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Nerd For Hire ([info]nerd_4_hire) wrote in [info]fandom_wank,
@ 2005-02-18 00:12:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:assburgers made me do it, fandom: harry potter, sorting communities

Hogwarts Elite sorting community wanks again!
It starts out pretty standard. Somebody goes to the Harry Potter rating community Sorting Elite and fills out an application. A bunch of other people accuse the person of Squibbery, OMGWTF Slytherin Push, etc. Typical wank for that comm.

Then the OP comes around and edits her application -- and the splooge flies.

Included in the addendum is:
* Various quotes from the HP Sorting Hat
* A C&Ped dictionary definition of the word "cunning"
* A violation of Blackjack's Law -- Don't blame me, I have Aspburger's [sic]
* A thinly-veiled swipe at one of the community's members
* And a rather volatile rant against the community in general --

...if that makes me the embodiment of "What it means to be a Slytherin push", whatever the pretentious fuck that means, so be it. Apparently when they were hardwiring my brain they decided "Oh, this'll be fun, let's make her completely miserable and poorly balanced, so eighteen years from now, after she's figured out all the ways she's fucked up and has come to terms with them, some community of pretentious wanks will percieve her attempts at honesty and candor as a transparent effort to get into the house that she really doesn't bloody care about, because she just enjoys filling out the surveys as a way of gaining insight into herself."

Five pages of snarking, indignation, and vendetta Squib votes follow.

Good times, good times.

ETA: Uh-oh! Spoof Community Alert, thanks to this sub-thread. It's about bloody time, too.

And also...one of the original wankers in this incident attests to the existence of missing wank that has since been screened. If anyone saw and saved this wank when it was still public, please do share.



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]loopywafflehead
2005-02-18 10:52 am UTC (link)
Man, I'm so tempted to start a Hogwarts Rejects comm, where we can celebrate our dorkiness. You be in any house you damn well please and smut in all forms will be encouraged. Anyone writing pretentious essays about their house will be thrown to the squid. Um, I can't think of anymore rules but when I do - watch out LJ!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]myalchod
2005-02-18 11:11 am UTC (link)
All dues may be paid in smut or chocolate?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]loopywafflehead
2005-02-18 11:14 am UTC (link)
Yup! Or cash. Or Professor Snape. Or something else, if you like. I'm flexible. Want to join?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bubosquared
2005-02-18 01:52 pm UTC (link)
What's the exchange rate from Snapes to cash? O_o

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kijikun
2005-02-18 02:06 pm UTC (link)
Depends is it movie!Snapes, Book!Snapes, or fanon!Snapes?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]jaseroque
2005-02-18 04:41 pm UTC (link)
... how flexible?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]loopywafflehead
2005-02-18 04:43 pm UTC (link)
*grins* Very.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]khym_chanur
2005-02-18 12:32 pm UTC (link)
You be in any house you damn well please

Even Sparklypoo?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]loopywafflehead
2005-02-18 12:34 pm UTC (link)
But of course!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kicklecubicle
2005-02-18 03:19 pm UTC (link)
I want to start the house where everyone brags about their SAT score/IQ/AP classes, in the most pretentious way possible, thinking that they're actually worth something. It'll be extra wanky trying to come up with the best member, until the person who got a 1800 on the SATs with an IQ of 600,000 and took every single AP class (and IB class, including underwater basket-weaving and whiskey tango foxtrot class) comes along. And that person's name...is Kenny Rogers.

All hail the Bearded One! Leader of the House of SBU!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]loopywafflehead
2005-02-18 04:42 pm UTC (link)
Go for it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]panthea
2005-02-18 07:51 pm UTC (link)
Dude, by SAT standards, I'm way geniuser than this chick. And I still got a C+ in Maya Archaeology last year.

That's what happens when you, er, don't study. Really.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]loopywafflehead
2005-02-18 04:48 pm UTC (link)
*CAN, you CAN be in any house. Damn I suck today.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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