Log In

Home
    - Create Journal
    - Update
    - Download

LiveJournal
    - News
    - Paid Accounts
    - Contributors

Customize
    - Customize Journal
    - Create Style
    - Edit Style

Find Users
    - Random!
    - By Region
    - By Interest
    - Search

Edit ...
    - Personal Info &
      Settings
    - Your Friends
    - Old Entries
    - Your Pictures
    - Your Password

Developer Area

Need Help?
    - Lost Password?
    - Freq. Asked
      Questions
    - Support Area



Jen Littlebottom ([info]dwarfjen) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-07-24 08:14:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*sporfle!*

LOTR wank... which has nothing to do with LOTR.
An entirely off topic post gets put up in the lordoftherings community, in which lijs_lil_star (apparently 18, although you wouldn't guess) asks for relationship advice. From a community of a couple thousand LOTR fans.

Not much wank in the initial post, although there is this charmingly incoherent response to someone asking why she doesn't just search for an advice community:

well then ppl that dont care about there friends in this community should go away. becuz were all here for eachother. and ive had MANY wonderful replies that have helped greatly from people that really do care, and i dont even have to know them. besides people in the community are better than anyone in some other community. people here i actually trust. so next the snooty attitude comes up about people needing help, take it to someone else not the person that is looking for some advice becuz your no help to them.

The OP then decides to update with another post, telling everyone who disagreed with her in the last post to 'suck it', and including a quote from FOTR to make it on-topic.

A third post, entitled 'who the heck says you have to follow rules all the dang time' follows this, but not many people have taken the bait yet.

And what wank would be complete without a I'm leaving post...

ETA: angsty poem in OP's journal! Only she didn't actually bother writing it, she just copied it out of Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul. (no, really)

ETA2: Whadda know, there are moderators in that community. 3 of the above links are now BALETED.


(Post a new comment)


[info]romanesque
2004-07-24 10:52 am UTC (link)
Damn! Beat me to it.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2004-07-24 11:16 am UTC (link)
...but when he asks a question, and people say "Read through the community to find your answers;" that my friends, is just a bit rediculous.

Oh, yes, far be it for any sort of community to ask their members to, you know, put in even the teeniest bit of effort to prevent them from asking the same questions that a thousand other people have already asked.

Please make the stupid stop.

-ADR

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sarajayechan
2004-07-25 12:26 am UTC (link)
Not ridiculous but...this is why FAQs and rules and stuff like that are useful. Not everything can be found by looking all over the community..

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mrbimble
2004-07-25 07:28 pm UTC (link)
...but when he asks a question, and people say "Read through the community to find your answers;"

I dunno... that sounds a bit too much like MsA and her insistence to "read the fucking thread", as if everyone in the world has the free time she does to slog thru posts and posts and posts.

Read community info? Absolutely. Read the FAQs (if there some)? Sure. Read the entire damn community for asking a question? Not going to happen.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kookaburra
2004-07-24 12:09 pm UTC (link)
Wow...

No wonder I've been avoiding the Chicken Soup books like the plague, if that's the kind of dreck they have in them. All that was missing from that poem was a line about the "purple seas of despair" or something.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]altoidsaddict
2004-07-24 06:32 pm UTC (link)
The purple lake of desolation
is [something something something]
Who sent me there?
Was it my parents?
Was it my ex-best-friend?
Or was it you?
The purple lake of desolation
is [something something something]
But now the surprise -
It is just my life

I think I remembered most of it correctly, and I'm too lazy to look it up - but that's one of the examples of bad teenage poetry resulting from the nation's high divorce rates. In an Onion article.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kookaburra
2004-07-24 08:44 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, that's where I got it from, that and the angsty poetry my friends in high school would subject me to.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]beccastareyes
2004-07-24 12:30 pm UTC (link)
Dear lijs_lil_star,
I'm willing to deal with the fact you apparently don't read the userinfo on communtiies since I have come to realize that a lot of people don't. I'm willing to deal with the angsty poetry, because, ehy you are still technically a teenager (though 18+, so eligible to have your journal linked to over here). But, Jesus Haploid Christ in a Test Tube, blue-on-blue is NOT a good layout for a LJ when you pick two very similar shades of blue. Be lucky most people probably come in through their friends page.
Hugs n' Kisses,
Becca Stareyes

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]plazmah
2004-07-26 12:50 am UTC (link)
Jesus Haploid Christ in a Test Tube

I think I love you :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]beccastareyes
2004-07-26 01:30 am UTC (link)
^_^ I picked up Jesus Haploid Christ form a high school friend and a fellow fw'er, so half of that love belongs to [info]eiviiaru

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]plazmah
2004-07-26 01:40 am UTC (link)
I guess I now know what the H stands for :) I'm going to use that phrase so much!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]msmongi
2004-07-24 01:48 pm UTC (link)
Clearly lijs_lil_star should have put it like this:

Aragorn and Arwen have known each other for a long time. They aren't dating, but Aragorn tells Arwen that he wants to be with her. A few days later Aragorn tells Arwen that they are only friends.

So is he just yanking her chain or was he practicing what he wanted to say to Legolas?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]zozma
2004-07-24 07:40 pm UTC (link)
Hee! I would have responded to her initial question thusly:

"Well, Rosie, if Sam disappears from the Shire in the next few weeks to go on a long, seemingly hopeless quest, then if he survives to return, I'd say you still have a chance. Otherwise, chain-yanking, yea verily."

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ladybirdsleeps
2004-07-24 01:59 pm UTC (link)
It looks like someone just learned that the world doesn't care about her or her problems the easy way. I mean, at least she wasn't shot and left for dead in an alley or something. Tempting as it is ...

*snicker*

(Reply to this)


[info]geekmagirl
2004-07-24 03:36 pm UTC (link)
*sniff* I really miss that community. Except for the part where I don't.

(Reply to this)


[info]kannaophelia
2004-07-24 05:46 pm UTC (link)
what kind of food do hobbits eat? food like us?

No, dear. That's what [info]fandom_wank is for.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


allen
2004-07-24 06:38 pm UTC (link)
Mmm, hobbit. That's some good eatin'.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]dunc
2004-07-24 07:43 pm UTC (link)
Indeed. Though I prefer Ewok.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-07-24 10:08 pm UTC (link)
Rats, the posts were deleted. They were really starting to be hilarious. I especially enjoyed the "I didn't sign a contract to adhere to the rules, so I don't have to" logic.

**giggles**

And that must have been the first time I really, really came down hard on some stupid "I cn doo wat I want & ur meen" teeny wopper, and it get's deleted.

What I really love in her journal is the stomach-curdling soppy-ness of that insane poem, mixed with the wilting-flower self-pity, mixed with obsceneties in direction of the evil "ppl" who told her off.

Never mind about giving the LotR fandom a bat name. That girl manages to give stupid teenagers a bad name, because I'll never believe she's 19.

fourth_moon (no JournalFen account, sorry)

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]big_bad_wolf
2004-07-25 10:10 pm UTC (link)
Is it bad that I read the typo "bat" as being an abbreviation of "batshit"? Because the LOTR fandom already has a batshit name.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

The Poem
[info]littlest_lurker
2004-07-25 12:24 am UTC (link)
Well, at least she didn't copy that damn "I'm only Seventeen" poem*. But it does remind me why I automatically skipped to the "Hard Stuff" section of those books (Reading about drugs and eating disorders? Yay! I am was a sick kid.)


*Yes it is a sad poem about the dangers of drinking and driving. But not after hearing it for the squillionth time. After that, you just start to giggle.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: The Poem
[info]sarajayechan
2004-07-25 12:30 am UTC (link)
I'm weird, I actually liked those books. c.c;; But sometimes people would use the poems and stories to preach morals and happiness and bluebirds for a better world, or pretend an especially angsty poem OMG WAS SO LIKE THEIR LIFE...which is annoying.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: The Poem
[info]altoidsaddict
2004-07-25 12:53 am UTC (link)
Chicken Soup for the Prisoner's Soul!

I didn't pick it up when I saw it at Barnes & Noble, but something tells me there isn't a chapter called "Heartwarming Tales About Dropping The Soap." Or a poem called "I Smuggled Something, Guess Where?"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: The Poem
[info]littlest_lurker
2004-07-25 01:07 am UTC (link)
*snerk*

Well, they have written just about every "Chicken Soup for the [blank]'s Soul" they can, so I'm not too surprised.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: The Poem
(Anonymous)
2004-07-25 01:46 am UTC (link)
Haven't seen one for fangirls yet. They're dissing us. ;_;

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: The Poem
[info]amand_r
2004-07-25 04:32 am UTC (link)
I always wanted to write Chicken Soup for the Serial Killer Soul.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: The Poem
[info]serai
2004-07-26 12:16 am UTC (link)
Chicken Soup for the Arsonists's Soul, maybe?

Oh fire, you do warm my heart so much
That I must every day bring you to birth
Into my pockets I've stuffed many a match
So that your beauty may find life on earth

But when I try to make you blaze up bright
The party poopers raise a hue and cry
And whine and bitch about their stupid homes
And once again I must be on the fly

For 'tis a pain in th'ass, I can relate
To have police snort hotly on my tail
I only want to bring a little light
Yet no one will step forth to pay my bail

For this is truth, for those who may enquire:
They only joke who ask, "Hey, where's the fire?"

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Chicken Soup for the Wankers Soul
(Anonymous)
2004-07-25 05:09 am UTC (link)
Crystal is gone, she's so yesterday
The Wank was so pastede on ... yay!
Will there ever be a funneh so fine
Wank me, wank me, drop me a line.

I wank so much I need glasses
I've no time for work, or prenatal classes
I like it Bitter, I like to mock
It's what I DO, so wot teh fock.

By Poetic Justin. 2004

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Chicken Soup for the Wankers Soul
winterfox
2004-07-25 08:21 am UTC (link)
*giggles* Thank you.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Chicken Soup for the Wankers Soul
[info]rinoared
2004-07-25 10:58 am UTC (link)
You are so my favourite anonymice for now today for-evah!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Chicken Soup for the Wankers Soul
(Anonymous)
2004-07-25 09:41 pm UTC (link)
Oh that's lovely. Can you do that for the serial killer, too? Or the poor prisoner?

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Chicken Soup for the Wankers Soul
[info]sarajayechan
2004-07-26 02:43 am UTC (link)
XD That's lovely!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]frodaish
2004-07-25 07:37 am UTC (link)
18 my ass.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]dwarfjen
2004-07-25 10:31 am UTC (link)
If she's making it up, she's gone to the extent of writing a teary post about her high-school graduation.

I fear.

YOU, OUTTA THE GENE POOL.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]snarkbunny
2004-07-25 11:17 pm UTC (link)
Indeed... I know people in their 30s who I would have sworn were 13. I count nothing as impossible anymore when it comes to the ignorance and laziness of people I encounter online.

(On the other hand, I've met some really cool and mature 13 year olds.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-07-25 12:35 pm UTC (link)
I was in one of the "I'm leaving" posts because I got so damn sick of this idiot - he/she/it/whatever has been asking stupid questions for about two months - the kind where if he/she/it/whatever cracked open a book (OH NOES!) the answers would be right there.

He/she/it/whatever has now read the first chapter (YIPPEE!) of FOTR and has posted another round of stupid questions. Obviously the comprehension just.isn't.there.

(Reply to this)


[info]esseilte
2004-07-25 12:58 pm UTC (link)
There's a seriously amusing poem in the comments section for the 'angsty poem'. Nice parody from an anonymouse. I second the sentiments...now, is anyone going to own up to writing it?

(Reply to this)


[info]kate74
2004-07-25 08:02 pm UTC (link)
Interestingly (or possibly not) the first page of the OP's journal has no less than 7 offerings from "Chicken Soup..." on it. The Please Listen (to me whine) one is one there three times and the one about drinking and driving twice. *shudders at the teeny-angst*

Is it wrong of me to be amused at the post where the OP is pissed off and listening to "the hardest shit I own" which includes Pink and Evanescence?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]ladybirdsleeps
2004-07-25 08:27 pm UTC (link)
If that's "hardest", then what's just plain "hard"? "Fuck off or I'll get Britney on your ass"?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]iczer6
2004-07-25 09:26 pm UTC (link)
The Please Listen (to me whine)

Nice to see I'm not the only one who thought that poem was stupid and annoying.

'Don't attempt to help me actually improve my situation I just want someone to listen to me bitch.'

*bitchslap*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ecchaniz0r
2004-07-25 11:43 pm UTC (link)
I see that bitchslap and raise you an arse-kickin'.

I haaaated that poem. Pure wangst.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]serai
2004-07-26 12:06 am UTC (link)
Oh, darn, she's locked the journal. Did anyone get a screenshot before she did?

(Reply to this)

  
   
Privacy Policy - COPPA
Legal Disclaimer - Site Map