Gives a Whole New Meaning To "I Want It That Way," Yes?
The Backstreet Backstory:

Recently, Backstreet Boy Nick Carter and epic hoochie Paris Hilton broke off an 8 month relationship, citing a lack of trust on both sides. Last week, she was photographed all over Hollywood bearing a bunch of bruises on her arms, upper chest, and face along with a swollen lip and eye. Immediately, rumors started that Nick Carter had beaten her up. When asked if this is true, she said, "No comment." His reps are starting to use words like libel and defamation of character as a response.

Over on PopDirt.com, a site dedicated to pop music gossip, the splooge was coating the walls almost instantly.

How could that bitch Paris do this to Nick???

It's so obvious Shannen Dougherty is responsible.

It was the sparkly boy behind the grassy knoll!

Full-body bruises that healed in 2 days? Is Paris Hilton secretly one of the X-Men?

It's times like these I wish N*Sync didn't suck so much, so I could just be their fan instead.

If you don't support Nick's right to beat up Paris Hilton, you're not a real Backstreet Boys fan!

The wank floweth like milk and honey and promises to go on indefinitely, especially in these comments. The list of suspects is endless, because really, who doesn't want to beat the shit out of Paris Hilton?