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random_fandom (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} random_fandom) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} fandom_wank,@ 2005-04-15 02:36:00 |
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Symphonia Incest Wank
An ordinary day in the Tales of Symphonia fandom, where half the fangirls huggle and squee over their favorite incestuous slash pairing, while the other half retches and cries. Then along comes ravenclaw_bebop.
Bebop makes her fandom debut by posting a snarky rant in three
different communities,two of which have a fake lj-cut leading back to the full essay on the
Slash Community where the pairing is widely worshipped by adoring fangirls.
The article is first presented as a balanced essay, examining the pros and cons of the Kratos/Lloyd relationship. But what lurks behind the cut? This:
gosh, the romance. Will it never begin?
The OP then includes links to The American Psychotherapy Association,
NAMBLA, and a Harry Potter skullfuck story, all of which will probably
suit your interest "if you find Lloyd/Kratos in any way
realistically hot."
Three guesses on what happens next. Yep. Splooge!
[1]
This is a _SLASH_ site, if you you not like homosexual relationships, then you should NOT be here. If you only like "cannon" pairings FINE, enjoy them. But do it somewhere else.
[2]
This rant hurt my feelings because incest is a beautiful thing.
[3]
Yes. I agree with every word you say. Will that shut you the fuck up?
And then we have a sploogy sidequest, away from the main wank, when rosa_aquafire comes along, defending her OTP with "incest is just the same as homosexuality." Short wank here, unfortunately.
There's also a bonus fanart followup post, where people celebrate their beloved father/son pairing and rant about the original rant -- secretly and subtly, of course, in a wide-open post to the same community.
An ordinary day in the Tales of Symphonia fandom, where half the fangirls huggle and squee over their favorite incestuous slash pairing, while the other half retches and cries. Then along comes ravenclaw_bebop.
Bebop makes her fandom debut by posting a snarky rant in three
different communities,two of which have a fake lj-cut leading back to the full essay on the
Slash Community where the pairing is widely worshipped by adoring fangirls.
The article is first presented as a balanced essay, examining the pros and cons of the Kratos/Lloyd relationship. But what lurks behind the cut? This:
...this pairing is a canon impossibility because it's an
IRL abomination. There is a palpable (scary) reluctance to confess that
incest in real life isn't awfully healthy, especially between lonely,
devoted, idealistic idiot savant 17 year old kids (with probable
abandonment issues and very possible attachment disorders- who really
need Special Ed, not Sex Ed) and their worldly, infinitely experienced,
four thousand year old Papas. Oh no. And the argument that maybe all
that's needed is a lovely dose of paedophile-style grooming, so Papa
can penetrate his pubescent poppet's ass with a minimum of lubrication,
tearing and general anal trauma...
gosh, the romance. Will it never begin?
Maybe Lloyd needed a hot mana injection, but shagging
Papa isn't a cheat my Gamecube put out. It's blatant BS, fuckwittery,
hokum, and self deceiving bloody insanity to pretend to anything else.
Kratos/Lloyd is a black hole of improbability and an anti-matter of
canonical likelihood whose only practical purpose is to suck in all the
truly batshit members of the fandom, corralling them safely away from
the emo wangsters shipping Zelos/Sheena - thus averting many tears,
tantrums, dramatic exits, and general online hair pulling.
Lloyd has a pure heart and is very idealistic, but his higher brain
function is about on par with Terri Schiavo's. He's your basic paradigm
of mindless emotional response and hence can be manipulated with total
ease, as he doesn't have the common sense he'd need to defend himself.
You could certainly make a good and heart rending story out of this,
but only if you wanted to make Kratos an all round evil cunt, brutally
exploiting his tender young son's vulnerabilities and manipulating his
emotions/buttocks/throbbing shaft of manhood with truly impressive
dexterity.
The OP then includes links to The American Psychotherapy Association,
NAMBLA, and a Harry Potter skullfuck story, all of which will probably
suit your interest "if you find Lloyd/Kratos in any way
realistically hot."
Three guesses on what happens next. Yep. Splooge!
[1]
This is a _SLASH_ site, if you you not like homosexual relationships, then you should NOT be here. If you only like "cannon" pairings FINE, enjoy them. But do it somewhere else.
[2]
This rant hurt my feelings because incest is a beautiful thing.
[3]
Yes. I agree with every word you say. Will that shut you the fuck up?
And then we have a sploogy sidequest, away from the main wank, when rosa_aquafire comes along, defending her OTP with "incest is just the same as homosexuality." Short wank here, unfortunately.
There's also a bonus fanart followup post, where people celebrate their beloved father/son pairing and rant about the original rant -- secretly and subtly, of course, in a wide-open post to the same community.
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