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Nakannimi (nakannimi) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-05-27 01:40:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
The Darkness vs. Avril Lavigne
Ever since Avril Lavigne announced that she wanted to work with The Darkness, Darklings everywhere have been weeping.

But things got a little wanky here


In the article comments, The Sasquatch begins ranting on The Darkness:
Justin Hawkins is a shrill b*tch, and their music is as manufactured and planned out as any other pop icon. The fact that they have only three minute songs which rely on instant catchiness rather than long term enjoyment shows that they aren't any good. They aren't an entirely talented band, and why should anyone care about their image of rockstars, first and foremost it's the musicianship that counts, and the Darkness is really lacking there. They are a mediocre band at best, and their popularity is completely reliant on a ridiculous image that went out of fashion many years ago for a reason. It just plain sucked


Linda Berry shows up to defend Avril:
Avril is 5 times better than the Drkness although the Darkness has a couple catchy songs Avril has lots and she writes them all! Shhes olny 19! She is amazing and s going to be bigger than life on day while The Darkness tries to get its rip off 70 songs played on the air 5 times.

And is mocked:
Even if she did write her own song. Adding a line of lyric is what constitutes songwriting here. But even if this mental giant did write her own music, do we praise such brilliance as Sk8tr boi as a landmark achievement in songwriting? Where have our standards gone if we do so. Debbie Gibson wrote her own music too and where is she now?

The Sasquatch rants some more, and Sasquatch Squasher comes in to . . . squash him:
With the crap teen pop out there and the even worse Fred Durst poser, crap bag, rap-rock loser bands out there, The Darkness is here to save the day. If you don't like them, take your medication, play your musician records (such as Chick Corea? Kenny G? Celine Dion? They seem to be technically right up your alley) and shut the Christ up. I never write to these types of posts ever but your borderline retarded attack on all things "big guitar" made me sprint to the bathroom to unload with visions of your verbage getting flushed down the crapper. Take pills, drink heavily, put on Permission To Land, and shove your speakers up your ass.

A few others defend The Darkness, but Sasquatch is not convinced:
You're all tards, F*ck you and your ignorant bullsh*t. The Darkness is no better than any other image related fad in music ala Poison or Vanilla Ice. You're a d*ck and I hope you die.

Sasquatch Sqasher has the ultimate comeback: Sasquatch is gay:
Dear sweet retarded Sasquatch.......PILLS. Lot's of 'em. In fact, it doesn't matter which type. Lithium or Flinstone chewables. Hammer a crapload (preferably the Wilma's)and enjoy the sweet sweet buzz that you so desperately need in your delusional, borderline homosexual anger mode. Go Village People and Sasquatch!!

Chuck DiMaria tries to bring in some rational discussion:
Ok, let's talk about Britney for a while. How long do you think before she does a spread in Playboy? Class? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? ...Sasquatch?

But nobody listens. Sasquatch:
Note to Sasquatch Squasher: You're a loser, and a waste of space. Please die! Celine Dion? F*ck you're stupid.

Sasquatch Squasher:
Your confusion comes from the fact that you menatally sound like a product of the tragic 90's who look up to the clowns of the day. Insert Fred Durst and Hoobastank here. Sasquatch, after your morning dose of pills, rent the movie ALMOST FAMOUS. Listen , look, and learn where it all came from. Only then will you be able to let your Britney, Christina Aquilara, and Mandy Moore CD's get tossed in the garbage. Let it go, big guy. Let it go. Breath.

The bigtoe comes to Sasquatch's aid:
Squasher you are c*ck Suckker and cannot see past what your friends think are cool....Sasquatch i totally agree with u

Sasquatch Squasher mocks his spelling, and bigtoe replies:
Squasher Im sorry that i cam on as an illiterate 7 yr old.

It's pretty amusing. The greatness that is Debbie Gibson is discussed, people are called gay and retarded, and Sasquatch makes it onto Sasquatch Squasher's Christmas list.


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