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Limyaael ([info]limyaael) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-09-17 15:00:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*sporfle!*
Entry tags:bitter so bitter, community: deleterius, troll

You're destroying fledgling authors, you bitches!
Yes, deleterius wank again!

A new user appears. User is obviously a troll. User posts a story about how Deleterius members destroy young authors' hopes and dreams in the community.

There's all the usual lessons from Troll school: Deleterius members are obviously ugly, can't get laid, and geeks who know what Tolkien would have wanted written in fanfiction- the same accusations the troll makes in her LJ bio.

You'd think they'd at least come up with original accusations.


(Post a new comment)


[info]ladyofviolets
2004-09-17 10:40 pm UTC (link)
//Deleterius members are obviously ugly, can't get laid, and geeks who know what Tolkien would have wanted written in fanfiction.//

* looks at herself in the mirror * I don't think I'm ugly, honestly said...

And as someone else said already, I WANT MY NERD SEX! *lol*

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-17 11:04 pm UTC (link)
I'm sorry, but I gotta agree with one of the wankers. ... Err, sashwizzled.

"You don't need to be a chef to tell the restaurant their food sucks."

(Reply to this)


[info]livingadream
2004-09-17 11:14 pm UTC (link)
Meh. It's pretty boring right now. It's not the same without sockpuppets.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]livingadream
2004-09-18 06:03 pm UTC (link)
Ahh... that's better!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-17 11:31 pm UTC (link)
Can I report wank here (for some other kind soul to post) if I can't get my hands on an account code?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]livingadream
2004-09-17 11:34 pm UTC (link)
Post a link. Someone will do it for you.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-17 11:54 pm UTC (link)
Great. A little (just a baby, mind you, but it's got potential . :~nurtures wank~: ) hogwartshouses (http://www.livejournal.com/~hogwartshouses) wank.

kittymitten (http://www.livejournal.com/~kittymitten) posts some rather, er... charming house icons (http://www.livejournal.com/community/hogwartshouses/222767.html), with such nuggets as:
Hufflepuff [Dullard]: Stupidity is sexy
Ravenclaw: Insanity is sexy
Gryffindor: Rash decisions are sexy (complete with pic of George Bush, just for some political intrigue)
Slytherin: Attitude problems are sexy
Spot the odd one out. Dare you.

Mishou (http://www.livejournal.com/~mishou) takes a bit of offence (and possibly the gate, too), calling her a true Slytheryn (http://www.livejournal.com/community/hogwartshouses/222767.html?thread=6010671#t6010671).
Splooge ensues, and it turns out that kittymitten has rather a reputation for dissin' t3h huffles (http://www.livejournal.com/community/hogwartshouses/221927.html?thread=6007015#t6007015).
Someone is obviously feeding this wank something, as it starts to grow. Kittymitten feels the need to assert (http://www.livejournal.com/community/hogwartshouses/222767.html?thread=6016559#t6016559) her (http://www.livejournal.com/community/hogwartshouses/221927.html?thread=6013415#t6013415) OMG!intelligence (http://www.livejournal.com/community/hogwartshouses/221927.html?thread=6014951#t6014951), at every turn, while at the same time making statements like 'Now go away, you disturbing thing.' (http://www.livejournal.com/community/hogwartshouses/222767.html?thread=6016559#t6016559)

Plus! With cameo by sashwizzled (http://www.livejournal.com/~sashwizzled) 'I mod fanfic_hate so I'm special'!
I know I'm excited.

Wait, someone said link only. Damn.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]redjackcash
2004-09-18 12:39 am UTC (link)

Haha..watch out! People are insulting the imaginary houses again!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-18 01:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rexdomine, 2004-09-19 12:26 am UTC

kroki_refur
2004-09-18 10:57 am UTC (link)
Hey! I just posted that independently...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-18 11:28 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-18 01:33 am UTC (link)
You people totally read my mind - I come bearing wank! (Well, argument turned nasty on the GameFAQS boards with bitching in LiveJournals)

Right. Jet Set Radio Future. Virtually dead, but it's bringing in wank and that's all that matters.

Sweeps419 (http://www.fanfiction.net/~sweeps419) thinks he is 'God's gift to fanfiction'. He's not. People attempt to tell him (check his reviews!) and he doesn't appreciate this. So, what else does a disgruntled bad!fic author do when people don't appreciate their crap masterpieces? Flame (http://www.livejournal.com/community/fic_flames/57560.html) their asses (http://www.fanfiction.net/r/332916/0/1/), of course! (first, 'KoochiZibble', aka sashwizzled's LJ entry in fic_flames, the second, the review board for one of the more enchantingly truthful nasty reviewers)

Sashwizzled also beeyotches here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/sashwizzled/100062.html), here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/sashwizzled/100242.html) and here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/fanficrants/334229.html).

KoochiZibble does not appreciate all this flaming. So, what to do, what to do... Oh, yeah! Flame him back - publically (http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/genmessage.php?board=31795&topic=16227524)! Ah, that wacky KoochiZibble.

Not much of a response at first, then mixed opinions come pouring in - and a bit of randomness, but that's GameFAQs for you... then Sweeps comes in, flames her right back again. KoochiZibble goes crazy and wastes two posts narking at him for insulting her fanfics, intelligence, sexuality and nationality.
Man, flamers sure branch out these days don't they?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bunny
2004-09-18 01:55 am UTC (link)
Is sashwizzled the new queen of wank? Two anonymous wank reports and both feature her.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kannaophelia, 2004-09-18 09:33 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-18 02:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mastervex, 2004-09-18 04:38 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-18 01:17 am UTC (link)
Read "Detritus destroys young authors' hopes and dreams". Thought "yes, with a siege crossbow".
Wrong sort of troll, sadly.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]mistressrenet
2004-09-18 07:18 am UTC (link)
Oh, me too!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sarajayechan
2004-09-18 02:33 am UTC (link)
Sigh. It's either elitists whining that new people ruin the fandom, or justice-mongers who scream that the smallest complaint or potshot is mean and elitist. Can't they just shut the fuck up already and agree to disagree?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]artimusdin
2004-09-18 04:02 am UTC (link)
I might have said this before, and if so, I appologize. But... ICON LOVE!! *stares*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sarajayechan, 2004-09-18 04:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]artimusdin, 2004-09-18 04:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]imaloserbaby, 2004-09-18 04:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]artimusdin, 2004-09-18 04:41 am UTC
Part One
[info]wankprophet
2004-09-18 03:09 am UTC (link)
It's nice enough, but lacking in that je ne sais quois that makes for a really insulting story. It's just too straightforward. Here, let me see if I can give an example of what I'm looking for:

****

Liza, her green eyes sparkling in the morning sun, sat down at her computer and typed "canadianbitch" on the login screen. Her long auburn tresses, scented with lavender and chocolate, flowed around her. It was a beautiful day, even if she was a little sore from the night before, when she had gone dancing at the Club d'Vive and hadn't been able to sit down all evening thanks to the horde of male (and female) admirers pressing her for a dance. She must have danced with 80 people in 6 hours. Had Orlando Bloom not "rescued" her -- by getting down on his knees and begging her to take him home with her -- she might never have been able to leave. She glanced over at the bed where Orlie lay, still asleep. God, he was gorgeous. Twas a pity she had worn him out. But she did warn him that she was a sexual wildcat in bed. That just made him more desperate to sleep with her. Tonight, she thought, she'd make him work harder for it...that magnificent 15 inch dick would go quite nicely with Viggo's monster. Viggo had called yesterday to say he was cutting short his vacation in the Bahamas because he couldn't bear to be separated from her another three days. So when his plane landed in seven hours, she would have a special surprise for him. She glanced over at Orlie and grinned impishly.

As she read through various LJ's, she idly plucked a bit of fluff off the magnificent curve of her left breast. The nipples, erect as always, gleamed like bronze and she idly tweaked the right one as her left hand manipulated her mouse. No...not now. Time enough for that later. So she raised her left hand again and returned to the computer. Clicking another link, she stumbled over something called "deleterius." Huh, she thought, curiously, and glanced over a random entry.

Slowly, a burning flush crept through her, tinging her skin in a sexy crimson. She was glad Orlie was still asleep, else he would have demanded they screw again right then and there had he seen her blush. And she didn't want distractions -- the flush was a flush of rage as she realized that the community had taken one of her stories and mocked it! They were calling her a Mary-Sue writer....

~to be continued in following post~

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Part II
[info]wankprophet
2004-09-18 03:10 am UTC (link)
WTFucketh?!?!? How dare they?!? And, to pour salt on the wound and add insult to injury, they were saying she wrote in cliches as old as the hills. Her eyes flashed like lightning -- she would beat them down like redheaded stepchildren. She was seeing red, and almost missed the point where they said her characters sounded uncanonical and thoroughly un-Tolkienish. Those fuckers! After all, she was the one who won a Dweebie from "elvesfuckhard.com" for her fanfic. She'd like to see one of them show better credentials for judging what was canon and what wasn't.

She trembled with a beautiful rage, her bosom heaving, her venus mons pulsating, her fingers squeezing, her temple throbbing with sharp pains. They called her a Mary-Sue?!? She had just written for her own fun, after all, not for anyone else's. Were it not for the fact that the convenience store on the corner never seemed to have hard-drives in stock, she'd have just stored her stories on her own computer. But she posted them on-line because she needed a place to keep them, and if those fuckers couldn't respect that, they needed to be whapped upside their heads.

She resisted the impulse to punch her fist through the computer screen, remembering that a 10th degree black-belt should never resort to violence unless absolutely necessary. Besides, the computer system cost $35,000, almost an entire week's pay from her modeling job. Though that was supplemented by her CEO salary, she still couldn't afford to squander money recklessly, especially not over fuckwads like those deleterius members.

No, she had a better idea. She would use her real strengths to exact revenge. She was a world-class writer -- the positive reviews her autobiographies over at fanfiction.net recieved were proof of that. Indeed, her latest two, "Legolas Takes a Green-Eyed Bride" and "An Orgy of Hobbits and Elves" had both received more than 100 positive reviews, and numerous entreaties to write more. Not bad for autobiographical material in a genre dominated by fantasy.

Her anger faded as she began to formulate her plan for revenge. After less than three hours of thinking, she suddenly stood up. Eureka! She had it! She would make fun of their weight and social lives! And not only that, she would put dialogue in their mouths that was so meta that they'd flee to the deepest darkest scum pits in shame.

She giggled manically as she typed the first line: "Walter frowned, eyes narrowing as he regarded the screen before him. Almost unconsciously, he used his index finger to push his thick, dark glasses back up the bridge of his nose. The finger momentarily stuck to the tape around the middle, but he was able to pull it loose with a minimum amount of trouble."

Hee! He wears glasses! And they're breakable! She almost felt guilty for a moment, realizing that he might be devastated. But her resolve grew as firm as her nipples as she thought about how they had destroyed her dreams by criticizing one of her fics. No mercy. She would bring them down, and they would beg for her to stop, but she'd just turn away and they could watch her beautifully curved tight ass as she walked away.

Oh, and she would give him a high nasal voice -- that would make him sound so gay. That'd really show him.

Yes...revenge was sweet. She kept on typing.

Life was very good indeed.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Part II - [info]khym_chanur, 2004-09-18 03:24 am UTC
Re: Part II - [info]bunny, 2004-09-18 04:17 am UTC
Re: Part II - (Anonymous), 2004-09-18 06:53 am UTC
Re: Part II - wolfie_thu, 2004-09-18 04:19 am UTC
Re: Part II - [info]sarajayechan, 2004-09-18 04:21 am UTC
Re: Part II - [info]elfy, 2004-09-18 04:42 am UTC
Re: Part II - [info]kittieklaws, 2004-09-18 09:12 am UTC
Re: Part II - [info]littlest_lurker, 2004-09-18 09:40 am UTC
Re: Part II - [info]vasaris, 2004-09-18 09:53 am UTC
Re: Part II - [info]darkwitch666, 2004-09-19 07:37 am UTC
Re: Part II - [info]snacky, 2004-09-19 06:58 pm UTC
Re: Part II - [info]vasaris, 2004-09-20 12:48 am UTC
Re: Part II - [info]snacky, 2004-09-20 03:44 am UTC
Re: Part II - [info]schoenschoen, 2004-09-18 05:46 pm UTC
Re: Part II - (Anonymous), 2004-09-20 03:02 am UTC
Re: Part One
[info]vasaris
2004-09-18 09:48 am UTC (link)
Lavender *and* chocolate?

Eiewww.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-18 03:57 am UTC (link)
Kathy/Walter/Jewel = OT3

As I said, if canadianbitch writes a threesome, I'll definitely give her a positive review. As long as she puts a bit of thought into it, mind. I want some decent uglyporn, or I'll have to write it myself.

(Reply to this)


[info]schoenschoen
2004-09-18 05:58 pm UTC (link)
*gets to the last reply so far and just dies* Did that girl just say she's 5'1", 115 lbs, and overweight?! And she does all that exercise?! Holy hell! Anorexia, anyone? O_O (Just to let everyone know, ideal weight for a woman at 5'1" or 5'2" is between 115 and 135, last I checked. Actually, the military doesn't deem you 'overweight' at that height until you hit 149 and 151 lbs respectively. Not the best measure, I know, but it works for me)

As far as that goes, how does paying attention to your writing make you ugly? O_o I guess that makes all professional writers and editors geeks of the first order, then, huh?

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-19 02:42 am UTC (link)
DELETERIUS NEEDS TO DIE.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-19 08:38 pm UTC (link)
If you say so then it must be true.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-19 11:05 pm UTC (link)
Sigh...run along now trolly. If we wanted your opinion, we would ask for it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]24601
2004-09-19 03:46 am UTC (link)
I'm trying to figure out how he spread his legs in a "W". Was his penis very large?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-19 08:37 pm UTC (link)
Gah! Thanks for THAT mental image.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

  
   
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