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The Other Dubya ([info]misswindy) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-05-14 15:21:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
You're just jealous. No, you are! No, YOU are! Rinse and repeat.
Thanks to [info]nevadafighter's excellent Jelly (Justin/Kelly) wank post, I was inspired to go looking around Ruben Studdard's message board, since that's always an infinite source of the same 12 Ruben fans warding off all the evil guilty trolling jealous Claymate invaders. As usual, the Rubenites didn't disappoint. I found tons of Rubenwank. No pun intended.

19E is totally betraying Ruben just by REPRESENTING Clay. They should let that fucker fend for himself.

Let's ignore the v. v. evil Clay trolls! Yes, let's! We're bigger than them! And let's post 32 times congratulating ourselves on how well we're ignoring them!

Then there's the hilariously hyperbolic:
You'd think that Ruben winning was the OJ Simpson trial all over again.

Ten months later and people STILL think that the guy who outsold Ruben 3 times over, was selling out arena tours four months later, and was the top vote getter every night except the finale should have won! WTF! Why can't they just GET OVER IT?!

Even though our guy is black and won last year, CLEARLY AMERICAN IDOL IS RACIST!

Then the Clay fans wank back:

It's better to be a leprechaun than a gross 400 lb whale. He's going to make all our kids want to be fat! THINK OF TEH CHILDREN!

To which a nice Ruben fan responds:
So what if LaToya wasn't popular on the Internet! I bet that faggot [i.e., Clay] gets more searches than Usher, you racist asshole!

And there's my favorite exchange about Ryan Seacrest announcing Clay this week as "a national heartthrob with an expensive haircut":
Gee, was Clay on this week? I guess I just didn't notice. (Side note: I don't get the short jokes - Clay Aiken is 6'2".)

Clayfen respond: Maybe you're just too used to whale watching. You jealous bitch.

There's just too much wank for me to summarize here, people. These links are just off the first PAGE, and there's, like, 17 pages left. The whole board is just a giant cesspool of wank. It's the Old Smokey of wank. Don't get me wrong, there's SOME criticism of the other Idol contestants on other Clay's various fan boards (which outnumber Ruben's by about 20:1) just like there are on all the other Idol boards, but the Ruben boards always felt like the damn Alamo. Little tiny fortress in the middle of the fandom valiantly fighting a hopeless fight.

ETA: Although someone referring to Ruben as "The Velveeta Sweaty Bear" might have made me laugh hysterically.

*sits back and roasts marshmellows*


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