PORN is Teh EVAL and Gordon Sumner thinks so too!!1!1!!!!!
We had a fun little bit of wankery on the Police mailing list this month.

It all begins when a mysterious creature named CareTalk posts a nonsensical rant about Howard Stern:

Subj: Attention : Howard Stern
Date: 5/7/2004 3:02:06 PM Central Standard Time
From: Care Talk
To: sternshow at howardstern.com
CC: AnimalAbuseSignatures at yahoogroups.com

It isn't The Government muzzeling you, it is me who is responsible for it.

Say Good Bye to your whole career, because you are washed up, and are
completely out, and I couldn't be happier.

Mr. Gordon Sumner didn't appreciate your antics with his ex-wife being
broadcast.

Gordon happens to be completely against PORNOGRAPHY.

Sincerely,
Tabatha
CareTALK, Inc.

AnimalNewz.TV
News A-Z On The World Wide Web
Your Source For News On The World Wide Web
Care Towards All Living Kind



Michelle asks, "Who named you official spokesperson for Gordon Sumner?", for which CareTalk has no reply except to then post an announcement for the new "Official Police Fan Club" -- including a bunch of URLs, none of which are working yet, nor does she answer any challenges as to how she got permission launch an official club.

It also starts spamming the list with newsletters from the Official Sting site, "Ethical Websites Associated with The Police", and another post about banning pornography that proclaims "There isn't a person alive who can seperate me, and MY 3 men, who happen to be The Police. Yet, it is amazing how many idiots try. It makes us laugh in delight." Gollum jokes follow.

There's simply too much good wank that follows to list all the individual posts. Just
start here, look for the "[Police] Attention : Howard Stern " post and basically everything that follows after that. It really gets fun when Sting--sorry, GORDON, as CareTalk/Tabitha insists--shows up himself.