Current mood:

Candy-Coated

"Are all Clay fans delusional idiots or just the ones posting here? Talk about scary!"
It's been a while since we've had a good Clay Aiken Wank. Of course I don't mean that literally... or do I?

Mr. Aiken's (the loser--sorry, runner-up---of American Idol's second season) sexuality has always been a hot topic. In fact, this debate even caused one diehard fan to go into premature labor.

There are several types of Clay Aiken fans. Someone set up a "24-hour prayer chain for mega pop-star, and our brother in Christ, Clay Aiken." (Don't worry about time-zones. Just pray when your time comes around.) On the other end of the speculum... er, spectrum is the group that firmly believes that Clay and AI host Ryan Seacrest arsodoingitOMGBBQELEVENTY!

The most fervent, perhaps, are the Claymates, straight and female fans who have created an Aiken-based voClaybulary to describe how this skinny boy from the Carolinas makes them feel. Some of the jaw droppers:

Aiken2btaken -- the desire to be swept away by Clay
Claygasm -- Usually used to describe strong feelings of pleasure or emotional excitement when hearing Clay, seeing Clay, thinking of Clay. Like an orgasm, but with Clay
Cloma -- the unconsciousness that hits after thudding hard when reading Clay stories, fantasies, drama, etc.
KK & Mac -- in reference to Krispy Kreme and Mac & Cheese, the common names for Clay's left and right posterior cheeks, respectively

So imagine their dismay when the blog Page SixSixSix contacted the gay escort rumored to have had sex with Clay. Mario Cruz "acknowledge[d] that he's heard the talk, but he refused to confirm or deny anything."

An anonymous Clay defender posts a rant.

You just basically outed yourself as a FRAUD who LIED because your "oh-so-reliable" witness, that people demanded to hear from, is suddenyl not so eager to speak out. What a crock. The only ones who took it up the ass were your readers, not Aiken, who stupid enough to believe your bullshit in the first place. Nice try. Next time, make sure your sources aren't grouchy, jealous bitchy queens, (or fans of KC, same thing), hell bent on destroying someone's career. Nice try, loser.

The blogger (Perez Hilton) threatens, "If you Gayken pussies continue to post ANONYMOUSLY, I will delete them." A much-much-saner-but-still-anonymous fan responds.

I hope you know that not all Clay fans are complete jerks like the ones who have been posting here. Some of us think he's gay and gasp don't have a problem with it. In fact we think it's cool. Saying that, I'm having trouble believing Clay would do anything this dumb, because one thing he's not is stupid. Not that I think you're lying, but I suspect someone, somewhere is. Just my opinion. (I just hope it's not Clay who's lying ;) )
PS. I'm posting anonymously because I'm known on the Clay boards and I get enough threats just for thinking he's gay, I don't need any more.

It just gets bitchier.

I think the Claymations or whatever they're called are pissed off because they realized that Clay gets more sex than they do. (Let's face it, the only thing worse than fucking Clay would be fucking someone who listens to him willingly. Unless they're masochists in which case it could possibly be hot, but only maybe).

Another outraged fan tries to insult Perez, but doesn't quite make it.

Proving that not only is he a FRAUD, but a HYPOCRITE as well, since we all know Perez Hilton is a synonym for the author's actual name, which means he posts ANONYMOUSLY each and every day.
This also proves that Perez can dish it out, but can't take it, and more importantly, that the Claymates are getting under Perez'thin skin.

Another anon points out:

...it seems to me that these Clay fans are approximately 13 years of age due to their spelling and grammatical errors. Even if they are not - why are they pitching such a fit about 'clay is gay' comments? Who cares?? What I wonder is why they like him when he is clearly a pissy little diva. Have they not seen on television interviews of him bitching about how he'd like to turn around and not have a camera in his face. How about the fits he's thrown during sound checks? I mean he rode the American Idol humiliation train and now it's just all too much. I don't get it. Go play some Solitaire Clay baby.
(Posting anonymously because the Claymates scare the heck outta me.)

And then someone makes a very good point.

I am no Clay fan. Hate that shit show American Idol as well. But why not leave Clay alone and let him deal with his sexuality in his own way. Why are you trying to out him? Let him come out when he is ready.

There's more about Clay being "the leader of the largest group of homophobe fans today" and "the bitchy, bigoted, gay bashing, hate comments, bashing Clay and his fans" but this entry is already long enough. Too long, maybe.

(Thanks to misswindy for some of the links and history of Claymania.)