? - [info]deoridhe, 2004-04-15 05:32 pm UTC
Re: Pathetic? - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-17 06:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-04-14 06:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-14 10:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-04-14 11:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-14 02:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shinigami_co, 2004-04-15 12:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rowan, 2004-04-15 01:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-15 03:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-04-15 03:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-15 03:50 pm UTC

[info]luna
2004-04-16 05:00 pm UTC (link)
::fangirls over your icon::

::goes back to lurking::

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]reas
2004-04-14 08:27 am UTC (link)
There is one pretty thing about this wank - there are so many comments on comments, that if you scroll up and down the page really quickly, the waves of comments are like those old books where, when you flipped the pages really fast, the still pictures became animated. It's a flip-page wank.

(Reply to this)


[info]iamtheenemy
2004-04-14 08:51 am UTC (link)
No real human being can misspell that many words, except if English isn't her native language. I call troll. Honestly, why do people actually spend time concocting things like this?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]pokecheck
2004-04-14 10:36 am UTC (link)
If it's troll then it's gotta be some small troupe of polydactyl trolls with multiple keyboards just for the sheeer volume of demento responses.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2004-04-14 10:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delfeus, 2004-04-14 02:37 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-04-14 10:57 am UTC (link)
Agreed... it's seems like obvious trollery. I don't know anyone involved, nor did I read more than the first couple of posts, but I'm tempted to guess that not_useful is either Saphreanth or one of her friends, engaging in one of those fake-flamewars that occur every so often when people feel they aren't getting enough attention on their own. Let me stress once more that I DO NOT KNOW ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE - it just looks shifty, is all.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-04-14 12:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2004-04-14 07:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aloysius, 2004-04-14 08:57 pm UTC

[info]wankprophet
2004-04-14 09:01 am UTC (link)
I agree with nevadafighter -- just being a fan doesn't mean that all wank surrounding you is fan-related. This seems more...what's the word I'm looking for? dumb-as-real-life.

But, looking over the thousand-plus (actually, I just read the first 10 or so, cause I read Finnegans Wake once -- not up for an encore of epic incoherency) I thought I'd share this news item I found

Scientist Discover Wank Is Matter, Warn of Dangers

EREWHON, SHANGRI-LA -- Scientists at the Acadamie de Fandom Wank announced yesterday that they have discovered that wank, long thought to be simply a variant of the so-called "stupidity singularity," is actually matter. This announcement came on the heels of the University of Aucklan's discovery that certain Lord of the Rings fans existed in what was termed a "sploogetastic sixth dimension" in which time and space are not simply curved, but actually warped by the overabundance of the element yin, and of Duke University's Parapsychology lab's discovery that certain HP fangirls can actually read the mind of J.K. Rowling, thus demonstrating conclusively that she was entirely mistaken about what she meant by what she wrote.

"We had long considered the "Wank-Is-Matter" hypothesis," said Sagralisse, head of the Biological Warfare Labs at the Acadamie, "but never managed to isolate it under laboratory conditions. Over in the Jurisimprudential Offices, many attempts to clarify the conditions brought us frustratingly close, but never managed to bridge the crucial divide that separates wank from reality."

Several troubling issues accompany this discovery, say unnamed sources at the Acadamie. Initially, positive results predominated the press releases. "If Wank is Matter," said Snacky, a member of the Board of Regents, "then we can finally perhaps isolate the legendary humor gene because we now have a concrete, empirical source of what we scientific snarkers refer to as, technically speaking, 'hilarity' [genus laffus mi ass offus]. We may finally be able to demonstrate once and for all why Carrot Top isn't funny rather than resorting to ad hominem analysis." Furthermore, some scientists claim that wank could possibly be the perfect fuel source. Recent observations in HP fen have uncovered tantalizing hints that wank is a perpetual motion machine, and investigations into the possiblity of transferring matter to energy reveals that there is an almost perfect 100% conversion rate. Certain Draco wanks, for instance, show that splooge acts in a manner not unlike the "Blob" of the famous B-movie. It devours all sentience, fueling a mindless mass of protoplasmic goo not unlike the substance used -- uncoincidentally -- in the hair of the movie version of Draco and the vampire Spike of Buffy and Angel fame.

"It's uncanny," said noted Bitter Bitch, Phosfate. "Wank, rather than eventually dying out, appears to feed on itself, and actually grows stronger over time. A recent Cassie Claire wank on Fandom_Wank actually created foreign particles, all of which have been named 'Anonymous' until we can isolate them and study their chemical makeup to discover if they have any distinguishing traits besides sheer wankery." Hugsnkisses, on the faculty of the British adjunct campus of the Acadamie, adds, "Everyone knows that matter is energy, as explicated by Einstein in his famous 'e=mc2'. So if we can find a particular sources of matter --- scanlations, Victoria Bitter, George Bush -- that appear to give off much more wank than their physical matter is capable of, we may indeed find the Holy Grail of Eternal Humor, from which we may quaff mock-worthy energy forever. I know it sounds a little mystical, but wank has always existed outside the fringes of the normal, sane world that we live in."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts
[info]wankprophet
2004-04-14 09:02 am UTC (link)

However, the pessimists observe, wank could prove to be very dangerous. "Much of the universe is made of the so-called 'dark matter'," observed Deoridhe. "Though we could never identify it precisely, until now, we've assumed it to be harmless. But what if that matter is pure wank? If this is the case, then we could be looking at a critical mass of wankery, a massive Wankasm that collapses upon itself." Others point to the idea that a real-life Lex Luthor could possible harness wank as a form of Kryptonite against the heroic mockers of Fandom_Wank, who have bravely fought the tide of stupidity by ceaselessly pointing and laughing.

These alternatives -- universal Wankasm or Evil Wanklords -- have given some thinkers pause, but most dismiss these theories as fringe lunacy. eljuno, head of the Music Appreciation and Mockery Department, observes that "In our lifetimes, wank has increased 2 million-fold, but has become increasingly focused in really silly stuff, like anime dubbing. I'm not going to start worrying about whether big-eyed waifs speaking bad English are going to splooge the entire universe. I have enough problems figuring out why m/m is called slash now, even though m/f also has a slash in it. My book on that question is due out in December, by the way"

Sajasma, a former Wank activists and one of the signature singers at Wankapalooza during the Summer of Splooge, 2003, did not return calls, but did release a short statement saying she approved, though she didn't clarify what exactly it was she was approving of.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - [info]kookaburra, 2004-04-14 09:48 am UTC
sigh...that should be... - [info]wankprophet, 2004-04-14 09:56 am UTC
Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - [info]maryavatar, 2004-04-14 10:53 am UTC
Ransom note - [info]wankprophet, 2004-04-15 12:08 am UTC
I will let the emoticons speak for me. - [info]beccastareyes, 2004-04-14 03:46 pm UTC
Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - (Anonymous), 2004-04-14 03:47 pm UTC
Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - [info]smo, 2004-04-14 04:50 pm UTC
AHAHAHAHAHA! - [info]snacky, 2004-04-14 05:21 pm UTC
This is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. - [info]resmiranda, 2004-04-14 06:05 pm UTC
Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - [info]deoridhe, 2004-04-14 06:08 pm UTC
Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - [info]wankprophet, 2004-04-15 01:42 am UTC
Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - [info]deoridhe, 2004-04-15 03:16 am UTC
Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - [info]bunny, 2004-04-14 06:24 pm UTC
Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - [info]shoiryu, 2004-04-14 07:11 pm UTC
Question: - [info]bunny, 2004-04-15 03:32 am UTC
Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - [info]byagghametta, 2004-04-15 05:23 am UTC
Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - [info]acaciah, 2004-04-15 03:40 pm UTC
Re: Part 2 -- damned length limits on posts - (Anonymous), 2004-04-19 11:12 pm UTC

[info]mirabellawotr
2004-04-14 10:06 am UTC (link)
Just saying, it's all right to spell out "fuck" here. We do it an awful lot ourselves.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]nevadafighter
2004-04-14 10:16 am UTC (link)
Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck!

Had to.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2004-04-14 09:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]yadda, 2004-04-14 10:15 pm UTC

[info]fishandbicycle
2004-04-14 12:39 pm UTC (link)
[info]not_useful has deleted her entries and replaced them with a no-comments entry, saying something about fucking yurselves.

...anyone know what "yurselves" are?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2004-04-14 01:01 pm UTC (link)
I think she made them friends-only actually. If you go to her journal info and click at the bottom, the number of entries made is still at the count of "3".

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]c_chan, 2004-04-14 01:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-04-14 04:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]c_chan, 2004-04-15 12:24 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-04-14 05:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-04-14 08:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mijan, 2004-04-15 02:07 am UTC
Oh my GOD
(Anonymous)
2004-04-15 03:02 am UTC (link)
That icon is FANTASTIC.
~A

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-04-23 06:49 pm UTC (link)
Hey fish - totally nothing to do with anything - but I am completely in love with your icon. May I pinch for LJ use?

LJ - kate74

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]gal_montag
2004-04-14 08:43 pm UTC (link)
That was a great wank, fun was had by all. Except [info]not_useful. But I had a lot of fun.

(Reply to this)


 
   
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