And We'll All Wank On OK
Most Modest Mouse wank centers around the horror of the band's increased popularity and how much it oppresses old fans. So this is a nice change of pace.

It starts with a Modest Mouse guitar tribute album, which Jawstone thinks is GAY.

"GAY.
I just saw a GUITAR tribute to Modest Mouse at Best Buy. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ALL ABOUT? I hate those stupid unauthorized tribute albums, and now there is a Modest Mouse one...wonderful."

People snark on Jawstone's derogatory use of "gay," but it doesn't seem to be a big deal. Except to Jawstone who, for someone very sensitive about people not getting his jokes, doesn't seem to get anyone else's jokes. He also likes to name drop his gay cousin.

Danfriend: "Damn gays releasing tribute albums. First this, then what? Marriage?!!?"

In comes the troll:

"modest mouse is GAY
modest mouse is so gay its so stupid i fucking hate them thier like were gay and we like to have sex with gay things i mean wtf i hate them why are they gay everyone who likes em are gay ur all gay why r u gay oh yeah its cuz u like modest mouse lol ur all so gay u bucng of dirty fuckers ur gay"

Not getting the reaction he was looking for, the troll leaves in a puff of smoke.

"wow you guys really take this serious im just making post to build off my new journal wheer im a fucking retard its more of a story u can read my post if u want and sorry for the upset and waste of time my idea of 40 new messages in my inbox is a tottally obssesd arangment of fans i just did it to piss u gusy off and yes good job for knowing it was sarcatstic i am very happy to see some people have logic around here i actually like modest mouse and if i really wanted to make a post degrading them id use a bit more flavored words so yes u all wasted ur time making those post and so am i so i leave....adios"

Jawstone can't let it go.

"ATTN: oversensitive, 'politically correct' dorks...
I'm pretty sure [the troll's post] was in reference to my post about the Modest Mouse Guitar tribute album. I read (and responded to) all of your snide & sarcastic comments. How about you guys learn to chill the fuck out, and not automatically label people as homophobic? My gay cousin uses the word 'FAG', so I'm sure the majority of you straight (unless Modest Mouse has some huge, unknown homosexual fanbase I don't know about...) people can handle the word GAY as a title to a post. Lighten up...faggots."

(Post a new comment)

	arielchan 2004-12-28 07:42 am UTC (link)
	The use of "gay" to connotate "stupid" is a pet peeve of mine, so I just wanted to say Grr on behalf of the English language and the half of me that is gay. Grr. ~Ariel~ (Reply to this)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2004-12-28 07:49 am UTC (link)
	Wordy McWord. Yours, The Anonymouse (Reply to this)(Parent)

	My Afterschool Special Moment atalantapendrag 2004-12-28 08:33 am UTC (link)
	I completely broke myself of using that expression when I was 15... used it while talking to a friend who was bi, realized what I'd actually said, apologized, and when he said "It's ok", I said, "No, it really isn't." and never used the word "gay" as a put-down again. And that was 17 years ago! I'm a little surprised it's still even in use. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: My Afterschool Special Moment -

casimir_perrier, 2004-12-30 10:29 pm UTC

	shun_mcdaddy 2004-12-28 04:43 pm UTC (link)
	Whatever.XD But,I only use it in the small circle I'm in and not outside that. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

wakuchan, 2004-12-29 06:52 am UTC

(no subject) -

shun_mcdaddy, 2004-12-29 07:06 am UTC

(no subject) -

wakuchan, 2004-12-29 07:08 am UTC

(no subject) -

shun_mcdaddy, 2004-12-29 07:21 am UTC

(no subject) -

wakuchan, 2004-12-29 07:24 am UTC

	ororo 2004-12-28 09:37 pm UTC (link)
	I second the Grr on behalf of the English language. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

arielchan, 2004-12-28 11:40 pm UTC

(no subject) -

kate74, 2004-12-29 01:05 pm UTC

(no subject) -

arielchan, 2004-12-29 11:16 pm UTC

	redjackcash 2004-12-28 11:51 pm UTC (link)
	Which is all so counter-intuitive, isn't it? I mean, gay means happy and happy means gay. So if something were to engender the word gay, wouldn't that mean it was awesome? That it made you deliriously happy? I do not understand. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	annabelle_lee 2004-12-29 06:15 am UTC (link)
	[sighs] Same here. I used to get annoyed even when my gay friends said it. Hi, not funny, stop making us look bad; you're not reclaiming jackshit by using the word wrong. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	blue_linnet 2004-12-28 08:00 am UTC (link)
	I'd be more offended by 'gay' as a derogatory term if it didn't conjure up images of 12 year olds, or those with the maturity of such. It lowers my opinion of the user, which might be unfair of me, but it just sounds ridiculous to me. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mistressrenet 2004-12-28 03:04 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, me too! I always feel like the next insult's going to be about someone having cooties. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ororo 2004-12-28 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	I feel that way about 133t, but I'm bitchy that way. (lots of other ways too, actually) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	adora_spintriae 2004-12-28 08:09 am UTC (link)
	I'm just here to spread the icon love. luvs Grissom the WSI (Reply to this)(Thread)

	jess_d_ripper 2004-12-28 01:48 pm UTC (link)
	Wank Scene Investigator Grissom loves you too. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

deejay435, 2004-12-29 02:49 am UTC

	mucktron 2004-12-28 08:50 am UTC (link)
	Your subject line alone killed me. I demand a song parody. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gal_montag 2004-12-28 09:00 am UTC (link)
	Your icon is killing me. Where did you get that pic of Matthew Fox with that dumbass look on his face? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

mucktron, 2004-12-28 10:38 am UTC

(no subject) -

gal_montag, 2004-12-28 12:14 pm UTC

Your wish is my command

jess_d_ripper
2004-12-28 12:28 pm UTC (link)

Wank On
I got a laptop from my fangirls the other day,
Well my lawyer told them off it was all OK.
I've spooged so much that my tinhat's rusted in place,
Every person, place or thing is always GAY.

And we'll all wank on OK. (3X)
And we'll all wank on anyway -well-

A hobbit's cousin took every last dime with that scam,
It was worth it for the book deal that I'll land.
My strained principles are Dickensian,
Mary Sue's the one who really understands,
I'm related to Alexander the Great,
Never fear, Super Nanny's on the way.

And we'll all wank on OK. (3X)
And we'll all wank on. Alright already, we'll all wank on.
No, don't you worry, we'll all wank on.
Alright I'm ready, we'll all wank on. Alright, don't worry, we'll all wank on.

Alright, alright, and we'll all wank on. Alright already, we'll all wank on.
Alright, don't worry even if you forget to bring your hanky, we'll all wank on.
Alright already, we'll all wank on. Alright already, we'll all wank on OK.
Don't worry, we'll all wank on. The circle jerk is ready we'll all wank on.
Alright already, we'll all wank on all night. Don't you worry, we'll all wank on alright. All wank on.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Your wish is my command -

tehlils, 2004-12-28 12:54 pm UTC

Re: Your wish is my command -

jess_d_ripper, 2004-12-28 02:56 pm UTC

Re: Your wish is my command -

sahz, 2004-12-28 03:17 pm UTC

Re: Your wish is my command -

darkwitch666, 2004-12-28 07:08 pm UTC

Re: Your wish is my command -

teapotgirl, 2004-12-28 03:54 pm UTC

Re: Your wish is my command -

mucktron, 2004-12-28 05:40 pm UTC

Re: Your wish is my command -

annabelle_lee, 2004-12-29 06:30 am UTC

	deadlettero 2004-12-29 10:40 am UTC (link)
	icon love on so many levels (Reply to this)(Parent)

	gal_montag 2004-12-28 08:59 am UTC (link)
	A. It takes one to know one and B. Ye gods, the teeth shattering pretention. You wish it was still cool to like Modest Mouse? When apparently you stil do. Loser. (Reply to this)

(Deleted post)

jess_d_ripper
2004-12-28 12:42 pm UTC (link)
Ahh, song parody jinx. XD

Want to put out a GAY Modest Mouse parody/tribute album with me?
(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - jess_d_ripper, 2004-12-28 12:59 pm UTC

(no subject) - jezebeth, 2004-12-28 04:40 pm UTC

(no subject) - jezebeth, 2004-12-28 04:39 pm UTC

shun_mcdaddy
2004-12-28 04:39 pm UTC (link)
I'm not apart of that music fandom,but the old fan sneering at the so-called 'the band had sold-out' isn't too new.(Try going around the pro-Gabriel set and saying Phil Collins was the best lead singer of Genesis.)
(Reply to this)(Thread)

(Anonymous)
2004-12-29 10:05 pm UTC (link)
Try going around the pro-Gabriel set and saying Phil Collins was the best lead singer of Genesis.

Totally a tangent, but -- I actually think he was. Gabriel did better on his own.

....I'll shut up now.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

jess_d_ripper
2004-12-30 02:20 am UTC (link)
That's a good point. There seems to be a few universal band wanks:

1) OMG new fans are the worst! I've been a fan since the band was ejected from the womb.
2) Sellouts!
a)They've signed to a major label.
b)They did a commercial.
3) That concert wasn't good! They didn't play my favourite song.
4) The band was better when:
a) they had (previous member)
b) they did (previous album)
(Reply to this)(Parent)

frau_eva
2004-12-28 04:49 pm UTC (link)
I hate it when people say something like this and pass it off as a "joke." Yeah, well, bitch, you ain't funny. Get over it. Randomly saying something is gay is not a joke; it has no set-up, punch-line, etc. And it's about as funny as someone randomly saying "Nigger" for no apparent reason. If you're THAT easily amused, I'm surprised you can actually make a post on LJ without getting distracted for hours at a shiny, blinky icon.
(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - puipui, 2004-12-28 10:37 pm UTC

(no subject) - littlest_lurker, 2004-12-29 01:03 am UTC

(no subject) - bubosquared, 2004-12-29 01:36 am UTC

(no subject) - puipui, 2004-12-29 04:02 am UTC

(no subject) - ruaki, 2004-12-29 06:59 am UTC

(no subject) - frau_eva, 2004-12-29 04:38 pm UTC

hooverdam
2004-12-29 04:27 am UTC (link)
I remember similar wank a while back on a mailing list to which I subscribe, in which someone described a band--can't remember which, but it wasn't related to the subject of the ML--as "gay looking." That went over like a pregnant pole vaulter on a broken stick, given that the subject of the ML in question is discussion of the works of Bob Mould.

The only thing I specifically remember was being a bit too timid to post my thought on the subject, which was, and remains, that "Your Band Looks Gay" would make a wicked awesome title for an Anal Cunt song.
(Reply to this)

angel_josie
2004-12-29 10:17 pm UTC (link)
:x Personally, it doesn't surprise me too much that the band's fans can get so wanky over something so stupid ... after all, the band members themselves can be just as bad. :x I should know, I happen to be the younger sister of their international product manager, and I'm privy to all the stupid shit they do. Like when they decide to do a run-around to get out of their phoners, pulling childish antics ... or, my personal favorite, when they had their manager call the former Sony Music International (which has since been split back into smaller companies) to bitch about the fact that they weren't getting anything to sell ... and then go on to bitch about the fact that SMI was setting up publicity opportunities for them so that they COULD get things to sell. Er?

Band behavior dictates fan behavior? I think so.
(Reply to this)