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Nerd For Hire ([info]nerd_4_hire) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-02-18 00:12:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:assburgers made me do it, fandom: harry potter, sorting communities

Hogwarts Elite sorting community wanks again!
It starts out pretty standard. Somebody goes to the Harry Potter rating community Sorting Elite and fills out an application. A bunch of other people accuse the person of Squibbery, OMGWTF Slytherin Push, etc. Typical wank for that comm.

Then the OP comes around and edits her application -- and the splooge flies.

Included in the addendum is:
* Various quotes from the HP Sorting Hat
* A C&Ped dictionary definition of the word "cunning"
* A violation of Blackjack's Law -- Don't blame me, I have Aspburger's [sic]
* A thinly-veiled swipe at one of the community's members
* And a rather volatile rant against the community in general --

...if that makes me the embodiment of "What it means to be a Slytherin push", whatever the pretentious fuck that means, so be it. Apparently when they were hardwiring my brain they decided "Oh, this'll be fun, let's make her completely miserable and poorly balanced, so eighteen years from now, after she's figured out all the ways she's fucked up and has come to terms with them, some community of pretentious wanks will percieve her attempts at honesty and candor as a transparent effort to get into the house that she really doesn't bloody care about, because she just enjoys filling out the surveys as a way of gaining insight into herself."

Five pages of snarking, indignation, and vendetta Squib votes follow.

Good times, good times.

ETA: Uh-oh! Spoof Community Alert, thanks to this sub-thread. It's about bloody time, too.

And also...one of the original wankers in this incident attests to the existence of missing wank that has since been screened. If anyone saw and saved this wank when it was still public, please do share.




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[info]singe
2005-02-18 08:29 am UTC (link)
Aspburger---what you make out of Slytherins you don't like.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 08:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vampychick, 2005-02-18 10:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 04:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentree, 2005-02-18 09:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]myalchod, 2005-02-18 09:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 10:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]xburnbabyburnx, 2005-02-18 10:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beccastareyes, 2005-02-18 04:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]xburnbabyburnx, 2005-02-19 07:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]redjackcash, 2005-02-18 10:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]backfromspace, 2005-02-18 11:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]redjackcash, 2005-02-19 12:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]goblin, 2005-02-19 02:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]xburnbabyburnx, 2005-02-19 07:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kaiser_chan, 2005-02-20 06:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marlo, 2005-02-19 01:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2005-02-19 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cyn, 2005-02-19 11:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2005-02-20 07:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-23 01:04 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-02-18 08:31 am UTC (link)
Jesus, I can not comprehend the appeal of sorting comms.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 08:33 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 08:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 08:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ari_, 2005-02-18 05:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 10:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]furiosity, 2005-02-18 11:57 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 05:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-19 01:15 am UTC
(no subject) - ataniell93, 2005-02-20 09:09 am UTC

[info]lindentree
2005-02-18 09:00 am UTC (link)
Aspburger's [sic]

Sounds like assburgers.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 09:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentree, 2005-02-18 08:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]photosinensis, 2005-02-18 11:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaimonkey, 2005-02-18 11:41 pm UTC
Four Hours of Lickin' That Ass! - [info]lindentree, 2005-02-19 05:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sneer, 2005-02-19 06:11 am UTC

[info]the_clansmen
2005-02-18 09:14 am UTC (link)
...You know, it just occurs to me that Slytherins are snooty bastards and anyone coming in going "OMG I have OCD and Aspergers" would probably get that person laughed out of the house.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sparkle_bitch, 2005-02-18 08:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 10:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 11:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkle_bitch, 2005-02-20 02:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sylvatica, 2005-02-19 09:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - cicer, 2005-02-20 04:43 am UTC

[info]loopywafflehead
2005-02-18 09:24 am UTC (link)
Plus, you insulted Jo Rowling. We all may have things we don't like about her writing style, but you mocked her. Some fan.

She did? Looked like she was just making commenting on her writing. And as if JKR would care, anyway.

I love the way people feel the need to tell Crimsonhue that she's a squib and has broken the rules over and over and over and over and over again. Although the person that voted her a squid was funny, because my first thought was "They want her to be Squidward? He rocks!" and it turned out to be a typo. Most disappointing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

sigh. - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 09:54 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 10:31 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 10:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 10:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snacky, 2005-02-18 05:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]waltzingalong, 2005-02-18 07:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 07:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 07:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 11:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-19 11:43 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-19 10:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2005-02-18 12:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deejay435, 2005-02-18 10:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]backfromspace, 2005-02-18 11:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dark_puck, 2005-02-19 05:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]backfromspace, 2005-02-19 08:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bohicamouse, 2005-02-19 09:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-19 11:46 am UTC

[info]crysiana
2005-02-18 09:42 am UTC (link)
I have never understood why some people want to put themselves forward to be judged by random people over the internet as to their "worth" of being Sorted into a house. If I actually cared that much, I'd go to people who know me and say, "What do you think?" After they looked at me as if I were insane, particularly for asking a question with no reference as to what subject they're supposed to be thinking on, I'm sure we'd work things out.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 09:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2005-02-18 09:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 09:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_linnet, 2005-02-18 12:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2005-02-18 01:35 pm UTC
"PAN DOWN" - [info]khym_chanur, 2005-02-18 03:15 pm UTC
Re: "PAN DOWN" - [info]sepiamagpie, 2005-02-18 03:27 pm UTC
Re: "PAN DOWN" - [info]xero_sky, 2005-02-18 09:06 pm UTC
Off Topic - [info]marumae, 2005-02-20 07:07 pm UTC
Re: Off Topic - [info]sepiamagpie, 2005-02-20 07:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 04:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]myalchod, 2005-02-18 09:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 10:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crysiana, 2005-02-18 06:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2005-02-18 08:34 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-02-18 10:32 am UTC (link)
Hogwart's Elite has the BEST wank. I just love the fact that the essays on Houses at the back has a Ravenclaw one written by someone who can't differentiate between a noun and a verb. And as for her comma use... oy vey.

WE ARE TEH ELEETE! TAKE US SEIOSLY!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 10:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]myalchod, 2005-02-18 11:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 11:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2005-02-18 01:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2005-02-18 02:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaseroque, 2005-02-18 04:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 04:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2005-02-18 12:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 12:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kicklecubicle, 2005-02-18 03:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 04:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2005-02-18 07:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 04:48 pm UTC

[info]squib
2005-02-18 11:05 am UTC (link)
Squibbery! Oh noez!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]soleta, 2005-02-18 08:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 08:27 pm UTC

[info]gal_montag
2005-02-18 11:11 am UTC (link)
I'm almost bored enough to apply, but like, I'm not sure I'm pretentious enough to be accepted.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lindentree, 2005-02-18 08:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-02-18 10:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-19 05:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-02-19 10:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentree, 2005-02-19 06:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-02-19 10:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 10:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gal_montag, 2005-02-18 11:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 11:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-19 01:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]serpentis, 2005-02-19 01:27 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-02-18 11:15 am UTC (link)
*squeak*

Yeah, I wanked. I'm bad. I believe I fell into the snarking category, as outlined above.

(Reply to this)

Ooo I wanked there too.
[info]furiosity
2005-02-18 11:46 am UTC (link)
I was the one who called her the embodiment of a Slytherin push -- I'm so pretentious omg. *snerk* We had a fun splooge-y exchange that has since been screened. We've also since had another conversation in her LJ that was wholly civil.

HP fandom, we wank like no other and we kiss and make up like no other.

Good times. :-P

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 11:51 am UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]prettyveela, 2005-02-18 12:16 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]furiosity, 2005-02-18 12:23 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]bubosquared, 2005-02-18 01:50 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]furiosity, 2005-02-18 02:00 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]bubosquared, 2005-02-18 02:08 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]furiosity, 2005-02-18 02:16 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]bubosquared, 2005-02-18 02:19 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]ashenmote, 2005-02-18 06:45 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]carlanime, 2005-02-18 07:50 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]ashenmote, 2005-02-18 08:10 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]pokecheck, 2005-02-19 12:29 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]ashenmote, 2005-02-19 04:06 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 05:30 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - [info]furiosity, 2005-02-18 05:33 pm UTC
Re: Ooo I wanked there too. - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 09:26 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-02-18 12:57 pm UTC (link)
Y'know, on the way home from campus today I overheard some girl behind me discussing VERY SERIOUSLY about, "OMG, he does not belong in Ravenclaw! He belongs in Hufflepuff!"

O_o; reality check, anyone? I especially liked the fellow who was personally insulted because he thought that the poster was 'trying too hard' to fit herself into 'his' house, Slytherin.

-rit

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-02-18 01:46 pm UTC (link)
WOW. That was... amazing. And... really repetitive. (You get points for what amounts to "me too" posts? Bzuh?

It was kinda odd seeing "you're pushing," "you're pretentious" thrown at her over and over, because she reminds me of a close friend of mine, and I kept thinking, "No, it's not an act. It's a personality type."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 01:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 02:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 02:58 pm UTC
Forgive me this, I've not had enough sleep - [info]cathowl, 2005-02-18 03:21 pm UTC
Re: Forgive me this, I've not had enough sleep - [info]phosfate, 2005-02-18 04:47 pm UTC
Share the wank! - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 07:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beandelphiki, 2005-02-18 11:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-19 09:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kaiser_chan, 2005-02-20 06:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kaiser_chan, 2005-02-20 06:50 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-02-18 05:41 pm UTC (link)
Haha, omg, icon love!

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

(Reply to this)


[info]snacky
2005-02-18 05:46 pm UTC (link)
But... I thought it was fiction. Hogwarts is real? And headquartered on LJ? And full of elitist-wannabes who take themselves and a little game far too seriously?

WHY DOES NO ONE TELL ME THESE THINGS?

Thank god for f_w, or I would remain woefully uneducated all my days.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 07:41 pm UTC

[info]jetamors
2005-02-18 05:51 pm UTC (link)
Aren't charisma and Asperger's Syndrome sort of mutually exclusive?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2005-02-18 06:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jetamors, 2005-02-18 07:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2005-02-18 08:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jetamors, 2005-02-18 09:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-02-18 10:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2005-02-19 02:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2005-02-19 02:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2005-02-19 12:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2005-02-19 12:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2005-02-19 04:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]photosinensis, 2005-02-18 11:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]renata_hpjc, 2005-02-19 03:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yamashitaaki, 2005-02-21 12:21 am UTC

[info]hooverdam
2005-02-18 07:22 pm UTC (link)
Hey, sorting_elite, your site looks like shit on a Mac. If you can't be bothered to browser test, your site's not worth bothering with.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]greenling, 2005-02-18 08:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2005-02-18 09:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]elysian, 2005-02-18 10:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 10:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]backfromspace, 2005-02-18 11:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 11:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-19 03:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-19 08:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jyuu, 2005-02-19 02:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]necronomist, 2005-02-19 07:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]baskinglizard, 2005-02-20 09:01 pm UTC

[info]kadath
2005-02-18 07:35 pm UTC (link)
Is a Slytherin Push anything like a Zerg Rush?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]marlo, 2005-02-18 08:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2005-02-18 08:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 11:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2005-02-20 04:48 am UTC

[info]panthea
2005-02-18 07:49 pm UTC (link)
I may just be an idiot, but what exactly in that app qualified it as a "Slytherin push"?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Voting Guidelines for Sorting Elite -- Inside Story! - (Anonymous), 2005-02-19 01:14 pm UTC

[info]loopywafflehead
2005-02-18 08:03 pm UTC (link)
I would just like to point out that Hogwarts Rejects will accept anyone, even if they are a member of other sorting comms.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]provetheworst, 2005-02-18 09:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]loopywafflehead, 2005-02-18 09:37 pm UTC
OMG WEEE R Soooo INSULTED!
(Anonymous)
2005-02-18 09:48 pm UTC (link)
Squib because you insulted one of our beautiful community members!

Yeah. Apparently, you can only call people names and insult them in response to their application.

After they become a member they are l33t and untouchble. Or something. Whatever.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: OMG WEEE R Soooo INSULTED! - [info]deejay435, 2005-02-18 11:45 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2005-02-18 10:04 pm UTC (link)
a palimpsest that reveals as much about what has come before as what is happening now.

a) Way pretentious. b) She's making that word up.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2005-02-18 10:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-18 10:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-02-19 12:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebird5, 2005-02-20 01:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sairobi, 2005-02-20 08:04 am UTC
I'll fill out the application!
(Anonymous)
2005-02-18 10:17 pm UTC (link)


1. Name: Anonymouse!
2. Age: You should be bitch-slapped for asking

3. Have you read all 5 Harry Potter Books?
No. None. I'v only seen the movies. On cable.

4. Which one was your favorite?
Whichever one has the most Alan Rickman in it.

5. In your favorite book, how do the events affect the characters and help them grow?
Oh, Geez. When Harry caught the birdie thing and won the broom soccer match?

7. What would you change about them?
JKR should include more child pron!

8. Who is your favorite character in the Harry Potter books?

Okay. That's enough. Chocolate please?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: I'll fill out the application! - [info]the_clansmen, 2005-02-18 10:49 pm UTC

[info]chaimonkey
2005-02-18 11:40 pm UTC (link)
Haha, I got kicked offa that community too.

(Reply to this)


[info]beandelphiki
2005-02-18 11:54 pm UTC (link)
I'm really not seeing the so-called "push," and I'm on her side.

Well, okay, the addendum was kind of wanky. But honestly, I'd have responded that way too, if I'd had a thoughtful, genuine application dismissed as "one-sided." WTF?

And does "no changes after the first application" include spelling mistakes? If it does, that's a goddamn stupid rule. Hell, it's stupid not to allow edits, period, as long as they're clearly identified as edits.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]beandelphiki, 2005-02-18 11:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]firebird5, 2005-02-20 01:14 am UTC


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