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firebad ([info]firebad) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2004-12-02 08:54:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Amped
Entry tags:person: the countess

We have a Royal Update.
Ahem. Fandom_Wank?

YOU ARE JUST LIKE THE PAPARAZZI!

AND THE "COUNTESS" JUSTINE BAKER HAS YOUR PHONE NUMBER!

EDIT: No, she really does! She's started posting them, too.

EDIT THE SECOND: We have a mirror. Not just Alexander, folks! Marilyn and Hemingway and Cleopatra, oh my! Thanks to lurker 32!
Page 1 of 7
<<[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] >>

(Post a new comment)


[info]phosfate
2004-12-02 01:00 am UTC (link)
Jeez, Countess, you *beep* your mother with that mouth?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]oulangi, 2004-12-02 01:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_terrific, 2004-12-02 07:30 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-03 07:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sajasma, 2004-12-03 08:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oulangi, 2004-12-03 11:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kraken_sleeps, 2004-12-03 01:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2004-12-03 04:21 pm UTC

[info]ingrid
2004-12-02 01:00 am UTC (link)
I think her *beep* button is stuck.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2004-12-02 01:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mouseybrown, 2004-12-02 01:21 am UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]mouseybrown, 2004-12-02 12:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oulangi, 2004-12-02 01:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skjeve, 2004-12-02 01:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 01:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2004-12-02 02:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tekenduis, 2004-12-02 03:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonjaguar, 2004-12-02 01:39 am UTC

[info]skjeve
2004-12-02 01:07 am UTC (link)
Most of you, I already have your direct contact info.

Call me, baby. ~wink~ We'll do lunch.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mister_terrific, 2004-12-02 07:32 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 09:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skjeve, 2004-12-02 12:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nonny_mouse, 2004-12-02 07:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2004-12-03 06:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2004-12-04 04:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_terrific, 2004-12-05 03:39 am UTC

[info]_vie_
2004-12-02 01:14 am UTC (link)
Grow up boys and girls, or you are going to be really kicking yourselves in the ass soon. I'm not quiting my career from your remarks, so dream on. But, what you are saying on your little website is pretty *beep* uncalled for and cruel.

*snerk* I'd really hate to see what would happen if she got cast as something besides 'Uncredited Wedding Guest' in a movie and actually got reviews.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2004-12-02 05:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_vie_, 2004-12-02 06:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2004-12-02 06:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sluggirl, 2004-12-02 11:04 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-05 01:51 am UTC

[info]iris
2004-12-02 01:17 am UTC (link)
This is better than watching TV anyday. XD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nonny_mouse, 2004-12-02 07:31 pm UTC

[info]mouseybrown
2004-12-02 01:19 am UTC (link)
So now she's descended from William I? Is that on the Cherokee side or the non-Cherokee side? Because I get confused.

I don't think the world's supply of Prozac would be sufficient to get that mad, rabid bitch to calm down.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]atalantapendrag, 2004-12-02 01:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 01:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]atalantapendrag, 2004-12-02 01:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-12-03 08:27 am UTC
... - [info]atalantapendrag, 2004-12-03 08:34 am UTC
... - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-12-03 11:39 pm UTC
... - [info]atalantapendrag, 2004-12-03 11:44 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2004-12-05 01:52 am UTC
... - [info]atalantapendrag, 2004-12-05 02:04 am UTC
... - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-12-05 02:05 am UTC
... - [info]atalantapendrag, 2004-12-05 03:07 am UTC

[info]goldberry
2004-12-02 01:21 am UTC (link)
Holy crap! *Dies laughing* Oh man... She so crazeh. I wonder when she's going to throw her Internet Lawyer(TM) at us.

(Reply to this)


[info]ahiru
2004-12-02 01:23 am UTC (link)
e. creating your own slam website

Fandom Wank is our own Countess slam site? Oh dear. Seems we have another who doesn't realize she's the turkey.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]virago, 2004-12-02 01:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2004-12-02 01:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 01:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 01:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mouseybrown, 2004-12-02 02:02 am UTC
... - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 03:11 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 05:50 am UTC
... - [info]mouseybrown, 2004-12-02 12:54 pm UTC
... - [info]squeakytoy, 2004-12-02 10:56 am UTC
... - [info]andsoyoudied, 2004-12-02 10:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2004-12-02 01:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2004-12-02 02:07 am UTC
... - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 02:18 am UTC
... - [info]nekoneko, 2004-12-02 02:28 am UTC
... - [info]iczer6, 2004-12-02 02:30 am UTC
... - [info]aruru, 2004-12-02 05:26 am UTC
... - [info]plazmah, 2004-12-02 05:49 am UTC
... - [info]iczer6, 2004-12-02 06:25 am UTC
... - [info]kinneas, 2004-12-02 07:35 am UTC
... - [info]shinigami_co, 2004-12-02 09:04 am UTC
... - [info]naienko, 2004-12-03 01:11 am UTC
... - [info]plazmah, 2004-12-03 02:00 am UTC
... - [info]annabelle_lee, 2004-12-02 08:55 am UTC
... - [info]kaiser_chan, 2004-12-02 05:41 am UTC
... - [info]plazmah, 2004-12-02 05:55 am UTC
... - [info]kalika_maxwell, 2004-12-02 09:52 am UTC
... - [info]iczer6, 2004-12-02 07:34 pm UTC
... - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 08:33 pm UTC
... - [info]kinneas, 2004-12-02 07:38 am UTC
... - [info]sanguinary, 2004-12-02 08:27 am UTC
... - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2004-12-02 02:28 pm UTC
... - [info]funwithrage, 2004-12-02 06:36 pm UTC
... - [info]virago, 2004-12-04 10:01 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 08:19 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2004-12-03 03:26 am UTC
... - [info]littlekitsch, 2004-12-03 04:30 pm UTC
... - [info]renata_hpjc, 2004-12-02 08:05 pm UTC
... - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-12-03 09:01 am UTC
... - [info]indis_earfalas, 2004-12-03 05:24 pm UTC
... - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-12-05 02:12 am UTC
... - [info]virago, 2004-12-02 03:22 am UTC
... - [info]starherd, 2004-12-02 11:50 am UTC
... - [info]telophase, 2004-12-02 04:20 pm UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 07:03 pm UTC
... - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 08:45 pm UTC
... - [info]puipui, 2004-12-03 12:23 am UTC
... - [info]silrana, 2004-12-03 04:57 am UTC
... - [info]puipui, 2004-12-03 07:49 pm UTC
... - [info]virago, 2004-12-03 02:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2004-12-02 03:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melusine, 2004-12-02 05:58 am UTC
... - [info]pipssister, 2004-12-02 08:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-03 03:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarracenia, 2004-12-02 02:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2004-12-02 05:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2004-12-02 06:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jedilora, 2004-12-02 04:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ahiru, 2004-12-02 01:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2004-12-02 01:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2004-12-02 01:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2004-12-02 07:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2004-12-02 08:09 pm UTC
I bet you think this wank is about yooou~! - [info]windex_junkie, 2004-12-10 06:02 am UTC

[info]andsoyoudied
2004-12-02 01:28 am UTC (link)
I think she's just jealous because she can't claim Jesus and Mary Magdalene.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 01:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]byagghametta, 2004-12-02 01:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 01:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]byagghametta, 2004-12-03 07:07 pm UTC
... - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-03 07:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alina_kalime, 2004-12-02 06:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]byagghametta, 2004-12-03 07:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]andsoyoudied, 2004-12-03 07:56 pm UTC
... - [info]slackerbitch, 2004-12-06 05:23 pm UTC
... - [info]andsoyoudied, 2004-12-09 05:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oulangi, 2004-12-02 01:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-12-03 11:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]andsoyoudied, 2004-12-03 11:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]leto, 2004-12-04 01:14 am UTC

kroki_refur
2004-12-02 01:33 am UTC (link)
OMG some of us are over 21!!!1!

(Someone explain to me how this is relevant? Is it because we can snark *and* drink at the same time, even in America?)

Also, your icon is teh kewliez. *nods*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 01:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jedilora, 2004-12-02 06:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 07:54 pm UTC

[info]bunny
2004-12-02 01:35 am UTC (link)
Didn't she say earlier that there is no such thing as "bad publicity"?

The hissyfits remind me a bit of Crystal Gamgee.

I think we have a new contender for the "Queen of Wank" title. Anne Rice, Crystal, Amy Bitter, MsAllegro and now the Countess of Wank.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kinneas, 2004-12-02 07:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2004-12-02 06:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]blackhat, 2004-12-03 12:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fatesarchitect, 2004-12-04 09:44 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-12-02 01:36 am UTC (link)
Whoop, bring on the Internet Lawyers!

http://imdb.com/title/tt0346491/board/thread/13653634?d=13653634#13653634

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 01:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oulangi, 2004-12-02 01:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julia, 2004-12-02 01:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]starherd, 2004-12-02 12:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jedilora, 2004-12-02 04:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaina, 2004-12-02 01:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kinneas, 2004-12-02 08:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2004-12-03 02:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]slackerbitch, 2004-12-06 05:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-06 07:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - kroki_refur, 2004-12-02 01:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 01:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]megmurry, 2004-12-02 01:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2004-12-02 05:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mael, 2004-12-02 04:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-12-03 09:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ahiru, 2004-12-02 01:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seto_fangirl, 2004-12-02 01:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]virago, 2004-12-02 02:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2004-12-02 07:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jess_d_ripper, 2004-12-02 09:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nonny_mouse, 2004-12-02 07:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rock_ore, 2004-12-02 01:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mouseybrown, 2004-12-02 02:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 02:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaoscheebs, 2004-12-02 05:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]deoridhe, 2004-12-02 07:23 am UTC
... - [info]kinneas, 2004-12-02 08:05 am UTC
... - [info]skjeve, 2004-12-02 12:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mouseybrown, 2004-12-02 12:56 pm UTC
... - [info]mael, 2004-12-02 04:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2004-12-02 03:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]prettypinkkitty, 2004-12-02 03:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2004-12-02 04:30 am UTC
... - [info]prettypinkkitty, 2004-12-02 12:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_terrific, 2004-12-02 07:38 am UTC
... - [info]shinigami_co, 2004-12-02 09:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fandom_bitch, 2004-12-03 09:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]danceswithelvis, 2004-12-02 03:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2004-12-02 04:33 am UTC
... - [info]sesana, 2004-12-02 06:50 am UTC
... - [info]danceswithelvis, 2004-12-02 07:12 am UTC
... - [info]kinneas, 2004-12-02 08:07 am UTC
... - [info]mrbimble, 2004-12-02 05:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2004-12-02 04:42 am UTC
... - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 08:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2004-12-02 06:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2004-12-02 07:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2004-12-02 07:34 am UTC
Disgruntled Criminology Dork - [info]xturtle, 2004-12-02 10:37 am UTC
Re: Disgruntled Criminology Dork - [info]xturtle, 2004-12-02 10:38 am UTC
Re: Disgruntled Criminology Dork - [info]nonny_mouse, 2004-12-02 07:37 pm UTC

[info]sorchar
2004-12-02 01:36 am UTC (link)
Oh my! I must prepare for her visit - what does one serve to royalty? Caviar? Pouilly-Fuisse? Pate de fois gras?

Then again, this bitch is so fucking insane, I could probably serve her generic mac and cheese and she'd never know the difference.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]teratologist, 2004-12-02 04:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 05:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2004-12-02 06:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jedilora, 2004-12-02 06:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-03 05:56 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-03 03:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentree, 2004-12-04 02:39 am UTC

[info]seto_fangirl
2004-12-02 01:38 am UTC (link)
**dies laughing**

Psycho much? Christ, someone needs to give the woman a tranquilizer and some alcohol. And if that doesn't calm her rabid ass down, maybe someone should just smack her really hard? I heard thats what you're supposed to do to someone whos hysterical and won't calm down.

(Reply to this)


[info]firebad
2004-12-02 01:45 am UTC (link)
OMG, she's called the NSDAR on us? We'll be invaded by women in floppy hats, demanding recompense. And iced tea.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 01:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ahiru, 2004-12-02 02:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 02:10 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 04:36 am UTC
... - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 05:18 am UTC
... - [info]ahiru, 2004-12-02 05:26 am UTC
... - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 05:31 am UTC
... - [info]sheep_n_wolf, 2004-12-02 05:41 am UTC
... - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 05:45 am UTC
... - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 05:58 am UTC
... - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 06:04 am UTC
... - [info]dawnswalker, 2004-12-02 06:05 am UTC
... - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2004-12-02 08:10 am UTC
... - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 05:10 pm UTC
... - [info]jedilora, 2004-12-02 04:30 pm UTC
... - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 05:14 pm UTC
... - [info]jedilora, 2004-12-02 05:17 pm UTC
... - [info]goldberry, 2004-12-02 05:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]psychopracter, 2004-12-02 02:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 02:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2004-12-02 03:12 am UTC
... - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 03:15 am UTC
... - [info]kijikun, 2004-12-02 05:19 am UTC
... - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 05:32 am UTC
... - [info]sesana, 2004-12-02 06:28 am UTC
... - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2004-12-02 03:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebad, 2004-12-02 02:26 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 07:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 03:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2004-12-02 04:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 05:33 am UTC
... - [info]crickets, 2004-12-02 07:57 am UTC
... - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 10:11 am UTC
... - [info]jedilora, 2004-12-02 04:31 pm UTC
... - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-03 05:55 am UTC
... - [info]darkrose, 2004-12-03 09:23 am UTC
... - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-03 09:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]elgato_gamgins, 2004-12-02 05:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kaiser_chan, 2004-12-02 05:52 am UTC

[info]nightfish
2004-12-02 02:08 am UTC (link)
and apparently she has decided to rename F_W("a little group from some online journal"):

http://imdb.com/title/tt0346491/board/thread/13651736

Manson Gang, eh? Who wants to be Squeaky?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 02:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]prettypinkkitty, 2004-12-02 03:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 04:24 am UTC
... - [info]kijikun, 2004-12-02 05:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mister_terrific, 2004-12-02 08:25 am UTC
... - [info]prettypinkkitty, 2004-12-02 12:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lasha, 2004-12-02 11:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]atalantapendrag, 2004-12-02 03:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkrose, 2004-12-02 06:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jedilora, 2004-12-02 04:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bakunina, 2004-12-04 01:13 am UTC
... - [info]jedilora, 2004-12-04 10:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2004-12-02 03:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 05:34 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 05:54 am UTC
... - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 05:59 am UTC
... - [info]crickets, 2004-12-02 07:40 am UTC
... - [info]sarracenia, 2004-12-02 08:04 am UTC
... - [info]sorchar, 2004-12-02 10:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2004-12-02 06:33 am UTC
... - [info]kinneas, 2004-12-02 08:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2004-12-02 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkle_bitch, 2004-12-02 08:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2004-12-02 08:49 pm UTC
... - [info]sparkle_bitch, 2004-12-03 06:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2004-12-02 02:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thebratqueen, 2004-12-02 06:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightfish, 2004-12-02 06:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sticky_pbj, 2004-12-03 06:55 am UTC

[info]psychopracter
2004-12-02 02:10 am UTC (link)
Um ...

"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 03:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kaiser_chan, 2004-12-02 05:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]siobhania, 2004-12-02 10:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - meshou, 2004-12-03 12:23 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2004-12-02 02:11 am UTC (link)
Hmm, okay. Okay, I got it.

She's descended from one of Alexander's male lovers, who had a little drunken one-night-stand with a woman at a party. And then later the ancestor of that, who was, by the way, the third-cousin four times removed of Charlemagne, was kidnapped and taken to England and then there was another one night stand with William the Conqueror, and then even further down the line whatever numbered ancestor managed to get above the boat going to America where there was another one night stand with a Cherokee Indian who was related to another Super-Famous-Historical-Person (I'd insert Pocohontas here except then I'd be killing brain cells) and that's how it all works out.

Cause, you know, it's all about the groupies and the one night stands. Their children are always descended from Famous People.

-Anonyrodent

(Reply to this)

er, ah, squeak?
(Anonymous)
2004-12-02 02:20 am UTC (link)
I'm a newbie mouse, and I wanted to ask a little question.

I've heard a lot about the Queen of Wank titles, I've looked up Crystal, VB, and I already knew Anne was crazeh, but who is this MsAllegro?

Thank you! Lots of love and cheese
~Mouse

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: er, ah, squeak? - [info]firebad, 2004-12-02 02:28 am UTC
Re: er, ah, squeak? - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 05:34 am UTC
Re: er, ah, squeak? - [info]nonny_mouse, 2004-12-02 07:39 pm UTC
Re: er, ah, squeak? - [info]aruru, 2004-12-02 02:37 am UTC
Re: er, ah, squeak? - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 05:36 am UTC

[info]wankprophet
2004-12-02 02:26 am UTC (link)
I trace my ancestry back through...[info]eljuno. Huh.

But if you're going to trace pretentious genealogies, at least make it interesting. For example:

AD 33: Distant ancestor, Jesus of Nazareth, Prince of Peace, Son of God, Lord of All Creation excepting India and certain areas of the Middle East, dies during a particularly dangerous bit of performance art. Two thousand years later, putting him on my genealogy records kept me out of the more anti-Semitic country clubs. Royalty only goes so far, it seems.

AD 953: King Simon the Simpleton, ruler of Bohemia from 941 to his spectacular death from sexual asphyxiation in 953, invents "porn." A little over a thousand years later, the Internet would happen on this, er, stroke of genius and turn it into a multi-billion dollar enterprise, which just goes to show you that the classics are the best.

We've never seen a cent in royalties, incidentally, mainly because he forgot to patent the more lucrative orifices and gender combinations.

AD 1104: My family, driven out of Bohemia after Queen N'klizt the Foul is revealed to be one of the Old Ones bent on devouring the souls of humanity, settles in the Carpathians. Having left much of their fortune behind, they seek out new sources of revenue. They hit on the idea of "playing cards" and pose for all the picture cards. Their images can be seen in any standard deck to this day. Oddly enough, no-one knows what a "Jack" is, nor would would my family ever have been so declasse to have one in our ancestry. Interestingly, Prince Glurk'thelu the Retard posed for one of the Jacks. Forbidden by his mother from making funny faces while he posed, he instead stuck a sword through his head for laughs. His inevitable demise was greeted with relief, but the lack of available family members of suitable pedigree to replace him meant they went ahead and used his portrait for the card.

Incidentally, millions of decks of cards are sold each year. But we've never seen a cent in royalties.

AD 1325: My ancestor King Hava Nagilah, with his vestigal tail, shaggy mane and predisposition for eating raw fish, provided the inspiration for the lion Prince John in Disney's "Robin Hood"

AD 1781: My ancestor Prince Pierre XIX of France escapes the guillotine by sleeping with Robespierre, thus inventing non-canon slash.

We've yet to see a cent in royalties.

AD 1952: My grandfather, Countess Maeve the Slut of Dublin, founds the first real cross-dressing club in North Ireland. It was his involvement that led to the coinage "drag queen."

RuPaul has yet to send my family its well-earned percentage.

AD 1962: Gene Chandler releases a scurrilous single about my illustrious ancestor Duke of Earl which alleged, among other things, that "nothing can stop the duke of earl" (as if he was some nasty Ghengis Khan wannabe or something) and that anyone who walked with him became a "duchess" (such promiscuous natterings were never part the well-bred that formed my ancestry.)

We never saw a cent of the royalties, incidentally.


AD 1984: My glorious ancestor Prince releases "Purple Rain" to help rebuild the family fortune lost during the French Revolution.

We never saw a cent yadda yadda

AD 1996: Prince changes his name to some bizarre symbol that doesn't even look good on a coat-of-arms.

And so forth...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tekenduis, 2004-12-02 02:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]prettypinkkitty, 2004-12-02 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2004-12-02 03:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melusine, 2004-12-02 04:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lurker32, 2004-12-02 05:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2004-12-02 06:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ianthefira, 2004-12-02 06:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2004-12-02 07:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2004-12-02 02:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]andsoyoudied, 2004-12-03 12:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2004-12-03 12:53 pm UTC
... - [info]andsoyoudied, 2004-12-03 01:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nitsch, 2004-12-03 07:56 pm UTC

[info]serpentis
2004-12-02 02:36 am UTC (link)
Get out my family tree, it's making my ancestry look bad.

*looks around and whimpers* I'm not her! I'm not her!

Come on, even my history teacher was related to William the Conqueror, she's like so unoriginal.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]telophase, 2004-12-02 04:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]serpentis, 2004-12-02 04:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]telophase, 2004-12-02 04:56 pm UTC
... - [info]serpentis, 2004-12-02 05:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2004-12-02 05:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]telophase, 2004-12-02 05:15 pm UTC

[info]puipui
2004-12-02 02:57 am UTC (link)
SERIOUSLY go *beep* each other and get it over with.

She's right, you know. We all just need to have a big ol' orgy right now. By royal command, even!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]alina_kalime, 2004-12-02 03:09 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2004-12-02 05:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2004-12-02 07:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2004-12-02 06:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarracenia, 2004-12-02 08:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2004-12-02 07:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marumae, 2004-12-02 06:05 pm UTC

[info]sarajayechan
2004-12-02 03:03 am UTC (link)
Countess does a good impression of a microwave, doesn't she? *snerk*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]skarrow, 2004-12-02 07:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]byagghametta, 2004-12-05 05:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aruru, 2004-12-02 07:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2004-12-02 08:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarajayechan, 2004-12-02 08:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - wolfie_thu, 2004-12-02 09:32 pm UTC

[info]alina_kalime
2004-12-02 03:09 am UTC (link)
Wow. She's got a pretty fake spry lineage, given that Alexander the Great didn't have any known kids that survived to parent children of their own. OMIGOD HER LINIEGE IZSO KIDDIEPRON!

The History buff in me is pointing and laughing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

As I recall... - [info]ysadri, 2004-12-02 04:00 pm UTC
Re: As I recall... - [info]alina_kalime, 2004-12-03 03:28 am UTC
Re: As I recall... - [info]byagghametta, 2004-12-05 05:52 am UTC

[info]danceswithelvis
2004-12-02 03:09 am UTC (link)
Okay, what the fuck is with the whole "beeping" thing? I thought most outgrew that one when they hit the ripe old age of 8?

I mean really...that reads like a CBN broadcast of Eddie Murphy's Raw (live). *goes back to her p0rn and drink*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]seto_fangirl, 2004-12-02 03:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]danceswithelvis, 2004-12-02 03:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nonny_mouse, 2004-12-02 07:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]blackhat, 2004-12-03 12:11 am UTC
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