Maria Lopez, countess, Orlando's girlfriend, Marc Anthony's baby momma returns.
This is my first post here, so please let me know if I did anything terribly wrong.

I looked all over to see if this had been posted, but couldn't find anything regarding it.

Basically, Maria Lopez, the fake girlfriend of Orlando Bloom and predecessor to the great Crystal of Crystal Wank returns with a fake journal that chronicles "Maria's" Life.

The Great Maria Lopez Returns!

Anonymous posters try to tell her she's full of it, but she threatens them with big, bad voodoo daddy phrases like "I will not tolerate" and "ban you!".

This site is not libel and don't say it is or I will make you leave! Yeah and stuff!

Lay off this fake celebrity or I won't like you!

Hey, that photo of her with Viggo, she's got a real big head if that's real. - No, she has a big head and it's real, damn you sideways!

And the inevitable, "Maria is better than Kate Bosworth!" post.

Oi. The sheer stupidity of it all makes my brain hurt.

Seriously, check out the entire journal. Quite amazing the ....what's the word...insanity of it all.