Inuyasha Diva Fit in... 3... 2... 1...: Cue Numisma!

EDIT: The posts from the IY Fanguild were copy pasted into the body of this post so no one would have to create an account with Yahoo! Groups to view the wank. Yes, this is one long wanky post. View at your own discretion.

After a rolling start on the Green Tea forum, controversy struck the IY Fanguild in the form of accusations regarding voting accuracy, moderator corruption, and the possibilty of voter solicitation. Openly requesting input from their members due to the "sincerest wish of all the moderators to maintain the Guild's integrity and good reputation" and even going so far as to settle nervous would-be posters with the following promise: (Look closely at the wording, and keep it in mind as you continue on your jolly way)

If you have any questions or any additional comments you would like to
share, please feel free to do so by posting to the list. If you wish to
remain anonymous, you may send your comments to the moderator of your
choice. She will post your comments to the list for you, maintaining your
anonymity from the other members and the other moderators.

After reading THIS PARAGRAPH in the administrative post, one person decided to take the option presented, and posted to the list anonymously. And as we all know by now, stupidity (of course) outweighs all else, and the reaction to this anonymous post was less than favorable.

But by far, the most ignorant, inflammatory (and most misspelled) response goes to Zardoz, who has proven that "Apocalypse Now" isn't just a movie -- it's a way of life. Now it seems that fandom is a battlefield (take that, Pat Benetar!), and anonymous posts are equivalent to a "blood feud."

Anonymous Post on the IY Fanguild
From: "Kristine Batey" <kbatey@n...>
Date: Sun Nov 7, 2004 11:20 am
Subject: Integrity

The following was sent to me by a member who asked that I post it to
the list anonymously. -- Bachan

It's taken me a long while to decide whether I wanted to chime in with
my two cents or not. I've decided that I want to; however, I'm not
comfortable with the situation and would rather do this anonymously.
I know that anonymity is usually associated with "chicken," and maybe
I am. I'm either a chicken, or diplomatic.

My concerns regarding the integrity of the IYFG awards were initially
spawned after the First Quarter awards for 2004. As has been pointed
out, moderators placed first in nearly every category in which they
were nominated. While, yes, this seemed a bit fishy, I let it roll
off my back. Coincidences occur, and I was willing to give our
moderators the benefit of the doubt. But when the Second Quarter
Awards brought nearly identical outcomes, it was enough to raise an
eyebrow. For me, the seed of doubt was planted, and had begun to take
root.

I didn't think much about it until finding out that moderators were
using the Guild to promote themselves through various means -- bribing
their readership for votes (not monetary bribery -- but other offers
of favors in exchange for votes), and even hinting that they have the
power to delete votes. I don't like thinking the worst of people, but
this information gave me a sinking sensation. We're only human, and
therefore imperfect -- are moderators immune to corruption?

I think the important thing is to consider whether these awards are
meant to be an honest attempt to praise the best of the fandom, or
whether it's going to be just another popularity contest. Other users
have suggested that the Oscars are this way, so it shouldn't be a big
deal whether the IYFG is. I tend to disagree.

Personally, I'm of the opinion that the Mediaminer Fic Contest handles
the situation admirably. Judges volunteer to handle different
categories, one judge per category. Judges may submit fics, but NOT
for the category they're judging. It's a yearly thing, rather than
quarterly, and I suppose that questions can be brought up regarding
whether or not it's fair for ONE judge to pick a winner, but they at
least take measures to keep as much of their integrity intact as
possible. I'm not saying that their way is the right way or the best
way, but it's something to consider.

Yes, moderators do a lot of work when it comes to keeping the list
on-track -- and they do a good job of keeping topics on topic, and
other general mod duties. But I can't help but think (and please
forgive me for quoting this) that "with great power comes great
responsibility." The moderators have a lot of power to wield in this
instance, and if they have the opportunity to delete votes, that
combined with making offers to readers in exchange for votes is
probably enough to cast doubt in the minds of some members. If the
moderators feel it would be unfair for their 'fics to be disqualified
from the competition, perhaps a monthly (or otherwise periodic)
rotation of moderators might help -- and the moderators in charge for
that period are ineligible. It's just a suggestion.

As for the question of popularity, or people begging readers for votes
-- I think that's pretty damned sad, but I also think there isn't
anything that can be done to circumvent it aside from doing away with
voting entirely and choosing a panel of impartial judges.


Of course someone would jump in and start the shit fest. Thank you Zardoz for taking the initiative.
From: "zardoz582000" <zardoz582000@y...>
Date: Sun Nov 7, 2004 12:08 pm
Subject: Re: Integrity

Bachan-
You hit it right on the head, and answered my query before I was
able to respond to it. I, and others, have said all along, and the
FAQ and your own admission can back us up, that the voting process is
honest and above board.
I have a straight-forward question: who is the individual that
wants to remain anonymous, and why so? Everyone else who has
responded to this issue, including the moderators that the charges
have been leveled at, has been forthright and unashamed to post their
thoughts. I think the accused have the right to know who their
accusers are.

-z

Then he went psycho... Yeah... Really. Zardoz, "Apocalypse Now" called, they want their extra back!
From: "zardoz582000" <zardoz582000@y...>
Date: Sun Nov 7, 2004 5:22 pm
Subject: Re: Integrity

--- In iyfanguild@yahoogroups.com, "Kristine Batey" <kbatey@n...>
wrote:
>
> The following was sent to me by a member who asked that I post it
to the list anonymously. -- Bachan

I'm Zardoz. Anybody who knows me knows I'm a predator. I'm an old
soldier. I plan things. I watch, and wait. I knew 40 posts ago,
that the perp or perps would raise their heads, like fish to the
bait. They couldn't help it. It was only a matter of time, once
this was brought out into the open. I also (correctly) surmised that
they would wish to do so anonymously. Their email is just loaded
with buzz words, yet has no substance; however, it does give glaring
clues into the motives of the writer. It screams at the reader of
spite and jealosy.

>
> It's taken me a long while to decide whether I wanted to chime in
> with my two cents or not. I've decided that I want to; however,
> I'm not comfortable with the situation and would rather do this
> anonymously.
> I know that anonymity is usually associated with "chicken," and
> maybe I am. I'm either a chicken, or diplomatic.

Of course you're uncomfortable. You started this whole mess. And
you are neither a chicken nor a diplomat - you're a coward.
>
>
> My concerns regarding the integrity of the IYFG awards were
> initially spawned after the First Quarter awards for 2004. As has
> been pointed out, moderators placed first in nearly every category
> in which they were nominated. While, yes, this seemed a bit fishy,
> I let it roll off my back. Coincidences occur, and I was willing
> to give our moderators the benefit of the doubt. But when the
> Second Quarter Awards brought nearly identical outcomes, it was
> enough to raise an eyebrow. For me, the seed of doubt was planted,
> and had begun to take root.

What happened during the First Quarter awards 2004 that so affected
you personally that you had to go on a mud-raking blitz to smear the
name of the IYFanGuild, Bachan, Numisma, and Delkaidin? It was
magnanimous of you to let the people's choice "roll off your back".
Why was it "fishy" that the two moderators, Numisma and Delkaidin,
won exceedingly well? Would it have been just as "fishy" if two
other well-known individuals had accomplished the same thing? And
why not two quarters in a row? They are both prolific, excellent
writers. I don't think it was the "seed of doubt" that was planted
after the second quarter, I think it was the "seed of jealosy" and
the "seed of grudge" that were planted in the first quarter. Nasty
things, weeds.
>
>
> I didn't think much about it until finding out that moderators were
> using the Guild to promote themselves through various means --
> bribing their readership for votes (not monetary bribery -- but
> other offers of favors in exchange for votes), and even hinting
> that they have the power to delete votes. I don't like thinking
> the worst of people, but this information gave me a sinking
> sensation. We're only human, and therefore imperfect -- are
> moderators immune to corruption?

Now that is out and out slander- a bald-faced lie. Where is your
proof? I know of no instances where ANY moderator has attempted to
promote themselves through bribery of any means, and I challenge the
readership to come forth with proof of same. Also, as Bachan has
said, as the FAQ says, as so many people have put forth, the
moderators do not have the power to delete votes- neither have they
ever hinted that they do. You don't like thinking the worst of
people? It's apparent by your words that you do. You offer no
proof, yet you put forth slander, lies and innuendoes intended to
stir up the readership and sway the innocent to your side. "We're
only human, and therefore imperfect - are moderators immune to
corruption?" How droll. Glaringly bad grammer, and any theologian
would have a field day with that one. Of course we're only human
(I'm beginning to think you're not). And imperfect - Jesus Christ
are Lord and Savior in Heaven is.... how dare you bring him into
this? No, moderators are not immune to corruption... but they don't
stoop to YOUR level.
>
>
> I think the important thing is to consider whether these awards are
> meant to be an honest attempt to praise the best of the fandom, or
> whether it's going to be just another popularity contest. Other
> users have suggested that the Oscars are this way, so it shouldn't
> be a big deal whether the IYFG is. I tend to disagree.

It will be what it will be, no control the moderators have can sway
the nominating process or the vote. If the membership makes it an
honest attempt to praise the best of the fandom through consciensious
use of their right to vote, it will be so. On the other hand, if
they chose to let it degrade into a popularity contest, then that is
what it will become. It is not the moderators fault.
>
>
> Personally, I'm of the opinion that the Mediaminer Fic Contest
> handles the situation admirably. Judges volunteer to handle
> different categories, one judge per category. Judges may submit
> fics, but NOT for the category they're judging. It's a yearly
> thing, rather than quarterly, and I suppose that questions can be
> brought up regarding whether or not it's fair for ONE judge to pick
> a winner, but they at least take measures to keep as much of their
> integrity intact as possible. I'm not saying that their way is the
> right way or the best way, but it's something to consider.

Who cares? That's beside the point. That's them and THEIR way of
doing things, this is US and OUR way of doing things. If you like
their way better, go join them.
>
>
> Yes, moderators do a lot of work when it comes to keeping the list
> on-track -- and they do a good job of keeping topics on topic, and
> other general mod duties. But I can't help but think (and please
> forgive me for quoting this) that "with great power comes great
> responsibility." The moderators have a lot of power to wield in
> this instance, and if they have the opportunity to delete votes,
> that combined with making offers to readers in exchange for votes is
> probably enough to cast doubt in the minds of some members. If the
> moderators feel it would be unfair for their 'fics to be
> disqualified from the competition, perhaps a monthly (or otherwise
> periodic) rotation of moderators might help -- and the moderators
> in charge for that period are ineligible. It's just a suggestion.

"Moderators do a lot of work" - you don't know the half of it. It
should be a full time paid job.
The only reason I forgive you for quoting that line is because it's
a direct quote from Spiderman - Peter Parker's uncle. And forgive
ME, but I think it was a little melodramatic and over the top. The
moderators have no great "power" (super hero, even...). All they are
are just glorified janitors (who happen to be getting the shaft). It
would be highly unfair for them to be disqualified from judging. The
only compensation I'm comfortable with is the one that has been
proposed about win once, hold the next. It allows fresh meat a
swing. As far as rotating mods, I'm against it for two reasons: it
would take an election and training period that would last more than
one month, and there's always the possibility of getting someone like
you as a mod. Now THAT would suck.
>
>
> As for the question of popularity, or people begging readers for
> votes -- I think that's pretty damned sad, but I also think there
> isn't anything that can be done to circumvent it aside from doing
> away with voting entirely and choosing a panel of impartial judges.

People are people. You can't be the morals police. Folks are
naturally proud of their accomplishments, and have a tendency to
stand on hilltops and yell, "Looka Me! Looka Me! I Won! I Won!" Let
them have their moment. You don't give the membership enough credit
either, and assume they are shallow or morons, incapable of making an
informed decision. Impartial judges? Who's to say they're
impartial? The same voters who can't vote on a good story?
EEENNNNHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Non Sequitor. Does not compute. Peoples is
peoples. Deal with it.

I'll say it again, and I now put it before the membership: Who are
you, and why do you wish to remain anonymous? Defend yourself and
your accusations, or shut up. The accused, as in any court of law,
or proceeding, have a right to know their accuser(s).

-z

"Them are fightig words, Zardoz!" Ookami-chan writes a biting reply back to Zardoz and leaves another IY ML.
From: "Ookami-chan" <akurei_koinu@y...>
Date: Sun Nov 7, 2004 6:20 pm
Subject: Zardoz's idea of Integrity

Okay, this seems to –unfortunately- be taking the same
twist as the Ecchi list. I had previously hoped that
I wouldn't find the need to step back any further into
a true hermit-esque presence in the fandom, but that
seems to have been too lofty a goal.

Zardoz, while I will openly admit to not particularly
care one way or another about the issues being
discussed here, you have encouraged me to make a
response to you.

This is an online list, not a court of law as you seem
to think you can liken it to. There's no need for a
member to openly declare themselves just to satisfy a
few people who will admittedly go and attack them for
their opinion. If they want to be anonymous, that's
their decision. Some people just might not have the
confidence to come out in the face of what they know
will be a hostile situation. It's their choice
regardless of who agrees or disagrees with it.

And you have unrealistic ideas for what you can expect
regarding someone's obligation to denounce anonymity
in an online setting. Online IS anonymous as a
general rule. No names, no faces… it's part of what
people find appealing about it.

Everything you said was derogatory, inflammatory, and
-in several cases- not very well written. I find it
to be remarkably ignorant to immediately assume that
everyone online is motivated by jealousy. Could I be
wrong? Sure. Do I think that's the case? No.

You've brought “God” into a discussion that in no way,
shape, or form should involve anything religious. Not
to mention what I assume was your attempt at humor was
lacking, coming across as nothing more than snide and
asinine.

I don't know the mods personally and I can't judge
their stories because I haven't read them. However, I
can say that fiction in general and fanfiction in
particular is purely subjective. Humans are fallible,
and your preaching is not only unappreciated, but
unwelcome.

Your email was childish and disgusted me on a whole
new level. The IY fandom has degenerated so much from
what it used to be that I don't even recognize it
anymore. And your response here has moved me from not
caring about the argument, to not wanting to be
anywhere near it.

Seriously, is this what the fandom has become? People
like you? People who not only find this sort of
idiocy to be perfectly acceptable, but actively
encourage it? If that's the case, then I'll have no
part in it.

=====
Ookami-chan

"The assailants were described as 'fancy lads,' 'nancy boys,' and 'stylish to
the point of questionable sexuality.'" ~G.R.I.F.T.E.R.S

Zardoz being the overwhelming picture of intelligence that he appears to be, replies back... Uh... You know Ookami-chan left and won't see it right?
From: "zardoz582000" <zardoz582000@y...>
Date: Sun Nov 7, 2004 7:02 pm
Subject: Re: Zardoz's idea of Integrity
Touche'. And everybody's entitled to their opinion. My reply was
in no way, shape, or form any more or less inflammatory or derogatory
than "anonymous"; however, I did have the balls to put my moniker on
it and not hide behind the skirts of the head moderator.
Everyone, including yourself, so far has had the gumption to put
their mark on THEIR say-so. All except ONE person - and that one
person has the most negative, slanderous things to say about the
issue and the moderators.
I'm glad I got under your skin. I meant to. The reference to God
was only a follow-up to the reference the individual made that we
were not perfect (meaning that there was only one person who was,
Jesus Christ).
This entire thing has been one-sided. The evil and insidious
moderators are out to bribe the constituants for votes and delete the
votes of the people they don't like, solidifying their power base of
glory and admiration.
Sure.
THEY HAVE DONE NOTHING. THEY ARE INNOCENT.

WHO STARTED THIS CRAP? A PROBLEM AND/OR A RUMOR HAS A BEGINNING.
IT DOESN'T JUST "COME ABOUT".

The environment is not hostile. I call 'em as I see 'em, a bigot's
a bigot, a liar's a liar. Nobody is out to lynch anybody; however,
if anyone has a problem with individuals running the show, they need
to come out and address their issues in person amongst us, instead of
scurrying around like a rat.
I personally don't care what anyone thinks of me on this list.
There is a wrong here, and it needs to be righted.

-z

Of course, shocked that anyone would be bold enough to spend that much time going over the many reasons why a painfully obvious MarySue-fic is a BAD FUCKING IDEA, Numisma did a fine job of usurping Urd-chan's heretofore unchallenged throne of true DIVA arrogance. Surprisingly (or maybe not) someone decided to call out the Emperor... Uh, Empress, and tell her she was naked. ChibiSeal then cranked the wank up with a review that left onlookers either agape and furious, or laughing their asses off, because nothing is more satisfying than when someone else says exactly what you're thinking. Numisma, honey, "write what you know" shouldn't be an excuse to MarySue Inuyasha with all of your "unique" characteristics.

First part of the so-called abusive review from ChibiSeal on FF.Net
ChibiSeal 2004-11-07 19 Signed
Let me first start by saying that I’m absolutely amazed at the number of reviews you have for this story. My amazement actually falls more under the category of shocked horror, since this is by far the worst butchery of English grammar I have come across in the fanfiction world in quite some time. However, the horror apparently doesn’t end there. The number of people that have referred this story to various lists and communities now has me questioning not only the sanity, but intelligence of the Inuyasha Fandom as a whole. Of course everyone has a right to their own opinion, and so I shall give you mine.

I was asked specifically to read chapter 19, so all of my examples will be from that chapter. First I will start with the more obvious of problems, grammar. You should have disclaimers before each of your chapters saying that you choose to ignore the majority of English grammar rules. Maybe your first language isn’t English. I honestly wish that this were true, for then I might be able to forget the atrocities that I found in this story.

“There were no words proper enough in either language Kagome understood to clearly express the level of shock that had nearly left her speechless and frozen in place at what she had just heard pour forth from the young man kneeling before her.”

“The words she wanted to speak, the questions she wanted to ask, dried up and died before she could voice them, her tongue going dry as her adrenal system slowly shook her into panic.”

“With frightening quickness, he tore her hands fully away from his head and sent her backwards onto Kouga's waterbed, flat on her back, her arms bent at the elbows and her wrists pinned on either side of her head.”

Those are some of your examples of English sentences. They all occur on the first half of the first page of this chapter. What do they have in common? They are all run-on sentences. Sentences have to stop at one point. Looping 3-5 sentences together in one sentence is considered bad grammar. Why? Because it keeps the author from actually conveying thoughts coherently. Each one of the examples above should have been broken into two, if not three to four other sentences.

“"Whoa, guys, what's going on--" Yura cut herself off as she came down the stairs and glanced upon the scene before her: Inuyasha on top of a girl --she must be the Kagome the guys had been talking about upstairs-- on her boyfriend's waterbed with his hair splayed all across his back and beginning to curtain along the sides of his head, the barely stirring form of Hiten on the ground --he must have been the 'asshat' in need of removal-- and Kouga, Sango, Miroku, and Chelsea staring somewhat apprehensively at the two and then glancing at each other, not daring to speak.”

This is just dash abuse. Are you sure you know the technical purpose of a dash? Let me inform you. It is used as a way to set aside a particular thought or clause. With that being said, you are still displaying an inability to end a single thought appropriately. Placing dashes all throughout this paragraph does not help in succinctly expounding on Yura’s thoughts regarding the situation at hand.

“Inuyasha slid the coiled grips of his hands upward to her wrists and tightened them, his facial expression still one of anticipated dread.”

On the subject of succinctness and sentence structure, you realize this sentence says that Inuyasha has tightened Kagome’s wrists right? As in somehow Kagome has screws in her wrists, and Inuyasha needed to whip out his handy dandy screwdriver in order to tighten them back into place. I never realized this was a cross over with Frankenstein. Are you going with the original Mary Shelley, or is this going to be some Hollywood hack version?

“The two males off to her right stifled some snickers as best they could so as to not draw attention.”

Yes, I can see Kouga and Miroku having way too much fun attempting to play Pictionary and becoming stumped when they cannot figure out how to draw attention.

“Inuyasha himself remained in place, slightly trembling as he tensed up, his breath heavily restrained.”

Wow, I never envisioned Inuyasha being the type to delve as far as auto-erotic asphyxiation. Let’s just say that things that sound good sometimes just don’t make a lick of sense. Can you actually restrain your own breath? I’m still coming up with no as the answer there.

“all he heard was the almost frantic but painfully slow heaving of Kagome's chest.”

Inuyasha must have some awesome hearing. I never once realized he was talented enough to hear the bones in her torso articulating against each other in a heaving fashion. Here you’ve even upped the ante and contradicted yourself. Frantic, but slow, for example. You can't be both at the same time. You can be one or the other. I suppose you think you’re being paradoxical, but a paradox only looks like a contradiction; upon further reflection, the reader finds it's not contradictory at all, but apt.

“The couple on the bed tensed up, Inuyasha particularly.”

Wow. Just take a moment and read that out loud. If you haven’t picked up on the problem yet, then you should probably just stop reading the rest of this review. Really, don’t bother. You are just too wordy when conciseness would do, and you’re too concise when a few more words are needed.

I think I’ll take a minute here to return to some of my favorite examples in order to discuss word choice.

“When she tried to speak, her throat choked up. The words she wanted to speak, the questions she wanted to ask, dried up and died before she could voice them, her tongue going dry as her adrenal system slowly shook her into panic.”

First, I’m so happy to know that my throat at any time can unexpectedly choke itself. Second, to find the adrenal system is an independent entity from my body. It has a mind of its own, and when it so chooses, it will pop right on out of me and do as it pleases. Unfortunately for the pathologist that I live with, when she heard the above sentence, all of her bodily systems decided to throw a coup against her. It was very messy. But I still don't understand how something could slowly shake you into panic -- shaking seems like something that would be a quick movement.

“Inuyasha slid the coiled grips of his hands upward to her wrists and tightened them, his facial expression still one of anticipated dread.”

I have yet to understand how your hand can be a "coiled grip." His hand is a coil? Like a snake? Hands don't coil unless they have unnaturally long fingers.

“his face contorting into a veneer of anger”

Veneer. Veneer. So is he angry or not? When using veneer like façade, it’s supposed to be superficial, as in fake. But in this instance, Inuyasha is quite pissed, so how can he have a veneer of anger?

“The two fur-covered appendages upon Inuyasha's head twitched in response to her words and turned toward her.”

Appendages. Last time I checked, and I could be way out of the loop here, ears really do not fall into the category of appendages. I guess if Inuyasha had somehow grown tentacle like ears, I could see appendage working. Other than that, really, appendage?

“I fucking will, you fuzzbutt, if you don't do as I say," Inuyasha retorted, his voice raw, a rumbling growl escaping his throat directly afterward”

Fuzzbutt. One of the better parts of the Inuyasha/Kouga relationship is the incredible insults. This just doesn’t cut it. I know from other chapters that Inuyasha is disgusted by Kouga because he is a furry; yet he isn’t bright enough to come with anything better than fuzzbutt as an insult. Something like “tail chaser” would still be better than fuzzbutt. Mostly for me, it’s because I wonder what secret desire Inuyasha has regarding Kouga’s butt. Maybe Kouga hasn’t shaved his nether regions recently, maybe Inuyasha just saw him in the shower one day, and noticed a considerable amount of peach fuzz. In other words, insults should at least reach the same established level they are at within the original series.

“Almost like Hannibal Lector - that famed fictional psychiatrist who had kept his cannibalistic and insane nature hidden well enough until he had tried to kill and eat the wrong man.”

“"I-Inuyasha," she finally uttered, the word like a tiny figure using rock climbing gear to make its way up her throat and finally reaching the back of her teeth to stand upon her tongue and go rap-rapping and tap-tapping upon the moist enamel that blocked its path, doing everything short of commanding 'Open, Sesame' to her jaws.”

Similes and Metaphors are supposed to help a writer by enhancing the images the writer is trying to project. With the Hannibal Lecter comment, you just appear to be pulling images at random. Speaking as one who has read Silence of the Lambs, Red Dragon, and Hannibal, I can point out several things wrong here. First: It's "Lecter." Second, that's not how he got caught [he got caught on a fluke]. Third "cannibalistic and insane" sort of sell that character short. First and foremost, it's Lecter's genius that makes him truly scary -- not the cannibalism, oddly enough. Even taking the side of being a total outsider, Hannibal Lecter was a psychopath and not just the garden variety nutso either. His character is more in line with Iago from Othello. Not that I expect you to understand this concept, it’s more for the other readers of this review. Inuyasha has shown time and again, that while he doesn’t like going along with society’s norms, he does want to be a part of society. Psychopaths lack this ability.

Rocking Climbing and Poe. The rock climbing imagery did not give one iota of anything to that scene other than crap. I started looking around wondering if I skipped a page. I mean, Kagome’s restrained on a waterbed and now we have moist enamel that made me think of nasty-ass, mildewed shower walls and little men in lederhosen. It really just served as a huge distraction from the real imagery at hand. Plus, only a pseudo wannabe Hot Topic Goth would ever consider slipping in a blatant, BLATANT, reference to Poe. You should drop the act and rather quickly I might add.

On a general note regarding your imagery and general scene description. Your imagery literally makes me think of fog. Sometimes in a not so bad paragraph, we get haze instead. None the less, imagery is supposed to clarify to a reader what the author is describing. Instead with you, we get this gray blob. I was constantly thinking “I guess she’s means this” or “I’m hoping that’s supposed to be this.” I didn’t realize that this was a “fill in the blank” type of story. What is even more puzzling is when you do decide to go all out like in the rock climbing bit, the more you attempt to describe, the more you ruin the scene. Even your simple imagery serves only to distract any reader from what you somehow manage to set as your scene.

For my grand finale, I have some simple, easy to understand comments about the following section.

“She squinted her eyes a bit to help focus her vision, hoping she was just seeing things. I only made her eyes and head hurt. Blinking several times, she suddenly said the first thing that came to her mind.
"Dog ears."
Wait, that didn't sound right. How… blunt. Kagome settled upon rethinking how to go about approaching the subject. Like, some method that did not involve simply blurting out what she saw on top of his head.
The two fur-covered appendages upon Inuyasha's head twitched in response to her words and turned toward her. Inuyasha himself remained in place, slightly trembling as he tensed up, his breath heavily restrained.
Oh my-- they moved! "Uh, Inuyasha?" she asked, wide eyed.
"What?" He did not lift up his head to look at her. In fact, he almost seemed to tilt his head forward even more to hide his face from her line of vision.
"Err, are those cosplay ears?"
He seemed to bristle. The two males off to her right stifled some snickers as best they could so as to not draw attention. While the ears did not turn toward the snickers, they did perk at attention stiffly. "No, they are not," he answered slowly and patronizingly, his voice straining as though his patience were being tried by a young child who knew nothing of what she was talking about. Well, at least she didn't scream.
The ears turned away from her and flattened against the rest of his head, almost becoming hidden, the action reminding her of a pissed off horse.”

Fucking HORSE!?!?!

So let’s just suppose for a minute that everyone reading Inuyasha Fanfiction doesn’t know that he is a dog demon. Given the fact that Kagome is plastered as all hell, would her first reaction really be dog ears? Wouldn’t she make the more common mistake, just like everyone else, that he in fact has cat ears?

Even with that aside, Kagome continues on with the dog ears, and you end up saying he looks like a pissed off horse. Analogies are meant to make the unknown or unknowable, KNOWABLE to the reader. How many readers actually know what a pissed off horse’s facial expression looks like? Not to mention their ears? Your analogies come off more sounding like a three year old trying to impress her teacher with something she just doesn’t understand.

I’m sure you will be pleased to know that my review shall end here. However, since I managed to force myself into reading every single fucking chapter of this driveling crap, you shall be graced with part two shortly.

ChibiSeal delivers on their sweet promise of Part Deux!
ChibiSeal Part Deux 2004-11-07 22 Signed
Like I said, there would be a second part.

Now that I have taken the time to read all of the chapters within Movie House Hanyou, I feel I now have an appropriate amount of information to pound your pathetic excuse of a story into the ground. In some ways I wish I could just sum up my feelings in a word or two where this story is concerned; however, I feel this to be truly a public service to rip apart any and all points of this story.

I could spend hours talking about how awful your characterizations are, yet I’m quite sure I can get my point across with focusing on just one. Inuyasha. Let me see if I can get this straight. Inuyasha has managed to live all the way to 2003. In that time, almost all youkai have been exterminated, Sesshoumaru most likely killed in Germany during World War II, and Inuyasha has made his way to America, Minneapolis of all places. He’s caught up in a life that involves massive amounts of drugs, bondage, S/M, and keeps himself under the cops' radar by keeping a job at a movie theater, which just adds to his running love of movies anyway, so it all works out hunky dory.

But what drives me insane regarding his character is the innumerable contradictions you place on him. You’ve mentioned that he does four different types of drugs, he’s rather violent with his so called friends (and to people that piss him off in one form or another), yet he’s terrified to engage in a relationship with a minor because of a previous experience, and because he’s afraid of losing his job. So yes, not all people involved in recreational drug use are by any means bad people, but really, how many of them continue to stick to all normal rules of society once they cross that line? The fact that he has become terrified that the police will catch him because of having sex with a minor, therefore exposing him as a hanyou, seems utterly ridiculous in the light of his numerous and far more telling illegal activities. Do the police in Minneapolis not have a narcotics division? Is this some altered state where all drugs are legal? Also I might mention that according to the following website(), the legal age for sexual consent in Minnesota is 16.

Then there is the ever present fear of rejection. So he’s had two hundred plus female lovers and 11 male ones. At this point in time, he mentions to Kagome that she’s met three of his previous lovers. Two of these lovers are most certainly still hanging around him, and are more than friendly with him, even knowing he’s a hanyou. Plus, he is surrounded by friends and not-so-close friends who know he’s a hanyou, and yet they still don’t reject him. The only occurrences in which he has been rejected that you mention are Dawn and Kikyou. I don’t see Kikyou counting in this instance, as she appears to have been a one-night fuck, and as far as I can tell he didn’t reveal himself to her. So all we have is Dawn. Dawn, who happens to be the same person with whom he decided to get upset because she had gone back to shooting heroine. What, he just can’t handle the harder stuff so he gets jealous when someone else does them? You really expect us to not see the glaring hypocrisy in that situation? So again, there is only Dawn who has rejected him for simply being a hanyou. Granted, I would be rejecting him for being stupid enough to get mad at me about my heroine habit, when it’s cool for him to do four different drugs.

Moving past some character issues, let’s just go back to summing up the plot a little. Kagome has come back to the US after having spent two years in Japan. She manages to get a job at a movie theater, and ends up meeting this rude guy, who ends up being her supervisor. Yet somehow she manages to like him. Of course they both can speak Japanese, so that makes things a bit easier when being secretive and there’s even the comment from Inuyasha that he prefers English. I’ll just leave that alone. So they instantly bond, Inuyasha deciding that he needs Kagome’s help to figure out what’s really happening at the movie theater.

The movie theater is being run by Naraku. My, how the mighty evil has fallen.

Can I just say that no one gives a dog’s dripping, dirty ass care about the movie theater plot? Naraku is just an ass. He’s not evil. He embezzles, treats the employees badly, and has other questionable tactics in running the theater, oh dear! The fact that you felt it necessary to keep adding to scenes with the movie theater just to validate your life experiences solidifies that you have no creative talent within you. It’s not interesting at all. AT ALL!! If anything, you should have just dropped the act with making the work place another plot, since you couldn’t even check your own state’s legal age of consent to smooth out your main plot line. Since we’ve established that there shouldn’t be any legal reason (i.e. age of consent) as to why Inuyasha and Kagome can’t have sex, then the only thing that is left is the ever-pathetic movie theater rule. So you try to explain that for Inuyasha, he’s just too attached to the movie theater, and for Kagome she just can’t handle having to change anything else in her life. Wow that’s just too romantic for me. Their love just isn’t strong enough to overcome one of them having to leave their current job. Kagome’s in high school for crying out loud.

So let’s skip ahead to some of the unrealistic qualities in certain scenes. At this particular moment I have a serious pet-peeve with the scene in which Kagome is drunk at Kouga’s party, and Hiten has started molesting her. Let’s recap: Miroku, Sango, and Chelsea are supposed to be watching out for the incredibly drunk Kagome. Inuyasha is upstairs somewhere in a room with Yura while she does his hair. Kouga is somewhere in between downstairs and upstairs. At the sight of Kagome being molested by someone, Miroku and Sango have the conversation that Miroku should run upstairs to get Inuyasha, and Sango will handle whoever is on top of Kagome, until Inuyasha comes downstairs.

Some time passes as Sango proceeds to be beaten by the now-recognized Hiten as Chelsea stands back to watch. Miroku is running around upstairs frantically searching from room to room looking for Inuyasha. When he finally happens across Kouga, he finds out where exactly Inuyasha is. At this moment he pounds on the door asking Inuyasha to let him because he needs to talk to him. Eventually the words come out that Kagome is being attacked, and that Inuyasha needs to come help before Sango is beaten. Inuyasha then turns to Yura, asking where some “items” are, and then he and Miroku make their way back downstairs. By this time, Sango is down and out for the count, and Chelsea has just stepped in, but to be beaten down immediately. Finally Inuyasha and Miroku arrive, where upon Inuyasha beats Hiten with a cat (known by those in the community, but to others cat o’ nines).

What in the holy hell?

First off, whenever anyone hits on Kagome in your story, Inuyasha is right there, coming out of nowhere normally to beat off the offender and to stake his claim. Then there is the incredible hearing that he has. Even being at the party, you still proved that his hearing was outstanding since he heard Kouga hitting on Kagome at the very beginning. So why in the hell didn’t anyone scream for Inuyasha?? Why the fuck was Miroku the one to run upstairs and look for Inuyasha?? How was it that when Miroku found him, Inuyasha decided to take the time to look for the proper equipment?? Come on! Honestly. Miroku and Sango would have both jumped onto Hiten, all the while screaming bloody murder for Inuyasha. And if he didn’t manage to come by the time they had even finished saying his name, Chelsea would have been the one to run upstairs screaming for him. And don’t you think that her screaming his name, also saying Kagome was being molested, that Inuyasha would have jumped through the damn floor and used his goddamn claws to rip apart whoever dared to touch Kagome? This overly simplified version makes more goddamn since than your SIX PAGES OF EXPOSITION.

Now on to my oh, so favorite part. You are literally warping the SM and Bondage communities around themes that would have them screaming for mercy, for the love of god mercy. I’ll go out on a limb here and say that many of your readers/reviewers are so starved for some kind of childish version of deviant sex that they can’t help but praise you for your attempts. And "attempts" is the only word I can use at your emulation of a world about which you clearly know very little. Your capacity to understand the world of bondage or even S/M (and yes they are two entirely different fetishes) is as limited as a 13 year old virgin, boy or girl, describing the mechanics and sensations involved in any type of any actual intercourse. You reek of vanilla sex, notably “confusing masturbatory fantasy with real life experience.” Your views on how these communities work, not to mention the members themselves, is truly a disgrace. It appears that the only thing you know about them is from reading amateur WebPages that gloss over the real intricacies of these communities.

For example, let me set a couple of things straight. Your using Jakotsu as a way to release information out into the open about Inuyasha’s sessions is unheard of. Why? Because true professionals within the community would never disclose to anyone the particular occurrences of one client’s session, or, for that matter, would never reveal the client’s name. Within these communities are massive blacklists for people who violate the confidentiality agreements. This is not a community you want to fuck around with when it comes to being blacklisted. Your name will be released everywhere, to all known dungeons and clubs, so that you may never work again.

On the other side to this, Inuyasha’s desire to only have punishment is actually not bondage or S/M. As many members will tell you, solely looking for punishment without the pleasure is just not how things are. Then there is also the fact that Inuyasha hates Jakotsu. You would never, and I mean NEVER, go to a dom that you hated or couldn’t trust. And while on the matter of doms, it would also never fucking matter if a dom was a woman or not. The miniscule picture that you attempt to show is just plain and simple abuse.

I never expected to come across a story that would not only be Mary Sued to hell, but would combine its efforts and force two of the characters to be humiliatingly subjected into the author’s real life. Mary Sue, Mary Sue, Mary Sue, how I love you. The only point that you have managed to miraculously convey in this interpretation of your life, is that it’s incredibly lame. Not only that, but also the fact that no one would ever be interested in this driveling crap if it didn’t contain the characters of Inuyasha.

Wrapping back around to where it seems to have all begun, the Green Tea forums, Numisma posts a wailing cry of "harssment" and abuse (woe!) that rouses her fangirl-heavy audience into a frenzy of ego-stroking. Let's not forget that the Green Tea forums is where Numisma's thread on Urd-chan's Temple of the Dog provided much wank for the hungry masses.

Like dogs to Numisma's Pavlov, the minions responded with resounding cries against this upstart ChibiSeal, who clearly does not know good literature from a hole in the ground. All of us really need to thank the mindless masses for proving that in this fandom, all you REALLY need is a complete lack of humility and an assload of arrogance. In an attempt to comfort Numisma's bruised ego, they dropped such names in comparison with her work as Tolkien, Shakespeare, and Hemingway. Because with such a "classic" as Movie House Hanyou, ChibiSeal was obviously "just jealous." ChibiSeal could probably never write as convincing a MarySue as Numisma did. ^__~

After apparantly failing to get the point across on the GT forum, Ookami-chan retreats to his/her journal to rant about the IY WANK in that venue. Because where better for a proper hermit to rant and rage than in their own little cave? Revealing personal involvement in the seedy underbelly of kink and bondage to add weight to the harsh words about the so-called BDSM flavoring to MHH. Well, at least now we know how to get under Ookami-chan's skin -- misrepresent the BDSM community. *makes a note* If only Howard Hughes had been as easy to tempt out of reclusion.

"Getting beat with a riding crop gets me hot!! Now where the FUCK is the rest of "Turnabout is Fair Play"?!"