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Die Potterdämmerung Gibich (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} smo) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} fandom_wank,@ 2005-04-12 21:07:00 |
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| Current mood: | Fan-Fucking-tastic |
| Current music: | House |
Sexy Like Pumping Water!: RPS Badfic Wank
On the LJ community badfic_mainline, restriction makes a post mocking some "bad Franz Ferdinand fic." Everyone points and laughs, and that's it, right?
WRONG.
First muddyasblood, a fanpoodle of the author defender of the English language, butts in:
Ever heard of an oxymoron? Why don't you try reading some Shakespeare - Romeo &Juliet, for example - or perhaps any other good writer and you'll see oxymorons are used excessively as a means of figurative description. People who don't understand the basic practices of writing should not criticise other people's.
This is hot wank and wondrous strange spooge!
Then the fic's author, helvissa, shows up, and all heck breaks loose:
Seeing as you took so much time, and glee, to pick apart my fic, I thought I would take 5 minutes to respond.
I write smut. Because it's fun, and because I'm a perv. So there.
If you don't like smut or RPS, why go to slacken_ties? Oh, I know, it's RPS is 'bad'. Well, I like reading it and writing it, as do lots of other people.
*cringes* it's bad enough when they write purely franz slash. why do they have to drag other bands into it?
It's a challenge fic - and the challenge was to write a member of Franz, plus someone else. If you're going to be insulting, at least be informed.
how about apologising to the rest of us for the EYE-BLEEDINGLY BAD writing in general? if you'd done that, i might've thought a little more kindly towards you... might have... thought... a little more... kindly......
'eye-bleedingly bad'? Hahaha, I've had my writing called lots of things, but never that. I'm impressed you read the whole thing, despite having blood pouring down your face. And yeah, so I'm plugging my Ebay stuff, because I'm selling stuff that Franz fans would like. i.e. skinny ties.
And the rentboy/Moz fic? Well, I wrote the first part in the summer, and according to an article on a Canadian website, Alex Kapranos himself read it and liked it. Yes, Alex Kapranos, whose opinion I respect far more than some random, anonymous bitching from someone who writes fic about the Olympics. Hilarious!
i have to admit, the way sam styles his hair? i gotta wonder how running your fingers through your hair from back to front could in any way be considered OMG TEH HAWT!!!1
The man's hot. Fact.
*has images of alex churning butter with his hips* wtf??
If your stomach can churn, why not hips too? An alternative to the word 'grind'.
because i'm 12... teehee! y-fronts!
Look at the way Alex dresses - Mr Retro. He'd look hilariously hot in Y-fronts. At least in my pervy mind, anyway.
words that should never be used in smutfic: HELMET
I recently was on Canal Street in Manchester's gay village, and a large group of gay men begged me to use the word 'helmet' - they find it a very hot word. I would imagine, being gay, that they're quite the experts when it comes to words to describe bits of the male anatomy. Also, 'pump' is another word they recommended.
sam's cock: *beating little fists against denim* lemme out!! lemme ouuut, ya cunts!!
When was the last time you saw an erection straining against a pair of trousers?
'something for the weekend'? is this some kind of newfangled slang that i just don't get?
It's actually very old slang. Men would buy condoms from the barbers, and the barber would ask "Something for the weekend, sir?" Hence the song by The Divine Comedy, "Something for the Weekend" on the Casanova album.... Once again, be informed before being insulting.
AHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHA. oh man, first vodka as lube (seriously, WTF?), and then alex's arse opening because he breathed out...
I don't believe I stated the vodka was lube.
Also, you say you're a writer. I call myself that as well. Sadly, I often come across people who call themselves a writer, who take an obscene amount of joy in belittling other people's work. No matter how terrible a fic is, I always encourage people to write, and point out the best bits. I really hate communities like this, where people go round slagging off other people for their own self-aggrandisement. No doubt you'll have lots of fun picking apart this post, because people like you have to be the best - the loudest at parties, the one who everyone fancies... and yet the loudest noise of all is that abyss in your heart where your twisted soul has decomposed.#
But thanks for reading, anyway.
Uh... okay!
Others show up, including f_w's own esorlehcar, sorchar, and eljuno, and then the party really begins.
Good times, good times.
