From the remote outposts of fandom . . .
I bring you C.O.P.S. wank. Not the real life Fox show that features half-naked drug-addled losers being slammed to the pavement by the week's featured over-testosteroned cops, but the eighties cartoon with "Cops . . . fighting crime . . . in a future time!" I know I used to watch it, but sadly all details beyond the name of the main dude (Bulletproof Vest (and what did they call him for short? Bullet? Proof? Letpro? Big Daddy V? Hmmm)) have gone the way of most of the math I learned in high school and college.

Ahem, anyway.

In a fit of nostalgia and a nudge from moodslime towards the Fraggle Rock theme (don't ask), I stumbled upon a veritable spreadsheet of wank. It starts with the profound comment "Gayest thing fox ever aired" and picks up steam from there, heading full-bore into "To the person who said this cartoon was 'gay,' You are gay!", accusations of pedophilia, and at the center of it all, a troll named Jiff Spiffer, who provides the amusement as people keep poking him.