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Cake or Death? ([info]tempslut) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-09-08 16:30:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*sporfle!*

Rock and Roll Wank Part 58753890725
The Riverfront Times is St. Louis's most notable freebie entertainment rag (for what it's worth). It has always been somewhat wanky, but an article printed in last week's edition took the wank to a new level.

Mike Seely, an RFT music critic, wrote an article entitled "The Ten Most Hated Men in Rock". Now, a title like that would have been wanky enough for most people. But not for Mr. Seely. He goes ten steps further.

Examples: 1) The Beatles were a "grotesquely overrated boy band"!

2) Elton John was better on coke!

3) Jerry Garcia was the only talented member of the Grateful Dead!

And much, much more!

And it doesn't stop there. In this week's edition of the RFT, the first batch of letters roll in (yes, folks, the first batch--I may be editing this post for all eternity), almost all of them telling Mr. Seely where to stick it, so to speak.

And somewhere, Seely is having his post-wankage carton.




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[info]mindset
2004-09-09 12:46 am UTC (link)
...mounting the likes of Winona Ryder and Parker Posey...
...Avril Lavigne evidently wants to ride him...
...he drilled Britney Spears six ways 'til Sunday...


Just say "fuck", man. Please. It's okay.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-09-09 05:26 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-09 01:31 am UTC (link)
Hee. More than one person told him to get psychiatric help for his Paul hate. Beatle-fen!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iscoffy, 2004-09-09 01:44 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-09 01:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iscoffy, 2004-09-09 01:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mrbimble, 2004-09-09 02:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iscoffy, 2004-09-09 02:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_o, 2004-09-09 04:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iscoffy, 2004-09-09 08:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightfish, 2004-09-09 01:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2004-09-09 02:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightfish, 2004-09-09 02:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rinoared, 2004-09-09 10:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nostalgia, 2004-09-09 11:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rinoared, 2004-09-09 11:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-09-09 05:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightfish, 2004-09-09 11:48 pm UTC

[info]hystericalblond
2004-09-09 01:41 am UTC (link)
I call troll! Err... wait.....

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ladyrogue, 2004-09-12 01:15 am UTC

[info]nightfish
2004-09-09 01:54 am UTC (link)
plus, if you read his "honorable mention" list, he seems to hate just about everybody.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2004-09-10 08:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2004-09-10 07:43 pm UTC

[info]livingadream
2004-09-09 02:17 am UTC (link)
Maybe I'm mistaken, but didn't the pedophilia charges against Michael Jackson come over a decade *after* the duet the writer mentions? He's really stretching.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]livingadream, 2004-09-09 02:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rinoared, 2004-09-09 11:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bakunina, 2004-09-12 07:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]livingadream, 2004-09-13 07:54 pm UTC
Bob Weir
(Anonymous)
2004-09-09 02:41 am UTC (link)
The Dead's insistence on staying on the road post-Jerry Garcia...

This summer was the first tour with all of them since Jerry died in 1995. I think there was a show here and there, but nothing with all the remaining members of the band. They toured minus Kreutzmann (one of the drummers) as The Other Ones starting in 1998, three years after Jerry died. And two or three of them here and there have done some gigs together, as well as pursuing their own things. But most of them getting together in 1998 was a big big deal, since they were touring without Jerry. I saw two of those shows and they were amazing.

And it's Ratdog. Not Rat Dog. And since they tour constantly and have put out two albums, I don't think the band is a side project. I'd offer to send that guy some discs, like one reader did, but he'd just use them as coasters anyway.

Dunno about the Teleprompter, but I wouldn't be surprised. Listen to any Dead tape. Bobby will screw up the words to something. It's expected. I'm surprised it took him this long to get a teleprompter.

And dang, I entered my LiveJournal name and it says I don't exist. But I do. I'm so confused. So forgive the anonymous post, it's only my second post here.

-Jennnlee

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Bob Weir - [info]iamtheenemy, 2004-09-09 03:03 am UTC
Re: Bob Weir - (Anonymous), 2004-09-09 03:30 am UTC
Re: Bob Weir - [info]singe, 2004-09-09 07:53 pm UTC
Re: Bob Weir - (Anonymous), 2004-09-09 05:06 am UTC

[info]ichigatsu
2004-09-09 02:45 am UTC (link)
The rest of the list is wanky and erroneous, but I have to agree with him on the emo thing. Because, damn, that's one genre of music the world can do without.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-09 02:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]suzywongdress, 2004-09-09 04:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhi_silverflame, 2004-09-09 09:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lukita, 2004-09-09 10:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2004-09-09 04:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jezebeth, 2004-09-09 04:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2004-09-09 04:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]combledore, 2004-09-10 07:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2004-09-10 09:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ichigatsu, 2004-09-10 03:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jezebeth, 2004-09-10 06:08 am UTC

meshou
2004-09-09 03:05 am UTC (link)
The man doesn't like David Byrne?

*wanders off to sharpen her machetes*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ivyincubus, 2004-09-09 03:50 am UTC
Byrne - [info]fuzzytowers, 2004-09-09 04:10 pm UTC

[info]gloria_mundi
2004-09-09 03:06 am UTC (link)
He has insulted Jimmy Buffet. He has besmirched the alchohol drenched name of Margaritaville and the honor of Parrotheads everywhere. Both the drunk and non drunk ones.

THERE MUST BE RETROBUTION! THE SCALE MUST BE BALANCED! BRING ME THIS "WRITER'S" HEAD!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rosalita, 2004-09-09 05:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gloria_mundi, 2004-09-09 05:19 am UTC

[info]electricchick
2004-09-09 03:53 am UTC (link)
You know, if you include the Honorable Mention list... he's chosen a large majority of the rockers out there today. I think he just doesn't like rock.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]maureenlycaon, 2004-09-10 12:13 am UTC

[info]dreamtoday
2004-09-09 03:58 am UTC (link)
am i the only one that thinks the list is hilarious?

*crickets chirp*

okay then.

cm

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]crysiana, 2004-09-09 04:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreamtoday, 2004-09-09 10:46 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-09 12:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreamtoday, 2004-09-09 01:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaseroque, 2004-09-10 12:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caterwaul, 2004-09-09 05:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]squib, 2004-09-09 05:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sidewinder, 2004-09-09 05:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aloysius, 2004-09-09 08:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sidewinder, 2004-09-09 02:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightfish, 2004-09-10 12:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sidewinder, 2004-09-10 05:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2004-09-09 05:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreamtoday, 2004-09-09 10:44 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-09 06:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzytowers, 2004-09-09 04:16 pm UTC
No, the list is hilarious... - [info]wankprophet, 2004-09-09 06:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chia_rhino, 2004-09-09 06:23 pm UTC

[info]blackhat
2004-09-09 04:51 am UTC (link)
This reminds me of the person who wrote a scathing article about how Harry Potter was a horrible influence on American children, and concluded it by saying, "Why, in my time, we learned about crime from Trixie Belden books!" It was a colossal joke, but most people took it seriously.

Wouldn't be surprised if this guy is doing the same thing. He's making fun of cranky critics by portraying himself as the ultimate cranky critic.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sarracenia, 2004-09-09 07:42 am UTC

[info]mister_terrific
2004-09-09 05:09 am UTC (link)
Being a native of St. Louis, I can attest that this sort of thing is nothing new for the RFT. Every so often they get a feisty lil' critic who Believes In The Music and Hates Those Who Sold Out (and made a frickin' bundle), and this sort of article is the result.

Two things came to mind when I read this over the weekend:

1) the old Matt Groening Life in Hell strip, "How to Be a Feisty Rock Critic."

2) "All the way to the bank, baby. All the way to the bank."

Mister Terrific
Defender of Fair Play
Closet Parrothead

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]fatesarchitect, 2004-09-09 05:46 am UTC

[info]sidewinder
2004-09-09 05:52 am UTC (link)
Sting, meanwhile, is another story. This turtleneck-sweatered Jaguar shill has so desecrated his Policeman legacy that we're not entirely convinced the current soft-rock incarnation isn't the original Sting's evil twin. He is, without question, the most hated man in rock.
 
I think I'm in love.

Better yet, I think I can't wait to post this link to my favorite cesspools of Police/Sting wankery. Because I'm evil that way...

(Reply to this)


[info]elfy
2004-09-09 07:18 am UTC (link)
1) The Beatles were a "grotesquely overrated boy band"!

Well, I agree with that, at least...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mydruthers, 2004-09-09 03:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]elfy, 2004-09-09 03:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-09 06:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mydruthers, 2004-09-12 08:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankprophet, 2004-09-09 06:07 pm UTC

[info]c_chan
2004-09-09 08:39 am UTC (link)
Sometimes I'm glad my mother doesn't know how to find the webpages I visit, because she was ranting up a storm earlier about some of these things...

...of course, I wasn't reading them to her to get a rise out of her. No sir.

(Reply to this)


[info]bloodysakura
2004-09-09 08:45 am UTC (link)
It's obvious the author is taking out his frustration at his miniscule penis size on famous rock stars. Who are richer, more popular, more successful and get laid more often than he could ever hope for.

I smell compensation issues.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-09 12:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mrbimble, 2004-09-10 06:18 am UTC
John Rzeznik is da bomb
[info]soy_latte
2004-09-09 05:00 pm UTC (link)
That list is hilarious, but then again I'm not taking it seriously. I hope the guy who wrote it isn't either, otherwise that's kind of sad. I mean, where the hell is Scott Stapp, people?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]soy_latte, 2004-09-09 05:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2004-09-09 05:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]here4tehwank, 2004-09-09 05:59 pm UTC

[info]teratologist
2004-09-09 07:51 pm UTC (link)
The fact that an alleged rock critic could call 'Summer of '69' a "gem" and then call anyone or anything else, no matter how deserving, "intellectually dishonest" is a bit rich.

I mean, come on, is there a worse song than 'Summer of '69'? Is it even theoretically possible?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2004-09-09 08:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]northatlantic, 2004-09-09 08:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-10 07:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]northatlantic, 2004-09-10 05:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-09-09 09:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]livingadream, 2004-09-09 09:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]calico, 2004-09-10 02:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2004-09-10 07:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2004-09-09 10:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2004-09-10 12:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightfish, 2004-09-10 12:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]madelfdisease, 2004-09-10 03:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ysadri, 2004-09-14 04:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2004-09-10 02:14 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-10 07:11 am UTC

[info]skarrow
2004-09-10 04:02 am UTC (link)
Surprised David Bowie wasn't to be seen. Especially what with him hawking Hilfiger nowadays.

(Reply to this)


[info]smit
2004-09-10 05:20 am UTC (link)
As one of the Honorable Mentions, my icon says it all.

(Reply to this)


[info]gaisce
2004-09-10 05:27 am UTC (link)
...Dave Grohl, Chris Cornell, Mark McGrath, Melissa Etheridge and the lead singer of Maroon 5...

Jeez, he's not even trying at the end of it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]embyquinn, 2004-09-10 07:52 am UTC

[info]zorayda
2004-09-10 05:40 am UTC (link)
Now, I didn't like the Chad Kroeger/Santana collaboration either, but there are much, much worse songs than that. The kind of songs that make you want to stick a knitting needle in your ear. *shudders thinking about them*

I think that list would have been more accurate if Liam Gallagher had been in the top ten. That guy's voice could make milk go sour.

(Reply to this)


[info]thecomfychair
2004-09-10 06:05 am UTC (link)
aaaaw hometown wank!
*goes all nostalgic while laughing her ass off at the list *
oh wank on RFT, wank on

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-10 06:52 am UTC (link)
My favourite bit is where he quotes Aidin Vaziri of the S.F. Chronicle. AV's claim to fame is, in my book, being the biggest pissant in the world. I've never read an interview by him in which he does anything but ask a musician irrelevant, demeaning questions and make grossly offensive generalizations. I fondly recall a long review of Britney Spears's latest album which contained about five sentences worth of review and at least five paragraphs of calling her a ho and making Justin Timberlake jokes. It doesn't take being a Britney fan to smell, well...a troll. Music fans all over the Bay Area weep.

- dearladydisdain on lj.

(Reply to this)



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