(Post a new comment)

	(Anonymous) 2005-01-23 11:44 pm UTC (link)
	I personally adore the wank about Dementor biology. I now have this image of ickle Dementor babies... And this? "Just as you all hate 'badfic,' we hate people who deliberately sabotage ratings and drag down the quality of our readership." Priceless. Translation = HOW DARE YOU CRITICIZE ME!!111!!WTFBBQ!! Avari, from GAFF (Reply to this)(Thread)

	andsoyoudied 2005-01-24 01:22 am UTC (link)
	I remember back in the day me and my friends wanted to start a campaign to Defend Dementors's Rights. Isn't it kind of abusive that they're forced to kiss people right and left without even getting to know them? I say an intimate dinner for two, nice restaurant, soothing background music is what every decent Minister would provide... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	khym_chanur 2005-01-24 03:56 am UTC (link)
	I imagine Bellatrix selecting for small size, and ending up with ~~little yapping lap dementors~~ a hand-sized dementor that you can whip out of your pocket and press up against their lips to STEEL THEIR SOUL!!11!!11 (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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pokecheck, 2005-01-24 12:50 pm UTC

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ravenclaw_devi, 2005-01-24 06:11 pm UTC

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romana03, 2005-01-25 01:35 am UTC

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wisdomeagle, 2005-01-25 01:08 pm UTC

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teratologist, 2005-01-25 05:18 am UTC

	jamac 2005-01-23 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	Oh my! How many sockpuppets does "Max" need? (Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2005-01-24 12:16 am UTC (link)
	Pssst. FPB wank. Accusations of pedophilia and internet lawyers. http://www.livejournal.com/users/fpb/61087.html http://www.livejournal.com/community/i_hate_fpb_club/ NM (Reply to this)(Thread)

	narcissam 2005-01-24 12:17 am UTC (link)
	PS - I don't think I'm really involved, but I'm not going to post it myself, given my past involvement. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	singe 2005-01-24 12:37 am UTC (link)
	I posted it because, evidently, the anons have control of my will lately. (Reply to this)(Parent)

kroki_refur
2005-01-24 12:22 am UTC (link)

If you’re a published author, which I doubt VERY highly, my opinion of the book-buying public just plummeted.

But based on your comment about “a new book deal each MONTH” and “several DOZEN titles”, and the pulpy, cliché-strewn writing style exhibited here, I’ll assume that you’re one of those paperback-romance writers who churns out another 100-page formula tale every month.

And you'd be right.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2005-01-24 12:34 am UTC (link)
	That explains a lot, actually..... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2005-01-24 12:48 am UTC (link)
	You can judge about the quality of German books by just looking at the cover? Enviable talent! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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panthea, 2005-01-24 01:21 am UTC

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(no subject) - kroki_refur, 2005-01-24 01:26 am UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-01-24 01:34 am UTC

	nothing to do with the wank, but circumstance 2005-01-24 04:05 am UTC (link)
	Ich freue mich, dass Sie/Du hergefunden haben/hast. Und ich hoffe, dass Du/Sie hier findest/finden, was Du/Sie gesucht haben. Wow, and I thought English was annoying with having to write out he/she all the time. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: nothing to do with the wank, but -

ashenmote, 2005-01-24 04:58 am UTC

visp
2005-01-24 12:22 am UTC (link)

Before throwing your carefully crafted insults around the web, it is a very wise idea to do your research. Had your 'review' been put up in a newspaper you would have been sued for making such basic errors.
and
Were it an original fiction site, rather than a fanfiction site, you would be subject to possible libel suits, Internet or no.

Internet Lawyers! Yay!

And of course this lovely line:

do y'all think you're the first person to throw yourselves against the electric bug zapper-cum-concrete wall of GAFF? Or are you just feeling particularly stubborn today?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

erototoxin
2005-01-24 12:32 am UTC (link)

I wonder what kind of education and training is required to be an Internet Lawyer? It sounds like it could be a great career in my spare time - quite prestigious, yet with absolutely no work required (since nobody's every heard of an Internet Lawyer ever actually DOING anything but being used as a threat).

I wonder if they have one of those correspondence courses...

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kay_taylor, 2005-01-25 12:50 am UTC

	(Anonymous) 2005-01-24 01:30 am UTC (link)
	bows That was me. I'd like to thank Joel Hodgeson and the Satellite Gang, God, my mom, and Terry Pratchett. I couldn't have done it without you. pushes her fedora down over her eyes and skulks off like the underaged anonymouse she is ~ Ayezur from GAFF (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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mrbimble, 2005-01-24 03:15 am UTC

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visp, 2005-01-24 09:18 am UTC

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miss_kitten, 2005-01-24 12:43 pm UTC

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visp, 2005-01-25 12:14 am UTC

	(Anonymous) 2005-01-24 12:25 am UTC (link)
	Gotta say, I'm with the poster who commented, "Follow along, people. This is what pretentiousness looks like." On the other hand.... Hermione/DUMBLEDORE??? WTF??? (Reply to this)(Thread)

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andsoyoudied, 2005-01-24 12:43 am UTC

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alpheratz, 2005-01-24 12:46 am UTC

(no subject) - tourette, 2005-01-24 04:00 am UTC

Pretentious, Moi? -

azazello, 2005-01-24 10:21 am UTC

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iczer6, 2005-01-25 03:59 am UTC

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wisdomeagle, 2005-01-25 01:14 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-01-24 12:45 am UTC (link)

1. Writer writes offbeat fanon pairing. Archives. Does not spend every waking hour insisting that everyone and sundry reads her fic.

2. Casual reader discovers said fic, and ignores warnings which explain precisely which pairing is featured in the fic, reads on anyway, is infuriated because they hate the pairing. Well, duh.

3. Hies off to mockery forum. Mocks. No problem so far, standard stuff.

4. Isn't satisfied, needs to really grab author by lapels and shout "I hate your fucking OTP!" loudly in author's face.

5. Flames, gives fics a low rating.

6. Friend of author's hears about it, tells author.

7. Friend defends author, er what's wrong with that? If someone can mock a fic, then surely someone else can defend it?

8. Author defends fic, too. Last time I looked, if someone can level criticism, then equally the author has the right to defend their work.

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pyratejenni, 2005-01-24 01:00 am UTC

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dementoid, 2005-01-25 06:47 am UTC

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	(Anonymous) 2005-01-24 12:46 am UTC (link)
	Eh. BlueMondays is being just as wanky as the author. (Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-01-24 12:49 am UTC

'Tis Morgul here...from GAFF - (Anonymous), 2005-01-24 12:58 am UTC

Morgy again... - (Anonymous), 2005-01-24 01:01 am UTC

Re: Morgy again... -

andsoyoudied, 2005-01-24 01:18 am UTC

Hello - from the sock puppet. - (Anonymous), 2005-01-24 01:40 pm UTC

Re: Hello - from the sock puppet. -

pyratejenni, 2005-01-24 04:14 pm UTC

Re: Hello - from the sock puppet. - (Anonymous), 2005-01-24 11:10 pm UTC

Re: Hello - from the sock puppet. - (Anonymous), 2005-01-25 12:51 am UTC

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andsoyoudied, 2005-01-24 01:25 am UTC

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pyratejenni, 2005-01-24 01:55 am UTC

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pyratejenni, 2005-01-24 02:23 am UTC

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andsoyoudied, 2005-01-24 11:20 pm UTC

frau_eva
2005-01-24 01:37 am UTC (link)

Without checking easily verifiable facts. Without being held to even the basic levels of journalistic ethics.

Wow. Wasn't aware that mocking a fic on the interweb required journalistic ethics. These people should see some of the scathing book reviews I've seen in newspapers.

And easily verifiable facts? WTF? It's a bad fanfic. There's nothing to check. What, are they going for, "OMG SHE'S GERMAN STOP BEING SOOO MEEN!11!!!" I don't care what your language is, honestly. Badfic is badfic. I'm learning Japanese, and you don't see me dishonoring the language with my poorly written, second-language idiocy. I'll have more lenience for second-language writers, but it doesn't give you the write to shit all over the language and then whine when someone points it out.

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frau_eva, 2005-01-24 01:39 am UTC

Your Icon -

platedlizard, 2005-01-24 08:56 am UTC

Re: Your Icon -

frau_eva, 2005-01-24 09:18 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-01-24 01:47 am UTC (link)

The Various Offended People (I like that phrase) have something of a point--it's somewhat petty to go over to the site and proceed to *spam* with negative reviews. It is, however, also cowardly and lame to insist that any negative review is unfair; there's a line to be drawn between "This fic has some strong problems (evidence following) and "OMG YOU SUCK AND SO DOES YOUR FIC!!1!!1". IF the review was negative but coherent and criticized the fic and not the authors, the admins are tools for having taken it down.

That said, it's still a pretty bad fic, with the holes in logic (an easily raiseable army of Dementors, when if you do check things like interviews you know they arise somewhat like mold--ain't that a great mental image), the poorly-worked development from student to teacher, and the cringe-inducing writing in the sex scenes. The "I am a published author and people like my stuff, and English isn't my first language" arguments don't go any length towards ameliorating that.

(Reply to this)

sitt_isis
2005-01-24 01:49 am UTC (link)

This is about like having sweaty sexual fantasies about Santa Claus.

Don't show her Bad (or Badder) Santa.

In a few WEEKS she had an army of them? Gee, the duration of Dementor gestation seems AWFULLY short to me. What, do they reproduce by parthenogenesis or something? Divide like amoebas? Lay eggs and sit on them for a couple of days and then hatch fully grown?

Or they can bud. Like hydras.

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(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-01-24 01:58 am UTC

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jaseroque, 2005-01-24 01:19 pm UTC

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jaseroque, 2005-01-24 05:37 pm UTC

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	deejay435 2005-01-24 03:44 am UTC (link)
	- be that post a review with which I have many disagreements, or a post instructing me that I should 'relax', 'let it go', or other sentiments aimed at getting me to shut up. Don't tell me to shut up! I can say whatever I want on this forum! It's public already! Then... The other off topic posts are not required. Everyone else just shut up. Oh my. (Reply to this)

	tapedeck 2005-01-24 07:42 am UTC (link)
	BlueMondays was far, far wankier than needed. The story wasn't all that bad, but the whole review seemed an exercise in grudge-wanking over the featured pairing. Everything else was just decoration (and reusing classic literature titles certainly isn't new, why suddenly take offence now?). (Reply to this)

In the Real-Time World...
(Anonymous)
2005-01-24 10:26 am UTC (link)

What actually happened was this:

1) I went to Lumos to read new story by favorite fanfic author. Noticed on Lumos homepage that someone had written a story ripping off Shakespeare’s “Measure for Measure.” Huh? thought I, does this person not already know that title is rather memorably taken? 'Sup with that?

2) Clicked on link. Read story. Failed to see ANY connection to Shakespeare’s “Measure for Measure.” Thought fic jumped around temporally enough to make “Slaughterhouse-Five” look linear. Hated pairing. Thought dialogue to be rife with howlers. Thought sex scenes made “Animal House” look like Anais Nin.

3) Registered at site, both to write review of praise for fave author and tactful-enough critical review for “Max.” Wrote short review taking her to task for a) ripping off Shakespeare's title, b) writing non-canon-supported pairing. Gave rating I thought piece deserved - perhaps a 5. Given that story had a grand total of 1 other rating at the time, the law of averages dictates that story’s rating dropped, seeing as how 15 divided by 2 does not equal 5. However, do the math - ANYONE who gives a story less than a 10 rating will make the rating drop.

4) Opened MS Word file to compose long review for fave author. When I returned to post it on Lumos, account had been deleted, and review for “Max” was gone. WTF? thought I. Then realized - Max has whined to the mods and gotten the review removed.

5) Decided it was now time for a sporking at GAFF. Sent commendation to fave author via personal email.

6) Wrote post sporking story on GAFF. Tee hee! Feelings of annoyance much appeased.

7) Noticed a few days later while browsing at GAFF that sock puppets had appeared. Couldn’t complain, though - the resulting posturing and fangirl ego-fellatio perpetrated by sock puppets was quite amusing. Said posturing also not surprisingly resulted in various other GAFFers engaging in sockpuppet smackdown, thereby sparing me the trouble. Replied a few times on points I thought worth elaborating upon. Probably was rather wanky, but never claimed to be above the temptations of schadenfreude.

8) Returned to browsing fanfic boards. Found another heinous badfic featuring tooth-aching Mary Sue this afternoon. Working on new sporkage post.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Regards,
BlueMondays

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: In the Real-Time World... - (Anonymous), 2005-01-24 11:25 am UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... -

phosfate, 2005-01-24 11:36 pm UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... -

deejay435, 2005-01-25 04:56 am UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... - (Anonymous), 2005-01-25 05:26 am UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... -

deejay435, 2005-01-25 06:12 am UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... -

phosfate, 2005-01-25 04:22 pm UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... -

phosfate, 2005-01-25 04:18 pm UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... - (Anonymous), 2005-01-24 01:00 pm UTC

Non-canon-supported pairing? - (Anonymous), 2005-01-24 02:40 pm UTC

Re: Non-canon-supported pairing? -

pyratejenni, 2005-01-24 04:19 pm UTC

Re: Non-canon-supported pairing? - (Anonymous), 2005-01-24 04:34 pm UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... -

kraken_sleeps, 2005-01-24 05:30 pm UTC

Icon! -

deejay435, 2005-01-25 04:59 am UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... -

phosfate, 2005-01-24 11:35 pm UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... -

auralan, 2005-01-25 12:50 am UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... -

teratologist, 2005-01-25 05:22 am UTC

Re: In the Real-Time World... -

pfeffermuse, 2005-01-25 09:46 am UTC

	kay_taylor 2005-01-25 12:49 am UTC (link)
	I wanna be an internet lawyer! It's sooooo easy because the American Constitution extends to the whole of cyberspace, dontchaknow! OMGYOUAREVIOLATINGMYWHATEVERTHAMENDMENTRIGHTS. (Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2005-01-25 02:03 am UTC (link)
	Well, if you're talking about bringing a legal action against an American, American law is relevant. Seeing as how "cyberspace" is any imaginary place with no established legal system, you might run into a few issues with jurisdiction if you try to sue 'em there... ducks and runs (Reply to this)(Thread)

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miss_kitten, 2005-01-25 03:44 am UTC