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Cellar Door ([info]opencellardoor) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-09-30 23:39:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:OMGWTF

Maria Lopez, countess, Orlando's girlfriend, Marc Anthony's baby momma returns.
This is my first post here, so please let me know if I did anything terribly wrong.

I looked all over to see if this had been posted, but couldn't find anything regarding it.

Basically, Maria Lopez, the fake girlfriend of Orlando Bloom and predecessor to the great Crystal of Crystal Wank returns with a fake journal that chronicles "Maria's" Life.

The Great Maria Lopez Returns!

Anonymous posters try to tell her she's full of it, but she threatens them with big, bad voodoo daddy phrases like "I will not tolerate" and "ban you!".

This site is not libel and don't say it is or I will make you leave! Yeah and stuff!

Lay off this fake celebrity or I won't like you!

Hey, that photo of her with Viggo, she's got a real big head if that's real. - No, she has a big head and it's real, damn you sideways!

And the inevitable, "Maria is better than Kate Bosworth!" post.

Oi. The sheer stupidity of it all makes my brain hurt.

Seriously, check out the entire journal. Quite amazing the ....what's the word...insanity of it all.
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(Post a new comment)


[info]kijikun
2004-09-01 07:50 am UTC (link)
This is a rpg....right? Right???

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Not as far as I can figure it. - [info]opencellardoor, 2004-09-01 07:56 am UTC
Re: Not as far as I can figure it. - [info]jood, 2004-09-02 12:04 am UTC

[info]peeksie
2004-09-01 08:00 am UTC (link)
And she has exactly one!!11! sockpuppet who verifies all of her claims. Fantastic!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jaig, 2004-09-01 12:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marlo, 2004-09-01 06:54 pm UTC

[info]mrbimble
2004-09-01 08:01 am UTC (link)
oi. she gives Crystal a run for her money with Photoshop, doesn't she?

oh, *I* believe the Maria/Viggo pic is real, don't YOU? >snerk

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kyuuketsukirui, 2004-09-01 08:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oulangi, 2004-09-01 01:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deoridhe, 2004-09-01 07:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oulangi, 2004-09-02 02:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rossywar, 2004-09-03 04:59 pm UTC

[info]silverwind
2004-09-01 08:03 am UTC (link)
*headache* I hope my user pic isn't broken here... but if it is...

I think you'rethat girl is crazy. @__@

(Reply to this)


[info]blue_linnet
2004-09-01 08:14 am UTC (link)
I was reading this as MARIO Lopez...as in Slater on Saved by the Bell. I think I prefer it that way.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

LMAO - [info]opencellardoor, 2004-09-01 08:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhi_silverflame, 2004-09-01 08:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gaisce, 2004-09-01 10:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2004-09-01 10:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]munchkinott, 2004-09-01 05:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-02 06:53 am UTC

[info]ipomoea
2004-09-01 08:56 am UTC (link)
OMG stop hating! Those pictures are so real! She took a real picture of Orlando and put a real picture of herself in using a very real copy of Photoshop! IT'S REAL, I TELL YOU!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]livii, 2004-09-01 05:55 pm UTC

[info]simply_blah
2004-09-01 10:12 am UTC (link)
I no but stacy you no the only problem though is EVERYTHING about her is erased of the internet.... I didn't know a family could have that much power
Kinda Scary!


Wow, I wish I had that much 'power'.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2004-09-01 01:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-01 03:09 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-01 10:33 am UTC (link)
Wow. I can't believe that's real. I still have doubts. I think it's a big joke.

It's obvious that all the people who defend her and insist she's real are all the same person making multiple accounts. bellanoche (http://www.greatestcities.com/userinfo.bml?user=bellanoche&mode=full), reinadipalermo (http://www.greatestcities.com/userinfo.bml?user=reinadipalermo&mode=full), princessarwen (http://www.greatestcities.com/userinfo.bml?user=princessarwen&mode=full), orlandoluva (http://www.greatestcities.com/userinfo.bml?user=orlandoluva&mode=full) and lasha (http://www.greatestcities.com/userinfo.bml?user=lasha&mode=full) all have no posts and all their comments are in the maria lopez community.

(Reply to this)


[info]kraken_sleeps
2004-09-01 11:01 am UTC (link)
In August of this year Maria, along with her sister Luisa and her boyfriend Elijah Wood flew to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico to see their friend, Orlando Bloom

Elijah's dating her sister? Riiiiight, and I'm marrying Dom. He'll be the one in the dress.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-01 11:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2004-09-01 11:31 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-01 11:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2004-09-01 11:40 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-01 12:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2004-09-01 12:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-01 12:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2004-09-01 12:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]delcj, 2004-09-02 09:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2004-09-02 10:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delcj, 2004-09-02 11:05 am UTC

[info]elfy
2004-09-01 01:11 pm UTC (link)
Wait -- wasn't she supposed to be pregnant as well?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]oulangi, 2004-09-01 01:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_, 2004-09-01 05:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deoridhe, 2004-09-01 07:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_, 2004-09-01 07:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deoridhe, 2004-09-01 07:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2004-09-01 08:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_, 2004-09-01 08:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2004-09-01 08:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oulangi, 2004-09-01 10:43 pm UTC
Yeah. - [info]opencellardoor, 2004-09-02 04:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oulangi, 2004-09-02 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darthfi, 2004-09-05 04:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]allison, 2004-09-01 06:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]danceswithelvis, 2004-09-02 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fatesarchitect, 2004-09-02 06:47 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-02 06:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fatesarchitect, 2004-09-02 06:51 am UTC

[info]alina_kalime
2004-09-01 02:20 pm UTC (link)
Is she still claiming that Monica Bellucci is her mother? Because that was the best, since Ms. Bellucci would've been, well, 7 or something when she was born. UBERYOUNG Pregnancy! And I'll bet she was 'betrothed' to her dear count through some sort of arranged marriage. XD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sakemaki, 2004-09-01 02:29 pm UTC

[info]sakemaki
2004-09-01 02:28 pm UTC (link)
Some of her picture evidences really crack me up..

http://www.greatestcities.com/users/marialopez/6081.html

oh yeah, totally Maria Lopez.. ¬_¬

Forgive my ignorance here, for I am not italian, but I thought that Lopez was rather a.. spanish-y Surname than italian oo;

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nightfish, 2004-09-01 08:07 pm UTC
I'm scared. - (Anonymous), 2004-09-02 10:53 am UTC
Re: I'm scared. - (Anonymous), 2004-09-09 07:54 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-01 02:53 pm UTC (link)
Hey look, she can't even get her grammar right. On the 29th of August, 2003 she posted a "scanned page from People's Magazine", in which Maria appeared.

Quote: "Maria Lopez get's her life back on track after giving birth to her fourth child..."

Yes, I'm sure that People Magazine makes that kind of mistake all the time. *pats whatsername on the head*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]imbrium, 2004-09-03 07:34 pm UTC

[info]khym_chanur
2004-09-01 03:23 pm UTC (link)
This has got to be a troll... right? No one could possibly believe that anyone would fall for this. Please tell me this is a troll. Please. I don't want my faith in human intelligence to fall any lower.

(Reply to this)


[info]lindentree
2004-09-01 03:45 pm UTC (link)
Maria Lopez was not cut, copied, or pasted into any photos. She was with him. So stop hatin' on her. Everything is real, nothing is made up.

We are at war with Oceania. We have always been at war with Oceania.

Okay, crazy!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2004-09-01 11:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentree, 2004-09-02 02:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-09-02 03:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentree, 2004-09-02 08:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nevadafighter, 2004-09-02 05:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentree, 2004-09-02 08:33 am UTC

kroki_refur
2004-09-01 04:27 pm UTC (link)
On a personal note from me to you person to person, I wouldnt get your nose to deep into Maria's life unless you know her family personally because they are dangerous people.

I'm terrified. No, really. This is my terrified face.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-02 08:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tigerlily, 2004-09-02 05:01 pm UTC

[info]smo
2004-09-01 04:31 pm UTC (link)
AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Their entire relationship is pastede on yey!

*loves it*

(Reply to this)


[info]ari_o
2004-09-01 04:37 pm UTC (link)
I remember this girl from a previous wank. I am almost certain it turned out to be an RPG.

(Reply to this)


[info]dreagonfli
2004-09-01 05:53 pm UTC (link)
Oh. My. Fucking. GOD.

Seriously? Best wank ever. Biggest crazy ever.

*Backs away quickly*

(Reply to this)


[info]lulinda
2004-09-01 06:24 pm UTC (link)
I'm not even sure what this little sock is trying to say but I'm amused anyway.

Did you see Maria on C-span.
She gave a good speech.
I mean she is rite in America everyone is so ignorrant and selfish they think they have the rite to bitch abou thow bad it is and stuff like that. I mean even though she is friends wwith Ben and he is like the biggest Kerry supporter, still she wont side with it because she says they sshouldnt joing with the UN. THey shouldnt I mean our one nation Europian government SUXS! and it's never helped is we have more corruption here .
I dont get it but I think she did a good job!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

more dirt on this - [info]ari_o, 2004-09-01 07:52 pm UTC
Re: more dirt on this - [info]oulangi, 2004-09-02 02:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2004-09-02 03:07 am UTC

[info]ari_o
2004-09-01 07:54 pm UTC (link)
Here is the original wank post:

http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/397739.html

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2004-09-01 11:28 pm UTC

[info]eclair
2004-09-01 11:33 pm UTC (link)
Egh. Her name is one name short of my full name. (Maria = middle name, Lopez = last...) That's kind of creepy to see on fandom_wank.

Other than that, her photoshopping is the best skillz EVAR. I mean, she's so radiant the blurryness of the picture runs away from her face! Leaving it sparkling and beautiful. Go you, Maria. Go you.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-01 11:46 pm UTC (link)
...Pastede on, yay? Crystal has a rival. =]

(Reply to this)


[info]skarrow
2004-09-02 12:33 am UTC (link)
Monday, August 16th, 2004
1:18 am: Maria and her newest edition! (Picture)


Funny, it doesn't look like a newspaper to ME...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-02 01:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]danceswithelvis, 2004-09-02 02:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]danceswithelvis, 2004-09-02 02:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentree, 2004-09-02 02:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alina_kalime, 2004-09-02 02:47 am UTC
LOL! - [info]vinylgrrl, 2004-09-04 03:02 am UTC
LMFAO!
[info]vinylgrrl
2004-09-02 02:50 am UTC (link)
I have to give props to this chick for her mad photoshopping skillz! I especially enjoyed the too big Kate Bosworth hed pastede on with "allt he makeup"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: LMFAO! - [info]ipomoea, 2004-09-02 07:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delcj, 2004-09-02 09:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ipomoea, 2004-09-02 05:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]delcj, 2004-09-02 06:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vinylgrrl, 2004-09-08 02:26 am UTC
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