Spidey-wank!
Ah. God bless aint-it-cool for its free speech talkback boards.

It begins innocently enough. A nameless reviewer sends in their comments on Spiderman 2 here. What causes the wank is this paragraph, right at the end:

All in all, if the first Spider-man was STAR WARS...a charming, playful, whimsical adventure...this film is THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK...a darker, larger scale, "super" hero's quest. But with Raimi at the helm, I have no fears that the next movie will be a RETURN OF THE JEDI.

Cue wank on the talkback boards that is guaranteed to get your spidey-senses tingling with wanky anticipation. Yes, the boards have it all:

krylite: who complains about all the bashing of LotR:

My friends, a real ripoff movie is anything by ID4 Emerrich. Elephants are AT-AT walkers? Try the BOOK itself in 1957 when it clearly describes the humongous elephants. Witch-King of Angmar? Try the book and the Silmarillion(posth 1976, written since WWI) which clearly states how the black riders and the nine looked and the Witch King's history 2000 years before LOTR.

darth_billy with the inspired "You haven't seen Spider Man 2 10+ times, but probably have seen Empire at least that much. Once you have seen a film so many times, THEN you can compare it like for like. "

TheEnigmaII who dares to say FUCK ROTK!

But my vote for wanker of the board goes to Nintendo who must have been sucking on some serious wank-crack to come up with gems like:

- Kirsten Dunst's teeth are yellower than my skin, and you can tell because it's FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE in the first fuckin' movie. Mary Jane was supposed to be a KNOCKOUT, not knock-you-out when you saw her, As in Medusa-freezing.

- I'm black. Try finding a black person in "MY" neighborhood let alone any other neighborhood in this COUNTRY that come to THIS site. I prove they exist, but the numbers are far and long miniscule my friend. The point is that you criticizing people on a fucking MESSAGBOARD on the INTERNET at AIN'T IT FUCKING COOL, criticizing people for being nerds, at this site, need I say more? This site...lol. You're expecting Brad Pitt-looking types with guys who are in their 40's, or 40 (like Pitt), but look younger than probably any guy here to, unlike me, not sweat what you say, but, more importantly, act as intelligent as you think they should be acting?

- come to my or any other black neighborhood to see how "racist" blacks can be towards each other. oh, I got kobe's number. you should call him. you two have alot in common. I'm not some lame nigger defending a bad movie. white girl-lovin' bitch

After that, I went blind. Which is exactly what my mother told me would happen. Anyway, go check it out. There's enough shit there to keep you happy whether you're in LotR, SW or Spidey fandoms.