Whee Michael Jackson wank!
I joined a Michael Jackson fan support list after finding a whole forum of really awful Michael Jackson Mary Sue fanfic (in one fic, Michael was a teenage dragon at a special school for other teenage dragons. In ANOTHER, Michael adopted a girl who has psychic powers, could see the future, had red wings, tiger fur, and could control the weather...yeah...). I figured the list would be hilarious.
Oh, and I was right!

No, I have not trolled their boards or their list. I've watched the wank explode all on its own.

It all started when list member Linda Bernet posted the following in response to a poll asking whether people thought Michael Jackson was innocent or guilty.

"i believe he is guilty guilty guilty
May Angels watch over you always"

Now, this infuriated many list members as it's a Michael Jackson SUPPORT list, and apparently the question was rhetorical and everyone was supposed to give an outraged, "HE's INNOCENT!" type response.

...the flames started...

Yenla Poupée had this to say:

"Hey Linda, you are so stupid that you put not only your address, but also your phone number for others to see. What the fuck is wrong with you bitch? I'm sorry, but this thing is ONLY for MJ fans - which you very obviously are not. Get the fuck off of here okay? What is your fuckin' problem you raggety-crack-assed-punk-BEEYACH? I hate to have to say this, but does anybody live in OH? If you do, please go to that address and talk some sense into that bitch. If I lived in OH I would do that myself. Is there a way that she can be blocked from this ring? Yo Linda, do you know what is so ironic about you? First you write a hateful email, then you sign that email with "May Angels watch over you always." How fucked up is that? Mother-fucker, I hope you go to hell!"


Linda replied.

"obsess much! potty mouth! someone asked a question and i answered it. i dont' know how i got on this list but i would love to be taken off. and i'm sure that mj would be so proud to know that he has such high class fan's in the world as you. get a dictionary and learn how to articulate yourself on an educated level.
May Angels watch over you always

Linda Bernet"



There wre a slew of "Go fuck yourself!"/"OMG! Why are you on a MJ FAN MAILING LIST if you hate him so much!?!?" emails directed at Linda...and sent to the whole list; this caused a chain reaction of, "STOP SENDING THIS CRAP TO THE WHOLE LIST!" emails, which were all sent to the whole list.

Someone even posted a reply to me, as I answered the poll with what I thought was a pretty valid reply: We may never know. A guilty verdict doesn't necessarily mean he's guilty, and an innocent verdict doesn't necessarily mean he's innocent. That was clearly the wrong thing to say, but I haven't replied to any of the flames.

This was the threat directed at me:

Child Smile says,

You may not give out your name Tricksy, but you DID give out your email. It has been posted at mjisguilty.com. So has everybody else's. This mailing list is Dangerous and Bad.

OH NOES! I'm listed as a fan!
This ought to get interesting; I think I can name three songs by Jackson off the top of my head.




Other emails telling Linda that she r0x0rz start appearing, which causes the fans of Jackson to froth with rage...and a slew of more "FUCK YOU!!!" type emails.
Lauren takes it upon herself to be the voice of reason. We all know how well this goes over in a flame war.

Lauren says:

"Everybody needs to stop replying to these low-lifes. These people are typical haters, probably over weight, alcoholic, fugly housewives. They're here to cause trouble and to get everyone angry....don't give them what they want. If they actually want to waste their time and add there names to Michael support groups let them, they're only making themselves look stupid by spending so much time on someone they supposably hate.

The owners of this support group will deal with them...dont bother replying to there "we love each other" emails. There's no point."

At some point someone was signing up random email addresses, as the list was bogged down with a LOT of, "OMG! I never subscribed to this sick mailing list! REMOVE ME!!!" emails. Whee.




"Childsmile & Linda - you two mother-fucking bitch-assed cunts should do the
rest of us a favour and get off of this mailing list okay? This list is NOT
for MJ haters. It is for those who love & support MJ. Not only are you two
annoying the shit out of the rest of us and pissing us off, but you are also
not respecting the rest of us by being on this list. I mean, don't get me
wrong, you two have a right to your opinions, but don't express them here
because nobody is interested in them. Okay? So go join and MJ hater forum or
something where you will meet other mother-fuckers like yourselves because
on here, NOBODY is interested in what you guys have to say - and I do mean
NOBODY! So go fuck yourselves somewhere else you punk-ass bitches. Oh, one
more thing - NOBODY on this forum is interested in you guys' fuckin'
opinions. NOBODY! So fuckin' get lost."


And, finally, after much flaming, screaming, crying, and temper tantrum throwing, the list admin steps in:



*footstomp* The list admin has had enough; she's taking her hall and bat and heading back to the heavily moderated http://www.mjfansupport.com forums.

"Circle of Hope

Because of haters, this list will be closing soon. Please go to visit
http://www.mjfansupport.com"


It was most fun to watch.
The scariest sig on the list that I saw was "Love and keep Michaeling".
His name is now a verb?
I'd rather not guess as to what the meaning of that particular verb might be.