Current mood:

*sporfle!*

Fear Not - a shining beacon for art, truth and wank is among us
This choice wank was brought to my attention by the excellent lala247 and, since the original threads were sadly deleted, hosted by the equally excellent queenmab_223.

So, there's a music industry fan forum called The Velvet Rope.

Meet Jamie Leigh - a one-woman walking fandom. Self-described artist, musician, poet, author, web-mistress, auteur, bleeding heart, domestic abuse survivor. "I am here to celebrate the power of human and divine individuality mixed with limitless creative expression - I hope you enjoy your time with me."

Jamie, with her very first post, spams an area called The Hype with a page-long self-pimp (unfortunately lost to the ether) pointing the way to her butt-clenchingly awful, unfathomable, irritating labyrinth of a website. The Guillotine Of Truth Has Fallen!

A new thread begins mocking her, complete with posting of hysterically funny pictures.

See Jamie Leigh defend her intentions by taking the Higher Moral Ground! Hear her ramble about being voted a Phenomenal Woman Of The Web! Watch a member drop in to defend her, then read further, step back, and encourage others to renew their "beatings"! Send Jamie your phone number! She'll call you to prove herself! (She is, after all, "one of the foremost women of the Internet today.")

Pages hosted separately:

Page 1 - My name is Jamie Leigh, and I welcome you into my world. A world where all that is known is that nothing is known nor will ever be known for sure.

Page 2 - Smile more people, you are so filled with this anger, if I can help you filter it out than I guess it's a good thing.

Page 3 - Animals and kids are what I surround myself with, they keep me humble.

Page 4 - My visitors call me the 'Madonna Of The Internet' so it's not something I came up with.

Page 5 - Trust me sweetheart, if you met me away from your computer safety net you wouldn't say much more than a peep, trust me.

(Post a new comment)

	aruru 2003-06-08 06:04 pm UTC (link)
	starting to pore through the first of the saved threads Now this certainly looks promising... >D Also, a question: What's your fancy when it comes to subs? Me, I like long - WHITE - lots of mayo - cheese - salami, you get the picture. Did anyone else get immediate phallic mental imagery at that or was it just me? ^^;; (Reply to this)(Thread)

	aruru 2003-06-08 06:05 pm UTC (link)
	PS: This .sig picture cracks me up: (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	BWAHAHAA!! singe 2003-06-08 07:50 pm UTC (link)
	I just choked on my breakfast. I knew penguins would be the death of me someday! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: BWAHAHAA!! aruru 2003-06-08 08:02 pm UTC (link)
	Every time I see that pic, I literally CANNOT stop staring at it for at least several loops. It's just too precious! XD likes penguins too, they're pretty funny animals (Reply to this)(Parent)

	allen 2003-06-08 08:05 pm UTC (link)
	God, that is so great. Trundle, trundle, trundle, whap! Who knew penguins could be so evil? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lcsbanana 2003-06-09 12:33 am UTC (link)
	Trundle, trundle, trundle, whap! It's like the story of my life, but funnier. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	*sporfle!* snowball 2003-06-09 10:08 am UTC (link)
	Oh Jesus, I can't stop laughing. dies (Reply to this)(Parent)

	soleta 2003-06-08 06:06 pm UTC (link)
	I think that was so obvious that nobody bothered to comment on it. ^^ (Reply to this)(Parent)

	aruru 2003-06-08 06:13 pm UTC (link)
	Oh yeah, and "A world where all that is known is that nothing is known nor will ever be known for sure" = possibly one of the most long-winded, piss-poor attempts at aping Socrates' classic "All I know is that I know nothing" line that I have EVER heard. (Reply to this)(Thread)

aruru
2003-06-08 09:17 pm UTC (link)

Further reading:

Somehow I don't feel you would understand his message though, this is afterall the century of 'The Matrix'. People think what they want and that's cool.

So people didn't have individual thoughts in times past? Wow, I'm sure enlightened to know that all those artists and philosophers and great minds of ages past didn't exist.

Also, I'm guessing she's one of those people that thinks the whole concept of The Matrix is "novel" and "unheard of." *snort*

Jesus, this just gets more pretentious the further you get into it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	snacky 2003-06-09 01:55 am UTC (link)
	That website makes me AND babyjesus cry. Make it stop, mommy! (Reply to this)

My favorite quote:

mirabellawotr
2003-06-09 03:33 am UTC (link)

And about the person who said this place was once 'light', I guess that's what happens when intelligence arrives, stupidity and ignorance gets afraid so their automatic defense is to be cruel and angry with anything that scares them - a shame, but very predictable.

Apparently intelligence is the identical twin of stupidity. Who knew?

I tried to access her web site, but my pop-up killer grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, yanked me back from the abyss, and demanded to know if I'd gone mad.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: My favorite quote: firebad 2003-06-09 04:02 am UTC (link)
	Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm still trapped there, myself. "It is a loathsome beast, yet I cannot look away." (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Artsy-fartsy photos jerry_ds_girl 2003-06-09 07:29 am UTC (link)
	Is it just me, or does that pic of her with "I cum in peace" drawn on her face look like "I come in puke" at first glance? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: Artsy-fartsy photos jerry_ds_girl 2003-06-09 07:32 am UTC (link)
	Oops, meant to write "I -cum- in puke." Stupid typo. (Reply to this)(Parent)

pepperpot
2003-06-09 07:42 am UTC (link)

You know, I was only able to get about halfway through the second thread before I started twitching. But I loved this little gem the best:

I knew I spelled 'FROID' wrong. Whoops. It looks better the way I typed it though, so I'll continue spelling it like that, thanks for the correction though, that spelling bee championship sure missed out when they overlooked you guys.

Dear LORD. She made a rather egregious spelling error of a very famous historical figure's name after insulting the intelligence of nearly everyone on the board. And then she tried to make those who knew the correct spelling look like the dumbasses? And then said she was going to continue spelling it "Froid" because it "looks better" that way?

Wow. She sure saved face on that one.

(Reply to this)

	sorchar 2003-06-09 07:03 pm UTC (link)
	I want to sue that worthless piece of troll poop with the hideous website to get the last half hour of my life back. (Reply to this)

	dawnswalker 2003-06-09 10:56 pm UTC (link)
	"My visitors call me the 'Madonna Of The Internet' so it's not something I came up with." Now, when they say that, do they mean the 1980s "controversial sex-doll" Madonna, or the 2000s "best friend's skanky mom you wouldn't want to be alone in the same room with" Madonna? Because I'm thinking the latter. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	rowan 2003-06-10 01:42 am UTC (link)
	Even worse, maybe she's hoping for the "mother of God" Madonna. Her ego seems 'bout right to like something like that. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Wow, I'm amazed... (Anonymous) 2004-03-12 05:13 pm UTC (link)
	How humbling and flattering you all have nothing better to do with your lives than spend it talking about me. Entertaining to say the least, so thank you, lmao. Keep it going, this is fun, almost as fun as playing 'TROUBLE'. Anyone remember that game? How about 'HUNGRY HIPPOs'. Man, those were the days, haha. With Love, Jamie Leigh Jamie Leigh (http://www.jamieleigh.net) (Reply to this)

...and one more thing
(Anonymous)
2004-03-12 05:20 pm UTC (link)

if having an ego means being confident in knowing what you want to do and caring for others and giving all you can to inspire and help others escape, then I proudly take that title. Anyone with any brains would understand that you won't get anywhere in life if you self-doubt yourself, especially if you only do what you do because you love expressing yourself and reaching others through whatever creative means you can, which I have. Funny how people never focus on the good, only the bad. People have falled in love through my website, animals who have gotten abused in shelters have gotten homes through work I've done, but of course, no one writes nor talks about those things because people don't see things for what they are, they always hunt for those strings. There is no reason to prove myself and what I do because it's plain and clear to those who don't judge and understand. It's truly sad you assume so much and continue to put down others who do their best to bring some hope and good back into this world through expression, that should teach you a lesson about yourself more than anyone else. But again, it's people like you, the doubters, the ones who put others down, the ones who do all they can to distract someone from doing what they love that push me to work that much harder, so thank you. And relax - it's just a website and I'm just an average woman with dreams and messages and things I want to say - you know I got you hooked now... ;-)

Relax and breathe, go outside and breathe some fresh air, it will be ok. Continue to hide behind your little screens in perfect harmony, lol. I wish you all the best.

Jamie Leigh (http://www.jamieleigh.net)

(Reply to this)