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Adastra ([info]fictionbya) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-09-20 18:24:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Fantastico
Entry tags:creator wank, interrogating from the wrong perspective, meme origins, person: anne rice

To quote rhiannonhero from LJ: "Anne Rice wouldn't last a day in fandom, yo."
Apparently Anne Rice is upset about some of the reviewers at amazon.com for they have strained her Dickensean principles to the max!

(Scroll about halfway down. You are looking for reviewer "Anne Obrien Rice" and a paragraph that never ends.)

ETA: You will now have to click on "Next" under the customer reviews to locate the "Anne Obrien Rice" review. Just click and scroll down. It's hard to miss.

Also, iconage has happened at [info]fwank_icons.


Son of ETA: Amazon.com seems to have deleted the Anne Obrien Rice review (and the crop of reviews that came after it). Fortunately, some things which are posted on the internet have a way of being preserved forever.

From the Author to the Some of the Negative Voices Here, September 6, 2004
Seldom do I really answer those who criticize my work. In fact, the entire development of my career has been fueled by my ability to ignore denigrating and trivializing criticism as I realize my dreams and my goals. However there is something compelling about Amazon's willingness to publish just about anything, and the sheer outrageous stupidity of many things you've said here that actually touches my proletarian and Democratic soul. Also I use and enjoy Amazon and I do read the reviews of other people's books in many fields. In sum, I believe in what happens here. And so, I speak. First off, let me say that this is addressed only to some of you, who have posted outrageously negative comments here, and not to all. You are interrogating this text from the wrong perspective. Indeed, you aren't even reading it. You are projecting your own limitations on it. And you are giving a whole new meaning to the words "wide readership." And you have strained my Dickensean principles to the max. I'm justifiably proud of being read by intellectual giants and waitresses in trailer parks,in fact, I love it, but who in the world are you? Now to the book. Allow me to point out: nowhere in this text are you told that this is the last of the chronicles, nowhere are you promised curtain calls or a finale, nowhere are you told there will be a wrap-up of all the earlier material. The text tells you exactly what to expect. And it warns you specifically that if you did not enjoy Memnoch the Devil, you may not enjoy this book. This book is by and about a hero whom many of you have already rejected. And he tells you that you are likely to reject him again. And this book is most certainly written -- every word of it -- by me. If and when I can't write a book on my own, you'll know about it. And no, I have no intention of allowing any editor ever to distort, cut, or otherwise mutilate sentences that I have edited and re-edited, and organized and polished myself. I fought a great battle to achieve a status where I did not have to put up with editors making demands on me, and I will never relinquish that status. For me, novel writing is a virtuoso performance. It is not a collaborative art. Back to the novel itself: the character who tells the tale is my Lestat. I was with him more closely than I have ever been in this novel; his voice was as powerful for me as I've ever heard it. I experienced break through after break through as I walked with him, moved with him, saw through his eyes. What I ask of Lestat, Lestat unfailingly gives. For me, three hunting scenes, two which take place in hotels -- the lone woman waiting for the hit man, the slaughter at the pimp's party -- and the late night foray into the slums --stand with any similar scenes in all of the chronicles. They can be read aloud without a single hitch. Every word is in perfect place. The short chapter in which Lestat describes his love for Rowan Mayfair was for me a totally realized poem. There are other such scenes in this book. You don't get all this? Fine. But I experienced an intimacy with the character in those scenes that shattered all prior restraints, and when one is writing one does have to continuously and courageously fight a destructive tendency to inhibition and restraint. Getting really close to the subject matter is the achievement of only great art. Now, if it doesn't appeal to you, fine. You don't enjoy it? Read somebody else. But your stupid arrogant assumptions about me and what I am doing are slander. And you have used this site as if it were a public urinal to publish falsehood and lies. I'll never challenge your democratic freedom to do so, and yes, I'm answering you, but for what it's worth, be assured of the utter contempt I feel for you, especially those of you who post anonymously (and perhaps repeatedly?) and how glad I am that this book is the last one in a series that has invited your hateful and ugly responses. Now, to return to the narrative in question: Lestat's wanting to be a saint is a vision larded through and through with his characteristic vanity. It connects perfectly with his earlier ambitions to be an actor in Paris, a rock star in the modern age. If you can't see that, you aren't reading my work. In his conversation with the Pope he makes observations on the times which are in continuity with his observations on the late twentieth century in The Vampire Lestat, and in continuity with Marius' observations in that book and later in Queen of the Damned. The state of the world has always been an important theme in the chronicles. Lestat's comments matter. Every word he speaks is part of the achievement of this book. That Lestat renounced this saintly ambition within a matter of pages is plain enough for you to see. That he reverts to his old self is obvious, and that he intends to complete the tale of Blackwood Farm is also quite clear. There are many other themes and patterns in this work that I might mention -- the interplay between St.Juan Diago and Lestat, the invisible creature who doesn't "exist" in the eyes of the world is a case in point. There is also the theme of the snare of Blackwood Farm, the place where a human existence becomes so beguiling that Lestat relinquishes his power as if to a spell. The entire relationship between Lestat and Uncle Julien is carefully worked out. But I leave it to readers to discover how this complex and intricate novel establishes itself within a unique, if not unrivalled series of book. There are things to be said. And there is pleasure to be had. And readers will say wonderful things about Blood Canticle and they already are. There are readers out there and plenty of them who cherish the individuality of each of the chronicles which you so flippantly condemn. They can and do talk circles around you. And I am warmed by their response. Their letters, the papers they write in school, our face to face exchanges on the road -- these things sustain me when I read the utter trash that you post. But I feel I have said enough. If this reaches one reader who is curious about my work and shocked by the ugly reviews here, I've served my goals. And Yo, you dude, the slang police! Lestat talks like I do. He always has and he always will. You really wouldn't much like being around either one of us. And you don't have to be. If any of you want to say anything about all this by all means Email me at Anneobrienrice@mac.com. And if you want your money back for the book, send it to 1239 First Street, New Orleans, La, 70130. I'm not a coward about my real name or where I live. And yes, the Chronicles are no more! Thank God!




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[info]rhi_silverflame
2004-09-21 08:19 am UTC (link)
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what you get when a Sue-writing fangirl learns to spell and use bigger words, but does not in any way grow up.

I swear, that's textbook indignant badfic writer, just with better spelling, far too many words, and a whole new level of batshit crazy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]misswindy, 2004-09-21 08:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhi_silverflame, 2004-09-21 09:26 am UTC

[info]eag
2004-09-21 08:53 am UTC (link)
So when she says "Dickensean" it's like Dickensean in the "Paid by the word" sense? Because that's the only Dickensean that comes to mind when I think of her writing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bakunina, 2004-09-21 09:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eag, 2004-09-21 08:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]majinkarp, 2004-09-21 11:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkwitch666, 2004-09-22 01:24 am UTC

[info]gaisce
2004-09-21 09:11 am UTC (link)
"But your stupid arrogant assumptions about me and what I am doing are slander..."

Hoo-boy. She can't even break out the litigious whining without desperate need of a beta reader. Her lawyers need to tell her that unless the voices are speaking to her from the glowing screen like Lestat's "presence" in her head it would fall under libel. If, you know, it was defamatory.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]winterfalls, 2004-09-21 01:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2004-09-21 11:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amasaglajax, 2004-09-22 03:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2004-09-22 04:18 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-22 04:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gaisce, 2004-09-22 06:53 am UTC

[info]anniesj
2004-09-21 09:28 am UTC (link)
Is it really, really bad that I desperately want to send her an LJ invitation now? I mean, she really should have a place where she can share her "thoughts" with the public on a regular basis for our entertainment.

I would even buy her a paid account. :)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ipomoea, 2004-09-21 09:37 am UTC

[info]rowan
2004-09-21 10:01 am UTC (link)
I am extremely sad that reading this wank made Amazon decide to recommend Anne Rice books to me. Fortunately, I purged it with liberal helpings of Peter S. Beagle and Guy Gavriel Kay. Stupid Amazon, give me my normal fantasy and anime recommendations back!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 12:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 12:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]solelyfictional, 2004-09-21 09:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]naienko, 2004-09-22 02:55 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-22 03:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]naienko, 2004-09-22 04:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]solelyfictional, 2004-09-22 10:37 am UTC

[info]romanesque
2004-09-21 10:01 am UTC (link)
The horror! The horror!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]darkwitch666, 2004-09-22 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fatesarchitect, 2004-09-22 07:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]romanesque, 2004-09-22 08:27 am UTC

[info]khym_chanur
2004-09-21 10:06 am UTC (link)
Awwwww, she still hasn't come over here, even after being sent several links to the wank! Come on over, Anne, we want to mock play with you!!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-22 09:44 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-22 09:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-23 01:49 am UTC

[info]fairy_tale_echo
2004-09-21 10:29 am UTC (link)
My mind BOGGLES. What did she think the reaction to such an over the top purple prose nightmare of a review would be? Yikes.

Also, I thought Amazon had a policy that forbade authors/publishers from reviewing their own books because it was unfair practice or something ... they give them space ABOVE the customer reviews (I remember this from when Caleb Carr threw a snit about how a girl wasn't fit to review his book about terrorism.) Man, someone needs to report Anne Rice to Amazon!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]fuzzytowers, 2004-09-21 01:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-24 09:17 am UTC
Her ego is pastede on yay.
[info]yueni
2004-09-21 10:34 am UTC (link)
The first thing that popped into my mind was this: Here we have a published author who doesn't know how to use paragraphs.

Also, said author doesn't know how to organise her thoughts. I think I read the first couple sentences before my eyes crossed over. I think that little chunk of vitriol just really called attention to her real need for an editor.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Her ego is pastede on yay. - [info]fuzzytowers, 2004-09-21 01:47 pm UTC
Re: Her ego is pastede on yay. - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 01:49 pm UTC

[info]kuribos_shoe
2004-09-21 10:50 am UTC (link)
Yesterday I strained my Dickensean principles when I was lifting weights. Hurts like a bitch.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]25th_of_april, 2004-09-21 09:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkwitch666, 2004-09-22 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-27 01:40 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-08-04 11:30 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-21 11:07 am UTC (link)
Someone so needs to edit her post, correct all the errors and post it there. I think her head would explode. Do it myself if I thought I'd make a good job of it.

Or has it been done already?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]winterfalls, 2004-09-21 11:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]xero_sky, 2004-09-21 11:19 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 12:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fishandbicycle, 2004-09-21 11:22 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 11:31 am UTC
Oh how I tried! - [info]tekenduis, 2004-09-21 04:29 pm UTC
How's this? - [info]herongale, 2004-09-21 04:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]herongale, 2004-09-21 04:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deoridhe, 2004-09-21 05:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]herongale, 2004-09-22 01:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlebitca, 2004-09-22 07:02 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 06:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 10:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 10:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2004-09-21 11:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]herongale, 2004-09-22 01:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]majinkarp, 2004-09-22 03:00 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-21 11:17 am UTC (link)
This is f*cking hilarous! The reviews, HER review and all the wonderful postings here. My chest hurts from laughing, and my neck from shaking my head ;P
(syredronning at livejournal)

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-21 12:09 pm UTC (link)
That's old wank.Desperate for attention much?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]anriko, 2004-09-21 12:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cie_anthy, 2004-09-21 07:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-22 12:00 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-22 01:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzytowers, 2004-09-22 02:31 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-21 01:08 pm UTC (link)
Oh, Anne...why don't you pull out that little violin while your at it? The Sue-author angst isn't enough!

Love,

A Fangirl!!!!111

P.S. Someone needs to be beaten with an Humility Stick. Hint: her last name is a type of food.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 01:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 01:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]arielchan, 2004-09-21 07:50 pm UTC
heh
[info]prettyveela
2004-09-21 01:11 pm UTC (link)
I'd pay someone 5 bucks to send her a link to some Lestat fanfiction and under it type, "Learn how to write like this".

But she'd sue you and stuff so nevermind.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: heh - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 01:16 pm UTC
Re: heh - [info]prettyveela, 2004-09-21 11:46 pm UTC
Re: heh - (Anonymous), 2004-09-22 05:06 am UTC
Re: heh - [info]prettyveela, 2004-09-22 08:44 am UTC
Re: heh - [info]anniesj, 2004-09-21 04:31 pm UTC
Re: heh - [info]iczer6, 2004-09-21 09:16 pm UTC
Re: heh - [info]littlest_lurker, 2004-09-21 10:29 pm UTC
Re: heh - [info]adinaj69, 2004-09-21 10:34 pm UTC
Re: heh - [info]darkwitch666, 2004-09-22 12:26 am UTC
Re: heh - [info]cheshireempress, 2004-09-22 01:45 am UTC
Re: heh - [info]amasaglajax, 2004-09-22 03:27 am UTC
Re: heh - [info]suzine, 2004-09-24 01:33 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-21 01:14 pm UTC (link)
And if you want your money back for the book, send it to 1239 First Street, New Orleans, La, 70130.

But the question is.. does she pay for the postage and handling. :)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]fuzzytowers, 2004-09-21 01:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 01:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzytowers, 2004-09-21 02:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fatesarchitect, 2004-09-21 07:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkwitch666, 2004-09-22 12:28 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-22 05:46 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-23 10:13 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-24 11:26 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-21 01:22 pm UTC (link)
You know what Anne Rice is reminding me of in that wanktastic response? The peasant from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

The scenario:

Editors/Fans/Anyone who criticizes her "books" say/post or breath anything.

Rice: "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2004-09-21 01:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bakunina, 2004-09-21 09:21 pm UTC
GIP - [info]chaoscheebs, 2004-09-22 03:24 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-21 01:44 pm UTC (link)
Requesting Ann McCaffry wank so we can have an orgy of wank.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Nothing like a dash of Gay Pheromones(tm) to spice things up! - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 01:56 pm UTC
eh - [info]leucrotta, 2004-09-21 03:55 pm UTC
Re: eh - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 04:26 pm UTC

[info]mouseybrown
2004-09-21 01:55 pm UTC (link)
Dear Anne Rice,

Shut the fuck up, you drivel-spouting, talentless hack of a writer! You already got the money, don't come back and gloat about it.

Mousey.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-21 01:56 pm UTC (link)
The Pane of the Artiste sez: OMG YOU DON'T GET MY VISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *SLITZ WRISTZ*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]carbucketty, 2004-09-22 01:27 am UTC
My Message
(Anonymous)
2004-09-21 02:58 pm UTC (link)
Now, I don't pretend to know about Vampires, or why they keep on flying around outside biting cows (in Mexico, they're called Chupacabras). There are fewer things in this world more dangerous than a vampire. Like a cobra. Those things spit venom in your face! And they could still bite you! That's double trouble for anyone foolish enough to go hand to fang with the deadly cobra.

Vampires were first invented in 1920, as Ann so conveniently left out in her so called "novel." As a matter of fact, this novel is so full of half truths and lies that I really don't think any rational person could read this without laughing at the inane fantasy of it all. Also, it borrows heavily from such films as Terminator 2 and the Matrix Reloaded. The scene when the Vampire snatches a young Jim Conway off his moped onto his vampire motorcycle in order to escape the big rig is scene for scene a direct rip-off of James Cameron's masterpiece.

Ann Rice, you should be ashamed of yourself. I know I am. Matter of fact, I'm embarassed for the both of us. Ann Rice, more like Not Nice, am I right folks?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: My Message - [info]deoridhe, 2004-09-21 05:18 pm UTC
Re: My Message - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 05:41 pm UTC
Re: My Message - [info]deoridhe, 2004-09-21 06:20 pm UTC
Re: My Message - [info]mistressrenet, 2004-09-21 05:40 pm UTC
Re: My Message - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 05:59 pm UTC
Re: My Message - [info]mistressrenet, 2004-09-21 05:59 pm UTC
Re: My Message - [info]phosfate, 2004-09-21 06:03 pm UTC
heeeeee - [info]mooncalf, 2004-09-21 10:34 pm UTC
Re: My Message - [info]kijikun, 2004-09-21 06:34 pm UTC
Re: My Message - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 07:53 pm UTC
Re: My Message - [info]kijikun, 2004-09-21 07:56 pm UTC
Re: My Message - [info]solelyfictional, 2004-09-21 09:57 pm UTC
Re: My Message - [info]raykat, 2004-09-22 01:36 pm UTC
Re: My Message - [info]pipssister, 2004-09-22 06:59 am UTC

[info]msmanna
2004-09-21 03:03 pm UTC (link)
Anne Rice reminds me of a line from a PJ O'Rourke book, where he's talking about Christian rock groups, and says something like, None of the albums were actually called 'How I Found God And Lost My Talent', but that was purely an oversight'.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-21 04:01 pm UTC (link)
1) How can we be sure it's really Anne Rice (not that I doubt it).
2) She sounds like a 16-year-old fic author. "You don't understand me/my visions; Don't like it, don't read it etc.

I wonder when she'll post "After all those flames I have decided to leave the fandom stop writing and kill myself"...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 05:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 11:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oftennaughty, 2004-09-22 08:28 am UTC

[info]vanilla_tiger
2004-09-21 04:05 pm UTC (link)
And apparently the reviews have gone. (At least that's what Amazon is telling.) *le sigh*

Still, deletion always does give that nice air of completion to a wank.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-21 04:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]peeksie, 2004-09-21 04:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-24 04:29 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-09-24 04:33 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-09-21 04:22 pm UTC (link)
(I really need a journalfen membership but I'm a bit too broke for it)

Dear Anne Rice,


You suck. Seriously you do. Your books sucked after The Tale of the Body Thief but they really jumped the shark after the pedophila-laced The Vampire Armand. Thanks for proving why I would never read your books again.

-Former reader

P.S.: You would never survive in the Gundam Wing, er any anime fandom. You would have a heart attack the minute you stepped into it.

(bluewhiteapo on lj)

(Reply to this)



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