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The Other Dubya ([info]misswindy) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-05-14 15:21:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
You're just jealous. No, you are! No, YOU are! Rinse and repeat.
Thanks to [info]nevadafighter's excellent Jelly (Justin/Kelly) wank post, I was inspired to go looking around Ruben Studdard's message board, since that's always an infinite source of the same 12 Ruben fans warding off all the evil guilty trolling jealous Claymate invaders. As usual, the Rubenites didn't disappoint. I found tons of Rubenwank. No pun intended.

19E is totally betraying Ruben just by REPRESENTING Clay. They should let that fucker fend for himself.

Let's ignore the v. v. evil Clay trolls! Yes, let's! We're bigger than them! And let's post 32 times congratulating ourselves on how well we're ignoring them!

Then there's the hilariously hyperbolic:
You'd think that Ruben winning was the OJ Simpson trial all over again.

Ten months later and people STILL think that the guy who outsold Ruben 3 times over, was selling out arena tours four months later, and was the top vote getter every night except the finale should have won! WTF! Why can't they just GET OVER IT?!

Even though our guy is black and won last year, CLEARLY AMERICAN IDOL IS RACIST!

Then the Clay fans wank back:

It's better to be a leprechaun than a gross 400 lb whale. He's going to make all our kids want to be fat! THINK OF TEH CHILDREN!

To which a nice Ruben fan responds:
So what if LaToya wasn't popular on the Internet! I bet that faggot [i.e., Clay] gets more searches than Usher, you racist asshole!

And there's my favorite exchange about Ryan Seacrest announcing Clay this week as "a national heartthrob with an expensive haircut":
Gee, was Clay on this week? I guess I just didn't notice. (Side note: I don't get the short jokes - Clay Aiken is 6'2".)

Clayfen respond: Maybe you're just too used to whale watching. You jealous bitch.

There's just too much wank for me to summarize here, people. These links are just off the first PAGE, and there's, like, 17 pages left. The whole board is just a giant cesspool of wank. It's the Old Smokey of wank. Don't get me wrong, there's SOME criticism of the other Idol contestants on other Clay's various fan boards (which outnumber Ruben's by about 20:1) just like there are on all the other Idol boards, but the Ruben boards always felt like the damn Alamo. Little tiny fortress in the middle of the fandom valiantly fighting a hopeless fight.

ETA: Although someone referring to Ruben as "The Velveeta Sweaty Bear" might have made me laugh hysterically.

*sits back and roasts marshmellows*


(Post a new comment)


[info]chaimonkey
2004-05-14 11:30 pm UTC (link)
OMG!1! yoo are teh BIASED!!! ruben is BEST!!1 *spazz*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]misswindy
2004-05-14 11:32 pm UTC (link)
OMGLOLZWTFitsnot my fault yr guy is like reallyreally huge and also bad!!!1 RUBIN SUX0RZ ALSO HE CHEATED!!1! Clay wuz ROBED!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: - [info]chaimonkey, 2004-05-14 11:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-14 11:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaimonkey, 2004-05-18 10:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-05-15 02:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 02:54 am UTC
Re: Icon - (Anonymous), 2004-05-17 04:03 am UTC

coreopsis
2004-05-15 01:28 am UTC (link)
someone referring to Ruben as "The Velveeta Sweaty Bear"
And does this person love him or hate him? It's not obviously apparent from a name like that. heh.


I'm pulling for hate because that's the kind of world I want to live in. ;-)

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]misswindy
2004-05-15 02:32 am UTC (link)
It's definitely meant out of hate - his nickname on the show, given by Gladys Knight when she was an utterly useless guest judge, and later perpetuated by his management, was "the Velvet Teddy Bear," which is why that was so damn funny.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]musette
2004-05-15 07:15 am UTC (link)
*molests your icon*

Um yes, moving on. *coughs and slips off to work on HH OT3 fic*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]raykat
2004-05-15 09:13 am UTC (link)
Hee-hee

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]pipssister
2004-05-15 01:36 am UTC (link)
I know this is indirect, but crap, I was waiting for LaToya/Fantasia wank to appear. My Mom is still pissed.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]jaina
2004-05-15 03:10 am UTC (link)
I have been on f_w way too long. I read "LaToya/Fantasia" and thought, "Wow, RPF femslash?"

*sporks self repeatedly*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 03:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreamtoday, 2004-05-15 04:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 04:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2004-05-15 05:52 am UTC
Re: - [info]dreamtoday, 2004-05-15 07:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dexwebster, 2004-05-15 08:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]schneck, 2004-05-15 03:28 am UTC
Man.
[info]tiasian
2004-05-15 02:11 am UTC (link)
I want to feel sorry for the Ruben fans. I really do. Only...

That just weirds me out.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Man.
[info]misswindy
2004-05-15 02:33 am UTC (link)
I want to feel sorry for the Ruben fans.

Sorry for... 2004?

Eeep. That was a bad pun.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Man. - [info]tiasian, 2004-05-15 02:48 am UTC
Re: Man. - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 02:53 am UTC
Re: Man. - [info]tiasian, 2004-05-15 03:18 am UTC
Re: Man. - (Anonymous), 2004-05-15 02:54 am UTC
Re: Man. - (Anonymous), 2004-05-15 03:40 am UTC
Re: Man. - (Anonymous), 2004-05-15 06:01 am UTC
Re: Man. - (Anonymous), 2004-05-15 04:04 pm UTC
Re: Man. - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 06:37 pm UTC
Re: Man. - [info]mariagoner, 2004-05-16 11:29 am UTC
Re: Man. - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 06:10 am UTC
Re: Man. - (Anonymous), 2004-05-15 03:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sewingmyfish, 2004-05-15 05:57 pm UTC
Re: Man. - [info]prettyveela, 2004-05-15 06:25 am UTC
Re: Man. - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 06:47 am UTC

[info]sarajayechan
2004-05-15 02:42 am UTC (link)
It's better to be a leprechaun than a gross 400 lb whale. He's going to make all our kids want to be fat! THINK OF TEH CHILDREN!

*sporfle*

Yeesh, I wonder why my mom and sister like this show as it is...somehow, the wank never comes up when I question it though. :P

(Reply to this)


[info]cleolinda
2004-05-15 03:05 am UTC (link)
*is ashamed to represent the 205*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]guinevere33
2004-05-16 04:41 am UTC (link)
*holds you*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2004-05-16 04:51 am UTC
Re: - [info]guinevere33, 2004-05-16 05:18 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-05-15 03:36 am UTC (link)
Hmm...I've always thought the Clay fans were the most uppity, wanky, obsessive, screeching fishwives....


Still do.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]misswindy
2004-05-15 04:27 am UTC (link)
We sure are obsessive. I'm not sure what "uppity" refers to (we're too proud of the guy?) and I've never heard the term "fishwives" in my life, but I've personally posted a half-dozen Clay Aiken fan wanks to this community in the last year. Fortunately or unfortunately, most Clay fan boards require registration in order to see most of the posts. But then, the Clayfen are much harder to keep track of than the Ruben fans, what with there being so many more of them. =)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]arielchan
2004-05-15 03:52 am UTC (link)
I love Clay and do not wank, which apparently makes me a minority. I probably would've thrown myself full-force into the fandom if I hadn't already heard of and been scared by Claymates by the end of the show.

~*Ariel*~

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]misswindy
2004-05-15 05:59 am UTC (link)
I love Clay and do not wank, which apparently makes me a minority.

Yes, yes it does. Do you recall the one from a few months ago where some girl on the main LJ comm claimed the wank had made her go into labor?

That'll never stop being funny.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2004-05-15 05:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 06:39 pm UTC

[info]tigerlily
2004-05-15 04:52 am UTC (link)
Well at least the Ruben fans can feel better about 19E. Clay just switched management if I understand properly.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]misswindy
2004-05-15 05:29 am UTC (link)
No, 19E still manages his music career - he's just hired a second one to help him manage all his TV and movie offers. 19E is strictly music management, but I'm they've optioned him for at least a year, if not more.

Sentiment of the icon not directed at you... just matching Simons!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tigerlily, 2004-05-15 05:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 05:58 am UTC
Teddy Bear my ass!
[info]prettyveela
2004-05-15 06:23 am UTC (link)
*sits back and roasts marshmellows*

Don't eat those in front of Rueben, he might bite your damn hand off.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

"Heartthrob" my ass.
(Anonymous)
2004-05-15 03:57 pm UTC (link)
Look MA! Wank inside the thread about wank. Love it!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: "Heartthrob" my ass. - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 06:27 pm UTC
Re: Teddy Bear my ass!
[info]tiasian
2004-05-15 07:59 pm UTC (link)
... Okay!

(... seriously, what IS that about?)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Teddy Bear my ass! - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 10:47 pm UTC
Re: Teddy Bear my ass! - [info]tiasian, 2004-05-15 11:16 pm UTC
Re: Teddy Bear my ass! - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 11:40 pm UTC
Re: Teddy Bear my ass! - [info]tiasian, 2004-05-19 06:14 am UTC
Re: Teddy Bear my ass! - (Anonymous), 2004-05-15 11:00 pm UTC
Re: Teddy Bear my ass! - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-15 11:26 pm UTC
Re: Teddy Bear my ass! - [info]eiviiaru, 2004-05-16 02:27 am UTC
Re: Teddy Bear my ass! - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-16 02:31 am UTC
Re: Teddy Bear my ass! - [info]eiviiaru, 2004-05-16 02:41 am UTC
Re: Teddy Bear my ass! - [info]misswindy, 2004-05-16 02:54 am UTC
Re: *pokes head in* - [info]prettyveela, 2004-05-16 01:54 pm UTC
Re: Teddy Bear my ass! - (Anonymous), 2004-05-18 06:32 am UTC

[info]gjeanz
2004-05-16 06:57 am UTC (link)
My mom is a huge Clay fan so we're going to see him in July. Just a random off topic GJ note. God am I the worst about being OT XD

(Reply to this)


[info]mariagoner
2004-05-16 11:24 am UTC (link)
Oh, do not tell me this is happening. Do not fucking tell me some bastard-ass pansies in the AI fandom are STILL wanking about the fact that La Toya (the biggest, vainest bitch on the AI block) getting kicked out automatically means that all non-La-Toya loving AI voters are automatically racist. Never mind that she was up against another black woman, a latina and an asian chick-- CLEARLY the fact that she got kicked out means there's some sort of evil Caucasion/Asian cabal out there dedicated solely to hoisting black people out of a silly televised talent show-- never mind that the popular winner last year was a BLACK MAN. Cuz you know them chinks and whiteys are SO RACIST.

This is all making me so-- this is driving me nuts-- this is-- aaaaaaaaaaaagh--

Is Mariagoner gonna have to choke some bitches here???!!!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]gjeanz
2004-05-16 11:43 am UTC (link)
I'll help you! *grabs some handy choking implements*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(no subject) - [info]prettyveela, 2004-05-16 01:34 pm UTC
*giggle* - [info]alastor, 2004-05-17 12:42 am UTC

 
   
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