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Tracey (traceace) wrote in fandom_wank,
@ 2005-04-08 23:48:00

Current mood:

Freakish

House M.D.'s tiny wank
Ahh, House. A relatively new fandom, and one would think it's snarky, smart topic would make the trolls run for their respective covers. It's a rather small one, but considering I have seen little House wanks I thought it'd be fun to post. :D

Sadly, this is not the case.

ella_megablast (who happened to make the journal, oh, an hour or so before posting!), starts off the wank:

Let me start off my post with a big FUCK YOU.

I don't see why you geeky cocks have to take one of the few pleasures in my life, wipe your ass with it, and then post it on the internet as FAN FICTION.

GET A FUCKING LIFE! CAN'T THIS COMMUNITY BE ABOUT THE SHOW ALONE? NO ONE WANTS TO READ YOUR SHIT-COCK FAN FUCKING FICTION, YOU PIECE OF SHIT, PISS-DRINKING, LOSER, VIRGIN FUCKS!

Clearly, her OMG ANGREE bold font and RIDICULOUS USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS shows she means business, folks.

It takes around five minutes for the first outcries begin from presumably the piece of shit, piss-drinking, loser, virgin fucks that took offense to such a statement:

...And it's a relatively normal reply! Acrimonius simply states, "... And this is why we need a moderator.", which sums it up rather nicely. Pandora_poet attempts to reason with the troll, stating "Children are afoot. Mind the language." in which She replies, "CHILDREN CAN SUCK MY DICK!" Pleasant, really.

Then it starts to get really fun:

atlantapendrag gives a helpful tip to a possibily PMSing Ella: "Hon, the maxipads go sticky side down." Others suggest that she may want to take her anti-crazy meds.

Finally, we get the ultimate reply to this fanfiction hating troll: FANFICTION! Complete with mansausage!

We finally find out just why Ella is so angry: FANFICTION RUINED HER LIFE! OH NOES!

bcome_so_numb declares Ella as "Best Troll of the Year", which is where it slows down. I must admit, I think the 'Best Troll' contest was rigged, because I've seen far better trolls. But what can you do?

All and all, a small one, but ya gotta love it. I think this was worth it to see a fic using the term "mansausage", personally.

(Post a new comment)

	reinhardt 2005-04-09 07:03 am UTC (link)
	Fanfic ruined her life? She must have even less than a life than I do. "Don't like, don't read" is not a hard concept to grasp really. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	atalantapendrag 2005-04-09 07:14 am UTC (link)
	Marauding fanfic writers sacked her village, burned down her house, and raped her goldfish. But wait! Suddenly it seems that much more amusing. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

plazmah, 2005-04-09 08:01 am UTC

atalantapendrag, 2005-04-09 08:05 am UTC

plazmah, 2005-04-09 08:17 am UTC

phosfate, 2005-04-11 09:20 pm UTC

	lulinda 2005-04-09 08:06 am UTC (link)
	You gave me an icon idea. points Thanks! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-13 04:46 am UTC

	sitt_isis 2005-04-09 07:06 am UTC (link)
	Trollicus Asshaticus Ah, is that the medical term for this? Fascinating! (Reply to this)

	miss_kitten 2005-04-09 07:08 am UTC (link)
	Ten points to the troll for usage of the word "turd-burgler." (Reply to this)

	ataniell93 2005-04-09 07:20 am UTC (link)
	I know someone who actually did think the sticky side of a maxipad went up...one of my exes' moms. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	atalantapendrag 2005-04-09 07:35 am UTC (link)
	... She muat have really hated it when they came out with "wings". (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - ataniell93, 2005-04-09 07:43 am UTC

	prettypinkkitty 2005-04-09 07:49 am UTC (link)
	OH DEAR GOD THE PAIN. SWEET JESUS LORD. I wonder if this is what guys feel like when they see other guys get kicked in the balls. (Reply to this)(Parent)

bubosquared
2005-04-09 12:58 pm UTC (link)

Ow! *crosses legs* Though, that reminds me of something that happened during my training at work. (I work customer support for a P&G, which among other things produces Always pads and Tampax tampons.)

The training group consists of three women, plus the female trainer, all of us of assorted ages between 24 (me) and 43 (trainer), plus one poor hapless boy about my age. We're sitting around, talking about the History Of Feminine Protection, lamenting the early days of those huge pads that felt like you had a diaper on, or, worse, and the two older women chime in about the pads with harnesses and stuff and tell us youn'uns how lucky we were to even get the sticky ones.

Cue boy, confused: "Wait, they stick to your underwear?"
Me: "Well, yeah? How else would they stay in place?"

And then we move to tampons, and Boy wants to know how women know when they have to change tampons. I don't think we managed to come up with a better explanation than "... You just know."

Poor, clueless, sisterless Boy. <g>

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

embyquinn, 2005-04-10 04:44 am UTC

phosfate, 2005-04-11 09:23 pm UTC

	panthea 2005-04-09 06:21 pm UTC (link)
	...I actually did that once. In my defense, I was extremely stoned at the time. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	moonjaguar 2005-04-09 07:09 pm UTC (link)
	I did it accidentally when I was eleven... but that was back in the days of Stayfree having the monopoly on the "no belts! no pins!" pads and the adhesive strip was very skinny and useless. Otherwise OWWWWWW! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

kraken_sleeps, 2005-04-09 10:26 pm UTC

mythdefied, 2005-04-10 11:53 am UTC

moonjaguar, 2005-04-10 06:46 pm UTC

	misachan 2005-04-09 07:29 am UTC (link)
	Man, I check that comm every day and still missed this. All the good trolls wait until I got to work. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	atalantapendrag 2005-04-09 07:34 am UTC (link)
	It was like the lightning round of wank. I think the whole thing took half an hour. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	25th_of_april 2005-04-09 07:30 am UTC (link)
	YES! I was really hoping this would make it here tonight. I'm amusing myself by trying to think of how House would phrase an anti-fanfic rant. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	panthea 2005-04-09 06:23 pm UTC (link)
	With lots of big words, probably. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	rachelthedemon 2005-04-09 07:40 am UTC (link)
	Hon, the maxipads go sticky side down. Coffee + monitor = OTP! atalantapendrag is my new ~~lesbian crush~~ heroine. (Reply to this)(Thread)

atalantapendrag, 2005-04-09 07:50 am UTC

jrs1980, 2005-04-09 08:10 am UTC

fandom_bitch, 2005-04-10 12:09 am UTC

	jennilee 2005-04-09 07:53 am UTC (link)
	I think Ella is actually from the comm and trolled on purpose so that we'd be able to get LJ Abuse to re-mod the comm. (Reply to this)(Thread)

atalantapendrag, 2005-04-09 08:03 am UTC

jennilee, 2005-04-09 08:12 am UTC

atalantapendrag, 2005-04-09 08:18 am UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-09 08:04 am UTC

jennilee, 2005-04-09 08:10 am UTC

	ladysorka 2005-04-09 08:23 am UTC (link)
	Wow, we're big enough to attract trolls now? ...okay, maybe that's not quite a good thing. (Reply to this)(Thread)

temari, 2005-04-09 08:35 am UTC

ladysorka, 2005-04-09 08:39 am UTC

temari, 2005-04-09 08:45 am UTC

platedlizard, 2005-04-09 10:11 am UTC

temari, 2005-04-09 10:24 am UTC

mael, 2005-04-09 03:00 pm UTC

(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2005-04-09 10:12 pm UTC

ladyrogue, 2005-04-10 05:54 am UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-11 02:00 am UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-09 08:39 am UTC

ladysorka, 2005-04-09 08:40 am UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-09 08:53 am UTC

ladysorka, 2005-04-09 08:57 am UTC

firebad, 2005-04-09 02:09 pm UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2005-04-10 01:02 am UTC

	(Anonymous) 2005-04-09 09:21 am UTC (link)
	her real journal used to be on my friends page. she was in a few fanfiction communities with me. (Reply to this)(Thread)

atalantapendrag, 2005-04-09 09:26 am UTC

bubosquared, 2005-04-09 01:00 pm UTC

atalantapendrag, 2005-04-09 08:08 pm UTC

	rashaka 2005-04-09 10:42 am UTC (link)
	"OH SNAP!" ... what a come-back. I think someone's feelings were hurt. (Reply to this)

	coffee_mug 2005-04-09 01:23 pm UTC (link)
	Serial troller, oh noes. I didn't find that so funny because it's so obvious she's a fake. Like, it's exaggerated beyond being funny. Oh well. But damn, I want to see House. It seems like such a fun show. (Reply to this)

	goldberry 2005-04-09 07:42 pm UTC (link)
	Did anybody else read Ella's comments entirely in the voice of Jay of "Jay and Silent Bob" fame? (Reply to this)(Thread)

atalantapendrag, 2005-04-09 08:08 pm UTC

goldberry, 2005-04-09 08:56 pm UTC

25th_of_april, 2005-04-09 10:23 pm UTC

goldberry, 2005-04-10 12:49 am UTC

	ultimate_cin 2005-04-09 11:09 pm UTC (link)
	It looks to me like it's just a troll who's discovered a modless community..... (Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2005-04-09 11:28 pm UTC (link)
	Mansausage. cracks up That is truly wonderful. Atalantapendrag's comment was quite fitting. (Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2005-04-11 11:47 am UTC (link)
	You know, I'm rather glad I checked to see if I archived that. (http://www.technodaydreams.com/wankage/209266.html) Now it is archived for all of eternity! - someone who isn't acrimonius, really (Reply to this)

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