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Jen Littlebottom ([info]dwarfjen) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-11-27 18:34:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Mildly Amused

STAR WARS IZ SATANIC
On the Rotten Tomatoes forum, what is either a dedicated troll or a true nutbar by the name of John B, calls for a boycott of Star Wars.

There are a few comments of 'yeah right, you'll be there on opening night like the rest of us' and 'YES I WILL BOYCOTT', until somebody notices John B.'s sig:

Boycott Star Wars. It is the story of the "rebellion" of Satan and his angels from a Satanic POV.


Then the fun starts. kerrwyvern uses up a month's worth of punctuation supplies in a single sentence:

Can life not have one flipping discussion, can people make one flipping movie, or do one thing and not put some sort of religious twist on it!!!!!!!!!!????????????!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

And other people get in the act with stunning displays of maturity:

Hahahahaha! You're a retard!

and/or making pointless leaps of logic from the land of 'movie discussion' to the dread plains of 'political arguement'

Seriously dude. You're an idiot. It is obvious from your religious conspiracy theories that you either voted for, or support Bush.

Others try to use actual logic on John B., but he appears to be wielding some sort of Great Shield of Antilogic, alongside his Sword of Conspiracy Theories +5.

Favourite quote of this thread:

And just so you know... the Wars of Independence were a sham. The Americans lost the war in 1812 but struck a secret deal with the British to share clandestine power. Thus sheeple are motivated by ridiculous loyalities a false constitution and a silly flag when the real power resides in the hands of an unelected trans-atlantic hidden body.


In another thread, John B. expands and explains his 'Star Wars is Satanic' theory.


Anakin Skywalker is supposed to be God's Chosen one...The Christ. He was even concieved immaculately and predicts he can stop people from dying. To the rebels he treacherously betrays them by taking sides with The Emperor.

The Emperor is portrayed from the point of view of those opposing a "tyrant" God. The Empire is supposed to represent the host of heaven, loyal to their master. The Jedi Purge is obviously supposed to allude to the destruction of the Nephilim. Notice how Plo Koon has the signature nephilimic "longhead" and all the jedi look like antediluvian monsters.

Worse of all, Yoda is a green reptilian. Need I elaborate on this?

Luke Skywalker, is well "Luke" the luciferous blonde-haired "Skywalker." It's all too corny when you finally comprehend it all. Leia is our quintessential pagan Goddess, with "Padme" serving as her proto-type "Mother." We even have "thousand year" falcon THAT DESTROYS the Emperor's plans.

I'm sure that there are many many occultic referrences in these movies, and even more certain that George Lucas ("George" "Lucas" no less) did not originate the ideas for the original movie, but instead got them handed to him in the time honored hollywood tradition of ripping off talented writers too poor to fund a law suit. This would go a long way towards explaining why this Emperor's lack of clothing becomes more and more obvious with each movie. Ignore all the auto-biographical religious undertones, and patent dismissal of Hollywood on GL's part. He has a company called "Industrial Lights and Magic" (ILM) (can you say ILluMinati ?) that has almost single-handedly sustained hollywoof for the past 25 years.


Apparently the board members haven't learnt not to take the troll-bait yet, because two more pages of 'discussion' ensues.

Bonus, from the same board: Incomprehensible RPG info written in l33t!




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(Post a new comment)


[info]lurker32
2004-11-27 09:20 pm UTC (link)
Hollywoof?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]aruru, 2004-11-27 10:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shun_mcdaddy, 2004-11-28 05:49 am UTC

[info]solelyfictional
2004-11-27 09:21 pm UTC (link)
Emperor's lack of clothing becomes more and more obvious with each movie

Whodewhat? The Emperor gets naked? Nnngh... Brainmelt.

And what's with all the quotation marks? OKay, there's some Luke.Lucas/Lucifer reference, but "Skywalker", "Padme" and "George"? Did I miss something?

Milton would make this guy explode.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bunny, 2004-11-27 11:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]solelyfictional, 2004-11-27 11:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]adinaj69, 2004-11-28 12:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alpheratz, 2004-11-28 01:59 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 03:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alpheratz, 2004-11-28 03:54 am UTC
*drive by icon love* - [info]drhenryjekyll, 2004-11-28 05:17 pm UTC
Re: *drive by icon love* - [info]alpheratz, 2004-11-28 10:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2004-11-28 01:07 am UTC
(no subject) - meshou, 2004-11-28 02:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dwarfjen, 2004-11-28 02:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]renjenri, 2004-11-28 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shinigami_co, 2004-11-28 05:49 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-30 07:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]littleshebear, 2004-11-28 02:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shinigami_co, 2004-11-28 05:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2004-11-29 06:19 am UTC

[info]gal_montag
2004-11-27 09:42 pm UTC (link)
blaggleschnigget?

Is there like, a school where people can go to learn how to make up crazy ass theories? Because I so want to waste my money and go there.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lukita, 2004-11-27 10:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2004-12-01 03:17 am UTC

[info]solelyfictional
2004-11-27 09:44 pm UTC (link)
A few other choice quotes:

From a sig: Did you know that Christianity is no longer the most popular religion? Budism is.
Buddhism, darling, Buddhism. Named after Buddha, not Buda.

John B himself: I know it's difficult to comprehend, but the fact that a man called Geoege Lucas can beguile almost every young man on earth surely does not sit well with the almighty
George Lucas beguiles young men? My slash alarm is going off.

Tay @ CB: This thread should come with a "May Lower Thread Reader's IQ" warning.
Yes. Yes it should.

BabyEater: Are you happy now smart guy? You made many of us feel stupid. I'm going to cry myself to sleep now.

Adelianna: What about Mel Gibson? He's in Hollywood, so is he Satanic as well?
John B: Also a virgin birth alone is cute
The whole conversation between Adeliana and JohnB is a hoot. Two people claiming to be Christian, both apparently quite conservative about it, fighting over religion, contradicting each other on the finer points (and not so fine - I'm not Christian but even I'm pretty sure Chrisst is God, and vice versa, and a lot of Christians gets a bit arsey when people refer to them as seperate entities) of their shared theology and slagging each other off.

Hey budy: I'll start worrying when they try to make bar code tattoos or microchips implanted under the skin mandatory or death. Isn't that what the bible says will happen (among many other things of course)?
That's a very modern Bible you're reading. Sure it's not a 1984 ripoff?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - mbutterflye, 2004-11-27 09:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]solelyfictional, 2004-11-27 09:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - mbutterflye, 2004-11-27 10:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-27 10:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luckdragonfujur, 2004-11-27 11:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]artimusdin, 2004-11-28 12:49 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 01:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]artimusdin, 2004-11-28 01:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]calluna, 2004-11-28 04:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]artimusdin, 2004-11-28 04:58 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:35 am UTC
Yes, I thought so too... - [info]silrayn, 2004-11-28 11:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-01 02:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]calluna, 2004-11-28 04:51 am UTC
OT icon love ... - [info]bubosquared, 2004-11-28 06:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:33 am UTC
(no subject) - meshou, 2004-11-28 01:51 am UTC
(no subject) - mbutterflye, 2004-11-28 03:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2004-11-28 08:13 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2004-11-28 08:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2004-11-28 09:44 am UTC
I love those fish symbol parodies - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 10:09 am UTC
Re: I love those fish symbol parodies - [info]adora_spintriae, 2004-11-28 10:55 am UTC
Re: I love those fish symbol parodies - [info]jaig, 2004-11-28 03:02 pm UTC
Re: I love those fish symbol parodies - (Anonymous), 2004-11-29 07:47 am UTC
Re: I love those fish symbol parodies - (Anonymous), 2004-11-29 10:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_linnet, 2004-11-27 10:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]meryatem, 2004-11-28 12:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]baskinglizard, 2004-11-28 08:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kinneas, 2004-11-28 07:14 am UTC
(no subject) - meshou, 2004-11-28 12:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kinneas, 2004-11-28 10:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-29 01:15 am UTC

[info]seppuku
2004-11-27 09:54 pm UTC (link)
He has a company called "Industrial Lights and Magic" (ILM) (can you say ILluMinati ?)

Can you say "Someone read too much Dan Brown"?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bubba_ray, 2004-11-27 10:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2004-11-27 10:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bunny, 2004-11-27 11:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubba_ray, 2004-11-28 06:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laurelin_kit, 2004-11-30 05:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seppuku, 2004-11-28 05:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-11-28 09:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]schoenschoen, 2004-11-28 09:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerel, 2004-11-28 05:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]madelfdisease, 2004-11-29 03:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yamashitaaki, 2004-11-28 06:54 pm UTC

[info]xero_sky
2004-11-27 10:07 pm UTC (link)
I know it's difficult to comprehend, but the fact that a man called Geoege Lucas can beguile almost every young man on earth surely does not sit well with the almighty

Would it be better if his name was Bob?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]elgato_gamgins, 2004-11-28 07:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2004-11-29 01:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]xero_sky, 2004-11-28 11:19 am UTC

tintin
2004-11-27 10:14 pm UTC (link)
Actually, that guy's interpretation (or whatever) of Star Wars is kind of cool, in that whole has-way-too-much-free-time sort of way.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:39 am UTC
(no subject) - tintin, 2004-11-28 08:42 am UTC
Astonished Brit
(Anonymous)
2004-11-27 10:34 pm UTC (link)
And just so you know... the Wars of Independence were a sham. The Americans lost the war in 1812 but struck a secret deal with the British to share clandestine power. Thus sheeple are motivated by ridiculous loyalities a false constitution and a silly flag when the real power resides in the hands of an unelected trans-atlantic hidden body.

*Chokes, and coughs tea all up over Union Jack antimacasser*

Damn. Always the same with colonies, isn't it? No matter how thoroughly you spring-clean, there's always a couple you forget to liberate.









(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Astonished Brit - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2004-11-28 01:25 am UTC
Re: Astonished Brit - [info]bubosquared, 2004-11-28 04:24 am UTC
Re: Astonished Brit - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-11-28 09:07 am UTC
Re: Astonished Brit - [info]yamashitaaki, 2004-11-28 06:50 pm UTC
Re: Astonished Brit - [info]fuzzytowers, 2004-11-29 12:40 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-11-27 10:40 pm UTC (link)
Eh, Milton did it better.

So I guess if John's wacky theory is correct, then Lucus is still nothing more than a 2-bit hack.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]gaisce, 2004-11-28 02:03 am UTC

[info]luckdragonfujur
2004-11-27 11:10 pm UTC (link)
Luke Skywalker, is well "Luke" the luciferous blonde-haired "Skywalker." It's all too corny when you finally comprehend it all. Leia is our quintessential pagan Goddess, with "Padme" serving as her proto-type "Mother." We even have "thousand year" falcon THAT DESTROYS the Emperor's plans.


I believe this guy is overestimating Lucas o.O
That's an interesting theory, though... With a more thoroughly research and deeper thought, it could be a good fanfiction XD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2004-11-29 06:54 pm UTC

[info]sir_hellsing
2004-11-27 11:37 pm UTC (link)
I'm so glad I fleed this fandom just in time.

(Reply to this)


[info]cairea
2004-11-27 11:49 pm UTC (link)
Worse of all, Yoda is a green reptilian. Need I elaborate on this?

So tempted to go over and tell him Yoda was based on a Mormon. *resists mightily on the grounds that he'd probably react with "Yes, this proves my point."*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]alpheratz, 2004-11-28 01:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cairea, 2004-11-28 01:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alpheratz, 2004-11-28 01:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaseroque, 2004-11-28 04:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alpheratz, 2004-11-28 10:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gaisce, 2004-11-28 02:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]schoenschoen, 2004-11-28 10:01 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]tempslut, 2004-11-28 02:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2004-11-29 02:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-11-28 09:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]schoenschoen, 2004-11-28 10:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2004-11-28 06:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2004-11-28 06:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dwarfjen, 2004-11-29 12:30 pm UTC

[info]impendingdoom
2004-11-28 12:14 am UTC (link)
I can't believe I actually tried to decipher some of the RPG. My eyes hurt.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tabby_phobos, 2004-11-28 01:23 am UTC
Icon! - [info]khym_chanur, 2004-11-28 03:33 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)

(Anonymous)
2004-11-28 01:18 am UTC (link)
But George Lucas is evil. Why else would he inflict us with those prequels. And he has us brainwashed, because we just keep going back! OMGWTFBBQIRSASPCA!!12345

(Reply to this)


[info]blackhat
2004-11-28 02:27 am UTC (link)
Well, I always knew that *Jar Jar* came from the lowest pit of hell . . .

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]yamashitaaki, 2004-11-28 05:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2004-11-28 06:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-11-28 09:11 am UTC

[info]wakuchan
2004-11-28 02:48 am UTC (link)
*boggles* Weeell, on the one hand that's an interesting theory.
On the other...he's batshit. I'm going with that one. Maybe if he didn't seem to BELIEVE in this theory so much...>_>
He has a company called "Industrial Lights and Magic" (ILM) (can you say ILluMinati ?)
Matt? Matt Bluestone, is that you? (ie, all I ever needed to know about Secret Societies I learned from Gargoyles XD)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]back_button, 2004-11-28 08:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wakuchan, 2004-11-28 08:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cheshireempress, 2004-11-28 08:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wakuchan, 2004-11-28 08:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alecto, 2004-11-28 09:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wakuchan, 2004-11-28 09:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alecto, 2004-11-28 10:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cheshireempress, 2004-11-28 11:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]goblin, 2004-11-30 12:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]back_button, 2004-11-28 11:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lucky13, 2004-11-28 06:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eryn, 2004-11-29 12:45 am UTC

[info]livviebway
2004-11-28 03:09 am UTC (link)
How nice! I just watched the trilogy for the first time this weekend since they came out in theaters in '97 or something. And some wank to go along with it!

Emperor's lack of clothing becomes more and more obvious with each movie

....I don't remember this. Please explain? *whimper*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2004-11-29 02:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2004-11-29 01:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]livviebway, 2004-11-30 01:58 am UTC

[info]wolfgangmozart
2004-11-28 03:38 am UTC (link)
OK. I have some relatives that believe in stuff like this (reptilians and illuminati and microchips and all that). I need to keep them far from this wank.

Leia is our quintessential pagan Goddess, with "Padme" serving as her proto-type "Mother."

This part made me wonder if Luke and Leia would make a good Pagan Emperor and Empress (per the latest pagan wank at [info]otf_wank...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Hm. An SW tarot deck? - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:50 am UTC
Re: Hm. An SW tarot deck? - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 09:04 am UTC
Re: Hm. An SW tarot deck? - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 10:11 am UTC
Re: Hm. An SW tarot deck? - [info]lucario, 2004-11-28 01:16 pm UTC
Re: Hm. An SW tarot deck? - [info]back_button, 2004-11-28 11:40 pm UTC

[info]rhi_silverflame
2004-11-28 03:50 am UTC (link)
I would call troll in a second -- if I hadn't heard multiple relatives of mine come up with nearly identical theories about all kinds of stuff, including the Adam West Batman series and Ghostwriter.

I still cherish fond memories of playing with my Star Trek trading cards on my great-aunt's porch and being lectured by an uncle that portraying aliens was a tool of the devil to get us to blaspheme against God, because the mere notion that aliens existed ran counter to creationism.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]wrenlet, 2004-11-28 04:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2004-11-28 06:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhi_silverflame, 2004-11-28 09:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2004-11-28 08:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lucario, 2004-11-28 01:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alecto, 2004-11-28 09:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]teratologist, 2004-11-29 06:04 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-29 12:46 am UTC

[info]isntitironic
2004-11-28 07:31 am UTC (link)
Hot damn. There was a free lecture given at my school a couple of years ago that claimed to be 'a brief Christian perspective' on Star Wars. Now I wish I hadn't decided I had better things today... if it had been half this insane, it would have been worth my time and then some!

(Reply to this)


[info]elgato_gamgins
2004-11-28 07:33 am UTC (link)
Incomprehensible RPG info written in l33t!

My brain hurts after reading that. Where was this person during english class?

(Reply to this)


[info]back_button
2004-11-28 08:05 am UTC (link)
Emperor's lack of clothing becomes more and more obvious with each movie

Is he talking about Palpatine or making a refrence to that old story involving a nekkid king? So confusicating.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:47 am UTC

[info]adora_spintriae
2004-11-28 08:07 am UTC (link)
...the time honored hollywood tradition of ripping off talented writers too poor to fund a law suit.

The Japanese?

The part that really makes me "WTF" at his rant is this...

("George" "Lucas" no less)

*"boggles"*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]adora_spintriae, 2004-11-28 08:46 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:51 am UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lucky13, 2004-11-28 06:33 pm UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-29 07:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lucky13, 2004-11-28 06:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alecto, 2004-11-28 10:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 08:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lucario, 2004-11-28 01:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]livingadream, 2004-11-28 07:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2004-11-29 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrandomlurker, 2004-11-29 03:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2004-11-28 06:38 pm UTC

(Reply from suspended user)
(no subject) - [info]msmanna, 2004-11-28 03:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 04:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2004-11-28 06:33 pm UTC
Yes Minister - (Anonymous), 2004-11-28 07:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2004-11-28 06:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]msmanna, 2004-11-28 07:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2004-11-29 10:19 am UTC



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