kerikeri
2003-06-11 11:33 pm UTC (link)

Yep, it's possible. It is kind of an insensitive and inappropriate term to use, but the whole "if you say this I will NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN OMG" bit is really kind of wanky. As is one commenter's implication that she doesn't even want these horrible, insensitive people on the same communities as her. I'd like to see her try to enforce that.

Heh. I hope someone comes along to defend their usage of the term in that context, though, 'cause that'd make this wank way more interesting. *sits back, munches popcorn and waits*

(And for some reason, using "rape" in that context always seemed more crass to me than using "molest" in the same context. I'm not really sure why. One makes me wince a little and go "that's kind of not cool", but the other doesn't.)

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	phosfate 2003-06-11 11:59 pm UTC (link)
	"Molest" doesn't bug me so much. "Rape" is the equivalent of biting tinfoil. This is due in no small part to the fact that the first time I saw it used was by cobain_x_mortis. >_ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

esorlehcar
2003-06-12 12:49 am UTC (link)

I'm the same way, I guess. I've actually never seen rape used in the way descriped, which I'm grateful for, but I have seen (and hell, probably used once or twice) molest, and it's never bothered me. I don't know why... maybe molest just seems like one of those words that has been transformed. Telling a lover you're going to take them home and molest them seems harmless; substituting rape for molest really, really doesn't.

*shrug* Of course, the lines I draw in my head don't always have much to do with the outside world...

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aruru
2003-06-12 01:09 am UTC (link)

Telling a lover you're going to take them home and molest them seems harmless; substituting rape for molest really, really doesn't.

Like I said in my other post, I think it might have to do in part with the "sound" of the word. At least, that's how it works in my mind.

(Also, I just realized that I've been guilty of using "molest" to describe Gaav when he's aggresively pursuing Val, though it's always been a tongue-in-cheek comment - usually emphasized by the use of [very bad] h4x0r by writing it as "m0l3st0r." I think it also has to do with the fact that Gaav is so much older than his servant [age is probably very -if not totally- irrelevant to the demon race, though], so I'm often poking fun at the very relationship I love to 'ship by claiming that he's taking advantage of Val's innocence. ^_^;;)

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	amasaglajax 2003-06-12 03:56 am UTC (link)
	What is the whole cobain_x_mortis thing, if you don't mind explaining? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

sagralisse
2003-06-12 05:18 am UTC (link)

She's a wanky pagan who's into white pride, worshiping Kurt Cobain, hating Avril, posting angst-ridden TMI in her journal, and generally being a pain in the ass. She got wanked for whining about Black History month at her college and making transparent claims that she's not a racist. She lashed back angrily... got wanked a couple more times... and finally hooked up with she-who-shall-not-be-wanked.

It was sort of decided that we might not want to rag on her so much as she's prone to depression.

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	phosfate 2003-06-12 05:31 am UTC (link)
	It was sort of decided that we might not want to rag on her so much as she's prone to depression. And prone to being a tedious little fuck. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	aruru 2003-06-12 11:30 am UTC (link)
	After hearing her history, I am STILL totally keeping an eye on her if she decides to open her mouth and get disruptive and offensive to the other members over on TWS Support, though. (Reply to this)(Parent)

lm
2003-06-13 01:15 am UTC (link)

She's my only claim to fandom _wank fame, that's who she is!

(Why, yes, I am still sucking up every bit of credit for posting the initial wank about her. Thanks for noticing.)

Er. Yeah. Anyway, the wank started when she said that, to paraphrase, the Buffy writers were only putting a black one-shot character (the girl played by Ashanti) on the show to appeal to UPN's supposedly primarily-black audience. And then she said she hated Black History Month because black people are all lazy with no work ethic and need to all be shipped off to Africa where they could starve far, far away from her.

And she said that the people who were willing to buy Kurt Cobain's journals were the reason why he killed himself, and oh yeah, she said she wished she were a man so she could go out and rape a bunch of gay guys.

And she claimed to be Wiccan, and started an "interfaith" community whose apparently sole topic of conversation was how evil and terrible Catholics are.

But the reason why the wank was so ongoing is because she kept fuelling our fires by posting here, and posting stuff directed at us on her journals, and defending herself so poorly that she ended up digging herself so deep she probably ended up in China. And since she more than likely hates Asians, it was a fitting punishment. Or something.

The agreement was not to post any more about her because she started to just seem really pathetic. And we'd heard all her material and didn't want to be repetitive, so it was time to move on.

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	(Anonymous) 2003-10-16 07:59 am UTC (link)
	rapes your dead corpse. rapes it again for cobain_x_mortis ~kurtmulgrew~ (Reply to this)(Parent)

aruru
2003-06-12 12:53 am UTC (link)

I have the same issue with "molest" and "rape," for some bizarre reason. Maybe it's because the word doesn't "sound" quite as rough when you roll it off your tongue.

I don't particularly like that slang much (I was certainly rather shocked the first few times I saw the word being used in that sense.), but I certainly don't begrudge anyone's use of it, as I tend to gravitate toward the mentality that words only have the power you let them have. What she's doing of outright rejecting people who could be perfectly intelligent folks JUST because of an itty bit of slang she finds crass is definitely very, VERY wanky, though.

We should keep an eye on this one and see if some actual kerfluffle kicks in in a few hours. *readies snacks*

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elke_tanzer
2003-06-12 07:04 am UTC (link)

As the likely culprit who mentioned the communities thing, I'd just like to clarify... if I've joined a LJ community where that sort of slang becomes accepted, I'll leave it. No enforcing... I just don't want to see that sort of language used that sort of way, so I'd be looking away and elsewhere.

Live 'n let live... but I am what I eat.

And no, I don't plan on leaving f_w any time soon, ya silly gits. f_w is pretty exempt from any and all rules, in my book, anyway.

Squidwarts 4EVA, baby!

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	carolinecrane 2003-06-12 12:26 am UTC (link)
	If only I wasn't so lazy, I would make a post in her journal about how she makes Alexander Pope cry because he can't be on her friends list. Not that I'm in any way condoning the use of the word 'rape' in that context, because frankly, that is kind of an uninformed and insensitive thing to do. But the presentation is definitely wanky. (Reply to this)(Thread)

zannechaos
2003-06-12 12:56 am UTC (link)

I disagree. She could very well have personal reasons for being so deeply affected. I know I feel very much the same way she does. I doubt I would defriend a longtime friend over it, but I'd certainly tear into them for it.

There's nothing pleasant or cute at all about rape. It's vile and cruel, and every time I see it, I flinch.

I don't think I'd want to be friends with someone who considered it an acceptable thing to do either. It's beyond crass.

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kerikeri
2003-06-12 01:06 am UTC (link)

I doubt I would defriend a longtime friend over it, but I'd certainly tear into them for it.

Well, yeah-- that's my problem with her post. It's the zero tolerance aspect that bothers me. I'm sure I've said things in ignorance that have offended people, but if I ever do that, I'd rather have someone say "Hey, you know, that really wasn't cool and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't say that anymore around me" rather than never speak to me again over one comment. I'd be a lot more sympathetic toward her if it seemed like she planned to try to educate people rather than just throwing a fit and deleting them from her journal. That accomplishes nothing.

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	zannechaos 2003-06-12 01:10 am UTC (link)
	I told her as much; I left a comment basically along the lines if someone sees this, knows it's a vile thing to do, and keeps on doing it, that's one thing. But before defriending a good friend, if she's not sure they've seen the post, talk it over with them. If they shrug it off... well, that's another matter. (Reply to this)(Parent)

moonjaguar
2003-06-12 12:54 am UTC (link)

I don't know how many people would greet people in various IRC chats with "humps X's leg", "molests X's boots" or "anally rapes X with a table leg decorated with images of man-boy love." In this context it just made me giggle. I figure people know that real rape and molestation is ugly and not funny and that dogs humping your legs is annoying.

"Rapes your icon" to me is just an expression of glee. In bad taste, yes, but I like Bad Taste Humor myself.

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unoriginality
2003-06-12 02:50 am UTC (link)

I said in Zanne's personal LJ in my comment to her rant on this that I agree, it's crass, and pretty much unacceptable. Molesting... I kinda see differently. In the terms of real life, neither is acceptable. Although I do like how esorlehcar put it: "Telling a lover you're going to take them home and molest them seems harmless; substituting rape for molest really, really doesn't."

I think that's why molest never bugged me. I've been known (I think I've done it once, actually) to greet Zanne with a big string of actions, including pounce, tackle, hug, and molest. It's a teasing things between friends over the internet. I wouldn't actually molest her in real life. Even if I did think that little of her (and could get to her- I promise you, Zanne, I WILL come and harrass you at your home someday), I really have no desire to get hit over the head with a book or something. XD

I dunno why, but the use of 'rape' in the term 'character raping' to describe an author just messing up on characterization doesn't bother me either. If it's particularly bad characterization, then that term's probably about right for it. -_- Does this make me a hypocrite? Gods, I hope not- I always thought hypocrites were the biggest wankers ever and proving myself a wanker on a "make fun of wankers!" community would be more irony than I can handle. XD

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kerikeri
2003-06-12 03:02 am UTC (link)

It's a teasing things between friends over the internet.

Yeah. It takes on a different, lighter connotation when used from one adult to another, I think.

I dunno why, but the use of 'rape' in the term 'character raping' to describe an author just messing up on characterization doesn't bother me either. If it's particularly bad characterization, then that term's probably about right for it. -_- Does this make me a hypocrite?

Nah. The difference, I think, is that that context preserves the "rape = bad thing" connotation. I guess if one was really militant about it, they could argue that it's still a trivialization (making a parallel between a very serious issue and a less serious one, in this case), but it's not warping the concept into a positive one.

Okay, yeah. I'm starting to feel wanky myself with all this serious discussion. *goes back to pointing and laughing*

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	Re: unoriginality 2003-06-12 04:20 am UTC (link)
	Okay, as long as I'm not proving myself a wanker here. grins and reaches for the popcorn (Reply to this)(Parent)

aruru
2003-06-12 03:20 am UTC (link)

I think that's why molest never bugged me.

Well, I already said before why "molest" doesn't seem to bother me, and noting that I was guilty of that particular word, so I won't repeat myself there. ^_^;;

I dunno why, but the use of 'rape' in the term 'character raping' to describe an author just messing up on characterization doesn't bother me either.

It doesn't bother me to use it there either. I dunno why, I just guess that I find extremely gross mischaracterization to merit such a term. ^^;

Does this make me a hypocrite? Gods, I hope not- I always thought hypocrites were the biggest wankers ever and proving myself a wanker on a "make fun of wankers!" community would be more irony than I can handle. XD

I thought the whole concept of having a "make fun of wankers!" community and being an active member in it was already a bit wankish in and of itself, so that irony existed LONG before you came in. ^_-

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	Re: unoriginality 2003-06-12 04:22 am UTC (link)
	......goes into seizures from an irony overdoes XD (Reply to this)(Parent)

schoenschoen
2003-06-12 03:39 am UTC (link)

Well, considering the fact that I *did* have a boyfriend whose idea of a compliment was "I'm raping you!", I don't personally find it all that offensive. *of course, this is the same boyfriend who hates everyone in the world *but* me O_o Right* I totally understand people who do, but that's no reason to *delist* someone!

*on a sidenote, I *love* getting delisted for stupid, wanky shit - someone once delisted me for posting about getting to go to a convention and not knowing how to use an LJ-cut - she was mostly just mad that she didn't get to go. Is it just me, or is that the way *everyone* learns how to LJ-cut?*

And I've seen someone do that recently, too, and it didn't bother me then, either. ^^ *pet**pets person in question* I still luff j00!

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soy_latte
2003-06-12 05:27 am UTC (link)

Well, if throwing a hissy over it spawns discussion, I'm all for it.

Someone there commented about being in an RPG where people frequently used "molest" and I have to say, I know exactly what she's talking about. I guess if the people doing it are comfortable with it, it's fine, but if it had been me I probably wouldn't have been (depending on the person doing it). I've been in RPG chats like that where people say *gropes chat* or *gropes room* and I've said things like "no thanks" or "except me." Sure, it's just a chat, and an RPG one at that, but my character wouldn't have stood for that had it been a real life situation, which is what its simulating.

The rape word usage issue is a bit more sensitive I suppose, and if someone is that uncomfortable with it they really should confront the person using it. Maybe her general rant about it was supposed to do that?

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anniemoon
2003-06-12 06:00 am UTC (link)

Awwww! My first wank. *sniff* I'd like to thank my insomnia for making me so goddamned tired today, which triggered my crankiness, which triggered my wank. And I'd like to thank Baby Jesus, who so kindly shed a small tear over my wank. Finally, I'd also like to thank my Hitachi Magic wand for...oh, wait. Not that kind of wank.

Don't see what this has to do with the fandom part of fandom_wank, but whatever. I'm just thrilled to be nominated. *curtsies* *blows kisses* Yay!

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	aruru 2003-06-12 01:03 pm UTC (link)
	Don't see what this has to do with the fandom part of fandom_wank, but whatever. Well, the behavior seems to be most particularly prominent among fans on the internet (at least, when compared to people using it in normal conversation, especially IRL), so there's your fandom applicability right there. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	phosfate 2003-06-12 05:48 pm UTC (link)
	Heartiest congratulations! ::shakes your JAZZ HANDS!:: (Reply to this)(Parent)

	petulance 2003-06-13 04:12 pm UTC (link)
	rapes (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sajasma 2003-06-12 09:58 pm UTC (link)
	omg! your icon! rapes it (Reply to this)(Thread)

	sajasma 2003-06-12 09:59 pm UTC (link)
	thinks about it well, er, nevermind... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	croupier 2003-06-12 11:56 pm UTC (link)
	The slang is annoying, but the whole "forbidden language" thing weirds me out a lot more than the slang does. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	petulance 2003-06-13 04:13 pm UTC (link)
	Words are scary and powerful. ;P (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	croupier 2003-06-13 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	SO'S YOUR FACE! (Reply to this)(Parent)