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	queerasjohn 2003-04-24 05:42 am UTC (link)
	sporfle Holy shit. "Darth Maul": Commercialized symbol of evil whose name sounds like "mall". Coincidence? No, it's a cunning ploy to get children to go to the mall. Duh! Their Shut Down Landover Baptist page even has "In Sync" [sic] -- anyone want to send them popslash? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	jerry_ds_girl 2003-04-24 06:05 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, like anyone with half a brain doesn't know that JC Penney stands for the company founder, James Cash Penney. I knew that when I was just a kid, there was a big portrait of him in the local Penney's. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	gelasius 2003-04-24 07:05 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, cuz "Darth Maul" clearly has nothing to do with . . . \Maul\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. Mauled; p. pr. & vb. n. Mauling.] 1. To beat and bruise with a heavy stick or cudgel; to wound in a coarse manner. 2. To injure greatly; to do much harm to. -- http://dictionary.reference.com/ :-P (Reply to this)(Parent)

	darkrose 2003-04-24 06:18 am UTC (link)
	I'm pretty sure that this is a parody site, actually. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gelasius 2003-04-24 07:08 am UTC (link)
	Aww, but where's the fun in that? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	pipssister 2003-04-24 07:13 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, I have trouble believing a site that sells this: http://www.cafeshops.com/objectivemin.3749749 Is an actual Christian website. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	jerry_ds_girl 2003-04-24 06:35 pm UTC (link)
	Oops, I never saw that. My bad. It's hard to tell sometimes with the fundies, the real ones sound just as wanky as the fake ones. (Like that CAP movie review site, which is real.) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sorchar 2003-04-24 07:59 am UTC (link)
	That's what I was thinking. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	queerasjohn 2003-04-25 02:41 am UTC (link)
	Yeah. The "we've replaced our purple bear because purple has been hijacked by Those Queers, but we've replaced it with a rainbow bear" page made me go "hmm..." I want to know where the parody warnings are, though... (Reply to this)(Parent)

nevadafighter
2003-04-24 06:39 am UTC (link)

Increased advertising and product placement in all sectors of life (witness the Godless public education system putting ads in their schools - do you really believe they are doing that due to a lack of funds?).

Of course not. Turns out students actually LIKE being hit on the head with ceiling tiles and watching water run through the cracks in the walls, being taught by teachers who need to work two other jobs to make ends meet and driving crappy cars. They love it.

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	asilvahalo 2003-04-24 08:20 am UTC (link)
	... please tell me this is a joke (Reply to this)(Thread)

raisedbyhyenas
2003-04-25 07:39 am UTC (link)

Last Minute Shoppers: Almost exclusively male. These shoppers are harried and often confused and consequently will be more susceptible to Secular programming. The pressure to consume will have them at a breaking point. Use a very hard sell, appealing to their desire for release from the slavery of Consumerism, and they can be easily snapped. The closer to December 25, the more likely they will be to completely abandon their Secular Consumer lifestyle on the spot. If you are targeting these lost souls, be sure to bring a van so that you can take them back to your Church for counceling and emergency baptisms.

Gee, yeah, I THINK IT'S A JOKE. Good ~~God~~ Santa. People, people, PEOPLE. Next thing you know, you'll be thinking bonsaikitten.com is real *rolls eyes*

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