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Adastra ([info]fictionbya) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-09-20 18:24:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Fantastico
Entry tags:creator wank, interrogating from the wrong perspective, meme origins, person: anne rice

To quote rhiannonhero from LJ: "Anne Rice wouldn't last a day in fandom, yo."
Apparently Anne Rice is upset about some of the reviewers at amazon.com for they have strained her Dickensean principles to the max!

(Scroll about halfway down. You are looking for reviewer "Anne Obrien Rice" and a paragraph that never ends.)

ETA: You will now have to click on "Next" under the customer reviews to locate the "Anne Obrien Rice" review. Just click and scroll down. It's hard to miss.

Also, iconage has happened at [info]fwank_icons.


Son of ETA: Amazon.com seems to have deleted the Anne Obrien Rice review (and the crop of reviews that came after it). Fortunately, some things which are posted on the internet have a way of being preserved forever.

From the Author to the Some of the Negative Voices Here, September 6, 2004
Seldom do I really answer those who criticize my work. In fact, the entire development of my career has been fueled by my ability to ignore denigrating and trivializing criticism as I realize my dreams and my goals. However there is something compelling about Amazon's willingness to publish just about anything, and the sheer outrageous stupidity of many things you've said here that actually touches my proletarian and Democratic soul. Also I use and enjoy Amazon and I do read the reviews of other people's books in many fields. In sum, I believe in what happens here. And so, I speak. First off, let me say that this is addressed only to some of you, who have posted outrageously negative comments here, and not to all. You are interrogating this text from the wrong perspective. Indeed, you aren't even reading it. You are projecting your own limitations on it. And you are giving a whole new meaning to the words "wide readership." And you have strained my Dickensean principles to the max. I'm justifiably proud of being read by intellectual giants and waitresses in trailer parks,in fact, I love it, but who in the world are you? Now to the book. Allow me to point out: nowhere in this text are you told that this is the last of the chronicles, nowhere are you promised curtain calls or a finale, nowhere are you told there will be a wrap-up of all the earlier material. The text tells you exactly what to expect. And it warns you specifically that if you did not enjoy Memnoch the Devil, you may not enjoy this book. This book is by and about a hero whom many of you have already rejected. And he tells you that you are likely to reject him again. And this book is most certainly written -- every word of it -- by me. If and when I can't write a book on my own, you'll know about it. And no, I have no intention of allowing any editor ever to distort, cut, or otherwise mutilate sentences that I have edited and re-edited, and organized and polished myself. I fought a great battle to achieve a status where I did not have to put up with editors making demands on me, and I will never relinquish that status. For me, novel writing is a virtuoso performance. It is not a collaborative art. Back to the novel itself: the character who tells the tale is my Lestat. I was with him more closely than I have ever been in this novel; his voice was as powerful for me as I've ever heard it. I experienced break through after break through as I walked with him, moved with him, saw through his eyes. What I ask of Lestat, Lestat unfailingly gives. For me, three hunting scenes, two which take place in hotels -- the lone woman waiting for the hit man, the slaughter at the pimp's party -- and the late night foray into the slums --stand with any similar scenes in all of the chronicles. They can be read aloud without a single hitch. Every word is in perfect place. The short chapter in which Lestat describes his love for Rowan Mayfair was for me a totally realized poem. There are other such scenes in this book. You don't get all this? Fine. But I experienced an intimacy with the character in those scenes that shattered all prior restraints, and when one is writing one does have to continuously and courageously fight a destructive tendency to inhibition and restraint. Getting really close to the subject matter is the achievement of only great art. Now, if it doesn't appeal to you, fine. You don't enjoy it? Read somebody else. But your stupid arrogant assumptions about me and what I am doing are slander. And you have used this site as if it were a public urinal to publish falsehood and lies. I'll never challenge your democratic freedom to do so, and yes, I'm answering you, but for what it's worth, be assured of the utter contempt I feel for you, especially those of you who post anonymously (and perhaps repeatedly?) and how glad I am that this book is the last one in a series that has invited your hateful and ugly responses. Now, to return to the narrative in question: Lestat's wanting to be a saint is a vision larded through and through with his characteristic vanity. It connects perfectly with his earlier ambitions to be an actor in Paris, a rock star in the modern age. If you can't see that, you aren't reading my work. In his conversation with the Pope he makes observations on the times which are in continuity with his observations on the late twentieth century in The Vampire Lestat, and in continuity with Marius' observations in that book and later in Queen of the Damned. The state of the world has always been an important theme in the chronicles. Lestat's comments matter. Every word he speaks is part of the achievement of this book. That Lestat renounced this saintly ambition within a matter of pages is plain enough for you to see. That he reverts to his old self is obvious, and that he intends to complete the tale of Blackwood Farm is also quite clear. There are many other themes and patterns in this work that I might mention -- the interplay between St.Juan Diago and Lestat, the invisible creature who doesn't "exist" in the eyes of the world is a case in point. There is also the theme of the snare of Blackwood Farm, the place where a human existence becomes so beguiling that Lestat relinquishes his power as if to a spell. The entire relationship between Lestat and Uncle Julien is carefully worked out. But I leave it to readers to discover how this complex and intricate novel establishes itself within a unique, if not unrivalled series of book. There are things to be said. And there is pleasure to be had. And readers will say wonderful things about Blood Canticle and they already are. There are readers out there and plenty of them who cherish the individuality of each of the chronicles which you so flippantly condemn. They can and do talk circles around you. And I am warmed by their response. Their letters, the papers they write in school, our face to face exchanges on the road -- these things sustain me when I read the utter trash that you post. But I feel I have said enough. If this reaches one reader who is curious about my work and shocked by the ugly reviews here, I've served my goals. And Yo, you dude, the slang police! Lestat talks like I do. He always has and he always will. You really wouldn't much like being around either one of us. And you don't have to be. If any of you want to say anything about all this by all means Email me at Anneobrienrice@mac.com. And if you want your money back for the book, send it to 1239 First Street, New Orleans, La, 70130. I'm not a coward about my real name or where I live. And yes, the Chronicles are no more! Thank God!



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]thwackboom
2004-09-21 07:43 am UTC (link)
Yo, you dude, the slang police!

There are no words to describe how funny it is to imagine Anne Rice saying "yo" and "dude."

And, yo, try listening to how real people speak.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]darkwitch666
2004-09-21 07:53 am UTC (link)
Do you mean "real people," or "real people who channel centuries-old male vampires who keep forgetting what the hell their real personality is so they just wing it and rave like nutcases about theology for pages and pages and pages, unedited all the way down to hell and back, while raking in the millions of dollars from mediocre books that could be better written by fanfic authors and then sell the movie rights for millions and laugh their way to the bank while Hollywood further destroys any hope those poor characters ever had of being realized" ?

Sorry. Shit, I think I just channeled Anne Rice.

*runs away screaming, straight for the vodka*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]fatesarchitect
2004-09-21 08:31 am UTC (link)
*offers absinthe* vodka won't make it go away. you need to BURN it out.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]darkwitch666
2004-09-21 08:49 am UTC (link)
w00t!

*changes into black clothes, drinks absinthe, and hums the AnneRice song*

There was an author had a vamp and Lestat was his name-y
Le-S-T-A-T,
Le-S-T-A-T,
Le-S-T-A-T
And Lestat was his name-y

That vamp Lestat, he had a friend, his friend's name was Lew-iss
L-O-U-I-S
L-O-U-I-S
L-O-U-I-S
That hottie's name was Lew-iss

Lestat and Louis had a kid and boy, she was teh crazeh
CLA-U-D-I-A
CLA-U-D-I-A
CLA-U-D-I-A
That little girl was crazeh

Too bad it didnt' stop right there because it all went downhill
2-H-E-L-L,
2-H-E-L-L,
2-H-E-L-L,
So I guess it worked out well

But don't you dare tell Anne her books were not the best you've read
She will kill you dead
She will kill you dead
She will kill you dead
That rant made my eyes red

If paragraphs and spelling were the things she really knew 'bout
It would be a rout
It would be a rout
It would be a rout
My eyes wouldn't be gouged out

I hope that she does not come here and rant a little more
It would be a more
It would be a bore
It would be a bore
She writes like a crack h0r!

The need for paragraph breaks was desp'rate in her review
It made me go "ew!"
It made me go "ew!"
It made me go "ew!"
And want to really spew

I hope you've learned from this that ego can get to big for one's head
They made her see red,
They made her see red,
They made her see red
When saying her book suck-ed

Apparently money cannot buy things to make Anne Rice happy,
That book was crappy,
That book was crappy,
That book was crappy,
Sorry, biatch, your book was crappy

If you want to write a good book this advice I will you loan:
Write well and don't moan
If, when on you drone,
People want you to atone--
Biatch, you have been p0wned!!!111!11!wtfbbq!!1!1!!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]raykat
2004-09-21 11:39 am UTC (link)
*sporfle!!!*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

BAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!
[info]ebbrowning
2004-09-21 05:30 pm UTC (link)
Let's post some fanfic based on her stuff and watch the fur REALLY fly!!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: BAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!
[info]arielchan
2004-09-21 07:45 pm UTC (link)
Actually, somewhere on my computer lurks a VC fic I wrote years ago about Lestat uncovering that Anne had been suing her fans, and then he gets all up in her face and kicks her ass.

It also features Lestat explaining that he wrote the first 4 books and everything after was just Anne using his name.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: BAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!
[info]teleute
2004-09-21 10:01 pm UTC (link)
Well, let's see it, then!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: BAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!
[info]arielchan
2004-09-21 11:15 pm UTC (link)
*g* I'm not going to subject you to that which I wrote when
I was fifteen. Although it does have some amusing points, the end is pretty crap. It needs repairs.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: BAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!
[info]teleute
2004-09-22 12:04 am UTC (link)
Hee, fair enough. I don't think I'd want to share the stuff I wrote when I was fifteen, either. (I am so glad I grew out of my Sue-writing stage before I discovered FF.net)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-09-22 04:20 am UTC (link)
Goodness, that was beautiful!

-sarcastic_elf on LJ

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]stubbleglitter
2004-09-22 02:11 am UTC (link)
What the hell you rappin' 'bout, bro? I thinks her slang is the fo' realest shizzle ever to wizzle dizzle! HOLLA!!!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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