Zelda? MORE LIKE CEL-DA! Oh, wait...
First wank. [Insert thinly-veiled reference to losing my virginity here].

I should get double wank points for this one. It's a wank about videogames, particularly the new Zelda, posted by Josh Lesnick. Not only is the subject matter wanky in and of itself, but Josh Lesnick is a virtual fount of spooge. Seriously, the man could wank on and on about any subject you could imagine.

A little background: Josh Lesnick is the creator of such Japanophile lesbian comics as girly and the ever-popular Wendy. He also runs a paysite for badly drawn comic porn known as Slipshine (VERY NSFW!!). You don't have to be beaten with the obvious stick to see that this man is very lonely, very angry, and very sexually frustrated.

To give you an idea of how batshit insane and pretentious this guy is, he insists that his name be written as josh l., with lowerercase letters and the period as PART OF THE SPELLING. For many a wank he has insisted that because he has been drawings webcomics for OH SO MUCH LONGER than those damn kids, he deserves admiration and love and respect and beautiful women falling at his feet, etc etc etc. I mean, Jesus, don't you know, it's not the quality of your work that counts, just how long you've been doing it!

So, a few days ago he mentions his dislike of the upcoming Zelda game. As you can see by his mood and music being "penis", he is truly articulate and well-versed. Mini-wank occurs.

So, of course, the logical thing for him to do is expound upon his ass-hattery. General summation of the post: WIND WAKER WAS THE BEST EVER. EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST STUPID. I AM THE BEST EVER AND KNOW EVERYTHING, PLEASE SUCK MY COCK.

This causes a spiral of video-game wanking that is absolutely priceless. For your perusal are the choicest, most meaty bits...

Some idiots argue over video game theory, and manage to back up their points oh-so-well by insulting eachother's nicknames. The idiots eventually stop trying to uphold the facade of being mildly intellectual and just call each other tools for a while.

Also of particular interest is this thread, wherein these people prove that they will never, ever get casual sex. Ever. Uh, I mean, wherein they argue about which of the Final Fantasy games is OMG TEH MOST OSSUM!! But, really, it's the same thing, isn't it?

In the whole mix, only coyotecoyote and qwilman say anything remotely resembling sense. What this wank doesn't contain in trolling, it makes up for in sheer egotism and dork sparring.

EDIT: It should be noted I kid because I love. What I mean is, I am a video game dork at heart, I'm just not quite so anal as these guys. I'm harsh here, but only because my humour is rather harsh. I mean, this is fandom wank - it's part of my fandom.

It's also very possible some people may not find this wank as funny as I. It doesn't have very much trolling and anon stupidity as much as the passive aggressive "I have greater geek knowledge, thus my geek dick is bigger" attitude, wherein they basically insult eachother for having different preferences. That seems to be a common trait among gamers...