Orlando Wank....
Yeah, yeah, I know. Orlando Bloom/Anyone with a pulse = instant wank of epic proportions, just add water.

That said, the wank is a siren's song that I can't resist, the thwaping and splurting a primal rhythm that makes my pulse race.

Found on Datalounge, AKA Wank central.

It appears that Orlando and Kirsten Dunst went out to a gay bar in Lexington together, had lots to drink and danced on a table. They closed out the place at 4 AM.

What impresses me about this is the varying threads of spooge that make up the warp and weft of this tapestry O'Wank. It truly is a sticky work of art.

First we have the "OMG! I TOLD YOU HE WAS DUMPING BOSWORTH FOR DUNST!" "No, *I* told *YOU* he was dumping Bosworth FIRST!" Then we have the "He's upgrading his beard!" Then we move on to "Well, this proves he's not gay! A gay man trying to hide his gaity would not be caught DEAD in a gay bar, beard or not!".

And let's not forget the "I *KNEW* Kirsten was a lesbian!" followed by insulting the entire city of Lexington by calling all the residents therein rednecks and trailer park denizens when in fact it is the center of thoroughbred horse breeding and is an epicenter of money from around the world.

Add to this the mention of the Viggo/Orlando tinhat brigade, the people who swear up and down and sideways that Orlando is straight versus the ones who swear down and up and diagonally that he's either gay or bi, the claim that he was dating men before LotR and the mention of his ever present PR who lives to keep him closeted and miserable and unhappy with Kate-the-puppy-abuser.

And my all time favorite quote from this: If that is anything other than a straight woman posting at 11:41 I will eat out Orlando's ass.

Okay, I'd do that anyway, but still.